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Kishi
06-11-2007, 08:05 PM
I'd heard the arguments from both sides, of course. On one hand, it was a magazine written from the relatable perspective of a fellow enthusiast; on the other, it was the handywork of Dave Halverson and his dark troop of pretention junkies. I surmised, as anyone would, that certain trade-offs were inescapable. But now I know for sure. Yes, I know as much in as many ways as any person possibly can. I've felt the oily contours of his fevered mind press up from the page to my trembling fingertips as they sifted through the book, plunging me successively deeper into the nightmare pitch of infantile hyperbole and profanity. And now it's too late to ever go back.

Again, I knew the risks. I was fully aware of each misfortune that stood to befall me. But god help me--god damn me--I just couldn't help but to venture a sample of that Dracula X Chronicles cover story. They had the Kojima artwork up on the outside and the big Igarashi interview on the inside... It looked pretty good! Hell, if I should have any excuse for my actions, it was pretty good. But then I made the grievous mistake of deciding to skim some of the other content therein the eldritch rag.

Game reviews? Dawn of Mana: eight point zero. Anime reviews? Schlocky balloon-titted fan service show of the month: nine point zero! Advertisements? Porn games courtesy of J-List. Game previews? A man presented as a professional journalist asserting to his reader that the wait for Phoenix Wright 3, quote, "sucks really hard." And on and on along a slick downward spiral of delirious insanity.

By the time I'd reached the back cover, I felt as if my body--my very flesh!--were coming alive with the desperate desire to flee, forcibly rejecting the pestilent substance I held in my hands. It was all I could do to stop myself from flinging it clear across the store, but nevertheless, I escaped intact.

But you, true believers--you may not be so lucky! So, please, lest you would fail to wrestle free of Play's slavering tendrils, lest your mind would bloat and hemorrhage with strokes and aneurysms at its maddening print, take my eternal advice and avoid it no matter the cost! For the love of all that's still good in this world, SAVE YOURSELVES!

Torgo
06-11-2007, 08:07 PM
I see what you did there.

Jeanie
06-11-2007, 08:10 PM
Well, my experiance with it has taught me not to expect anything remotely resembling serious journalism from them. Once I did that my results went from "horribly disgusted" to "mildly creeped-out in that way you get from talking to a stalker".

Excitemike
06-11-2007, 08:18 PM
Tycho? Is that you?

chocogaz
06-11-2007, 08:25 PM
Play's layouts make me wish next Generation was still around.

But I've always thought their anime reviews were pretty crap. Never once saw a bad one. Game reviews could vary wildly.

But I've always liked their layout.

SDMX
06-11-2007, 08:33 PM
See, this is why I love SA so much. I could pay 10 dollars to replace Kishi's custom title with "FUCK JAPAN AND EVERYTHING THAT LOOKS LIKE JAPAN" and perhaps a jaunty avatar to go with it and from then on, the people would understand the gist of his posts.

Money well spent for the good of the people. And Parish would be able to get a burrito or something. Everybody wins.

Parish
06-11-2007, 08:43 PM
I was kinda toying with the idea of paying for the cost of this forum software by selling moderator-ships... but I rather suspect that way lies madness most foul.

Excitemike
06-11-2007, 08:47 PM
I was kinda toying with the idea of paying for the cost of this forum software by selling moderator-ships... but I rather suspect that way lies madness most foul.

I just had a vision of the Apocalypse.
And I liked it.

Jeanie
06-11-2007, 09:05 PM
I just had a vision of the Apocalypse.
And I liked it.

Did it involve having people live in Vaults?

Red Hedgehog
06-11-2007, 10:38 PM
Usually I'm so impressed by Play's colors and art and layout that I just ignore the actual content written. See like, I know they wrote some glowing feature on Ultiate Ghosts's 'N Goblins, but I can remember absolutely none of it, just that there were pretty pictures.

locit
06-11-2007, 11:11 PM
See like, I know they wrote some glowing feature on Ultiate Ghosts's 'N Goblins, but I can remember absolutely none of it, just that there were pretty pictures.

So it's a gaming magazine whose underlying thematic layout is aimed at... toddlers? Retarded adolescents? GamePro subscribers? (stop me if I guess it, here)

shivam
06-11-2007, 11:39 PM
i love play magazine. the design is gorgeous, the art style is rad, the articles are unceasingly happy and optimistic, and the magazine is pure fan candy. and damn it, in this world of cynical motherfuckers who write lengthy works about why your favorite game sucks, its nice to have something so blatantly opposite.

alexb
06-11-2007, 11:48 PM
Yeah, but why pay for unabashed fanboyism? You get that for free on the net.

philliam
06-11-2007, 11:50 PM
Kishi likes men

shivam
06-11-2007, 11:53 PM
cause the net doesnt have the pretty art.

djSyndrome
06-12-2007, 06:36 AM
I was kinda toying with the idea of paying for the cost of this forum software by selling moderator-ships... but I rather suspect that way lies madness most foul.

Especially since some of us have more money than brains.

i love play magazine. the design is gorgeous, the art style is rad, the articles are unceasingly happy and optimistic, and the magazine is pure fan candy. and damn it, in this world of cynical motherfuckers who write lengthy works about why your favorite game sucks, its nice to have something so blatantly opposite.

So basically as long as one is smart enough to not base any purchasing decisions on Play's content - see the Dawn of Mana score Kishi cited above - everything will be okay?

I've felt that Play is a really good art department in search of non-weeaboo writers. It could be so much more, but by sugar-coating every fucking thing they throw on their pages and pandering exclusively to wapanese fanboys, they're sealing their own destruction. As soon as Halverson's money runs out, anyway.

SDMX
06-12-2007, 06:48 AM
Especially since some of us have more money than brains.

As soon as Halverson's money runs out, anyway.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v87/somniamagus/DuckHunt.jpg

Play is to video games what sapphic pornography is to women. No, in reality, not every one of them is a winner, but the magazine makes them look so damn good, who really cares? Everyone knows you're not taking them all home anyway.

djSyndrome
06-12-2007, 07:26 AM
Why is there half of a hollow pac-man outline on your picture?

SDMX
06-12-2007, 08:02 AM
If I were to venture a guess, I would say it's because that's what the targeting reticle in the flash iteration of Duck Hunt.

This, of course, is what you notice after I make the most brilliant allegory I've used all week. I don't normally take after Mike Tyson, but monsieur, I will make it a point to eat yo' babies.

bobservo
06-12-2007, 08:04 AM
The layout is great, but the criticism within the magazine sucks. Nine out of ten games/anime titles reviewed get the coveted "A" ranking, but that's not what annoys me the most. I stopped reading the magazine after I saw that their review of Toejam and Earl 3 was written by someone who worked on the game. Which is why it scored higher in Play than anywhere else.

There was a worse magazine out there called PS2e (I think) that ranked games on a scale of 1-100, but you could have honestly thrown out the first 89 points, because you sure as hell wouldn't be seeing them in print.

djSyndrome
06-12-2007, 08:07 AM
This, of course, is what you notice after I make the most brilliant allegory I've used all week. I don't normally take after Mike Tyson, but monsieur, I will make it a point to eat yo' babies.

It's only Tuesday. You still have time to whip up something better.

Parish
06-12-2007, 09:31 AM
i love play magazine. the design is gorgeous, the art style is rad, the articles are unceasingly happy and optimistic, and the magazine is pure fan candy. and damn it, in this world of cynical motherfuckers who write lengthy works about why your favorite game sucks, its nice to have something so blatantly opposite.
But Shivam, your favorite games do suck.

Ha, ha, just kidding, you big lug.

Or am I?

Naw, I am.

Maybe.

shivam
06-12-2007, 09:54 AM
Let's be honest here--by the time magazines hit the newsstands, we've all already come to conclusions about every game inside, due to the carpetbombing infodrops from all of the websites and stuff. There's nothing to be gleamed from the magazines in terms of legit info, so why read them at all? Simply put, i read them because they are fun to read. Play isn't going to win any awards for objectivity or for being particularly fair or harsh with its reviews, and everyone reading hte mag knows this going in. Rather, we read it because it reminds us that there are still people in the world for whom each cliche is fresh and new and exciting, and every game and anime is someone's first game, or first anime. It's a window looking back on when we ourselves were thrilled to death to open that box of ikari warriors, or super turrican or whatever, just because we didn't know any better.

djSyndrome
06-12-2007, 09:59 AM
So Shivam, do you read Play, or do you buy it? Every time we're at B&N I can't help but go through each issue, but I have yet to man up and spend the required cash to take one home.

shivam
06-12-2007, 10:00 AM
generally, i just read it, since my various offices have had copies floating around. I bought the odin sphere issue, cause the cover was gorgeous. When i get a job, i'm probably just gonna subscribe.

Kishi
06-12-2007, 10:46 AM
Tycho? Is that you?

I was vaguely shooting for Lovecraft, but I guess Tycho is pretty much what you get when you take his work, remove the ancient fish gods and evil colors from space, and replace them with video games. So thanks.


See, this is why I love SA so much. I could pay 10 dollars to replace Kishi's custom title with "FUCK JAPAN AND EVERYTHING THAT LOOKS LIKE JAPAN" and perhaps a jaunty avatar to go with it and from then on, the people would understand the gist of his posts.

What.

locit
06-12-2007, 12:33 PM
What.

Second'd.

alexb
06-12-2007, 12:52 PM
Didn't you hear? You're either 100% down with pink haired 11-year-olds with D cups in maid costumes showing you their panties, or you only like stuff in so far as it reminds you of the Bayuex Tapestry.

j00ey
06-13-2007, 12:38 PM
i love play magazine. the design is gorgeous, the art style is rad, the articles are unceasingly happy and optimistic, and the magazine is pure fan candy. and damn it, in this world of cynical motherfuckers who write lengthy works about why your favorite game sucks, its nice to have something so blatantly opposite.

Gabe? Is that you?

bobservo
06-13-2007, 11:39 PM
Who needs things like journalistic intergrity when we can pretend to be naive 12 year-olds?

SDMX
06-14-2007, 06:43 AM
Who needs things like journalistic intergrity when we can pretend to be naive 12 year-olds?

Dave Halverson likes games more than you do and he publishes a visually stunning magazine about it, but no it's not very credible. Jesus christ, I think we've established the thread by now.

Anyone else pay attention to the fact that he shows some of the least biased platform coverage in the industry? He may be a giant wapo, but he's at least willing to give everything out there an equal shot. This is, after all, the guy that brought us the first big break on Project Ego and Panzer Dragoon Orta when even Xbox Official was calling its console an arid desert for anything but FPSes. Skip the reviews if you find them so offensive, but for news, Play has always been the unending fountain. When that dries up, I'll consider looking elsewhere.

I can't take two steps into the world of gaming reviews without getting violently ill at bitter vets, (http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2007/03/14) or brainless imbeciles (http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2006/09/05) (since PA's rants on this topic come so readily to mind). Holy crap, there's someone out there who's been consistently optimistic for almost a decade?

Please and Thank you.

bobservo
06-14-2007, 10:29 AM
Dave Halverson likes games more than you do and he publishes a visually stunning magazine about it, but no it's not very credible. Jesus christ, I think we've established the thread by now.


pit of flames, deal with it

j00ey
06-14-2007, 01:00 PM
Holy crap, there's someone out there who's been consistently optimistic for almost a decade?

Look, I know you're upset at the binary nature of people on the internet. We know it sucks and people are idiots and it hurts. But I don't think running away to the unary planet of Halverson is the healthy solution.