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View Full Version : Bacon (Spelled C-A-N-C-E-R): The "It Tastes Good So It Can't Be Good For You" Thread


Positronic Brain
10-27-2015, 02:41 PM
So (shocker) the WHO has classified processed meat as a Group 1 (http://www.bbc.com/news/health-34615621) substance - which means it causes cancer and, like everything good in life, will probably kill you. Now, this isn't surprising, since everybody already knew too much red meat wasn't too good for you. And while the WHO recommends eating 50gr a day and studies show processed meat is not as bad as tobacco (around 18% increase in colon cancer risk), this hasn't stopped the processed meat industry in Spain (which is huge) from crying how the evil WHO is out to get them and has announced it is funding its own studies.

Now, my health conscious wife had already diminished how much red meat we eat, and I'm still going to eat bacon once a week. I like living on the edge. Any dietary changes in your future as consequence of these news?

pointzeroeight
10-27-2015, 02:51 PM
So (shocker) the WHO has classified processed meat as a Group 1 (http://www.bbc.com/news/health-34615621) substance - which means it causes cancer and, like everything good in life, will probably kill you. Now, this isn't surprising, since everybody already knew too much red meat wasn't too good for you. And while the WHO recommends eating 50gr a day and studies show processed meat is not as bad as tobacco (around 18% increase in colon cancer risk), this hasn't stopped the processed meat industry in Spain (which is huge) from crying how the evil WHO is out to get them and has announced it is funding its own studies.

Now, my health conscious wife had already diminished how much red meat we eat, and I'm still going to eat bacon once a week. I like living on the edge. Any dietary changes in your future as consequence of these news?

Nope. Haven't eaten meat (or other animal products) of any sort in a few years now.

Isrieri
10-27-2015, 03:05 PM
At this point, fucking everything will kill me. So screw it.

Surely, you'd have to eat bacon daily for there to be really negative repercussions from it. And I haven't had bacon in several months cuz I don't like cleaning the grease. But if its offered, I'm eating it.

Mr. Sensible
10-27-2015, 03:20 PM
I would invoke one of Dennis Leary's appropriated rants here, but I'm feeling tasteful today.

Paul le Fou
10-27-2015, 03:21 PM
It's based on daily intake. Just eat meat occasionally and in smaller amounts and better qualities of it, instead of as a staple of your diet, like any other food or pleasurable thing we already knew was bad and was going to kill you.

P.S. These same foods have been linked to heart disease for years, at higher and more dangerous rates anyways. If that didn't get you to change your habits, why would this do it now?

MooMoo
10-27-2015, 03:22 PM
There has been furore by racist fuckbags that this is all a ploy by Muslims to "ban bacon".

No one is even banning it.

That said, I think while it wont stop me eating it, it probably will make me limit it to more of a "treat" food. I'm so wanting to get off to a bit more of a vegetarian diet, so maybe this can be the springboard.

Rivers
10-27-2015, 03:53 PM
I don't eat pork or bacon because pigs are our friends!

Disclaimer: I'm eating fish as I type this so I guess I'm not friends with sea creatures.

madhair60
10-27-2015, 04:04 PM
HAHAHAHA! Insha'allah, suckers! Enjoy your atheist death-baps!

ArugulaZ
10-27-2015, 06:00 PM
1oDAkmfoAgA

BŁge
10-27-2015, 07:34 PM
I don't eat pork or bacon because pigs are our friends!

Disclaimer: I'm eating fish as I type this so I guess I'm not friends with sea creatures.

Fish is good for you, though. It's full of nourishing proteins and fats.

Lady
10-27-2015, 07:57 PM
I pulled out the bacon from the freezer (... it's dated 2014, don't tell kishi) and cooked 1 slice for an omelet this very day! Kismet!

R^2
10-27-2015, 11:29 PM
Who cares what the WHO thinks? They haven't released any new music since what, 2006?

Daikaiju
10-28-2015, 09:00 AM
66G__mozVzE

ArugulaZ
10-28-2015, 09:34 AM
Off topic, but damn... Stephen Colbert is way funnier than David Letterman was. CBS made a smart choice making him the host of the Late Show.

Rivers
10-28-2015, 10:05 AM
Off topic, but damn... Stephen Colbert is way funnier than David Letterman was. CBS made a smart choice making him the host of the Late Show.

WHAAAT? Letterman isn't on the Late Show anymore?? :(

madhair60
10-28-2015, 10:10 AM
WHAAAT? Letterman isn't on the Late Show anymore?? :(
Mate.

jpfriction
10-28-2015, 11:20 AM
WHAAAT? Letterman isn't on the Late Show anymore?? :(

Check out his last few episodes if you get a chance. Moving stuff.

Zef
10-28-2015, 11:28 AM
http://i.imgur.com/XcMhYga.png

But seriously, it's just a report. And it's also just bacon. The way the Internet has responded to this news, you'd think the Doctors @ WHO insulted everyone's mother, country, dog, and favorite sports team all at the same time.

I'll never get the Internet's near-fanatical fascination with the chewing gum of processed meats.

BŁge
10-28-2015, 11:56 AM
I'm actually surprised at how long it too to find a link to cancer in bacon, given the amount of sodium and sulfites are in it.

Daikaiju
10-28-2015, 05:01 PM
Best part of that clip

"*cough* that... That was much better than I thought it would be."

misadventurous
10-29-2015, 05:09 AM
bacon is the candy of meat, the dessert of breakfast foods. (okay, that's also crepes.)
I love red meat but have cut down on it a lot because sadly, i also love being healthy and alive.

Sven
10-29-2015, 08:51 AM
Also, all the study shows is that meat intake is brings you from a control group who contract cancer of 5.8% to an impacted group 6.6%.

So, basically, an extra eight people out of a thousand would contract cancer, on the presumption that they live long enough to contract it anyway.

Go have a burger, folks, nothing much to see here that we didn't already know. And, y'know, don't forget prostrate exams if you're a dude.

Vaeran
10-29-2015, 09:49 AM
And, y'know, don't forget prostrate exams if you're a dude.

Please lie face down on the floor. The doctor will be in to see you in a moment.

Sven
10-29-2015, 12:35 PM
... goddammit.

muteKi
10-29-2015, 11:02 PM
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/51/93/4c/51934c98b46e3c21690e60fbd9a5a5bb.jpg

feel shame for your words and deeds

YangusKhan
10-30-2015, 02:49 PM
What implications does this have for turkey versions of said meats? Turkey sausage, turkey bacon, turkey hot dogs...I need to know.

Vaeran
10-30-2015, 03:43 PM
Can't find turkey chicken anywhere. There's a niche that hasn't been filled yet.

Daikaiju
11-03-2015, 11:35 AM
I do enjoy Louis Rich Turkey dogs.

SpoonyBardOL
11-03-2015, 11:43 AM
Soon we'll have Turkey-Turkey, and we'll hit the lean meat singularity.

Zef
11-03-2015, 11:45 AM
Soon we'll have Turkey-Turkey, and we'll hit the lean meat singularity.

How about turkey-flavored tofu?

Or turkey surimi.

Red Hedgehog
11-03-2015, 11:57 AM
How about turkey-flavored tofu?

Tofurkey is an abomination unto the Gods. How it can taste so much like turkey is a mystery best left unexplored and its super-dry texture is something no mortal should have to experience.

BŁge
11-03-2015, 12:23 PM
I haven't had tofurky in ages. Mainly because it's mostly wheat gluten.

Dadgum Roi
11-03-2015, 12:30 PM
How it can taste so much like turkey is a mystery best left unexplored and its super-dry texture

You just answered your own question.

Rivers
11-03-2015, 02:03 PM
Turkey is kinda dry and shitty. I don't know why it's the Thanksgiving tradition. Usually my mom makes enchiladas instead.

pudik
11-03-2015, 02:30 PM
Ah, the thanksgiving tradition of loading up your plate with enough cranberry, gravy, and egg noodles to slide the turkey through to mitigate the feeling of eating a meat washcloth.

Mr. Sensible
11-03-2015, 03:15 PM
Avoiding a dry turkey is the most persuasive argument for deep-frying. I just wish it weren't so dangerous, with the OIL and the BOY-NING and the OYYYYY lady

dosboot
11-03-2015, 03:55 PM
They don't really sell turkey in grocery stores like they do chicken and beef, as in raw frozen cuts. All I've seen are turkey slices in the deli section (and whole turkeys around Thanksgiving). I'm sure if you could cook it like that it would taste a lot better.

spineshark
11-03-2015, 07:38 PM
Turkey is kinda dry and shitty. I don't know why it's the Thanksgiving tradition. Usually my mom makes enchiladas instead.outside of a 2-3 year stint i've been vegetarian my whole life and i'm pretty sure my biggest shock about eating meat was that turkey...tastes exactly like it smells. i figured it was secretly really good or something, but what the fuck?

JBear
11-04-2015, 06:54 AM
i'm pretty sure my biggest shock about eating meat was that turkey...tastes exactly like it smells. i figured it was secretly really good or something, but what the fuck?

tradition

Positronic Brain
11-04-2015, 07:02 AM
If god really wanted us to eat turkey at Thanksgivings, he should have made them out of bacon.

Dizzy
11-04-2015, 07:32 AM
Stop eating me

http://i.imgur.com/JL8AfIr.jpg


STOP EATING ME =(


http://i.imgur.com/NUm3NN1.jpg?1

Positronic Brain
11-04-2015, 07:36 AM
Look, baby bacon! 🍴

Red Hedgehog
11-04-2015, 09:17 AM
In (some) defense of turkey, the conventional wisdom of roasting the bird for X minutes per pound will dry out the bird like no one's business. And if you want in-bird stuffing, you probably do need to follow those directions so you don't give everyone salmonella.

Following modern chefs' advice for turkey cooking times (or just using a meat thermometer) will give you a vastly better product as will brining, spatch-cocking, and/or deep-frying.

Ever since my family switched to brined turkey without stuffing, Thanksgiving dinner has become so much better.

Dadgum Roi
11-04-2015, 09:19 AM
I have brined turkey; it is still shitty and dry.

Red Hedgehog
11-04-2015, 10:40 AM
I have brined turkey; it is still shitty and dry.

It will never have the taste of other meats, but if you cook it right, it definitely isn't dry.

JBear
11-04-2015, 10:44 AM
It will never have the taste of other meats, but if you slather it in gravy/cranberry, it definitely isn't dry.
Turkey is just the medium, because people would feel guilty about drinking gravy from a glass.

Dadgum Roi
11-04-2015, 10:59 AM
It will never have the taste of other meats, but if you cook it right, it definitely isn't dry.

I can cook a whole chicken like nobody's business-juicy and tasting excellent, brining or no. I can cook smaller poultry like quail and cornish game hens with no problems.

It is only the useless, tasteless, awful turkey that reliably comes out tasting like an unmixed bag of Portland cement.

Zef
11-04-2015, 11:13 AM
I have brined turkey; it is still shitty and dry.

http://38.media.tumblr.com/f3e5051c4d62d9c8aabea06386e062de/tumblr_mwzmztBC2H1qh7zd7o1_500.gif

Dadgum Roi
11-04-2015, 11:22 AM
Ask yourselves: would the Puritans have eaten it if it tasted good?

Ample Vigour
11-04-2015, 11:36 AM
I overcooked our duck like hell last christmas and it still came out tasty. Turkey is the most unforgiving of the gallinaceous game fowl

spineshark
11-04-2015, 12:27 PM
Turkey is just the medium, because people would feel guilty about drinking gravy from a glass.I love my mom's gravy. That's why I put it on all my vegetables. The best of both worlds!

BŁge
11-04-2015, 01:14 PM
Turkey is just the medium, because people would feel guilty about drinking gravy from a glass.

To hell with gravy. Give me chalet sauce in a glass.

Reinforcements
11-04-2015, 03:14 PM
Man, all you people who don't like turkey need to cook better.

Red Hedgehog
11-04-2015, 03:18 PM
It is only the useless, tasteless, awful turkey that reliably comes out tasting like an unmixed bag of Portland cement.

I'm sorry you can't cook turkey.

Granted, if you aren't required to cook it, I can understand not making the attempt to learn since, while I'll defend its texture/moisture, it's still probably the least tasty of the major food fowl.

Torzelbaum
11-04-2015, 04:48 PM
Turkey is just the medium, because people would feel guilty about drinking gravy from a glass.Speak for yourself. *chugs some red eye*

muteKi
11-05-2015, 01:12 AM
In (some) defense of turkey, the conventional wisdom of roasting the bird for X minutes per pound will dry out the bird like no one's business. And if you want in-bird stuffing, you probably do need to follow those directions so you don't give everyone salmonella.

In-bird stuffing should not be considered fit for human consumption

MetManMas
11-05-2015, 01:32 AM
At this point, fucking everything will kill me. So screw it.

Yeah, everything we eat is killing us in one way or another so I'm not gonna worry about it. Not that I'm eating as much red meat as I used to, anyway; been mainly partaking in chicken as of late.

In (some) defense of turkey, the conventional wisdom of roasting the bird for X minutes per pound will dry out the bird like no one's business. And if you want in-bird stuffing, you probably do need to follow those directions so you don't give everyone salmonella.

Following modern chefs' advice for turkey cooking times (or just using a meat thermometer) will give you a vastly better product as will brining, spatch-cocking, and/or deep-frying.

Damn straight. If your dead bird tastes like crap, you're cooking it wrong. Or whoever's cooking it is cooking it wrong.

Red Hedgehog
11-05-2015, 05:21 AM
In-bird stuffing should not be considered fit for human consumption

What?!? Now this, I'll strongly disagree with. In-bird stuffing is delicious and almost always the best part of Thanksgiving dinner. Of course it also means that dinner will feature a too-dry bird.

Dadgum Roi
11-05-2015, 05:47 AM
Damn straight. If your dead bird tastes like crap, you're cooking it wrong. Or whoever's cooking it is cooking it wrong.

No. I know how to cook other poultry, including some that are smaller and harder to cook than turkey. Turkey sucks and our tradition of eating it comes from a bunch of humorless religious fanatics.

Ample Vigour
11-05-2015, 06:44 AM
Someone needs to roll up their sleeves and try a Thompson's Turkey (articles.chicagotribune.com/2002-11-13/entertainment/0211130299_1_turkey-morton-thompson-bread-crumbs) this year.

Positronic Brain
11-05-2015, 07:24 AM
Isn't the tradition that pilgrims ate turkey because it was the only wild bird they could catch? No wonder they don't taste so good =/

I'm not a fan of turkey. Only my mom likes it, which is the only reason why we have a small dish of turkey at Christmas - in my family we've always celebrated with chicken and ham. Much tastier!

Sven
11-05-2015, 08:26 AM
We have an entire thread of Turkey-related angst, including Alton Brown's foolproof recipe.

(Although, again, you can't mix that and in-bird stuffing. The temperatures just aren't compatible. As AB said - STUFFING IS EVIL... for the turkey.)

Ample Vigour
11-05-2015, 10:48 AM
Cooking stuffing in its own pan means more surface area for browning anyway. Come on, people

Torzelbaum
11-05-2015, 04:11 PM
I wonder if turkery breeders have been breeding animal with less fat like what happened with pork.

Our bizarre desire for repulsive titanic amounts of white meat probably doesn't help. (Per my understanding the turkeys we raise have such large breasts they can't even procreate normally. Breeders have to rely on artificial insemination.)

Red Hedgehog
11-05-2015, 09:31 PM
We have an entire thread of Turkey-related angst, including Alton Brown's foolproof recipe.

(Although, again, you can't mix that and in-bird stuffing. The temperatures just aren't compatible. As AB said - STUFFING IS EVIL... for the turkey.)

He actually later changed his tune after experimenting with how to make in-bird stuffing work. It still isn't perfect, but it maximizes flavor of turkey and stuffing.

Cooking stuffing in its own pan means more surface area for browning anyway. Come on, people

Yes, but mixing the bird drippings with pan stuffing still doesn't give it quite the flavor of in-bird stuffing. You'd probably have to let it soak in the for a half hour before cooking. Hmm... a new experiment for Thanksgiving this year.

Nodal
11-06-2015, 03:25 AM
Ironically since as far as I know my family all likes turkey, we cook veal.

taosterman
11-06-2015, 05:05 AM
I've never really understood stuffing and always considered it a weird pseudo-food that contains elements of the other food already on the table.

Ample Vigour
11-06-2015, 06:51 AM
I wonder if turkery breeders have been breeding animal with less fat like what happened with pork.

Our bizarre desire for repulsive titanic amounts of white meat probably doesn't help. (Per my understanding the turkeys we raise have such large breasts they can't even procreate normally. Breeders have to rely on artificial insemination.)

Simple geometry should teach us that a spherical bird is inefficient - too much volume and too little surface area. The idea shape for edible fowl is a bipedal pizza.

Sir Sly Ry
11-13-2015, 11:56 AM
Wild turkeys can fuck AND fly.

Think about that for a moment.

Zef
11-13-2015, 12:21 PM
What...

At the same time?

Paul le Fou
11-14-2015, 05:16 PM
Do not underestimate a wild turkey.

Dadgum Roi
11-14-2015, 05:18 PM
Wild turkeys can fuck AND fly.

Think about that for a moment.


You'd be able to do that too if you were made entirely out of Wild Turkey.

muteKi
11-19-2015, 04:45 PM
wild turkey gives you wings