Ebony and Ivory: FF1 in Black & White!

A year ago someone made a topic over in Television Games to discuss our favorite FF1 parties. Being an FF1 guru of some renown I had a lot to say in that topic, and it inspired me to replay the game with a party picked out by you guys. Eventually that gave way to the entire Let's Play forum and since then we've had dozens of LPs of all kinds of games in many different styles by many different people.

To celebrate one year of awesome LPs here at Talking Time, I'm delighted to present...


That's right, in this topic you lucky, lucky people get TWO FF1 solos for the price of one! I'll be taking the helm of a lone black mage (Bl.MAGE) who will face off against the venerable McDohl, who will be piloting a solitary white mage (Wh.MAGE).

Years ago a spunky Bl.MAGE named DOUG and a fiesty Wh.MAGE named KATE were among the first initiates into the FF1 Solo Club, an elite band of IRC chatters who were bad enough dudes to thwomp CHAOS with but a single party member. In the years since McDohl and I have honed our FF1 skills to a razor-sharp edge. The competition will be fierce and the shit-talking is expected to reach ridonkulous levels. We're both in it to win it and we're all outta gum.

So what's it gonna be, loyal readers? Black or White? Staff or Hammer? NUKE or FADE? Straw hat or red-trimmed robe? Pick a side and cheer us on!

(Also each of our mages will be needing names. Four letter max, and tradition dictates they be in ALL CAPS. Also each mage will be dragging around three corpses for the entire game, so feel free to suggest jobs/names for them as well.)

I suggest your name your Bl.MAGE LOSE, because that's exactly what he's going to do.

Name the Black Mage Orko.

Oh shi-

BURN 'n' HEAL, if you'd please. I think I'll remain neutral for now, at least until there's a decisive winner in this hoedown of a showdown.

Oh yeah? Well you should name your Wh.MAGE SKUB, because he's already got a lot of experience sucking!

I have the urge to flip a light switch on and off rapidly while yelling "Fight fight fight fight!"

Black Mage = JOCK
White Mage = ROCK

MCCN

OBMA

Whoops, changed my mind. It has to be LOSE and SKUB.

What are the ground rules? Are there going to be job upgrades from Bahamut?

McDohl gonna beat you so ugly.

So ugly.

THIS!

IKA

RUGA

If we're going for this, then Brickroad should have for corpse names HLRY, JOHN, and DNIS, and I should have MIKE, MITT, and RON.

Damn, Zef's is really good too.

Oh, and just to raise the stakes, the loser should have to complete a THIEF solo and document their suffering in brief for the forum. I wanna see some bloodshed, people!

Man, I don't even know what I want for names anymore. I really like IKA and RUGA, though.

But anyway, I'm a White Mage fan myself. And really like Zef's.

Bl Mage: Orko
Wh Mage: Poop

Come on guys, mage relations have taken a dramatic turn ever since the late 80s. We saw Tellah die in '91, and saw magic given to all individuals (who had the appropriate magicite) in '94.

Since then there has been a long history of white magic and black magic getting together. Sometimes it's resulted in the two mixing, such as into grey magic (again, magicite), or celebrating greater diversity by defining themselves not based on the colour of their users robes, but instead on whether they manipulated time, or maybe we'll call it "arcane." I guess.

So lets celebrate magical DIVERSITY.

I say the White Mage should be called WASP, for representing the beauty of an insect that can both fly gracefully through the air and murder other insects with deadly precision, and the Black Mage should be called AFRO, a combination of those letters symbolizing those whose life has been lost because of the bitter divide that we cannot conquer without love: (A)erith, (F)usuya, members of the (R)onso tribe, and Dr. (O)dine.

(no I am NOT stretching!)

- Eddie

I barely post here at TT anymore, despite having a Timer writing for me now. So let that work towards emphasizing this following point:

Dearest McDohl,

Enjoy your boring fucking game, you RUSEing motherfucker.

Yours forever,
Austin

EDIT: McDohl did some sad faced type emoticons, even though I promised that I'd be his for eternity. So yeah, here's my official endorsement: White Mage rah rah rah, White Mage plft.

BLM: CHMP
WHM: KING (yes, I know they both suck)

Sorry, Brick, but McDohl's gonna take your ass, all the way.

White Mage? What's he gonna do, heal the monsters to death? Why don't you name him GAND(hi) and have him go on hunger strike until Chaos agrees to disrupt his time loop.

No sir, I'm in the Black corner all the way. You should name him MAX, for James Clerk Maxwell, the master of electrodynamics. You should also make him learn every LIT spell in the game.

As for the corpses in your parties, they should all be named after famous, dead RPG characters: AERI, GREM, LEO, GALF, CRON, AURN, TELL, etc.

Say, how is the winner of this little kerfuffle going to be decided, anyway?

I like LOSE and SKUB! I'll be cheering for LOSE of couse as I've always had a soft spot for Black Mages...

random tangent: What's the comic strip that uses FF pixel art to tell a terrible story in which BM is incredibly evil and Fighter is a moron?

8-Bit Theater. It's been stuck near the end for months.

Mike, spoilerz

That was it thanks!

Oh for corpses you should have 3 white mages, and of course McDohl should have 3 black mages

Do you remember where you were when Tellah died on that fateful day?

Anyway, I suggest naming the white mage LADY (I know it is supposed to be a boy, but I honestly can't make the mental switch).

IKA and RUGA

Also this.

Or vice-versa, they could each be the last surviving members of exploratory expeditions from the kindgoms of Bl. and Wh., carrying the corpses of their fallen comrades with them for a proper burial upon their eventual return.

If we're going to go with those, can we change IKA to IKE?

No, it should stay IKA. The thought of a squid attacking Kraken (if he gets that far) is mildly humorous.

Yeah, how will you decide this?

QFT

Black Mage all the way, until I find what they're competing in.

OBMA

MCCN