The Return of Talking Time

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  #31  
Old 12-12-2009, 06:43 PM
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Mein Gott in Himmel, I have been craving a thread like this. So, through the maaaaaaagic of random selection, this is what we are doing...

Free refills of PUNCH! Let's (briefly) Play... Kung-Fu!



Kung-Fu is the courageous story of Tom; a Kung-Fu master whos girlfriend was kidnapped by the darkest of forces; his doppelganger; Mr. X. Is Mr. X Toms clone? Evil Twin Brother? The darkness in his heart made flesh?



No idea, but the answer is to come after five floors of PUNCHING! So Tom sets out, with a whole damn WORLD of faces to punch.



Tom doesn't exclusively Punch Faces, however. Though that is his specialty. Here, for instance, he is kicking the necks of purple and blue gentlemen.



But to prove I am not a liar, here's Tom Punching Faces of the purple guys. He earns TWICE AS MANY points for delivering some justice courtesy of chin-music.



But the Blue and Purple men are crafty foes for Tom; attacking from both sides in varying quantities. Here, one of his foes proves that he is beyond the shame of any yellow-hearted scoundral, and strikes back at Tom the only way he can; by tenaciously grabbing his groin, thereby preventing him from being able to excercise his medical practice of delivering medicine by Throat-Kick Injection! While struggling to fight off the conga-line of Purple and Blue Men, another despicable fiend arises and tosses a knife at Toms head; murdering him.



Tom is dead, but his brother, Tom-Tom is not. He learned at a young age how to dodge thrown knives. The Knife-Throwing Man is unprepared for such a tactic, and quickly succumbs to his own bout of Kung-Fu to the upper body. Giving Tom-Tom ONE THOUSAND points.



A short ways down the hall, Tom-Tom encounters the guardian of the first floor: Club-Man. But sadly, the combination of a Knife-Thrower, Purple and Blue Men and Club-Man overpower him, and he too dies.



Fortunately, the eldest of the threen Tom Brothers was nearby and picks up the fight against the heartless Club-Man. Though Club-Mans skill with a cudgel is prodigious, his swings are slow, and poorly aimed, wheras Tom-Tom-Toms body is a perfectly honed killing machine.



Club-Man stood no chance, and perished under Tom-Tom-Toms furious assault. Leaving the path to the next floor open.



Floor two had Tom-Tom-Toms ultimate challenge; yellow orbs that rain from the heavens. Tom-Tom-Tom defended this land, from all things dark and cruel. Now? He is defenseless-



-IN A LAND WHERE DRAGONS RULE!



Then a snake fell out of a pot, ran into Tom-Tom-Toms legs, killing him. Sorry Toms girlfriend, looks like you're going to be tied to that chair for a while.

THANKS FOR READING!
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  #32  
Old 12-12-2009, 07:04 PM
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BEST LP EVAR.

This thread is so full of win it hurts.
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  #33  
Old 12-12-2009, 07:20 PM
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This is the greatest idea ever. Awesome LP.
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  #34  
Old 12-13-2009, 05:32 PM
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Last time, on They Are Co Oh right, wrong thread.

Anyway, to mark my first Microgame, I decided to do a quick run of a game very near and dear to my heart. A game that has taught me everything I know about surviving in the wilderness.

This is why I tried to kill everyone as soon as I could on this run. And hey, who knows, if this goes well, there may be other adventures. Join me, as myself and a group of carefully selected suckers experience…



This American Life/Death on the Oregon Trail



Look at that title screen. Majestic mountains, oxen, women with guns… This is ‘merica, boys and girls. This is ‘merica.



And here we have our list of travelers! First and foremost is me, I’ll be your captain this evening. I like warmth, safety, and good ole’ city stuff. This is exactly why I am climbing into a wagon and heading into the wilderness, dontchaknow.

I’m joined by Alice and Bob. They and a couple of friends are having an experiement! If Alice and Bob get on a wagon train headed west, how long until they decide that they don’t really want to go west? The answer may shock and surprise you!

Foo is really in this whole westward expansion for the money. He also wants to set up a bar in the Oregon county, to make sure the inhabitants get the proper amount of liquids. Clearly, nothing will go wrong while he’s here.

And finally, Charlie’s a rebel, a horse without a cause. He’s largely along to act as a bard, having claimed that he knows a song that with no end. We will put this claim to the test, I assure you.



So uh, yeah. We’re leaving in May! Because that’s the only month that had a vote. Honestly, I like leaving later, but hey, why not switch things up?



And here’s our pithy supply list! We don’t need food, clearly. However, we always want all the bullets and ox. The oxen are for when we run their friends to death, and the bullets are for obliterating the native species of the plains. Bollocks to them. If they wanted to live, they should have invented guns.

And thumbs.

The spare parts are actually just a holdover from my olden days. I would always break one of the pieces, but since I never had any spares, I would be delayed for entirely too long. And thus, I buy up their entire supply. I’m a banker, so I have money to burn.



May 1, 1848. A date that will live in infamy. Let’s manifest some destiny out there.



After futzing with a couple of settings, obviously.

The first setting, speed, is probably the most important choice one can make in the game. As much as I really wish I could discuss any of the other options, Grueling and Bare-bones meals are my bread and butter on normal games. Grueling will get you there all the faster, and bare-bones allows you to conserve food, so you don’t have to hunt very often.

The downside to this, however, is that you’re more susceptible to disease and other problems. On the other hand, is it really a game of Oregon Trail if at least one person doesn’t get dysentery or a snake bite?

No, no it is not.



Of course, as soon as we set out, Alice and Bob lead us into fog. Stupid Alice and Bob. They’ll get theirs.



Ah, the Kansas River Crossing, the first major turning point of the game. As with the rest of the river crossing, you have four options. You can…









Right, so, as I was saying, there’s only really one option for crossing rivers. Fording. Running straight forward into the river is the only way to prove that you are a bad enough dude to tame the wilderness.

If you wanted to pussy out and consider “safe|” options, then fording is really only a safe bet for rivers under six feet deep. Anything above and your best bet is taking a ferry. Or caulking the wagon, if you’re poor. Of course, I also sometimes play a variant where I caulk and float on rivers below six feet deep and ford everything above.

I have won more games this way than I honestly should have. So let’s see what the consequences of my hubris are this time!
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  #35  
Old 12-13-2009, 05:34 PM
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Nooooo! 10 oxen! However will we make up for this tragic loss? We also lost most of our bullets, three sets of our clothes, all our spare wheels, and one of the tongues we had in storage. And Alice and Bob decided to see who could drown first. In the end, the winner is truly the viewer.



Well, that’s tragic, but it’s not like we’ll ever see this message again. Ever.



I believe this is self-explanatory.



Of course, as it turns out, Alice and Bob aren’t the root of all our exploratory problems. It seems that song Charlie purported to never end really doesn’t end, much to the party’s chagrin. It seems we wandered off the trail for a bit trying not to listen to that obnoxious horse.

Damn puppets. Who gave them their rights, huh?



And here’s our second river! As you can see, the Big Blue isn’t quite as bad as the first river, but I think we really need to play it safe and-




Luckily, nothing of importance was lost. Though I am shocked. I’ve waded through higher and lost nothing. Tragic.



Hunting! Squirrels are hard to hit. Deer are easy! No buffalo yet.



Here we are, 12 days in, and we’re already a quarter of the way through. Truly, grueling is the “Win” button.



Welcome to Fort Kearney! You can buy things. We won’t, because we will live off the land and we have no need for modern amenities! Like clothes. Or bullets.



And somewhere along the way, Foo picked up typhoid fever. Is this the end for our intrepid explorer? Is this the end of Foo’s Bar!?



I really like Independence Rock’s picture. It’s pretty cool. Foo is still sick and everyone’s doing fairly poorly.



Another travel update! Most of the way through May, and we’re about half-way through the trail. See how quickly this goes? We even have a lot of food. Amazing!



It seems that Foo kicked typhoid fever in the neck and got better. Clearly the river gods made the right decision in taking Alice and Bob rather than Foo. Thank you river gods!
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  #36  
Old 12-13-2009, 05:36 PM
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Ah, here we are, the Green River crossing. Now, as you can see by the 40 foot depth, the only reasonable course of action is





Luckily, we’ve come back from worse. After Green River, our party train heads to-



Oh. Well then.





Hey guys, I could use a bail out! Get it, I-

I’m being told that’s a terrible pun. I apologize.

So it turns out that you can make it more than half-way through the game by just rushing forward without rhyme or reason! And if you leave later in the year, you can actually win by fording!

That being said, this was fairly fun for a first microgame. Tune in next time for another game from another person!
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  #37  
Old 12-13-2009, 05:37 PM
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This is riveting.

I am riveted!
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  #38  
Old 12-13-2009, 05:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Octopus Prime View Post
This is riveting.

I am riveted!
Could you spare a few rivets? My jeans could use a few.

But yeah, this thread was a great idea. Everyone's keeping well within the 2-week timeframe so far, too.
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  #39  
Old 12-13-2009, 06:06 PM
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so you don’t have to hunt very often.
What the hell is wrong with you??

The Ford references were hilarious.
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  #40  
Old 12-13-2009, 06:10 PM
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HEY!

Who want's to learn some math?



Some DONKEY KONG JUNIOR MATH!

I went for Calculate A, since... well... I have no idea about any aspect of this game besides the fact that it is an edutainment game based on Donkey Kong Jr.



Okay, seems like I control DK Jr. there in the lower-left corner, and regular Donkey Kong is holding up a sign that says + 86. There's also a pink Donkey Kong Jr. in the other corner of the screen, who I guess Player 2 is supposed to control. Presumably, the objective is to use to use the Numbers and Math Symbols to get the total that DOnkey Kong is holding up?



Junior takes to math like few other jungle-apes would, and promptly heads up the chain that has a 4 on it. What could he be planning, in that clever-little-brain of his?



OH! He's going for the 3! Maybe he's trying to write out 43, via numbers suspended over an abyss!



Oh no! Donkey Kong Junior skipped the number 3! Now how is he going to make a 43? Silly Monkey!



I... don't... quite know what happened here in the meantime. Donkey Kong Juniors total suddenly went up to 72. I think it's a Christmas Miracle!



Donkey Kong Junior hops onto the + sign and then heads to the 9! Why, a 72 and a 9... that makes 81! Junior is almost there! Go Junior!



He did it! All he has to do is add 5, and he wins! Hooray for Math!



And that... is it. 81 + 5 = 86. And when this dread equation is solved, the Pink Donkey Kong Junior dies on the spot. No Christmas Cheer in the Pink Donkey Kong house this year; their Holiday is marred... by death.

Thanks for letting me teach you math, talking time!
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  #41  
Old 12-13-2009, 07:30 PM
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I love this thread.
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  #42  
Old 12-13-2009, 07:41 PM
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One of my biggest regrets about selling my GC copy of Animal Crossing is that I could no longer play Donkey Kong Jr. Math.

That's not a joke. I loved sitting down to play a few rounds, and when I could actually get someone to play with me I would be ecstatic.
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  #43  
Old 12-13-2009, 08:21 PM
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Hey guys, I could use a bail out! Get it, I-

I’m being told that’s a terrible pun. I apologize.
This seriously made my day. Bravo!
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  #44  
Old 12-13-2009, 08:25 PM
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I remember the tombstones causing so much fuss for my class on the Oregon Trail. First of all, there's the obvious pizza jokes (I remember our version actually asking "What do you want on your tombstone). Then there was the problem of people naming their group leaders after unpopular kids, and then writing horrible things about them after they died. And then, of course, there were the kids that just named themselves stuff like Penis.

Of course, the real fun came much later when someone else would come across a random grave on their trip down the trail and find these interesting memorials. Ah, good times in the computer lab.

If you revisit this again later, I want a better explanation about the jobs than what I gleamed as a second grader. I remember Bankers have money but are shitty at anything physical, not that it matters if you buy enough oxen. That's about it.
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  #45  
Old 12-14-2009, 09:38 AM
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That's the fancy updated Oregon Trail. Back in my day, we played the Apple IIe version and we liked it (or at least pretended to)! It was inevitable we ended up playing the game even as late as middle school, seeing as this is Oregon.

Back then, there were only three careers (Banker, Carpenter, Farmer), and the only difference was your starting funds. Well, and how highly you were ranked when you finally got to Oregon (farmers got an insane multiplier since they were so hard to play as). Nobody ever played as anything but a banker.
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  #46  
Old 12-21-2009, 09:37 PM
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Is there anywhere to actually get that version of the Oregon Trail any more? That's the one I have nostalgia for.
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  #47  
Old 12-22-2009, 11:31 AM
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That's a very good question that I'm not fully at liberty to disclose. I know the Apple II version is online on a browser based emulator of sorts, and I know my copy was obtained from a friend. Who himself obtained it elsewhere.

Amazon says you can pick up a used copy for $5 and a new copy for $15! The more you know, I suppose.
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  #48  
Old 12-22-2009, 12:33 PM
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I can't figure out which version it is. I never realized there were so many. Judging by your price point though, it's the Classic Edition, which labels itself for dos. Which is kinda confounding since you (and others in searches) are very clearly running it in Windows and not some sort of emulator.

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  #49  
Old 12-23-2009, 10:34 AM
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The classic Apple IIe version got ported to pretty much every O/S imaginable at the time (Amiga, Tandy, DOS, even the first version of MacOS for those little box-computer Macintoshes all the schools had in the 90s). So yeah, you can get the classic version for an O/S besides Apple IIe.
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  #50  
Old 12-26-2009, 11:48 AM
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Alrighty then, as threatened earlier, I'm going to be dipping my toes tentatively in the LP waters with a micro-LP of a short but intriguing little exploration game. This will be five our so updates, but I've already got most of the screens I need, so we should be able to blow through it in a few days.

Let's micro-Play...:





(Yeah, I like the effect of the background scrolling behind the title, so you get three shots. That BG actually doesn't appear elsewhere in the game, which may or may not be relevant to the "plot", such as it is.

As soon as you start, you get one of only two lines of text in the game, so pay attention now…



So. With no further introduction, we find ourselves here:



The res stick with a pink head is us. The reason for the extreme pixelation will become apparent shortly. The only controls available to us are left, right, and jump. That's how we'll explore, and exploring is really all there is to do. So let's get to it.



A quick walk shows we're inside a solid transparent dome. Oh, I should mention the music, because it's great. In this first area, we have a somber ambient tune a bit reminiscent of one of the quieter areas of an early Metroid game. Perhaps we're on a space station or abandoned planet just like Samus? Let's head down that access tunnel and see what we can find out.



By now you can see the major mechanic of the game: as you explore, everything in the vicinity of the character is revealed, and the view smoothly zooms out to accommodate everything you've seen so far. The play-field and the "map" are the same thing. You also get the feeling of gradually revealing a large work of art (mores on some of the later levels), which is pretty cool.

Anyway, there appears to be a network of passages down here. To the left we see a ventilation shaft, maybe? But it's much to high to tall to jump up so right is our only option.



More shafts this way. The red light there blinks and the yellow conduits glow dimly, suggesting some power running, but things seem to be in a bit of disrepair...



…a feeling further emphasized by the feebly blinking lights in the rooms below and more jumbled passageways. Moving on.



The way further in to the right is blocked by debris (our avatar seems unwilling or unable to duck or crawl in furtherance of his or her explorations), but we find a ladder or stairwell leading back up over to the left, so we'll try that route.



We find ourselves back at our starting position, but outside the dome. Those antennae are in the background, so we can proceed to the right…



This ledge is a dead-end, but we can climb back up and into the broken dome we passed by to reach another section of the interior corridors. The device that looks like an elevator near the top-right is non-functional (not surprising given the state of this place, I guess), but we can climb down the shaft below it on our own.



We proceed through what might be an empty conference room, pas some more severely damaged corridors, and end up down here near the bottom of what increasingly looks like a decrepit floating station or satellite. There are several passages branching off here, but they're all short, so I'll just show them all at once:



And that's the whole station. The four tubes are pulsing gently; if I learned anything from playing Megaman, those are four teleporters, probably each leading to other places… other worlds? Maybe other times even? One way to find out.

So now we have choices. I can tell you that the top two paths (green and red) are smaller, and the bottom ones are larger worlds. We could do them in that order. You can also make arguments about potential chronological progression; blue-red-white-green might make sense. But so much is left up to the viewer in this game that any such interpretation is extremely subjective, you one could make equally good cases for other orders.

So, anyone got a preference? Let me know. We'll go down one of the rabbit-holes starting tomorrow. (Or should I give it a few days since everyone's out for the holidays? Well, the order's not a big deal anyway.)
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  #51  
Old 12-26-2009, 12:11 PM
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So, anyone got a preference? Let me know. We'll go down one of the rabbit-holes starting tomorrow. (Or should I give it a few days since everyone's out for the holidays? Well, the order's not a big deal anyway.)

I don't care which order we do them in. In fact I'd like a link to this game!
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  #52  
Old 12-26-2009, 01:32 PM
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Oh! Sorry, I meant to put that in but forgot:

Small Worlds

Honestly, it can be completed in under 10 minutes. I'm just LP-ing it because I think it's pretty and kind of intriguing.
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  #53  
Old 12-26-2009, 02:20 PM
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Honestly, it can be completed in under 10 minutes. I'm just LP-ing it because I think it's pretty and kind of intriguing.
Which is exactly why I want to try it! Thanks!
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  #54  
Old 12-27-2009, 06:15 AM
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Ok, I didn't actually expect a lot of response right after xmas, which is fine. But I had some free time last night and went ahead and wrote up the two shorter levels, so I'm'a go ahead and post 'em:


As I mentioned, the top two worlds are fairly small, so we'll start with one of them. Into the green transporter we go!



It deposits us here. On a rock. The music here is peaceful, but with a hint of menace creeping in.



Time to get explorin', I guess. Going right a bit shows we can move across a lower level of rocks placed close enough together that we can't get below them.



Further right and we start to see we're at the bottom of a curved open area.



From several places, we can hop upward from rock to rock, revealing that there seems to be a light emanating from above.



We can climb up the sides pretty far, though you have to be careful with your jumps on the uneven terrain. If you happen to fall it doesn't take too long to work your way back up, however.



From over here, we can see an animated pulse coming from somewhere just above and to our right. Working our way up there…



…we find the source is a bright blue dot. Touching it will end the "level", but first let's look at what we've uncovered for a moment. Something certainly seems to have blown apart. A disaster, frozen in time? We don't really have much to go on yet. Anyway, when we leap at the blue dot we find ourselves taken back to the station.



As you can see, the green transporter has gone dim - there's no going back once we've collected the blue… power source? If you look down at the center bottom, you can see one of four empty spaces there filled in by the blinking light we collected. Video game logic clearly dictates what we'll be doing from this point on…
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  #55  
Old 12-27-2009, 06:16 AM
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that world was pretty short and straightforward, so let's do another right now. Red transporter ho!



Well, this is… blueish. The music this time is delicate but melancholy.



Attempting to go up the passage we find ourselves in, it soon becomes too steep to advance, so we'll have to go down for the moment.



We hit the bottom of a curve and head up again. Interestingly, the slight glow you see in that shot looks like the pulse from another power source… apparently we've gone right under it already.



The terrain soon turns from nondescript to unsettling. Are these… horns we're climbing on? Up and around is the only way to go. Hopefully whatever these are or were attached to isn't hungry.



Things don't get any less creepy as we continue over the top and find a way back towards the center in our quest for the blue dot.



Whatever this is, it doesn't seem to be alive… anymore.



It's not really clear what sort of alien creature this was, but it doesn't seem to have died peacefully. Regardless, we've found what we came for. Let's getting the heck out of here, shall we?



As expected, the red tube falls silent and we have another power cube stores at the station's foot. Next time we'll tackle a small world that's a little bit bigger.
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  #56  
Old 12-27-2009, 08:58 PM
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I played through the game thanks to this LP. At one point, I was very much reminded of World of Goo for some reason. I quickly realized why, too: it shares some music with that game for at least one of the stages.
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  #57  
Old 12-28-2009, 12:28 PM
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So into the blue portal we go.



Note that the blue and green pixels here in the starting shot are animated; the blue looks to be water flowing downward. Hard to tell quite where we are at this zoom level, though. The music here is classical and sedate, but takes on a bit of a dirge-like quality as it progresses.



Walking right, we can see that we seem to be in some sort of city. Let's fill it out some more.



This place doesn't look so bad. Well, the green sludge spilling out of the skyscraper on the left doesn't look terribly healthy, but everything else seems to be doing pretty well. The only way to go from here is over the ledge at the far right, and then down.



...which lets us explore the city's rather extensive sewer system, I guess. THe hole we're standing next to looks like a one-way ticket, so we'll see what's to the left first.



Just more sewers. I wonder how they're dealing with that green sludge problem over there?



Oh.... oh dear. This doesn't look like such a good idea. That vertical chain of buckets on the right is constantly in motion, and I don't like the look of where it's going.



We can ride the buckets up, which lets us confirm our fears. Yup, this place is being watered by its own sewage. Yum yum. I think it's time to blow this popsicle stand before wading through any more questionable liquids.



Fortunately what we came for is just a short trip down the other side of the "Water tower". (For the curious, no, you can't get over the right-hand tower, though I could have filled in a few more pixels up there with a more daring jump from the top. The bottom-right corner is actually unreachable due to the water buckets catching you as you pass.)

Anyway, that's three blue cubes down and one to go. We've almost reached our goal... whatever it might be.
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Old 12-30-2009, 12:44 PM
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Another day, another world. One portal left, so into the white we go...



Looks like we're starting off in a cave this time, though there seem to be some animated pixels below us. The music is delicate and sort of... wintry?



Oh look, it's snowing! How pretty.



That pointy ledge on the left is just a couple pixels to high to jump onto, so our only choice here is a leap of faith to the right. Fortunately, nothing kills you in this game, so leaping it is.



This world is awfully peacful. Note also that we can see the pulse of our blue cube above us, but knowing how these things go I'm sure we'll be taking the long way around to get to it. Down further into the caves is the way forward.



A roundabout path leads us through some icier caves...



...and then some sort of ruined facility. Hard to tell what it is from here, so we'll just continue down and around counterclockwise.



We eventually make it to a more intact room, which looks like it contains a large map. Some points are picked out in blinking dots.



From there we reach the other side of the first large structure where... oh dear, what is that there?



Those... I think I know what those are. And I'm getting the distinct feeling that this "winter" isn't quite as idyllic as it first appeared. This may be yet another place that's not terribly healthy to hang around.
(As a side note, the missiles are one of very few foreground objects in the game, as you can see our hero ducking behind the larger one here.)



And that's it for the fourth and final world, where things once again seem to be going badly for all involved. We snatch our cube and get out.

So, what do you do with four glowing blue cubes?
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  #59  
Old 12-30-2009, 01:04 PM
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McClain McClain is offline
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This game unnerved me in a way I didn't fully understand when I first played it. Seeing the worlds laid out in screenshot form (with apt description) is helping better paint the picture.

I forget how this one ends. I'm guessing "not well."
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  #60  
Old 12-30-2009, 01:22 PM
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Kirin Kirin is offline
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Oh, what the hey, let's finish this off.

Time to say our farewells to the Small Worlds...



Here we sit with our four power cubes at the bottom of our small, lonely station. I missed getting a brief shot of a blast just above our head, and then...



... we begin to fall away.



That station recedes in the distance as we fall and the camera zoom keeps pace. But where are we going?



...oh.



Well then.

I guess that takes care of the noise problem.
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