The Return of Talking Time

Go Back   The Return of Talking Time > Talking about media > Talking about meatspace games

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 09-20-2015, 02:04 AM
Loki's Avatar
Loki Loki is offline
#deadfish2017
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 14,470
Default Burning with ANTCIPATION - Best 50 NES Games



You did it. You sent your lists, nominated your favorite old video games good and bad. Now you have to deal with the consequences. I hope you're sorry.

Let's not waste time, here are your favorite NES games.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 09-20-2015, 02:15 AM
Loki's Avatar
Loki Loki is offline
#deadfish2017
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 14,470
Default


51 points

We start things off with a literal slap the face. Somehow, the Mega Man game everyone hates squeaked its way into the number 50 spot. This is the game where Mega Man fights a choo-choo train. Innovation? NONE. Gameplay? SUBPAR. Good graphics? HARDLY.

This. This is what you've wrought. Look at the wasteland you cultivated and despair. Anyway, here's 20 minutes of Charge Man's Theme.


Last edited by Loki; 09-20-2015 at 02:34 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 09-20-2015, 02:21 AM
Loki's Avatar
Loki Loki is offline
#deadfish2017
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 14,470
Default


52 points

This is that one game where pressing down kills you. Level 4 is significantly easier than level 1. If you look at a certain bad guy you might as well hit reset. I'd say this kind of design is archaic but the new KidIc requires you to break your hand in 6 places to play it so there you go.

On the other hand this game also gave us Saturday morning's greatest villain so maybe #49 is too low.


Last edited by Loki; 09-20-2015 at 04:51 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 09-20-2015, 02:25 AM
Loki's Avatar
Loki Loki is offline
#deadfish2017
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 14,470
Default


53 points

I thought everyone agreed this game was a turd? I think the AVGN said something to that effect. Do you like Zelda II, but wish it was even more obtuse and clunky? Well have I got a game for you!

This game is cool because you can walk on the celling sometimes.

Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 09-20-2015, 02:32 AM
Loki's Avatar
Loki Loki is offline
#deadfish2017
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 14,470
Default


56 points

Ninja Gaiden 3 is a weird duck. It's not much like Ninja Gaiden 1 or 2. Because no NES kid bought a game when they could rent, the English version was made about a billion-zillion times more difficult. I've never seen past level 2, personally. But you get to slice up robots with a dragon sword and that's enough to make up for any faults.

I don't remember the exact plot, but doesn't it have to do with an evil Ryu going around robing banks or something?

Last edited by Loki; 09-20-2015 at 04:53 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 09-20-2015, 02:42 AM
Loki's Avatar
Loki Loki is offline
#deadfish2017
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 14,470
Default


56 points

I was just kidding about those other games being bad. I have a great fondness for both MM5 and KidIc. But this? This? I donno maybe it's good but you see, back in the 90s the Ninja Turtles were this super popular thing. Slap a Ninja Turtle on a yo-yo and you would have one sold yo-yo is what I'm saying.

TMNT 1 is like this yo-yo. It doesn't go up and down very well, and most of the time the string tangles, but by god it sure does have a Ninja Turtle on it.

This game was a mystery to me as a child. Why were there guys on fire and living legs chasing you around? Why did people say the Dam level was so hard when it wasn't? Why was throwing grappling hooks between buildings so cool? It was like the most cool thing. I looked at that image of a grappling hook in a Nintendo Power or something and man was it cool. I looked at it so much.

Here's a tip to help you beat the game. Use Donatello to beat Rocksteady without getting hurt. This is the only possible way to beat him.

Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 09-20-2015, 02:47 AM
Falselogic's Avatar
Falselogic Falselogic is offline
Threadcromantosaurus Rex
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: California
Posts: 29,889
Default

0 for 0!
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 09-20-2015, 03:13 AM
Johnny Unusual's Avatar
Johnny Unusual Johnny Unusual is offline
Man of Tomorrow Afternoon
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Fredericton, New Brunswick
Posts: 4,650
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Loki View Post

52 points

Maybe it was an intentional goof, but I think you meant



Though King Hippo's disguise is nearly flawless. Also, those nipples are... someone character designed that.

I remember either (somehow) owning Battle for Olympus or renting it. I think it was the former, but I can't imagine why. I don't think my parents bought it for me (though they did know I was big into Greek mythology). I just remember getting stuck at a certain point and not being able to progress farther.

I don't remember much about Megaman V so I can't vouch for its quality, but I'd say Choo-Choo Man is no less ridiculous than a lot of the villains. He fought a giant robot cat that coughed up lethal hairballs.

I'll also admit to liking the first Ninja Turtles, though it didn't make my list.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 09-20-2015, 03:27 AM
Johnny Unusual's Avatar
Johnny Unusual Johnny Unusual is offline
Man of Tomorrow Afternoon
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Fredericton, New Brunswick
Posts: 4,650
Default

And now, the original commercials for the winners so far (if available).





Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 09-20-2015, 06:09 AM
Karzac's Avatar
Karzac Karzac is online now
Dinger!
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 10,443
Default

Oh man, I had no idea this was going to be "Loki insults everyone's favourite NES games". I'm way more interested now.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 09-20-2015, 09:13 AM
JBear's Avatar
JBear JBear is offline
Bertolli?!?...
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Fredericton, NB, Canada
Posts: 9,732
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Loki
Burning with ANTCIPATION
Don't toy with my emotions.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Loki View Post
Slap a Ninja Turtle on a yo-yo and you would have one sold yo-yo is what I'm saying.
I... I had a Ninja Turtles yo-yo.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Karzac View Post
Oh man, I had no idea this was going to be "Loki insults everyone's favourite NES games". I'm way more interested now.
Same. These are delightful.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 09-20-2015, 09:41 AM
Johnny Unusual's Avatar
Johnny Unusual Johnny Unusual is offline
Man of Tomorrow Afternoon
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Fredericton, New Brunswick
Posts: 4,650
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by JBear View Post
I... I had a Ninja Turtles yo-yo.

It's a quality product.

Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 09-20-2015, 11:54 AM
Balrog's Avatar
Balrog Balrog is offline
Hungry in Dungeon
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 13,117
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Falselogic View Post
0 for 0!
Same here. I shudder to think what the rest of the list looks like.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 09-20-2015, 02:00 PM
Kirin's Avatar
Kirin Kirin is online now
Not a Beer
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: NC
Posts: 19,482
Default

One for me!

...TMNT was my #25.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 09-20-2015, 02:18 PM
Octopus Prime's Avatar
Octopus Prime Octopus Prime is online now
Mystery Contraption
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: The Great White North
Posts: 42,233
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Karzac View Post
Oh man, I had no idea this was going to be "Loki insults everyone's favourite NES games". I'm way more interested now.
I am genuinely surprised that anyone could expect otherwise.

I'm at 0/25 so far, but that's because everything I backed easily exudes too much class to be down here with the dregs.
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 09-20-2015, 02:30 PM
Torzelbaum's Avatar
Torzelbaum Torzelbaum is offline
????? LV 13 HP 292/
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Central Illinois
Posts: 10,040
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Loki View Post
Here's a tip to help you beat the game. Use Donatello to beat Rocksteady without getting hurt. This is the only possible way to beat him.

It's not the only possible way to beat him. You could just tank the damage and switch between turtles when the current one's life meter gets too low.

But it is the easiest and smartest (and cheapest*) way to beat him.

*Which is just how the game likes to fight - so why shouldn't you?
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 09-20-2015, 02:36 PM
Beta Metroid's Avatar
Beta Metroid Beta Metroid is online now
Here Comes the Sun
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1,006
Default

Just Ninja Gaiden 3 so far, but it's a game I'm proud to help onto the list.
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 09-20-2015, 06:13 PM
Taeryn's Avatar
Taeryn Taeryn is offline
-ryn
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: The Old Dominion
Posts: 2,448
Default

yes, I voted for TMNT 1. I never even questioned why I was fighting fire-guys and frog-guys. Don was the strongest turtle, therefore it was a good game.

Except for the one tile wide gap right against the ceiling.

Whatever... I'm going to go listen to "Ninja Rap" and play with my Leonardo yo-yo.
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 09-20-2015, 06:49 PM
Rascally Badger's Avatar
Rascally Badger Rascally Badger is online now
This Guy
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Hell, Earth
Posts: 8,956
Default

Mega Man 5 was the last gmae on my list, I like that it is the last game on the big list too.
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 09-20-2015, 07:09 PM
JBear's Avatar
JBear JBear is offline
Bertolli?!?...
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Fredericton, NB, Canada
Posts: 9,732
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Octopus Prime View Post
I'm at 0/25 so far, but that's because everything I backed easily exudes too much class to be down here with the dregs.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Loki View Post
#65 - Ufouria
Reply With Quote
  #21  
Old 09-20-2015, 09:46 PM
Sanagi's Avatar
Sanagi Sanagi is offline
who's she
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: fairbanks, alaska
Posts: 10,678
Default

-The count so far-
Bad games: 3
Decent but unmemorable sequels: 2
Reply With Quote
  #22  
Old 09-20-2015, 10:15 PM
q 3's Avatar
q 3 q 3 is offline
Nothing is more powerful
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,849
Default

The real secret is there actually aren't 50 good NES games.
Reply With Quote
  #23  
Old 09-20-2015, 10:16 PM
Loki's Avatar
Loki Loki is offline
#deadfish2017
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 14,470
Default

Oh there totally are. They're just further down on the list is all.
Reply With Quote
  #24  
Old 09-20-2015, 10:18 PM
Falselogic's Avatar
Falselogic Falselogic is offline
Threadcromantosaurus Rex
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: California
Posts: 29,889
Default

For every terrible NES game you guys got on this list one of the treasures on my list was pushed out.

PHILISTINES!
Reply With Quote
  #25  
Old 09-20-2015, 11:08 PM
Loki's Avatar
Loki Loki is offline
#deadfish2017
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 14,470
Default


57 points

This is that hockey game where you can pick from a fat dude or a skinny dude or a worthless middle dude. Just like in real life. If you want to win every time go all fat. Or all skinny. I forget which. The point is you gotta min/max. Anyway people say this game is fun but here's the thing: you get in a fight and your dudes just clump together and then one ends in the penalty box. Other NES Hockey Sim Blades of Steel than ended up way further down on the list?



I think we all know who the winner is here.
Reply With Quote
  #26  
Old 09-20-2015, 11:17 PM
Loki's Avatar
Loki Loki is offline
#deadfish2017
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 14,470
Default


62 points

Someone at Complie had a bad idea: take two bad genres, do them half assed, slap them together, give it to Brøderbund to stick in a bad box, and you've got yourself a classic. People like to pretend Guardian Legend is good so they have felt like they've discovered a lost gem. Also for having a sexy strong female protagonist but Metroid did it first and now who's the one headlining the Smash fights I ask you.

I mean look at this what is even going on here? I don't know but I got a sinking suspicion it's anime.


Last edited by Loki; 11-23-2016 at 07:59 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #27  
Old 09-20-2015, 11:25 PM
Loki's Avatar
Loki Loki is offline
#deadfish2017
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 14,470
Default


63 points

Metal Gear used to be cool but then Kojima went nuts and put a sex octopus in his gross game and you kill her and then you make her do a sex dance. Now you can tie a balloon to a bear's ass and I don't even know what's what anymore.

Metal Gear 1 invented hop-into-the-menu-every-20-seconds-to-switch-keycards gameplay and everyone was like oh Kojima-san you are an auteur and that's why this game is on the list.

Reply With Quote
  #28  
Old 09-20-2015, 11:34 PM
Loki's Avatar
Loki Loki is offline
#deadfish2017
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 14,470
Default


64 points

MM5 is the game everyone dislikes, but MM4 is the one they should really hate. How do you go from 3 to this? The rot set in and that's why today you have pachinko machines about erotic vampires.

This game couldn't even make a robot mummy cool which has to be some new level of impossibility.


Last edited by Loki; 11-23-2016 at 07:58 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #29  
Old 09-20-2015, 11:40 PM
Loki's Avatar
Loki Loki is offline
#deadfish2017
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 14,470
Default


66 points

Now we're talking. Here's a game that knows how to make a mummy cool: give it spiders! Ninja Gaiden 2 took everything right and good about NjnGai 1 and gave it an extra ghost ninja hologram. This game is a 100% fun and it even has a naked gross guy who can't be killed with a magic sword so use a cutscene bullet!

Reply With Quote
  #30  
Old 09-20-2015, 11:57 PM
Adam's Avatar
Adam Adam is offline
the :motion: stands
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: CA
Posts: 7,454
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Karzac View Post
Oh man, I had no idea this was going to be "Loki insults everyone's favourite NES games". I'm way more interested now.
curtis armstrong is a national treasure
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
747 , anticipation anticipation , bad games , games of debated quality , good games , nes , nestalgia , nostalgia , peanuts minutiae , southern cross , top 50 countdown

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:36 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Your posts ©you, 2007