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View Full Version : If only I had WonkaVision!


mablem8
06-21-2010, 06:18 AM
Sometimes, the imagination can dream up foods that exceed anything real life has to offer:

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4024/4715112990_8a37e1ce53_b.jpg

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4050/4714479041_9895e4e2c9_b.jpg

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4033/4714485097_0f6bed6e9f_b.jpg

Other times, the mind invents tastes, textures, and aromas that are nothing like the real life analogues.

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4025/4715126936_7752879ac7.jpghttp://farm5.static.flickr.com/4069/4714486293_e7684f489c.jpghttp://farm5.static.flickr.com/4017/4715128118_5c56f78faf.jpg

That tastes nothing like honey! It has more of a sublime tang to it. There is almost an undertone of citrus, without the sharp scent. Instead, there is something of a cool, soft sweetness wafting from the amber liquid, a nectar that refuses to overwhelm.

Cartoon pizza always gets me. Look at that cheese! Thick, drippy cheese is always awful in real life. But in animation…

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4054/4714488073_68f7d18587_b.jpghttp://farm5.static.flickr.com/4031/4715130744_303c5f6120.jpg
http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4053/4715129942_3c46231f1f.jpghttp://farm5.static.flickr.com/4072/4714487335_f776b82f14.jpg

Yum! Okay, maybe not that last one, but stills from The Weekenders are hard to find. (Thanks to DemoWeasel (http://www.gamespite.net/talkingtime/showpost.php?p=779253&postcount=5476) for the Goofy Movie still.)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles manages to invent another food that tastes completely different on-screen that it does in real life:

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4070/4714489827_75c4567711.jpghttp://farm5.static.flickr.com/4069/4714490391_54d21112e5.jpg
http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4050/4714491173_0f8e0cb049.jpghttp://farm5.static.flickr.com/4054/4715133346_50abe03a7a.jpg

Maybe it's the way those guys gum it, but I don't imagine those things tasting remotely like doughnuts.

Generally, food in books fails to impress me; I guess the visual representation builds the imagined taste for me. My high school chemistry book actually ruined my vision of plum pudding. Plum pudding sounds like a bread pudding, which I've always idealized as a sort of sweet stuffing. The dessert sounds like it should be a moist, sugary bread that needs to be spooned out of a bowl. For plum pudding, I imagined small, pitted plum halves imbedded throughout that had all but dissolved in the baking process, nearly fusing with the pudding around it. Then I see this picture illustrating Thompson's model of the atom:

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4064/4715133896_c168edeebd.jpg

It's just an English version of the fruit cake! I like my plum pudding better…

Even so, there is one author that has a sort of magic when it comes to culinary prose. J.K. Rowling fills her world with savory delights.

Harry's mouth fell open. The dishes in front of him were now piled with food. He had never seen so many things he liked to eat on one table: roast beef, roast chicken, pork chops and lamb chops, sausages, bacon and steak, boiled potatoes, roast potatoes, fries, Yorkshire pudding, peas, carrots, gravy, ketchup, and, for some strange reason, peppermint humbugs.
[…]
A moment later the desserts appeared. Blocks of ice cream in every flavor you could think of, apple pies, treacle tarts, chocolate eclairs and jam doughnuts, trifle, strawberries, Jell-O, rice pudding…

And of course, there's Honeydukes:
There were shelves upon shelves of the most succulent-looking sweets imaginable. Creamy chunks of nougat, shimmering pink squares of coconut ice, fat, honey-colored toffees; hundreds of different kinds of chocolate in neat rows; there was a large barrel of Every Flavor Beans, and another of Fizzing Whizbees, the levitating sherbet balls that Ron had mentioned…

Interestingly, Rowling spends little prose describing the food. Instead, she seems to leave much to the imagination of the readers. The names seem to convey the kernel of the victual; even though I can't recall a passage explicitly defining how butterbeer tastes, I feel like I know exactly what it would feel like sliding down my throat.

So how about it, Talking Time? What imaginary foods strike your fancy?

Kishi
06-21-2010, 07:42 AM
Mablem has a 5 gig folder of drippy cartoon pizzas.

Loki
06-21-2010, 08:00 AM
I've always loved drippy cartoon pizzas too. They always look like the cheese is going to slide right off and take all the toppings with it. Why is something that would be so horrible to actually experience so appealing?

Butterbeer! The name is so evocative. Everyone already KNOWS what it tastes like even though the damn stuff doesn't exist. I've read the stuff they concocted for The Wizarding World of Harry Potter is "just perfect" and "tastes like liquid butterscotch." What?! Blegh! To me, butterbeer has always had a rich buttery quality, but without the associated ickyness that would come with if you melted a stick of butter and drank it or anything. Light and smooth, but complex, with a hint of cloves.

Paul le Fou
06-21-2010, 08:23 AM
The Redwall series always made me REALLY hungry. Jacques always went into near pornographic detail talking about the feasts they would eat, and even though it was a lot of watercress salad and oat cakes I always wanted some. I think he even wrote a cookbook of recipes from Redwall books? Or was it like a joke? I can't remember. But yeah, Redwall food.

Kishi
06-21-2010, 08:40 AM
Actor-poet Michael Showalter is the most impassioned person I know to describe food, to the point that becomes a punchline. Look up his album Sandwiches & Cats.

From "Erotica":

My team and I are in Bermuda, deep sea fishing. If all goes well, we'll be heading back to the dock with crates of booty—filled with blue lobster, freshwater Harrison squid, barrels of Pederson shrimp, forkfish, and kelp.

[...]

As it turns out, I've been in a coma for weeks, and I'm starving. Luckily for me, Edgar's brought with him a few sandwiches: beef Bologna, Bibb lettuce, Colby cheese, and a bit of mustard on seven-grain whole wheat bread. Nothing fancy, just a good old-fashioned sandwich. He's also got tuna sandwiches—just straight-up tuna sandwich, on wheat, no tomato, no lettuce. Just tuna sandwich on wheat.


From "The Mountain":

The executives from Patagonia treated us to a large breakfast and spared no expense: warm, buttery biscuits; flavorful, hearty turkey apple sausage; rich blueberry pancakes; all-you-can-eat scrambled eggs; and a cup of coffee.

[...]

Off in the distance, a low rumbling could be heard as another member of our team, Sir Ian Hackley, was cooking breakfast for our crew: stacks of Julienned potato fritters, custards in every flavor, vibrant rainbow-covered tarts. The next thing I know, I'm in a hospital listening to a reporter from ESPN the Magazine telling me what had happened that fateful day on top of the mountain. Then a candy striper with legs as long as Kareem Abdul-Jabbar's pajama bottoms enters my room carrying a tray of food: steaming hot chicken cutlets, drowning in spaghetti sauce next to small sections of vegetables—corn, carrots, and peas among them; two pieces of bread, on the side—one wheat, one pumpernickel. A brownie. A walnut brownie. Fudgey, sweet...but vegan.


From "Lake Wasood":

Early a.m. wake-up call to the raspy corn-fed warbling of a red-cackled Finean rooster. The heavy aroma of hickory-smoked Tuscan pork, smelting on a cast-iron skillet in Aunt Gabriella's country kitchen. Piping hot Texan muffins. Piles upon piles of rich Pederson home fries. Crumbly pickled yams and Sicilian grapes of every color. Oh! And Anderson Walker's corn fritters, in S gravy boats filled with honey fresh off the comb. Blood-red turpentine grapefruit carved into bite-size morsels in bowls of cereal, brimming with milk from the bosom of Ulysses, the two-tone Brahmen bull who grazes east of Eden in the pasture by Lake Wasood, where we will soon be fishing for yellow-speckled trout. Coffee made from every bean known to man—brewing, boiling, gurgling, percolating, bubbling, beckoning me to its hickory-dickory smoke...


A lot of it comes through in the performance, but you can get the idea. And this is to say nothing of "Sandwich Commandments."

Loki
06-21-2010, 09:38 AM
This scene for Micky's Christmas Carol has always made my mouth water.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IW6c4a3kL7c (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IW6c4a3kL7c#t=6m16s)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v44/Loki213/xmascarol03.jpg

shivam
06-21-2010, 09:47 AM
The Redwall series always made me REALLY hungry. Jacques always went into near pornographic detail talking about the feasts they would eat, and even though it was a lot of watercress salad and oat cakes I always wanted some. I think he even wrote a cookbook of recipes from Redwall books? Or was it like a joke? I can't remember. But yeah, Redwall food.

oh my god, yes. I have never wanted a strawberry cordial and cheese wheel studded with nuts and shit so badly in my life.

his food descriptions are what kept me going well past the sell by date of that series.

Calorie Mate
06-21-2010, 11:13 AM
I kind of feel like even Tolkien did that, though. There's something about long, epic journies that make writers want to describe food in luscious detail. (It probably helps you sympathize with the protagonists' hunger later on.)


Also, I don't have photos at the moment, but I officially nominate Ratatouille as the best at this, because ratatouille itself isn't all that great. (It makes all the food in that movie look mouth watering, though.)

mablem8
06-21-2010, 11:36 AM
But yeah, Redwall food.

Reading Redwall lead me to wonder what "vittles" meant, which in turn resulted in me discovering the word "victuals" and its meaning. There really aren't very many general synonyms for "food;" most of them are appropriate only in a limited range of situations.

Dawnswalker
06-21-2010, 02:22 PM
The Redwall series always made me REALLY hungry. Jacques always went into near pornographic detail talking about the feasts they would eat, and even though it was a lot of watercress salad and oat cakes I always wanted some. I think he even wrote a cookbook of recipes from Redwall books? Or was it like a joke? I can't remember. But yeah, Redwall food.

oh my god, yes. I have never wanted a strawberry cordial and cheese wheel studded with nuts and shit so badly in my life.

his food descriptions are what kept me going well past the sell by date of that series.

Reading Redwall lead me to wonder what "vittles" meant, which in turn resulted in me discovering the word "victuals" and its meaning. There really aren't very many general synonyms for "food;" most of them are appropriate only in a limited range of situations.

Yeah, Redwall books are basically Food Porn for Kids.

I once read a satire in which Brian Jacques was interviewed, and he served the interviewer something that he insisted was called "October Ale, with miniature clotted cream cakes."

aka. Bud Light and Twinkies.

Wolfgang
06-21-2010, 03:22 PM
I always imagined Pooh's hunny tasted more like caramel. Big pots of warm, molten caramel? Yes plz.

locit
06-21-2010, 04:18 PM
The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe is notable for me because it described a real sugary sweet in such glowing terms that I thought it was fictional until I went to England and actually saw some: Turkish Delight. It was incredibly delicious, and actually lived up to Lewis's portrayal. Think of how rich fudge is, but instead of a chocolatey flavour at the root imagine fruits of every variety swirling in a sugary mix that is almost too sweet to handle. I haven't had candy as good as that to this day.

Daikaiju
06-21-2010, 05:19 PM
English authors ROCK at descibing food. Narnia, HP, Redwall, parts of Discworld all whetted my appetite.

BTW? Butterbeer (http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/333367/harry_potter_top_10_butterbeer_recipes.html)

Nodal
06-21-2010, 05:29 PM
The Redwall series always made me REALLY hungry. Jacques always went into near pornographic detail talking about the feasts they would eat, and even though it was a lot of watercress salad and oat cakes I always wanted some. I think he even wrote a cookbook of recipes from Redwall books? Or was it like a joke? I can't remember. But yeah, Redwall food.

This so hard. Why yes I would like some of that fish even though I generally dislike seafood thank you.

Daikaiju
06-21-2010, 05:35 PM
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/a/ae/Redwall_Cookbook.jpg

You can get it here (http://www.amazon.com/Redwall-Cookbook-Companion-Books/dp/0399237917)

No candied nut recipe though. Bugger.

Violentvixen
06-21-2010, 07:33 PM
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/a/ae/Redwall_Cookbook.jpg

You can get it here (http://www.amazon.com/Redwall-Cookbook-Companion-Books/dp/0399237917)

No candied nut recipe though. Bugger.

WANT.

Candied nuts are just roasted nuts in syrup, though, right?

Daikaiju
06-21-2010, 07:41 PM
From the description I think they're hazelnuts, roasted and given a glazed sugar coating. Some characters carry small sacks of them.

Sheana
06-21-2010, 07:51 PM
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/a/ae/Redwall_Cookbook.jpg

You can get it here (http://www.amazon.com/Redwall-Cookbook-Companion-Books/dp/0399237917)

No candied nut recipe though. Bugger.

I've always wanted to get that! Still will, some day. The Redwall series isn't quite what it used to be, but I loved those books hardcore as a kid and always enjoyed the food descriptions and wondered what they'd be like in real life.

mopinks
06-21-2010, 08:00 PM
CARTOON MEAT (BONE-IN) (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v73/ranchuu/5d36c89c1d1585a434966adaa014dd79.jpg)

mablem8
06-21-2010, 08:11 PM
Re: Butterbeer

Rowling's take on the drink (http://hollywoodcrush.mtv.com/2010/01/29/wizarding-world-of-harry-potter-park-butterbeer-will-be-sold-but-will-it-be-alcoholic/)

and

A Wizarding World review (http://www.mugglenet.com/ericwwfoodreview.shtml)

Kate or Die!
06-26-2010, 03:58 PM
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs was a pretty delicious movie. Do not watch while hungry.

dtsund
06-26-2010, 04:19 PM
English authors ROCK at descibing food. Narnia, HP, Redwall, parts of Discworld all whetted my appetite.

Which... which parts? Not, not, not Nanny Ogg's secret recipes, I hope?

Sheana
06-26-2010, 04:47 PM
Which... which parts? Not, not, not Nanny Ogg's secret recipes, I hope?

http://www.coverbrowser.com/image/bestselling-sci-fi-fantasy-2007/2857-1.jpg

Parish
06-26-2010, 06:00 PM
I have that cookbook! Never tried any of the recipes, though.

MAYBE I SHOULD.

dtsund
06-26-2010, 06:01 PM
I have that cookbook! Never tried any of the recipes, though.

MAYBE I SHOULD.

I vote for Bloody Stupid Johnson's pie.

Torgo
06-26-2010, 11:35 PM
WANT.

Candied nuts are just roasted nuts in syrup, though, right?
Yep.

CANDIED NUTS:
- Simple Syrup (equal parts water and sugar heated until completely dissolved)
- Salt
- Pepper
- Cayenne pepper
- Nut of your choice

1. Heat up your oven. 300 or 350 should do.
2. Toss the nuts in some syrup until they are thoroughly coated (having extra syrup pooled at the bottom is a-ok!)
2. Season with salt, pepper, and a bit of cayenne. Toss again
3. Stick 'em on a non-stick mat (a silpat is best), and drizzle the extra (or more) syrup on top.
4. Roast 'em until golden brown and ect. I can't give a hard time, since the size of nut and oven temp can change roasting time dramatically. You'll know they're done if they don't stick to each other and clump when they cool. Make sure to get them off the mat while they're still hot though, or they'll stick!
5. Try not to eat them all. They're great on a salad if they last long enough to make it into one.

Sorry for the lack of specifics. Candied nuts is always something I just eyeball each time I do it, but this basic recipe has never steered me wrong.

Merus
06-27-2010, 01:36 AM
I vote for Bloody Stupid Johnson's pie.
It's a surprisingly delicious hamburger.

ArugulaZ
06-27-2010, 02:12 AM
English authors ROCK at descibing food.

And yet they can't seem to get the hang of making it! :D

Sorry, easy "British food is bad" joke.

What was the "roast beast" in the old Seuss story How the Grinch Stole Christmas? Was it beef, wildebeest, or what? It's just one of those mysteries that may never be solved.

You know who I always thought made food look pretty good? Video game developers from the late 1980s and early 1990s. The roasts on a bone in Final Fight looked so big, meaty, and satisfying that you don't mind that they came from a garbage can. There was another fighting game from Capcom, Battle Circuit I think, where the food items were so huge that you had to consume them bite by bite. That's really handy for the bosses, which could empty your life bar as quickly as you could fill it!

I wonder how food in Bubble Bobble tastes? Probably more pronounced than real food, yet more airy too.

Lobst
06-27-2010, 02:50 AM
When I was a kid I desperately wanted to hold a steaming hot spit-roasted wild boar carcass, glistening and dripping with whatever sweet, tangy orange glaze the Gauls applied to it as it cooked, and take big bites out of it like a chicken drumstick, in the style of Obelix from the Asterix comics -- presumably with raging bonfires, acoustic music, storytelling, and dancing going on as the sun sets in the background.

I told this to my dad, who gently reminded me that pork products were forbidden in our household. ;__;

Sheana
06-27-2010, 03:07 AM
candied nuts recipe

Huh, really, that's how they're done? In my mind they were always nuts that had been soaked in honey and then left to crystallize. I think I like my Wonkavision version better!

mablem8
07-06-2010, 06:42 AM
Apparently, chocolate cake tastes much better in the Matrix:

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4142/4767176207_cfecae1bf4_b.jpg

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4096/4767816376_308d68b5f1_b.jpg

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4075/4767183455_1bb84d4005_b.jpg

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4139/4767822208_013188338c_b.jpg

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4117/4767183687_9fcedb5b89_b.jpg

Somehow, though, I can't imagine this kind of cake having quite the same effect on a man.

ArugulaZ
07-06-2010, 10:48 AM
When I was a kid I desperately wanted to hold a steaming hot spit-roasted wild boar carcass, glistening and dripping with whatever sweet, tangy orange glaze the Gauls applied to it as it cooked, and take big bites out of it like a chicken drumstick, in the style of Obelix from the Asterix comics -- presumably with raging bonfires, acoustic music, storytelling, and dancing going on as the sun sets in the background.

I told this to my dad, who gently reminded me that pork products were forbidden in our household. ;__;

Ironic that you're not even kosher yourself.

"It's SO unfair!"
"Tell me about it." (oink)

Googleshng
07-06-2010, 01:20 PM
So... why is this thread not full of Odin Sphere/Murasame screens?

ArugulaZ
07-06-2010, 04:20 PM
Because they'd need to be animated for the full effect. I've never seen the act of digestion rendered so lovingly.