View Full Version : The girl in the skull bikini pouts, save vs. falling in love! (Glistening Chests)

05-07-2011, 08:18 PM
OK, since enough people are interested that I'm apparently really running this thing, here's a quick rundown of how this deplorable barbarian RPG here (http://www.world-domination-llc.com/games/partyrpgs/glisteningchests.shtml) actually works.

There's big burly dudes who are dumb as bricks, sneaky girls in skimpy costumes, evil magic people, hordes of generic goons, and monsters. Mostly, we're concerned with the burly dudes and sneaky girls as they're the two PC classes. Each has their own list of 20 really specific skills, which pretty much always get used in opposed checks by rolling a bunch of D6s, and counting how many roll a 4 or higher. You can get a bonus to any skill check if your description of what you're doing is embarrassingly cheesy. Dignity is not your friend in this game.

Skills are divided into 4 categories with 5 skills each. Like it says in the hacked out character creation rules here (http://www.kekkai.org/google/glistening-chests-quick-char-gen.pdf), you prioritize categories with various amounts of points to dump into the skills within. The top priority's skills are going to be scraping up against the starting character ceiling all over, while the lowest priority is going to end up with at least 2 skills with no ranks. You actually are allowed to make checks with those using only cheesy-description dice for what it's worth. The other significance to these skill categories is that each one comes with its own flavor of EXP, which rolls in fast enough for mid-session skill gains to be a thing if people can be bothered to track it. So... if you suddenly realize you really should have put more points in a given skill, use it and related skills a lot, and you can get an extra point or two to pop into it.

A better mechanical idea on what these skills all actually do:

VIRILITY- Basically, these are the Charisma type skills for guys.

Broad Chest- Spend a round flexing at some girl and there's a chance she'll develop an instant crush and quit trying to kill you. That thread title? Yeah that's seriously a thing that happens here.
Fearlessness- Resist being momentarily stunned when some big monster appears.
Intimidating Stature- You open a door, there's a big wad of goons, you growl or cut one in half, a bunch run away.
Proud Name- Shouldn't come up this being a one-shot, but if, say, some Foul Sorceress in disguise seduces you (or vice-versa) to get some kind of prophecy-linked heir to continue their evil ways, this is the skill to have them grow up to be a properly righteous Mighty Warrior instead.
Unbounded Masculinity- For most characters this never comes up, but if you, oh... really make a reputation for yourself as that dude who keeps seducing Evil Wizards' female generals in skull bikinis and actually having to make Proud Name checks, and someone hits you with a sex change curse as the only way to keep your libido from ruining their plans, it's character crippling insurance.

WARRIOR'S CODE- Killing stuff mainly.

Brute Strength- Moving big heavy things and grappling.
Improvisation- Armed combat. Doesn't really matter what you're armed with. Super good for mowing down goons.
Know Evil- Kinda like Sense Motive, but instead of your character being able to pick up tells that aren't obvious to you the player, it's for coming to in-character realizations about things that are painfully obvious OOC. Because you're a big dumb barbarian who is really easily fooled.
Mighty Fists- Unarmed combat.
Mighty Weapon- You have some awesome sword or whatever you got from your dad/found in a cave/etc. This isn't the skill for killing stuff with it, that's Improvization. This is the skill where you burn a rank to give it some cheesy deus ex machina power like nullifying a spell or totally not bouncing off that monster's scales or whatever.

DIVINE PROVIDENCE- Mostly deus ex machina cheese.

Birth Right- Basically just to brag about awesome ancestors. Crank it up to 10 and it turns out you're actually the rightful heir to some massive kingdom. And yes, since everyone can eventually max this skill out, that DOES mean that every PC is secretly rightful heir to some massive kingdom, they just haven't come across enough exposition to realize it yet.
Born Leader- Tell that big horde of slaves to rise up against their evil master.
Rare Breed- Deus ex machina cheese to declare that barbarians from the southern plains like you are totally immune to fangorious sky viper venom and such.
Favored by the Gods- Get GM hints if stuck.
Slayer of Evil- Call dibs on killing things, and prevents the GM from saying "oh they were just really really hurt and nursed themselves back to health after you left."

Endurance- Totally ignore any ill effects from...

Fierce Flowing Blood- ... poison.
Ignore Discomfort- ... starvation, or sleep deprivation.
Shrug Off Blows- ... being attacked.
Stand Proud- ... Evil Wizards going all "KNEEL BEFORE ME!"
Withstand the Elements- ... walking around in a loincloth during a blizzard.

Meanwhile, if you're a girl, your skill names are all stuff you get when 15 year olds run their big serious fantasy story/fanfic through a thesaurus trying to sound extra smart and failing miserably:

LITHENESS- Physical Skills

Baleful Accouterments- Armed combat, but not particularly good for mowing down mooks.
Elusive Suppleness- Wriggle free when pinned down or tied up.
Funambulistic Poise- Gymnasic/Prince of Persia type stuff.
Lissome Rampancy- Unarmed combat, which really sucks, unless fighting another girl, where it's actually really great for tearing up each other's clothes, because this game is about horrible tropes like that.
Sinuous Clamber- This is my hole! It was made for me! ... to squeeze through.

FEMININE WILES- Bein' all duplicitous and sneaky!

Beguiling Parlance- Sweet talk the guard, get him to open the cell, the bonk him over the head and steal his keys. Or just convincingly lie to guys in general.
Enticing Beseechment- "Hey, could you bring me a drink/toss me that spare sword/have sex with me off camera there and totally betray your ideals for me?"
Ferine Supplication- Tame and then command some form of animal friend.
Pretentious Raiment- Disguise yourself as one of those evil cultists, or that guard you just knocked out and stole keys from.
Preternatural Accordance- Work out how the Evil Wizard's scepter works so you can uncurse people before smashing it.

COMELINESS- Being all totally hot and such.

Bewitching Delicacy- This is the skill the girl in the title quote just used.
Generous Endowments- In addition to being a a direct numerical value for the hugeness of your tracts of land, it's how many rounds guys are stunned for if a mid-combat wardrobe malfunction should occur... which is really only useful if there's some other girls in the party, otherwise it's just "everyone stands there slackjawed for 5 rounds, then remembers what they were doing."
Mollifying Exquisiteness- Guys get a skill to ignore pain. Girls get a skill to be so good looking people can't help but pull punches or not even attack to begin with.
Muliebral Legacy- This is the female equivalent of that Proud Name thing, and really unless you're going for some kind of like, long running, generation spanning campaign, I can't think of any reason for a PC to ever put a single rank in it that isn't super creepy.
Prepotent Ascendancy- This is exactly the same thing as the Birth Right skill except it has a way goofier name.

BRAZENNESS- Defensive/moxie-having/not-being-a-wimp skills.

Abstemious Virtue- Save against falling in love.
Delicate Perceptivity- Get GM hints, but not dumb ol' "where should I go next again?" hints. Awesome ones like "The wine glass closer to you is the one with the sleep potion in it."
Forbear Ensorcelment- Save vs. mind effecting magic basically.
Imperturbable Hauteur- Save vs. losing turns being squicked out by slimy gross things and bugs.
Indecorate Mettle- Best skill in the game. Max it. The more ranks in this you have, the less clothing you feel the need to wear. Female characters never actually take damage from anything, they just get their clothes torn up until they're too embarrassed to do anything. Skimpier outfits are less likely to be hit by attacks. Fully maxed out (that is, well above starting character values), you can run around in just one of those horrible metal bikini deals at which point you're just practically straight-up invincible.

And really... that's pretty much all you need to know as a player. Most of the actual rulebook is explaining all of the above with more hard rules and math and such, and several pages apologizing for having made this horrible sleazy sexist game, tongue-in-cheek or otherwise. Plus NPCs and spells and stats for monsters and articles of clothing and all that.

05-07-2011, 08:34 PM
/double facepalm

Also, this sound hilariously uncomfortable to actually play, especially if you're That Guy.

05-07-2011, 09:20 PM
That's what makes it fun! Although, if I recall, there's a note in there somewhere specifying not to let That Guy play (or to force That Guy to play the other gender, depending on which flavor of That Guy we're talking about). When everyone's mortified it's great, but if one person's Way Too Into It, that'd just be wrong.

05-07-2011, 09:25 PM
I would totally play an old barbarian with Proud Name just so I'd have a story excuse to bring in his son from a previous "indiscretion" as a replacement character if the old man died.

Or just for reinforcements!

05-07-2011, 10:26 PM
... or as one of the other PCs, for even more incentive for constant attempted one-upping of each other!

Also, did I forget to mention the bit where, mechanically speaking, PCs flat out can't be killed? A Mighty Warrior who racks up 10 wounds ends up just kinda winded and has to catch his breath on the floor, and Warrior Women just reach a point where they've taken too much clothing damage and have to drop everything to cover themselves. If the whole party is incapacitated in this fashion, they're tied up, carted off to the villain of the week's dungeon, where they respectively have time to catch a second wind/are given replacement clothes (because that's just the classy thing to do)... at which point they can easily break out and proceed right along to a big ol' epic confrontation.

Presumably, this could get convoluted if TPKs keep happening, and you just hit a point where it's like "And this time, lock them in the really really REALLY secure cells until the ritual is complete!" but the general juvenile power fantasy theme of the whole thing pretty strongly encourages big epic final showdowns to always pan out.

Worst I ever saw was running a 1 PC adventure as an experiment where said only PC ended up falling in love with the villain of the week. This is why single-sex parties are officially disallowed normally.

05-13-2011, 08:50 PM
Character Creation Time! It's pretty simple and doesn't require any dice. Just open up a little text file/PM to me/reply to this thread/whatever and copy down one of those two lists of skills upthread. Which one depends on your gender. We have 4 confirmed players, all of whom apparently would prefer to be Mighty Warriors. At least one person really should go Warrior Woman though, because otherwise I'm basically just demoing half the game here and all. So... we're pretty much going to do this first come first serve. If three people have already made guys by the time you're seeing this and tossing a character my way, make a girl. Simple enough. And oh, if more people are hopping in at the last minute? 5th person- Make another girl. 6th, another guy. 7th... uh... pester me to run this again because I don't really want to deal with more than 6 people.

So anyway, after getting that determined, you rank your 4 skill categories (Virility, Warrior's Code, Divine Providence, Endurance for guys, Litheness, Feminine Wiles, Comeliness, Brazenness for girls). Priority A gets 20 points, priority B gets 12, priority C gets 6, priority D gets 3. No more than 5 points in any one skill. Obviously you don't have to put any points in a given skill because there's not enough points in your D ranked category to do it even if you wanted to.

Then you can wrap it all up with a name and some sort of cheesy barbarian background. You end up with something like this:

Gar the Mighty
Born in the frozen north and orphaned when the Foul Sorceror Zygoth sent his minions to raid his village, Gar spend his childhood fighting to the death in the Blood Pits of Margax. Now having earned his freedom, he seeks vengeance!

Broad Chest 0
Fearlessness 2
Intimidating Stature 1
Proud Name 0
Unbounded Masculinity 0

Brute Strength 5
Improvisation 5
Know Evil 2
Mighty Fists 5
Mighty Weapon 3

Birth Right 0
Born Leader 2
Rare Breed 1
Favored by the Gods 0
Slayer of Evil 3

Fierce Flowing Blood 0
Ignore Discomfort 1
Shrug Off Blows 5
Stand Proud 3
Withstand the Elements 3

And tada. Throw the result at me via PM or just go right ahead and post it here... which would actually make that whole race-to-not-play-the-token-girl thing a whole lot easier to keep track of. Not like there's any reason to keep your skill distribution a secret or anything.

05-13-2011, 09:21 PM
Well, if no one's doing it, I'll be the token clothing-loser. I was conflicted, because I usually play virile but wily men, so it was hard to choose whether big dumb virile man or wily woman was more different from what I'm usually doing in RPGs.

As for coming up with a character, I'll do that as soon as I've gotten in my turn for TI.

05-13-2011, 09:41 PM
Actually, this is more fun than TI.

Lira the Bronzed
The daughter of the Vile Conjurer Dorath, Lira one day befriended a stoat who had somehow come to the lands near her father’s keep. From the stoat’s presence she realized that there must be other non-undead people out there in the world somewhere and set out to find them, hoping to discover a way to bring life back to Dorath’s lands whether he will or nil.

Baleful Accouterments- 0
Elusive Suppleness- 2
Funambulistic Poise- 2
Lissome Rampancy- 0
Sinuous Clamber- 2

Beguiling Parlance- 5
Enticing Beseechment- 3
Ferine Supplication- 4
Pretentious Raiment- 3
Preternatural Accordance- 5

Bewitching Delicacy- 0
Generous Endowments- 0
Mollifying Exquisiteness- 3
Muliebral Legacy- 0
Prepotent Ascendancy- 0

Abstemious 1
Delicate Perceptivity- 2
Forbear Ensorcelment- 2
Imperturbable Hauteur- 2
Indecorate Mettle- 5

You are wearing a FANCY DRESS- It has a secureness of 3, 5 max rips, and is hit on a 44 or higher.

Notable Skill Ranks: Brute Strength (0),
Know Evil (4), Fierce Flowing Blood (0),
Shrug Off Blows (2), Stand Proud (0),
Elusive Suppleness (5), Funambulistic Poise (3)

Natural Weaponry: Claws and Fangs (2)
Vileness: 0
Max Wounds: 5

05-13-2011, 10:16 PM
Let's see if I got this right (and it isn't too blah a background)...

Tharn the Fifthborn
Fifth son of a barbarian chief from the far west, Tharn knew that it would be unlikely that he would ever inherit, either by enough siblings dying, or by treachery from his younger ones, so he set out as a warrior, to seek his own destiny.

Broad Chest 0
Fearlessness 1
Intimidating Stature 2
Proud Name 0
Unbounded Masculinity 0

Brute Strength 0
Improvisation 5
Know Evil 2
Mighty Fists 2
Mighty Weapon 3

Birth Right 5
Born Leader 5
Rare Breed 5
Favored by the Gods 2
Slayer of Evil 3

Fierce Flowing Blood 0
Ignore Discomfort 0
Shrug Off Blows 3
Stand Proud 3
Withstand the Elements 0

Kind of a leader-ish sort of character, made him fifth born so I wouldn't have any real starting advantages, besides a name, so hopefully that's okay.

05-14-2011, 01:21 AM
Those are both fine, and there's no such thing as having too blah a background. Making it ultra-generic and Mary Sue-ish is pretty much the point really.

Mr Bean
05-14-2011, 08:18 AM
Please tell me you'll be posting your mighty adventures because this sounds absolutely hilarious. I'm just picturing everyone bellowing at each other in the most overblown voices imaginable.

Are you going to be GMing using the Mako Chronicler of Conan voice?

05-14-2011, 01:20 PM
... That is Darn Tempting but I think it'd probably slow things down too much. And as far as logging goes it's darn hard to actually pull that off doing the whole Skype/maptool bit. I'll try to recount highlights after though, and invite in anyone who really wants to just lurk and not participate too I guess. Alternatively, there's still 2 open player slots. Again, not all that hard for me to adjust plans to accommodate more people here.

05-14-2011, 05:57 PM
This sounds hysterical. I would sign up if I had, at least, a little experience playing these games. As it is, I'll have to settle for spectator, if that much.

05-15-2011, 03:50 PM
Spearfist the Warslayer
Former slave, and veteran of one thousand battles, each fiercer and more carnal than the last. The bald-headed Spearfist carries his enchanted broadsword, Tongue-Butcher, into battle, and wears a necklace of butchered tongues. He does not wear much else, nor does he have to.

Virility (C)
Broad Chest 0
Fearlessness 0
Intimidating Stature 1
Proud Name 0
Unbounded Masculinity 5

Warrior's Code (A)
Brute Strength 5
Improvisation 5
Know Evil 3
Mighty Fists 2
Mighty Weapon 5

Divine Providence (D)
Birth Right 0
Born Leader 0
Favored by the Gods 0
Rare Breed 3
Slayer of Evil 0

Endurance (B)
Fierce Flowing Blood 2
Ignore Discomfort 2
Shrug Off Blows 3
Stand Proud 0
Withstand the Elements 5

His unbounded masculinity knows no bounds.

05-16-2011, 03:39 PM
Oh hey Google, I wanted to mention, like with every game, I'm going to be about 15-30 minutes late, since I finish work right when the game's supposed to start. I hope that's okay...

05-16-2011, 11:48 PM
Totally fine. I traditionally begin all GC one-shots with a supremely inconsequential mini-encounter, so, even if we start without you, you'll just be walking into some big crazy tavern brawl rather than starting it, probably.

05-17-2011, 02:59 PM
So I'm pretty much good to go on running this in... 3 hours. Was going to go with a Skype+Maptool concept but there honestly isn't a terrible importance on seeing what's where here (what with combat mainly measured in goons-slaughtered-per-attack and not having movement rules or anything) and the core mechanic is all about counting 4s or higher on wads of individual d6s. Maptool's best method for doing that involves everyone constantly typing out stuff like "I attack with Lissome Rampancy! [1d6], [1d6], [1d6], [1d6], [1d6]" which... could get really freaking annoying. Probably be better off with IRC or something if someone has a dice bot that'll list the result on each individual die if you feed it, say, "!roll 5d6" or something.

05-17-2011, 03:28 PM
Whatever you think's best/easiest, and I'll go along with it. Did you need my skype name, or is it just going to be IRC?

05-17-2011, 04:26 PM
Yeah, skype info is definitely needed. Pretty sure I already have it for everyone else.

05-17-2011, 04:43 PM
Yeah, skype info is definitely needed. Pretty sure I already have it for everyone else.

Alright, PMed it to you.

05-17-2011, 06:34 PM
OK, playing time is now here. A bunch of people were curious enough to want to watch but not brave enough to want to play, so... #Glisten on Esper.net, and pester me on Skype I guess and you can do so!

05-17-2011, 10:26 PM
Spearfist loves being STRONG.

Good fun had by all involved, and yet another system that rewards me for stealing the spotlight!

05-18-2011, 12:48 AM
For those who missed it:

Yon party of barbarians heard of an Evil Wizard kidnapping the locals and taking them to his secret island lair, and strong-armed some pirates into taking them there. Along the way there were many awkward failed attempts at flirting, a terrible storm, and an attack from a giant octopus which was shamed into retreat by a combination of eye punching and hacking at limbs... then later tracked down and killed just on general principle.

After that, slaves were freed, hordes of personal guards were dispatched in creative fashion, Lira almost but not quite managed to succeed at every skill available to her, except the ones she was actually really good at, the evil wizard Zarnak (or something like that) was defeated after a very tense struggle against his two highest ranking goons and various distractions from torn clothing, and his harem of captured village girls was set free as he cast a spell which brought his entire stronghold to ruins with his dying breath.

The four triumphant heroes then vowed to quest further in their efforts to rid the world of Wicked Magicks... so... yeah, I'm really going to have to run another session of this at some point. Maybe get some more people in.

Most satisfying moment for me: Realizing I hadn't really explained how combat works out between two female characters, and everyone's reaction as I said "Hang on, let me dig out the chart."

05-18-2011, 05:45 AM
The four triumphant heroes then vowed to quest further in their efforts to rid the world of Wicked Magicks... so... yeah, I'm really going to have to run another session of this at some point. Maybe get some more people in.

I'm glad to hear that. I would, definitely, like to be part of the next session. I went ahead and threw together a character but I'll wait to post it, for now.

05-18-2011, 06:57 AM
Just posting to repeat what I said in IRC: Spearfist the Warslayer is the best name ever.

08-06-2011, 06:03 AM
Bambia Bustina

The six-hundred and forty-second daughter of roving adventurer Dagron (not Dacron) the Bloodbeard, a man who is known for such accolades as killing ten-thousand bloodthirsty wildebeests and making love to twelve-hundred women, in one day. Bambia was born to one of those random women. When she realized her father had abandoned her, and several hundred others, she set out to find him and teach him a lesson by shaving his precious, and magical, beard.

(Note: For reference, the magicalness of Dagron's beard is easily illustrated by it's sheer size. There is a story that says Dagron once protected an entire mountain village from the ravages of winter by draping his beard over the town.)

Litheness (B)
Baleful Accouterments - 1
Elusive Suppleness - 3
Funambulistic Poise - 3
Lissome Rampancy - 2
Sinuous Clamber - 3

Feminine Wiles (D)
Beguiling Parlance - 0
Enticing Beseechment - 3
Ferine Supplication - 0
Pretentious Raiment - 0
Preternatural Accordance - 0

Comeliness (C)
Bewitching Delicacy - 1
Generous Endowments - 2
Mollifying Exquisiteness - 3
Muliebral Legacy - 0
Prepotant Ascendancy - 0

Brazenness (A)
Abstemious Virtue - 4
Delicate Perceptivity - 3
Forbear Ensorcelment - 3
Imperturbable Hauteur - 5
Indecorate Mettle - 5

Since clothing is a crucial feature, are there any specific rules on what she should be wearing?

08-07-2011, 01:09 AM
To start off, I'm going to say the same thing yon other female character started with:

FANCY DRESS- It has a secureness of 3, 5 max rips, and is hit on a 44 or higher.

Pretty commonly worn garment, and the least modest option available if your Indecorate Mettle is a 5... which it should be, because that's as high as any skill is allowed to start at. You'll have to move those other 3 points somewhere else.

08-07-2011, 04:46 AM
Oops, I missed the part about skills only being 5 max, at start. I'll fix it.

08-09-2011, 02:56 AM
Korgall Skullface

Once a slave with a truly unfortunate scar across his face, Korgall discovered an ancient blade hidden in the depths of the salt caverns of Saravai that glew in the sun with the purest of silver lights. And lo, the puissant thanes of the witch-lord of Saravai felt that no mere slave should bear a sword of such might and beauty, and made to wrest it from Korgall's manacled hands.

Korgall wisely disagreed, and that day the shining blade was christened Thanecrusher the Radiant with the blood of the witch-lord's mighty thanes as Korgall roared his defiance at the witch-lord's mountain keep atop his own mountain of thanes.

Virility (D)
Broad Chest 0
Fearlessness 0
Intimidating Stature 3
Proud Name 0
Unbounded Masculinity 0

Warrior's Code (A)
Brute Strength 5
Improvisation 5
Know Evil 2
Mighty Fists 3
Mighty Weapon 5

Divine Providence (B)
Birth Right 2
Born Leader 0
Favored by the Gods 2
Rare Breed 3
Slayer of Evil 5

Endurance (C)
Fierce Flowing Blood 0
Ignore Discomfort 0
Shrug Off Blows 3
Stand Proud 3
Withstand the Elements 0

08-09-2011, 05:36 AM
Found my character sheet from the first session!

If we're using the XP we gained from that session, I had given a bump to Broad Chest (gotta woo those ladies), Improvisation (Spearfist pretty much forgoes Tongue-butcher half of the time and finds ridiculous weapons to stunt with), and Stand Proud (fucking Zarlax making me kneel!)

08-09-2011, 05:45 PM
Yeah, experience gets to carry over for anyone who had the wherewithall to save their old sheet. Also, it's getting close to start time here so I suppose I should double check that I have everyone's skype info, hop into #glisteningchests on IRC and double check that someone has a dicebot.

Probably should have done all this way earlier. Today's kinda been weird.

08-10-2011, 07:56 AM
I appreciate the opportunity to have played with you guys, yesterday. It was, thankfully, exactly as I imagined: light on rule dickering and heavy on amusement. I don't know how well I played my character but it was fun, nevertheless.

There is one question, I had. Did those nonsense actions Bambia took ("pretending" to be a man and the bird watching tomfoolery) accomplish anything other than getting experience for the associated skills? Specifically, was Bambia actually immune to getting nabbed by the half of the mob that thought she was a man? And, did the mooks looking for a bald eagle actually get distracted from the fighting?

08-10-2011, 02:53 PM
Yeah. The fluke disguisery success did keep people from trying to cart you off, instead wasting turns slashing ineffectually at you... and the bird thing would have distracted the elite guards there for a round except they ended up also being distracted by the one-hit disrobe thing going on that same round.

While granted, this isn't really a game while tactical advantages are all that important, you did snag a couple nice ones by doing weird things there.

08-14-2011, 08:29 PM
Hope you don't mind, goog, but I thought your idea was pretty cool so I pitched it to FFG.

Look for Mighty Thews: the RPG in stores in 2013! lol jk