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Wolfgang
06-08-2012, 03:26 PM
Oh shit, no, 17,001 - no, 17,002

Dizzy
06-08-2012, 03:29 PM
http://i.imgur.com/HxQMC.gif

Wolfgang
06-08-2012, 03:36 PM
I only made this thread so I can collect responses that prove I'm the most hated member of the forum.

Nobuyuki
06-08-2012, 03:49 PM
They're all solid gold.

Comb Stranger
06-08-2012, 03:51 PM
Congratulations Wolfgang on 100 great posts!

Wolfgang
06-08-2012, 04:08 PM
Part of me wishes I went out on my 17,000th (http://www.gamespite.net/talkingtime/showpost.php?p=1322392&postcount=10)

So do we!

No, that's a bit much - it's not that you want me to go, it's more like nobody cares about absolutely anything I have to say or contribute.

You guys are the best friends anyone could want!

shivam
06-08-2012, 04:13 PM
i do, wolfie. i do.

Alixsar
06-08-2012, 04:17 PM
So do you want us to post that we hate you, confirming that we hate you? Or is this a cry for help, and you want us to post how much we like you?

WHAT IS YOUR GAME HERE SHAWOLF

Octopus Prime
06-08-2012, 04:20 PM
Small.

Potatoes.

Zeroneight
06-08-2012, 04:27 PM
Try having the highest membership time to post count ratio. Now That's Hot Rockin'®, ya big goof!

Wolfgang
06-08-2012, 04:29 PM
http://i.imgur.com/WY0sa.jpg

WHAT IS YOUR GAME HERE SHAWOLF

The game is making you go insane by trying to figure out what my game is

That Old Chestnut
06-08-2012, 04:36 PM
Try having the highest membership time to post count ratio.

NOT EXACTLY

Zeroneight
06-08-2012, 04:47 PM
Now you're cooking with gas!

That Old Chestnut
06-08-2012, 04:50 PM
:cool:

Balrog
06-08-2012, 04:54 PM
I don't hate you.

Adam
06-08-2012, 05:40 PM
Eat a moldy dick, you disgusting sack of crap. <3

periodical
06-08-2012, 05:48 PM
I think I'm lowballing pretty hard.

Dizzy
06-08-2012, 05:59 PM
Eat a moldy dick, you disgusting sack of crap. <3

Coward!

Red Silvers
06-08-2012, 06:01 PM
I don't even have that many posts on the Captain SNES forum, and I've been there since 04.

So you are apparetly more internet badass than me?

MagFlare
06-08-2012, 06:04 PM
Congratulations! Please accept this commemorative Blingee.

http://i.imgur.com/xpVvs.gif

Wolfgang
06-08-2012, 06:04 PM
Now I really pine for animated avatars! That might have to be my forum sig here!

-----------------------------
http://i.imgur.com/xpVvs.gif
Bitchin' It!!!!!!!!!!!
360-xXJUGGALO_NINJAXx
PS3-DA_P1MP_MAZTA
Wii-354-820-109

Posaune
06-08-2012, 07:08 PM
PS3-DA_P1MP_MAZTA

"Boy, he's really proud of his car" is what I thought when I first read this.

shivam
06-08-2012, 10:22 PM
i forgot to make a post when i hit 18k and became 9 people =-/

Nodal
06-08-2012, 11:05 PM
Now I really pine for animated avatars! That might have to be my forum sig here!

-----------------------------
http://i.imgur.com/xpVvs.gif
Bitchin' It!!!!!!!!!!!
360-xXJUGGALO_NINJAXx
PS3-DA_P1MP_MAZTA
Wii-354-820-109

Did Eddie just post?

Alixsar
06-08-2012, 11:41 PM
Now I really pine for animated avatars! That might have to be my forum sig here!

-----------------------------
http://i.imgur.com/xpVvs.gif
Bitchin' It!!!!!!!!!!!
360-xXJUGGALO_NINJAXx
PS3-DA_P1MP_MAZTA
Wii-420-69-365

Fixed.

upupdowndown
06-09-2012, 12:09 AM
Fixed.

Now he has to make it his signature.

Epithet
06-09-2012, 12:13 AM
-----------------------------
http://i.imgur.com/xpVvs.gif
Bitchin' It!!!!!!!!!!!
360-xXDARK_SEPHIROTHXx
PS3-ANIMEWEEBLORD420
Wii-420-69-666

Fixed forever.

Nobuyuki
06-09-2012, 12:18 AM
i forgot to make a post when i hit 18k and became 9 people =-/

I think once I'm two people I'll just stop. That way I won't be lonely anymore :(

Epithet
06-09-2012, 12:25 AM
Sup, I'm Wolfgang. 19. Hypermasculine. Fictive. Hawk theriocephalous. My favorite thing in the world is alien tits. please submit alien tits. I also have a Muppets blog at badassmufo.tumblr.com

ajr82
06-09-2012, 12:41 AM
"Boy, he's really proud of his car" is what I thought when I first read this.

This is what Google Images think a "pimp Mazda" looks like.

http://x78.xanga.com/7a1a71730573075660922/w51122950.jpg

I think that about sums it up, really.

Nobuyuki
06-09-2012, 12:56 AM
This is what Google Images think a "pimp Mazda" looks like.

http://x78.xanga.com/7a1a71730573075660922/w51122950.jpg

I think that about sums it up, really.

http://i476.photobucket.com/albums/rr124/dbowman97/800px-Mazda_Furai_Detroit_2008.jpg

Looking at the wrong Mazdas.

Epithet
06-09-2012, 01:02 AM
The can made an unearthly sound as it was opened, and the beans glistened strangely in the warm, hazy night. Wolfgang's pimp car figurine gleamed on the kitchen counter. Something was reflected in its window—Green hair? It couldn't be! Wolfgang turned around hastily, can opener at the ready. Nothing. He'd spilled the beans all over his floor. The smeared sauce resembled an old bloodstain. It was all nothing, nothing. The flickering fluorescent light reminded him of alien figures with tremendous eyes and carefully rendered limbs ending in six-fingered hands. They'd come for him someday. He knew it.

Wolfgang
06-09-2012, 01:09 AM
Hawk theriocephalous

First of all, my avatar disproves that.

Epithet
06-09-2012, 01:20 AM
Wolfgang was shocked at how quickly it had taken over the internet. Most of these people...wouldn't make it. Though he wasn't sure if they would end up as its allies or its victims. The secret wracked his heart, but the truth seemed to stick in his throat and freeze his fingers. He settled for the next best thing. "lol, anime."

Epithet
06-09-2012, 01:43 AM
The agent parked his car outside a normal-looking brownstone building. "Thanks for agreeing to work with us," he said.

Wolfgang nodded.

A small room on the upper floor held the object of the agent's inquiry, a small statue. Its face was much too wide and the whole thing was a pale, sickly pink. It held a bow that took a shape that warped and shifted as you looked at it. Mysterious sigils were carved on its base. The thing seemed to bend the room around it.

"The thing was worshipped by a group in Louisiana," the agent said. "They talked about their pale mistress who rose from the murk and gave them the soil and stars."

Wolfgang shoved the door open and puked in the hall. For a second it seemed to be alive with wormlike things, but it was just Spaghetti-O's.

Nodal
06-09-2012, 01:58 AM
Is this the intro to the next Mafia game.

Wolfgang
06-09-2012, 02:19 AM
Epithet leaned back from the keyboard and signed. He'd been writing and rewriting the same paragraph for the last half hour but he couldn't get the thing right; it sounded fake, lifeless. He knew this wasn't going to work.

He got up. Walked to the tiny, cramped kitchen and grabbed the first bottle within reach: cheap, room-temperature gin. He took a swig and rubbed his chin, stubble smearing in the boozy grease that had accumulated during the sleepless night. He wandered back into the bedroom, and leaned against the window. It was humid, and the steady downpour wasn't clearing the air. In the distance, lightning flashed.

Character work wasn't Epithet's strong suit, never had been, and it was going to cost him this time. He was simply in over his head. What had his editor told him: write what you know. Well, that was the problem, wasn't it?

He was trying to capture a larger-than-life personality when he had none himself. How often had people passed him by, forgetting his name, what he did, if they'd met? When he talked to Wolfgang for research, Wolfgang admitted he couldn't remember even having spoken to him before, despite spending several years in the same building.

He couldn't think of a single worthwhile trait, an accomplishment or achievement of his own that he could draw inspiration from. He'd never even experienced any noticable failures - the texture of his existence was grey flannel. He'd spent so much time on his JRPGs and pokeymans that he'd missed out on living a real life of his own... Inventing one worth living was just too far beyond his reach.

How could he possibly manage this task?

Fuck it, thought Epithet. he slumped back down in his uncomfortable chair, under that harsh, too-bright lamp and pounded out the words that would expose him for the fraud he suspected he was: "lol anime"

Then he reached to open the drawer of his cheap desk, tugging when it caught on broken casters. Epithet stared at the wall straight ahead, while inside his fingers brushed against steel.

Wolfgang
06-09-2012, 02:26 AM
Seriously though, who is Epithet, guys? Does he ever go in IRC?

Nodal
06-09-2012, 02:29 AM
I liked the ghost-writing but can it be Epithets turn again?

Wolfgang
06-09-2012, 03:00 AM
I liked the ghost-writing but can it be Epithets turn again?

At least I'm having a fantasy about someone else killing themselves. That's a kind of progress.

Wolfgang
06-09-2012, 03:18 AM
I guess epithet is trying to make me feel guilty or ashamed about something, or do that thing where you make fun of someone to their face, using injokes you know they won't understand but other people will. I guess I really am too stupid to understand what's going on, and while I logically know I shouldn't be hurt by it, because who lets their feeling get hurt by a stranger online, I am. So he did what he set out to do, and he should be proud for doing it I suppose.

All I wanted to do was make a dumb thread saying I waste my time here posting a lot. Sorry.

Epithet
06-09-2012, 08:34 AM
None of those posts were meant as siqqq ice burns or anything. I'm sorry if they came across as passive-aggressive or I offended you.

Dizzy
06-09-2012, 08:50 AM
I guess I really am too stupid to understand what's going on, and while I logically know I shouldn't be hurt by it, because who lets their feeling get hurt by a stranger online, I am.

Dude, they're not strangers, they're real people with hopes and dreams.

Comb Stranger
06-09-2012, 10:19 AM
Dude, they're not strangers, they're real people with hopes and dreams.

*ahem*

reibeatall
06-09-2012, 10:56 AM
All I have to say is thank god I'm not in the top 10 posters anymore.

Wolfgang
06-09-2012, 11:22 AM
None of those posts were meant as siqqq ice burns or anything. I'm sorry if they came across as passive-aggressive or I offended you.

I'm not upset, but what I was hoping would happen was that certain people would think I was, and get angry about it, like what usually happens. I was expecting to wake up to an entertaining shitstorm but now I feel a little let down.

Sir Sly Ry
06-09-2012, 11:28 AM
I'm disappointed in your trolling today, Wolfgang. You almost had me making a snarky comment though. Almost.

Wolfgang
06-09-2012, 11:31 AM
Blasé dismission is the new trolling.

Sir Sly Ry
06-09-2012, 11:33 AM
It's so hard to keep up. It's evolving so quickly.

Octopus Prime
06-09-2012, 02:28 PM
*ahem*

Yes, yes, some are advanced AI subroutines that post on video game forums.

Epithet
06-09-2012, 03:38 PM
Wolfgang sorted through his cans again. Beans, mayo, pork, rice, peaches. Stacked along the edges of every room in uneven piles. He knew that if it ever happened, if the stars were right and the earth became ripe for its appearance, that it would probably be best if he died quickly. But something about the cans comforted him. There they stood, concentric and even, reminding him of man's greatest feats. They were as pure and logical as a Randian hero, standing tall against the madness that swirled around him.

He placed an old science fair trifold across two piles of cans, making a makeshift desk. He opened the old man's journal and flipped through it, taking notes on the inside of a tuna can's wrapper. It was mostly nonsense, scribbled unevenly at odd angles across the pages of the notebook. But some things seemed to recur throughout the journal. The phrase "S13AS" and a strange, uneven sigil with four spiny points. S13? It couldn't be!

Paul le Fou
06-09-2012, 08:10 PM
Wolfgang's thread as told through image macros:

http://images.sodahead.com/polls/001403463/hey_everybody_pay_attention_to_me_answer_1_xlarge. jpeg

http://images.icanhascheezburger.com/completestore/2008/9/20/128664216355337898.jpg

http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2009/10/15/129001068979229655.jpg

Happy post-birthday ya big galoot, I hope it fits~

Wolfgang
06-09-2012, 09:52 PM
Wolfgang's thread as told through image macros:


...said Paul "a bloo bloo bloo I can't foster personal relationships plz help" le fou.

Zeroneight
06-10-2012, 04:14 PM
This is a fucking soap opera.

Comb Stranger
06-10-2012, 04:44 PM
Armando?!

Wolfgang
06-10-2012, 06:11 PM
This is a fucking soap opera.

All the best tv shows have soap opera aspects so I take that as a compliment

Excitemike
06-10-2012, 06:40 PM
Take the average time it takes for you to make a post. Multiply this number by 17,000. Despair.

Wolfgang
06-10-2012, 06:59 PM
I am sorry that I am Depressed but from a young age I come from Circumstances

Sir Sly Ry
06-10-2012, 07:21 PM
but from a young age I come from Circumstances
I'm sorry for your Loss.

Comb Stranger
06-10-2012, 11:03 PM
Take the average time it takes for you to make a post. Multiply this number by 17,000. Despair.

For Wolfgang? What's so depressing about thirty-five minutes?

Wolfgang
06-11-2012, 06:19 AM
Hahaha what who even cares fuck you

BEAT
06-11-2012, 06:25 AM
How.

What is even.

I don't.

Red Hedgehog
06-11-2012, 09:29 AM
I could tell this thread was going bad places by its first post.

It's just... talking time can't handle a thread like this. But don't feel bad, most of the world couldn't handle a thread like this. It had to be posted on a forum consisting of Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr., and Jesus.

Zeroneight
06-11-2012, 10:35 AM
Now there's a good concept for one of those soap operas Wolfgang loves so much!

Adam
06-11-2012, 11:17 AM
For Wolfgang? What's so depressing about thirty-five minutes?

The way that minutes 3-32 and minute 35 are spent apologizing.