View Full Version : Gummy Bears and Braces

06-28-2013, 04:33 PM
Personally, I love to cram my mouth full of gummy bears. However, I got braces Monday. What to do, Tyrants?

06-28-2013, 04:40 PM
I have literally never thought that there would be a use for this information, but have you considered gummy bear vodka?

06-28-2013, 04:43 PM
1. Microwave gummy bears in a microwave-safe bowl
2. Stick a straw into your newly formed goo
3. Shed tears as the gum-goo solidifies halfway up the straw

06-28-2013, 04:51 PM
1. Get one of those gigantic 12" gummy bears.

2. Carve a mouth onto its face.

3. Give it tiny braces.

4. Taunt it and scream at it, mocking its orthodontic misfortune.

5. Harvest its delicious, fruit-flavored tears.

6. Enjoy!

06-28-2013, 05:00 PM
oh god. don't even think about gummy bears, or starbursts, or now and laters. That shit will tear the rings out of your braces so fucking quickly. I can't tell you how many times i had to go back to the dentist to have those things cemented back into place, leading to my eventual need for a root canal. I can still feel the loose wires poking the back of my cheek, and taste the sour cement....

06-28-2013, 07:37 PM
Suck on them.

06-28-2013, 09:47 PM
Personally, I love to cram my mouth full of gummy bears. However, I got braces Monday. What to do, Tyrants?Sometimes, in order to better yourself you must make sacrifices. This is your sacrifice. Bide your time and wait. Once the time is right and your enemies are lulled into a false sense of security then you may attack with a superior weapon and deal a grievous blow to them. But do not attack before the time is right! For that can damage the weapon and make it useless. Patience is a virtue. Do not be like the weak cowards who rush to their doom. He who chews last, chews best.

06-28-2013, 10:01 PM
In other words, chews wisely.

06-29-2013, 12:53 AM
It's possible.

You can't chew it with your teeth, but you can use your (1) tongue and the (2) roof of your mouth to suck the juice and soften the gummy to the point where you can semi-chew it.

Stay the flying fuck away from calzones though.

06-29-2013, 05:25 AM
Repeating earlier comments, sucking is your best bet. Frankly, Haribo and Black Forest are not your friends for the foreseeable future. Sorry.

06-29-2013, 08:39 AM

06-29-2013, 09:15 AM
Suck on them.

Paul le Fou
07-02-2013, 06:32 AM
Or just... don't eat them.

07-03-2013, 02:06 PM
Gummy bears you can do.

Starbursts, no.