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View Full Version : Script review of Paul WS Anderson's Castlevania


Thinaran
07-15-2008, 02:21 AM
Script review at CC2K (http://www.cc2k.us/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1327&Itemid=2)

Simon Belmont is in it. He's using a sword. There's a love interest. Simon has a brother who turns into a vampire. There's no reference to the Vampire Killer whip.


Why must Paul WS Anderson destroy everything I love!

Savathun
07-15-2008, 02:29 AM
He seems to believe mistakenly that he's a story-teller, with magical and wonderful things to say, and the world will be wowed by his sub-par fanfiction.

Guy
07-15-2008, 02:34 AM
I really hope Warren Ellis's Castlevania III movie isn't dead or anything, because the production blog hasn't updated in months and I haven't heard any news. That movie sounds badass so far; not only is the Vampire Killer in it, but Ellis says a strike from that thing causes the target to explode.

mr_bungle700
07-15-2008, 03:24 AM
I keep pretty good track of Ellis, and while he hasn't talked much about the film lately he would most likely say something if it was dead. He's usually open about that sort of thing.

SpoonyBardOL
07-15-2008, 05:51 AM
Oh god why? Mankind ill needs a producer/writer such as this.

I mean, he's no Uwe Boll, but this script isn't much better than what I'd expect from him. Just read the last bit of that article, that's all we need for a Castlevania movie, why's that so hard?

kaisel
07-15-2008, 06:01 AM
As bad as it looks (and it looks really bad) I can kind of understand why he wanted to change things (like adding in more characters), since watching Simon kill monsters would get old after a while. Directly taking the plot from Dracula is just... sad.

I think a better idea would have been merging Castlevania I and II into a movie, start off with Simon slaying Dracula, and then having to deal with the curse.

SpoonyBardOL
07-15-2008, 06:04 AM
That's actually not that bad of an idea. Just as long as they make the last confrontation with Dracula more threatening than it was in Castlevania II it could actually work.

Zef
07-15-2008, 07:45 AM
Huh. Okay, so... if they're not using any of the Castlevania mythos aside from sad little namedropping, why did they even bother purchasing the rights? And hopefully someone along the production line will realize how much of a ripoff of Bram Stoker's Dracula this is.

I guess this means the original script (http://castlevaniadraculascurse.com/) (and all its goat-sex (http://castlevaniadraculascurse.com/2007/08/16/first-draft-excerpt/) ignominy) was scrapped?

Paul le Fou
07-15-2008, 07:48 AM
I hate to be that guy, but:

What the hell did you honestly expect? Seriously.

TheSL
07-15-2008, 07:49 AM
I guess this means the original script (http://castlevaniadraculascurse.com/) (and all its goat-sex (http://castlevaniadraculascurse.com/2007/08/16/first-draft-excerpt/) ignominy) was scrapped?

That's a totally different movie than the one the others are complaining about here.

Merus
07-15-2008, 08:24 AM
Huh. Okay, so... if they're not using any of the Castlevania mythos aside from sad little namedropping, why did they even bother purchasing the rights?

Something we could well ask of Resident Evil.

SpoonyBardOL
07-15-2008, 10:26 AM
What the hell did you honestly expect? Seriously.

We should all know better by now, we really should. But I guess there's still part of me that hopes ONE DAY Hollywood won't go and fuck up a videogame movie.

We all can dream.

Brickroad
07-15-2008, 10:35 AM
I hate to be that guy, but:

What are you talking about? You love to be that guy. And it would be wrong of us to deny you that.

ecchi squirrel
07-15-2008, 10:36 AM
If Simon still wears a leather mini skirt during the movie, I might still go watch this movie.

'Cause it's funny. I'm not gay or anything. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Excitemike
07-15-2008, 10:42 AM
The script for Transformers the Movie (1986) includes references to clothing, like boots and capes.

Stiv
07-15-2008, 11:53 AM
Why does anyone even care about a Castlevania movie in the first place?

O..O~
07-15-2008, 01:44 PM
. I'm not gay or anything. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Someone is uncomfortable with their sexuality. That or your a tad homophobic. Or both.

Also,what can you expect? You think someone would make an honest, faithful movie based on a video game like castlevania? Nah. At least max payne still looks awesome.

Dadgum Roi
07-15-2008, 01:45 PM
Wes Anderson is making a Castlevania movie? Holy shit!

mr_bungle700
07-15-2008, 02:49 PM
Prepare to be disappointed!

nadia
07-15-2008, 03:44 PM
The script is terrible, but on the other hand the Castlevania comic series--which was accurate--was pretty terrible, too.

(Kurt Katala was on-key when he called it an average comic full of whipping monsters and women calling each other whores.)

Then again, the comic featured Christopher Belmont and he's boring by default.

teekun
07-15-2008, 07:04 PM
Didn't we already have a shitty Castlevania movie? It was called Van Helsing. :D

Paul le Fou
07-15-2008, 07:21 PM
Wes Anderson is making a Castlevania movie? Holy shit!

No, dude. Idiot. It's Paul Thomas Anderson. There Will Be Blood 2: Castlevania confirmed.

Dadgum Roi
07-15-2008, 07:22 PM
No, dude. Idiot. It's Paul Thomas Anderson. There Will Be Blood 2: Castlevania confirmed.

Now that you mention it, There Will Be Blood kinda was a Castlevania movie.

Excitemike
07-15-2008, 07:28 PM
The script is terrible, but on the other hand the Castlevania comic series--which was accurate--was pretty terrible, too.

(Kurt Katala was on-key when he called it an average comic full of whipping monsters and women calling each other whores.)

Then again, the comic featured Christopher Belmont and he's boring by default.

Does anyone know anything about a new Castlevania series at Tokyopop called Curse of Darkness? Castlevania has just about everything I love to see in a comic book, and I would very much like one to be good.

Paul le Fou
07-15-2008, 07:55 PM
Now that you mention it, There Will Be Blood kinda was a Castlevania movie.

I
STEAL
YOUR
SOULS!

I STEAL THEM UP! and make you my slaves

dosboot
07-15-2008, 08:07 PM
Somehow I'm still expecting this movie to be canceled before it's too late

Kishi
07-15-2008, 09:59 PM
Then again, the comic featured Christopher Belmont and he's boring by default.

Chris has potential; the Japanese manual of the first CV game made a big deal out of him being the "legendary hero" directly preceding Simon. It's just that no one ever did anything with it, and then Trevor came in and stole his thunder as Prequel Hero.

(I thought it was especially mean that Portrait of Ruin's "Greatest Five" attack made no reference to him--but included Juste, of all people.)

Eirikr
07-16-2008, 05:04 PM
Maybe Anderson based his script on Haunted Castle, the arcade game. It is the only time Simon used a sword, after all.

(yeah, I'm preparing for the worst)

Luckily, this movie will probably be so far under the radar it won't even matter.

Sprite
07-16-2008, 06:12 PM
I don't understand why people are complaining about this, considering the story of the Castlevania games is rather crappy as well.

Eirikr
07-16-2008, 06:14 PM
I don't understand why people are complaining about this, considering the story of the Castlevania games is rather crappy as well.

Yeah, but they didn't even come close to capturing what makes Castlevania, Castlevania, probably around the same time they decided omitting the Vampire Killer was a change fans would love.

alexb
07-16-2008, 06:24 PM
I don't understand why people are complaining about this, considering the story of the Castlevania games is rather crappy as well.

If you're not even going to keep superficial, easy to implement elements of the mythos, why even make a movie?

Paul le Fou
07-16-2008, 08:06 PM
A good movie is probably more than anyone could have expected from Castlevania, but the least they could expect is a Castlevania movie, which they have somehow managed to not deliver here. This is all assuming they've never paid attention to any video game -> movie adaptation ever, of course.

Dizzy
07-16-2008, 08:11 PM
If you're not even going to keep superficial, easy to implement elements of the mythos, why even make a movie?

$$$

Yeah I know... too obvious.

Zaidyer
07-17-2008, 10:56 AM
I'm of the opinion that Castlevania III would be one of the better candidates for a movie treatment because of the multiple player characters. (The obvious film strip opening is also a factor.)
If it were a movie about Simon Belmont, for example, it would be either boring or unfaithful because he doesn't have any companions in the games and they'd have to make someone up for the movie. But with Trevor and his gang, you've got potential for a good story.

The climactic scene just needs to be Alucard, Sypha and Grant battling various monsters while Trevor goes up to Dracula, tells him to die because he doesn't belong in this world, and proceeds to whip him to death.

WHAT IS SO HARD ABOUT THIS, HOLLYWOOD

Andrew
07-17-2008, 12:00 PM
"I'm going to geet in my boat, I'm going to go ahp-river, and I'm going keek that sonnuvabeetch Dracula's ass...soooooo haaaaahd...that the next Dracula vannabe, es going to feel eet."

Zef
07-17-2008, 12:30 PM
"I'm going to geet in my boat,

http://www.the-weaving.com/images/temp/und-2.png

I'm going to go ahp-river,

http://www.the-weaving.com/images/temp/AkumajoDraculaX-ChinoRondo-Stage4'-MountainRangeEnd.jpg

and I'm going keek that sonnuvabeetch Dracula's ass...

http://www.the-weaving.com/images/temp/dxrit-2.png

soooooo haaaaahd...

http://www.the-weaving.com/images/temp/dxmaria-13.gif

that the next Dracula vannabe,

http://www.the-weaving.com/images/temp/brauner.png

es going to feel eet."

http://www.the-weaving.com/images/temp/LoD-Gilles.gif

Ample Vigour
07-17-2008, 01:40 PM
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

/talking time