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Alixsar
01-04-2009, 11:45 PM
Episode 1: A Brief History of Time

4 and a half billion years ago, there wasn’t a hell of a lot to do in the universe.

The Solar Nebula, a huge mass of gas and dust left over from when the Sun was formed, came together to form the planets of the Solar System. It took a few million years to happen, but eventually the Earth formed. It took many more millions of years for the planet to become suitable for life. Vats of microorganisms were the first forms of life. The atmosphere eventually became oxygenated for a variety of reasons that I don’t thoroughly understand. The microorganisms continued to grow and evolve. Fish, lizards, plants, dinosaurs! A large variety of species came and went with the passage of time.

After several million years of evolution, the first form of man came to be 2 million years ago (give or take). Man as we know him now came into existence just 200,000 years ago. Since then, life has been a constant struggle for resources and technology. Civilizations formed in response to the hardships of life, but that brought a whole new set of problems. War, famine, starvation, and the ever present fear of death weighed down heavily upon humans and continue to do so to this day.

You reading this text, like myself, live a blessed life. You have a computer, can go to a store to simply buy food (as opposed to devoting your entire livelihood to growing your own), and have an army that is pledged to defend your country should the unthinkable happen. You don’t have to work just to survive like our predecessors...but with a modern society like ours comes a whole new set of problems. Stress from work, expectations of friends and parents, loneliness, regret, depression…the list goes on.

The simple truth is that life is a never ending struggle with the unavoidable. It’s either pure luck or divine intervention that caused mankind to be. The constant threat of death looms over us. We are weak and fragile creatures, victims of circumstance and chance heading towards an uncertain future.

Not Very Maudlin At All

As such, man always sought a way to escape the horrors of reality…even if only temporarily. This is why the arts have always been important to humanity. Plays, books, music, movies, television…they all allow you to escape your life and take a trip somewhere else. You can be a superhero, a star crossed lover; whatever your heart desires! The imagination has within it the incredible power to ease the pain of life.

The newest and most modern form of escapism is that of the video game. If you’re reading this text on this forum, then there’s an extremely good chance you already know what those are. The history of video games is no different from the history of any other media. Just as literature has had watershed moments in storytelling and movies have had breakthrough moments in special effects, video games have seen their fair share of classics as well.

The year was 1998. I had just turned 14 years old, and Christmas was right around the corner. I had had my Nintendo 64 for almost two years at that point and was eagerly waiting to receive the copy of Rogue Squadron I had asked for Christmas. Despite my love for the Zelda series, I was incredibly skeptical of the series’ newest entry, Ocarina of Time. “Zelda? In 3D? It’ll never work!” I scoffed. Shortly before Christmas, I had played the game at a friend’s house.

I was wrong. I have never been so wrong in my entire life.

I managed to scrape some money of my own together before Christmas and bought my own copy of the game. I’ve never looked back. At the time I knew that OoT was something special but now that I’ve had ten years to mature and look back on what was I can see just how special it truly is. Narrative, technical proficiency, atmosphere, exploration, character progression, a 3D game with a lock-on system that isn’t completely backasswards…it all blends seamlessly in a beautiful, perfect package. Games since OoT have taken what it’s done and improved upon it. Twilight Princess took OoT’s basic framework and gave it a “new-gen” coat of paint, while expanding the narrative aspects of the series. Other games look better, other games have “better” action sequences, other games have bigger worlds to explore, other games have better puzzles, and other games have deeper ways to modify your character.

But none of them are Ocarina of Time. No game before or since has done so many things right on so many levels. No game since has affected the medium as a whole like Ocarina has. Ocarina of Time is, without any shadow of a doubt, the best video game ever created. It pushed the medium forward in so many ways that the ripples of the splash OoT first made a decade ago are still being felt today.

The world is harsh and unrelenting. There is no future. You are going to die. Everyone dies; there’s no escaping it.

…But you can lose yourself in another world for a time. You can lose this terrible place, and find yourself lost in the magical forests of the Kokiri. You can traverse the plains of Hyrule and find hidden treasures in caverns that reach far below the surface. You can climb the treacherous Death Mountain and plunge to the depths of Lake Hylia. You can be someone else for a while and live in a world of magic and fantasy.

So come along with me as I journey yet again through the land of Hyrule. Leave your problems from this world at the door, and prepare yourself for the adventure of a lifetime.

Oh, and please leave all of your Zelda Timeline Discussion crap at the door too. I know I’m not going to get through this LP without us getting into it at some point, but please try not to get into it until I cover the topic in my LP.

A Notice to the Reader

- I don’t have that much time to update these days, but my goal is at the very absolute least to update once a week. Realistically I should be able to put down two or three, but I’m not going to set a goal that I can’t meet. So to be safe, I’m going to say once a week.

- This is not a tutorial or FAQ. I won’t be covering every single detail of every single thing. I’m going to be fairly thorough, but I’m also going to edit things a bit. You'll notice more of this once we get past the first few dungeons.

- Unless you all object, I won’t be getting the fourth bottle. It’s tedious to get and you can get the first three extremely easily, so it’s never really needed. If you all want me to I will, but please. I really dun wanna. [/tantrum]

- I will be getting the Ice Arrows. That dungeon kicks ass.

- I will be sequence breaking as much as possible. Alas, it’s not very possible in this game…but there is one place in particular that I will be doing it. So that's something, eh?

That said, let's get started!

A Kinder, Gentler Opening Movie

Games today are all about pomp and circumstance. The “game opening” has become the stuff of legend. FFVIII’s opera and cherry blossom fueled adrenaline rush, FFVII’s terrorist attack, Call of Duty 4’s panic filled escape from a sinking boat, Bioshock’s terrifying plane crash; games love to have “big” openings and they have for quite some time.

But not OoT. OoT has the most subtle opening of all time.

Given the rising popularity of the “game opening” in 1998, everyone and their mother expected OoT to begin with explosions and horse back sword fights between Ganon and Link.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%201/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-37.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%201/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-36.jpg

Instead, we got Link riding a horse around a field at the break of dawn while soft music plays in the background.

It was an absolutely brilliant move. The N64’s cart format meant that Nintendo couldn’t have made an awesome CG intro even if they had wanted to. Instead, Nintendo gave us a window into Silent Protagonist Extraordinaire Link’s relationship with his trusty steed, Epona.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%201/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-35.jpg

While the camera gives us a relaxing virtual tour of Hyrule, Link rides Epona to nowhere in particular. The duo stops at a stream which Epona then drinks from.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%201/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-34.jpg

With a neigh as loud as thunder, the pair rides off-screen to adventures unknown.

The intro not only showcases how massive and impressive looking the overworld is, but it also showcases the game’s horse riding feature and highlights the importance of the relationship between Link and Epona. It’s beautiful in its simplicity and more than a bit touching (it helps that the music in this scene is one of the best uses of the N64 sound chip in the system’s lifetime). It defied everyone’s expectations. A one-two punch of uniqueness…and the game hasn’t even started yet! Who knows what else the game has in store for us?

Alixsar
01-04-2009, 11:48 PM
http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%201/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-33.jpg

First thing’s first. To the options screen!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%201/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-32.jpg

The game’s default option for Z Targeting is set to “Switch”. All subsequent Zelda games that use the same targeting system (Wind Waker, Twilight Princess) have had “Hold” as the default option. This should tell you something. I’m going to get into the particulars of Z Targeting in a bit, but trust me when I say that Hold is the way to play.

Now that that’s done, it’s time to name our file. When I was a kid, I would always name my file Alex since my sister and father would typically play the same games that I did. I had to know what file was mine, after all. Since then, I’ve switched to naming my files Link so NPCs will call me Link whenever they talk to me. But this is an LP. We need to something…special.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%201/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-31.jpg

Good morning, Cr- nah, screw it. I don’t want to make bad Chrono Trigger jokes this whole LP.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%201/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-30.jpg

Hmm. Nah, not enough party members.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%201/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-29.jpg

This (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_man_with_no_name)…this is the most appropriate name for OoT Link ever. For more reasons than I can count.

After selecting your file, the Great Deku Tree introduces himself (he’s “the guardian spirit” of…uh, something) and gives some much needed backstory. Somewhere in the forests of Hyrule, the Great Deku Tree sits around and strokes his giant tree moustache. Since he’ll occasionally get bored, he somehow created a village (Kokiri Village) of children to keep him amused. They do all sorts of things like stand, talk, and have shaggy haircuts.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%201/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-16.jpg

Sometimes they even hump rocks!

But another thing that all Kokiri have is a guardian fairy. It’s never really made clear just how a Kokiri gets one, but everyone has one. It’s also never really made clear if the Kokiri ever age or die, but you know what? Don’t worry about it. The Great Deku Tree (GDT) explains that there is one child who somehow does not have a fairy…

Let’s Have a Prophetic Vision!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%201/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-28.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%201/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-27.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%201/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-26.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%201/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-25.jpg

Hmm. I wonder who that was. I hope it’s not some bitch that is accidentally going to enable the destruction of the entire world.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%201/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-24.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%201/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-23.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%201/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-22.jpg

Christ, look at that nose!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%201/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-21.jpg

I mean SRSLY

All kidding aside, this scene does showcase one of OoT’s biggest innovations. The facial animations look rudimentary by today’s standards, but seeing characters blink, smile, sneer, cry, scream etc. was a big deal back in 1998. It wasn’t the first game to have characters react to the situations around them, but it certainly was the best. OoT set the standard for facial animations. You kids today are spoiled with your characters that have lip synced dialogue and what-not. You have OoT to thank for that, you ungrateful whippersnappers!

Also, get off my lawn!

Alixsar
01-04-2009, 11:49 PM
http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%201/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-20.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%201/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-19.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%201/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-18.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%201/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-17.jpg

You know, no pressure or anything. The GDT tells Navi that some sort of great evil is rising and to go find The Boy Without a Fairy. We are treated to a first person view of Navi flying around the village. It’s a creative use of the game’s camera (Navi “decides” which house to go to by looking around and nodding and runs into a fence), but it basically makes no sense to see it in screenshot form. Just trust me, it’s “cute”.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%201/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-15.jpg

All silent protagonists are heavy sleepers. ALL OF THEM.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%201/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-14.jpg

Now, let’s go save Hyrule! Again, no pressure or anything.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%201/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-13.jpg

Who the hell uses “Yahoo!” as a greeting?

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%201/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-12.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%201/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-11.jpg

This is our pseudo girlfriend, Saria. You can tell she’s our pseudo girlfriend because 1) she’s a girl and 2) she talks to us.

Notice the lighting in this shot. In the first shot, Saria’s fairy is right in front of her and her face is brightly lit. In the second, the fairy is behind her and her face is darker. Again, lighting physics in a 3D game might not seem like a big deal to you today, but back in 1998 this was so hot that it burned.

Let's Explore Kokiri Village! (AKA Pedophile Paradise)

At this point in the game, you’re finally given control of Blondie. You could roam around the village and talk to people (this serves as the tutorial for the game), but we don’t need that. I’m an expert!

First order of business: I need a sword. I can’t save Hyrule unless if I have a pointy to stabbity with. At the southern end of Kokiri Village lies the Forest Training Center, also known as A Few Signs in the Ground. Nestled amongst the signs lies the world famous Hole of Z.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%201/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-10.jpg

Yes, let’s!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%201/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-9.jpg

Notice that when I stand in front of the Hole of Z, the A button icon at the top of the screen changes. That’s because the A button in OoT serves dozens of purposes. Its main purpose is to use Blondie’s evasive maneuvers both in and out of Z Targeting, but it can do a variety of other things depending on the situation. Screw you, Resident Evil 4. This is where context sensitive button presses got its start (I didn’t mean it RE4, I still love you).

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%201/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-8.jpg

Also notice that when I crawl in the hole, the game shifts to first person view. OoT is interesting in that while the bulk of the game is spent in third person, it’s possible to use a first person view at certain points. At any time, you can stop and take a look around by pressing C Up. We’ll talk about more uses for first person view as it comes up.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%201/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-7.jpg

Once inside the mighty Hole of Z, Blondie is temporarily transported to that one scene from the beginning of Raiders of the Lost Ark. After skillfully dodging a giant boulder, Blondie discovers…

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%201/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-6.jpg

The game’s first chest! Who knows what mysteries lie inside?!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%201/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-5.jpg

AH FUCK I’M BLIND

Alixsar
01-04-2009, 11:51 PM
http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%201/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-4.jpg

...but I’m also heavily armed. The Kokiri Sword is the first of four swords we’ll be getting in this game. It’s really only a very large knife, but since Blondie is (generally accepted to be roughly) ten at this point, it’s big enough for him to use as a sword.

Alright, second order of business. I need a shield. After all, if I’m going to save Hyrule, I need something to block all the bad stuff monsters are going to throw at me. Hey, the local shop sells one! I just need 40 rupees.

Guess what gang? It’s time to do the closest thing to level grinding any Zelda game has done ever!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%201/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-3.jpg

After walking through some grass…

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%201/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-2.jpg

…throwing some rocks…

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%201/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-1.jpg

…and taking out his boredom and frustration on signs, Blondie finally has enough money for a Deku Shield!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%201/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV12s.jpg

See? I told you. Alright, third order of business. Time to teach you all how to fight! Please watch the video below.

Video Challenge: The Basics of Combat

Yes, I said video. This is mostly a good ol’ text/picture LP, but thanks to the mad video skillz I picked up doing my Star Fox 64 LP (special thanks again go to Gredlen), I’ll be throwing in some video here and there too.

Let's Watch Some Combat Training! Hooray! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TzpxL1TdYtM)

Anyway, I think that’s quite enough for a first update, wouldn’t you say?

Next Time on A Brief History of Time:

Our first dungeon! The Great Deku Tree is in trouble, and it’s up to Blondie to save him! Blondie learns the hard way that venomous spiders are total assholes and that you should never trust a giant tree with a mustache.

Adrenaline
01-05-2009, 12:14 AM
Ocarina of Time is, without any shadow of a doubt, the best video game ever created.

Alright man chill out a little there.

Parish
01-05-2009, 12:20 AM
Set the standard for facial animation my ass! Mega Man Legends (which arrived well before Ocarina) not only had more expressive characters with far more expressions, but everyone even had accurate lip-synching to actual voiced dialogue. (Something not even Metal Gear Solid managed to do.) Nintendo was already falling behind the curve for presentation with Ocarina.

Merus
01-05-2009, 12:22 AM
the best video game ever created.

That honour clearly goes to some game you've never heard of.

Mightyblue
01-05-2009, 12:25 AM
The only game to give me a migraine with how aggressively brown and green and blurry it is, even with the damned mem expansion.

Adrenaline
01-05-2009, 12:29 AM
Majora's Mask was the one that used the expansion, unless older games somehow were able to use it without me knowing.

Pajaro Pete
01-05-2009, 12:31 AM
http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%201/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-24.jpg

The N64 is capable of rendering 100,000 polygons per second.

Nobuyuki
01-05-2009, 12:43 AM
OoT is a fantastic game, and to me at least every bit as enjoyable to play now as it ever was, but it's not quite the best game ever. Nope, it's a solid third, behind Mario 3 and Suikoden 2. And I'll cut anyone who disagrees with me.

Alixsar
01-05-2009, 12:45 AM
Majora's Mask was the one that used the expansion, unless older games somehow were able to use it without me knowing.

This is fact. You'll notice that the screenshots in this LP are far, far, FAR less blurry than they would be if I used an actual N64. The N64 is one of the rare cases where emulating the system seems to actually improve the quality of the game's graphics. The only problem is that sometimes it flat out doesn't work (Hey, Gamecube Compilation version of Majora's Mask! I'm talking to you!)

Set the standard for facial animation my ass! Mega Man Legends (which arrived well before Ocarina) not only had more expressive characters with far more expressions, but everyone even had accurate lip-synching to actual voiced dialogue. (Something not even Metal Gear Solid managed to do.) Nintendo was already falling behind the curve for presentation with Ocarina.

Alright, fine. It was really good at it, and I never had a Playstation until I got my PS2 and I never bothered to check what Mega Man Legend's release date was. Furthermore, we've only begun to scratch the surface of what this game is capable of in regards to presentation so...yeah!

That honour clearly goes to some game you've never heard of.

No way. That game is way overrated. I know you say it's good, but as a matter of fact, it isn't very good at all. It might even be bad!

Oh, and I know you're all taking issue with this "Best Game Ever" thing, but my entire world view is centered around this, so please stop trying to convince me I'm wrong. You won't.

Merus
01-05-2009, 02:03 AM
I think we can agree that it was good enough for the series to coast along on its formula for a solid decade.

Posaune
01-05-2009, 03:08 AM
I think we can agree that it was good enough for the series to coast along on its formula for a solid decade.

Hooray?

Aquadeo
01-05-2009, 06:09 AM
!!!

I've been naming Link to "Blondie" for as long as I can remember -- a habit which even transferred over my Pokémon Trainer. Good call, sir.

Brickroad
01-05-2009, 08:07 AM
- Unless you all object, I won’t be getting the fourth bottle. It’s tedious to get and you can get the first three extremely easily, so it’s never really needed. If you all want me to I will, but please. I really dun wanna. [/tantrum]

I'm okay with you skipping a bottle as long as you get all 100 Skulltulas.

Balrog
01-05-2009, 08:10 AM
This game and Majora's Mask are the only 3D games that make me physically ill. :(

Adrenaline
01-05-2009, 12:09 PM
I'm fine with anyone calling it the best game ever, it just gets weird when you declare it as so without any doubt.

I'm okay with you skipping a bottle as long as you get all 100 Skulltulas.

Haha. I use the glitch.

Tanto
01-05-2009, 12:29 PM
It blew my mind that you could cut down signs the first time I played this game. If you cut them down near water, the pieces will even float.

Taishi Ci
01-05-2009, 12:47 PM
If I remember correctly, if you cut a sign horizontally in half and then play a certain ocarina tune, the sign will magically reassemble itself. Interesting stuff.

TheSL
01-05-2009, 12:55 PM
I don't know how anyone could call this the best game ever with how empty it is. Also, the lack of the main Zelda theme.

Pajaro Pete
01-05-2009, 12:59 PM
This game and Majora's Mask are the only 3D games that make me physically ill. :(

You guys that keep saying this are such wussies.

Sanagi
01-05-2009, 01:01 PM
Let's get this started properly.

AUTOJUMP = GENIUS

Makkara
01-05-2009, 01:06 PM
I don't know how anyone could call this the best game ever with how empty it is.

Except the Hyrule Field, I think it's plenty full.


Also, the lack of the main Zelda theme.

I never even noticed.

Sanagi
01-05-2009, 01:31 PM
I find the persistent complaints about Ocarina lacking the Zelda theme to be groundless. Koji Kondo put all kinds of variations and allusions to it in the game instead of just mindlessly repeating the piece in its entirety. Which is what a good composer would do.

TheSL
01-05-2009, 01:36 PM
I'd continue on with the reasons I don't like OoT as much as the games that came before it, but I don't want to sully Alixsar's LP. Needless to say, the games that followed it have continued on with a lot of the same things I didn't like about Ocarina (foremost being an insufferable supporting cast [excluding Midna]).

Phantoon
01-05-2009, 03:14 PM
I love this game more than almost anything. But not Majora's Mask. Or Super Metroid. Or Link's Awakening.

McClain
01-05-2009, 06:35 PM
Hell yes.

Love me some Zelda LPs! I'm curious to see how you'll make this special (since I played the game about twice a year until Wind Waker came out!). :)

Dynastic Bird
01-05-2009, 07:51 PM
http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%201/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-23.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%201/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-22.jpg

Christ, look at that nose!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%201/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-21.jpg

I mean SRSLY


Something deep inside this Jewish heart really, really, wants to say "Man he looks Jewish!" What's with us and big noses? Is Miyamoto some kind of anti-semite?

Good start! My relationship with OoT is skewed- I played it after Majora- but it should certainly be interested to see what was originated in OoT.

And hey, your Ogre Battle and Star Fox LPs were great too! Sorry about the flying comment in the Star Fox one by the way >_>. I misread the disclaimer there. And Majora was so much better XD

Bongo Bill
01-05-2009, 09:07 PM
Ever had a look at some of the hi-res texture packs you can plug into your emulator? They replace any textures in the game with custom ones up to four times bigger in each dimension. Not nearly as blurry that way.

Obviously, with this game you might prefer to be more purist about it. Especially because the Ocarina of Time one is still not done. But it may be worth checking out (http://www.emutalk.net/forumdisplay.php?f=110).

Pajaro Pete
01-05-2009, 09:24 PM
The ones for the Kokori Forest look pretty nice.

Alixsar
01-05-2009, 10:36 PM
Episode 2: It’s the Great Deku Tree, Charlie Brown!

Now that we have a sword and shield, we’re ready to go visit the Great Deku Tree. But what’s this? Some chump is blocking the way.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%202/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-48.jpg

Um…

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%202/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-47.jpg

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This Charlie Brown-sounding freak is Mido. It seems that he has a thing for Saria, who in turn has a thing for Blondie, which in turn means Mido is a huge prick. Mido forces you to go get a sword and shield before meeting with the GDT which is basically OoT’s way of saying “Hey, fiddle with the controls until you get the hang of everything!” But we already did all that so we’re ready to move on.

After passing Mido, we run into our very first enemy.

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Deku Babas come in two varieties: active and stationary. The one you see here is the stationary kind and is the weaker of the two. These Babas will simply stay still and wiggle around. If you get close to them, they’ll wiggle into you for half a heart of damage. One good thrust attack (forward and B while Z Targeting) will safely take them out.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%202/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-43.jpg

The good thing about the stationary Babas is that they will always drop Deku Sticks, which are typically needed to solve puzzles. If you ever see a stationary Deku Baba around, you can bet there’s going to be a puzzle involving Deku Sticks nearby.

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http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%202/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-41.jpg

We finally make it to the Great Deku Tree, and it seems that all is not well. The GDT explains that the reason why Blondie has been having nightmares is because there’s a lot of evil floating around these days.

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The GDT asks Blondie to eliminate the curse. Despite having no prior training in…well, anything, and having no knowledge of curses, Blondie agrees to help. He’s just a nice guy, I guess…? The GDT opens its mouth (?) and we have our first dungeon!

Inside The Great Deku Tree

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Immediately upon entering the tree, we are accosted by some active Deku Babas. These enemies will lunge at you, but are still pretty damn weak. Simply guard their lunge and hit them once.

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This will cause them to revert to the stationary Baba, where another hit will kill them. After killing the Baba, we are given our first batch of Deku Nuts.

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Deku Nuts are possibly the most pointless item in the game. They…sort of work like a flash grenade. The idea is that you throw one near an enemy and it stuns or blinds them. The reality is that you throw one near an enemy and it doesn’t do a god damn thing. They’re useful in a few places, and they’re one of the few items Blondie can use regardless of his age (OMG spoilarz), but we won’t be using them much once we get some better equipment.

Hell, I probably won’t even use them when I don’t have better equipment anyway. They’re just that pointless.

Alixsar
01-05-2009, 10:37 PM
http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%202/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-33.jpg

After climbing up some vines on the wall to reach a higher area, we find our first batch of Skullwalltulas. Skullwalltulas are, appropriately enough, Skulltulas which cling to walls. We’ll be seeing plenty of these and other kinds of Skulltulas before the dungeon is through. The only way to eliminate Skullwalltulas is with the Slingshot we don’t have yet. We’ll be passing them for now.

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But not before getting this dungeon’s map. The map is…uh, well, a map. A rudimentary version will now appear in the lower right of our HUD, but a more detailed version can be accessed from the start menu.

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Blondie finds a door, and after passing through it, some steel bars close behind him. Get used to this. It happens a lot. I mean, a lot. Maybe every other room or so. Doors hate Blondie.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%202/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-30.jpg

A Deku Scrub! Deku Scrubs are fairly harmless. Simply stand still, wait for them to shoot a Deku Nut out of their mouth at you, and then reflect it back with your shield. Thanks to my awesome skillz, I was able to wait until the last second and reflect this particular nut back. It was awesome; you should’ve seen it.

Some Deku Scrubs are actually Business Scrubs and will sell items to you once you hit them...usually at a significant mark-up. It can be helpful if you’re in a bind, though (see: next dungeon).

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%202/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-29.jpg

Others, like this one, will give you tips and hints once defeated.

Still others will not do anything because they’re god damned good for nothing freeloaders who still live at their parent’s place.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%202/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-28.jpg

The Scrub’s tip explains how jumping works in OoT. Simply run off a ledge and you will jump. Yes, it seems suicidal…but apparently it’s not!

It’s also another great example of OoT’s innovations regarding control. As if Z Targeting and contextual button presses weren’t enough, now we have contextual movement control. The real brilliance of the system is that not only do buttons/movements serve multiple purposes but they do so in an extremely organic way. This is something that developers struggle with even today but OoT was doing it back in 1998.

It’s also how you solve this puzzle. Simply jump onto that brown block and jump off onto the ledge. This will net you…

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%202/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-27.jpg

The Slingshot! Hooray! Now we can kill the Skullwalltulas and climb up one more floor. The only problem is that there’s no way to get back…

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%202/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-26.jpg

Or is there? Oh Zelda, always teaching us how to properly use items within seconds of getting them. Will you ever change?

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%202/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-25.jpg

You may have noticed that when I was targeting the ladder, I was using Z Targeting and thus was in third person. If you hit the C Button you have the Slingshot assigned to while not in Z Targeting, you will go into a first person view. The Skullwalltulas are too far away to be Z Targeted, so this is how you have to kill them in order to proceed.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%202/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-24.jpg

After climbing to the top floor, Blondie runs into his first regular Skulltula. These spiders a serious pain…not because they’re hard, but because they take forever to die. Here we see the Skulltula’s invulnerable side. If you wait a second, the Skulltula will rotate and his soft underbelly will be visible. One Deku Seed or one Jump Attack is enough to finish it off, but it really is annoying having to wait for it to expose itself before you can do anything.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%202/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-23.jpg

Remember! Deku Sticks can be lit on fire and lighting torches is good! Congratulations! You’ve solved roughly 90% of the puzzles in this dungeon!

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Worth noting in this room is our first Compass. Each dungeon has a Map and a Compass. The Compass reveals where all items are on the map. This will be the last time I make a big deal about the Map and Compass. Yes, they’re important…but not so important that I’m going to take time to make a big deal about each one I find.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%202/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-21.jpg

Also in this room is a Gold Skulltula. Once killed, it leaves behind some sort of Token. I wonder what it does…?

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%202/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-20.jpg

Back in the main room, Blondie contemplates suicide. After deciding that all this b.s. wasn’t worth putting up with, Blondie jumped off from the highest floor in order to end it all.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%202/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-19.jpg

Unfortunately, Blondie now has enough force from falling from such a great distance that he’s able to break the webbing on the first floor and land in a pool of water in the tree’s…um, basement I guess. Oops! Try again, Blondie!

Alixsar
01-05-2009, 10:40 PM
http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%202/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-18.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%202/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-17.jpg

This next puzzle is fairly simple. Light a torch, run over the slightly submerged platform, and burn some webbing.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%202/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-16.jpg

This leads to another Deku Scrub with a hint that actually is extremely important. Twenty-three is number one!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%202/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-15.jpg

Of course, it also would’ve been nice if he had told me that that eye works as a switch and is activated by being hit by a Deku Seed or Arrow. But, you know, whatever.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%202/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-14.jpg

After another set of puzzles introduces us to the game’s diving mechanic (press A in water to dive) and the game’s pushing mechanic (press A near a block to grab it and then use the control stick to push/pull, push forward and A to climb on top of it), Blondie runs into the last enemy type we’ll see in this dungeon: the Gohma Larva. When they turn red, get ready to either block or dodge. Two hits or one Jump Attack will take care of them.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%202/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-13.jpg

Fun Fact: You can see the larva hanging on the ceiling before they jump down!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%202/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-12.jpg

After crawling through a hole, we end up back in the room we were in after Blondie attempted suicide. Only now we can push a block down into the water, which enables us to light a torch and then burn a piece of webbing in the ground.

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This leads us to the three guardians the Deku Scrub spoke of earlier. Twenty-three is number one! After defeating the Scrubs in the proper order (middle, right, left), the Scrubs reveal how to beat the next boss.

But that’s okay; I already know how to do that.

Video Challenge: Parasitic Armored Arachnid Gohma

Let's kill our first boss, the stupidly easy giant spider Gohma! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2jWcC1GFpA)

The Game’s Entire Backstory

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After completely demolishing Gohma, Blondie is transported via blue light back to the GDT. It’s never really explained what the blue light is or how it gets there, so just use your imagination.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%202/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-9.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%202/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-8.jpg

I know that nose!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%202/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-7.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%202/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-6.jpg

Alixsar
01-05-2009, 10:41 PM
Video Challenge: Hyrule's Creation Myth

Let's learn how the world began! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTYg7ylJKU8)

Meanwhile, Back in Kokiri Forest!

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The GDT explains that while we broke the curse, the curse is going to kill him anyway.

…Yeah, I don’t get it either. But more importantly, we need to stop The Nose from getting his hands on the Triforce. Our first step is to head to Hyrule Castle and try and meet with Princess Zelda.

Man, I hope that my efforts to stop The Nose won’t accidentally help him in any way.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%202/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-3.jpg

Before passing away, the GDT gives us the greenest MacGuffin (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MacGuffin) of them all: the Kokiri’s Emerald!

Like A Link to the Past before it, Ocarina of Time has you collect three mini-MacGuffins before you go about collecting the Legit MacGuffins in other dungeons. On the positive side of things, after collecting the three mini-MacGuffins, we’re given the first Legit MacGuffin.

Which all seems a bit silly, doesn’t it?

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%202/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-2.jpg

A single red leaf falls…

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%202/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-1.jpg

…and then he turns to stone? Damn, that’s some curse!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%202/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV12s.jpg

Let’s-a-go!

Next Time on A Brief History of Time:

After saying goodbye to long time semi-girlfriend Saria, Blondie heads to Hyrule Castle to meet with the Princess. Guest starring an underaged love interest, a giant owl, and three hundred billion skeletons.

Reader's Notice

I know I said I was planning roughly one update a week, and now I've done two in less than 24 hours. Please don't get used to this. I wrote the first two before Jan. 4th, so I had them ready to go. I simply can't keep up with updating every single day. I will be updating as much as possible though; you all have my word. I appreciate all the interest everyone is showing as well. I hope you all enjoy it.

And no, I won't be upgrading any textures or anything. Sorry Bill but this LP is already very time intensive. The last thing I need is to factor in technical problems for upgrading textures.

Sanagi
01-05-2009, 11:01 PM
Speaking as president-for-life of the world, I would like to declare a moratorium on doors slamming shut behind you in video games. It's become a terrible cliche, and it usually makes no sense.

I probably played through this game three or four times before I found a decent use for the deku nuts, and I can't even remember what it is now.

Tanto
01-05-2009, 11:08 PM
Fun Fact: You can see the larva hanging on the ceiling before they jump down!

They can also be shot down before they even drop with the slingshot or boomerang. The Master Quest remake of this dungeon is swarming with Gohma larvae, as I recall.

Alixsar
01-05-2009, 11:14 PM
They can also be shot down before they even drop with the slingshot or boomerang. The Master Quest remake of this dungeon is swarming with Gohma larvae, as I recall.

You recall semi-correctly (I don't know if "swarming" is the right word, but there are a lot more). It's a shame that they only show up in this one room during the regular version of this dungeon, since they're easily the most interesting enemies you face inside the Great Deku Tree.

Kishi
01-05-2009, 11:19 PM
http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%202/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-9.jpg

It was nice of him not to just say "sand monkey."

Mightyblue
01-05-2009, 11:27 PM
I suppose bringing up the jumping thing again (seriously) would get me banned, wouldn't it?

I think that was one of the few times where a forum thread devolved into 'net screeching.

Pajaro Pete
01-05-2009, 11:55 PM
Speaking as president-for-life of the world, I would like to declare a moratorium on doors slamming shut behind you in video games. It's become a terrible cliche, and it usually makes no sense.

It's part of the curse, you see, because THAT WICKED MAN FROM THE DESERT knew that people walking through the Deku Tree's Vajay-jay would have to go through the doorways that... exist... in the Deku Tree's... vajay-jay... and, um, so he installed metal bars that'll keep the doors closed...

...why wouldn't he keep them closed from the outside, thereby preventing Link from getting into the rooms in the first place...?

...

Are you there God? It's me, psyduck.jpg

Adrenaline
01-06-2009, 12:50 AM
I like the video/picture mixture. I have half a mind to play these games again.

Bongo Bill
01-06-2009, 01:21 AM
Heh heh, you've got the Deku Tree's nuts.

Merus
01-06-2009, 06:58 AM
Can anyone seriously explain how come the Deku Tree has torches inside him? Either they're pre-existing, or the great mastermind (or, as I'm going to call him, the Goddamn Muslim) put torches inside a giant tree, moved them carefully away from the walls, and then set up puzzles involving lighting them.

Which I guess is why he gets beaten by a ten-year-old boy.

Tanto
01-06-2009, 11:06 AM
Can anyone seriously explain how come the Deku Tree has torches inside him? Either they're pre-existing, or the great mastermind (or, as I'm going to call him, the Goddamn Muslim) put torches inside a giant tree, moved them carefully away from the walls, and then set up puzzles involving lighting them.

Which I guess is why he gets beaten by a ten-year-old boy.

The thing I could never figure out is why there's a Dungeon Map of Jabu-Jabu's Belly. I guess it's another of those "You're not supposed to think about this, idiot!" moments.

Makkara
01-06-2009, 11:20 AM
The thing I could never figure out is why there's a Dungeon Map of Jabu-Jabu's Belly.

To the Zora, charting their deity's innards is a kind of worship.

alexb
01-07-2009, 02:08 PM
I find the persistent complaints about Ocarina lacking the Zelda theme to be groundless. Koji Kondo put all kinds of variations and allusions to it in the game instead of just mindlessly repeating the piece in its entirety. Which is what a good composer would do.

I admit that it bothered me a lot when this game came out. All was good when I heard the nice, downbeat variation on the main theme in Majora's Mask, though. But you'll note Nintendo hasn't made the same mistake twice. They had the foresight to put the Legend of Zelda theme in its entirety in the intro to Wind Waker and the credits to Twilight Princess.

Sky Render
01-07-2009, 06:58 PM
Isn't it funny to think that this game was considered the pinnacle of graphical prowess back in 1998? Nowadays, it really shows its age visually. I never could get into the game, either, mostly because inverse-aiming with an analog stick feels about as natural and intuitive as typing with boxing gloves on*, and about as accurate at times too.

Still, it's not a bad game. Not as great as some call it, if you ask me, and it definitely can't hold a candle to Twilight Princess in my book (I can already hear the Ocarina of Time Defense Force gathering...), but it was definitely an impressive first effort. I can't see how they could really have done better than this with the hardware they worked on, and if that's not a testament to its relative quality, I don't know what is.

* - Strong Bad was excluded from that survey, obviously.

Kishi
01-07-2009, 07:15 PM
Isn't it funny to think that this game was considered the pinnacle of graphical prowess back in 1998? Nowadays, it really shows its age visually.

I found it rather ugly even back then, honestly -- especially the glaring 2D objects in otherwise 3D environments (the "walls" of Hyrule Field particularly come to mind). Just two years later, Majora's Mask was a phenomenal improvement.

Makkara
01-08-2009, 12:51 AM
Isn't it funny to think that this game was considered the pinnacle of graphical prowess back in 1998? Nowadays, it really shows its age visually.

Sure, but I can still see why I found it so beautiful back then. I do find it a bit difficult to play now, though, because of the low (but impressively stable) framerate. Still, remember Navi's first person flight through Kokiri Village at the start? So amazing.

Tanto
01-08-2009, 10:33 AM
I found it rather ugly even back then, honestly -- especially the glaring 2D objects in otherwise 3D environments (the "walls" of Hyrule Field particularly come to mind). Just two years later, Majora's Mask was a phenomenal improvement.

Yeah, it's really amazing how much better Majora's Mask was graphically. (Granted, it used the Expansion Pack, but still.) Take a look at the Bottles: In Ocarina, they look like jagged, crystal-shaped shards of glass. In Majora, they look like... well, bottles.

Sanagi
01-08-2009, 11:35 AM
What ages this game for me isn't the graphics, it's the general N64 lag to every movement. It's hard for me to go back to Ocarina, though I still hold it in high regard for its innovations.

Phantoon
01-08-2009, 04:50 PM
The graphics might not be so great now, but the art design is. One of my favourite views in videogames is standing on the fence by the Shadow Temple looking at the graveyard. Particularly good in rain.

Sky Render
01-08-2009, 08:42 PM
Sure, but I can still see why I found it so beautiful back then. I do find it a bit difficult to play now, though, because of the low (but impressively stable) framerate. Still, remember Navi's first person flight through Kokiri Village at the start? So amazing.

Something to keep in mind: I went into the PS1/N64 era horribly spoiled. I was a PC gamer from 1991 to 1998 (yes, I missed the 16-bit console era entirely; not like I wanted to, either). By the time I got into consoles again back in 1999, I'd already seen the likes of Half-Life.

So it's not surprising that N64 and PS1 graphics weren't wowing me, or that Ocarina of Time failed to grab my attention with nifty camera tricks like Navi's flight to the village. I'd already seen stuff like that done as far back as 1996 on the PC.

Merus
01-09-2009, 03:35 AM
True, the fliythrough probably wouldn't do anything much for kids who'd already gone through the train journey that kicks off Half-Life, an impressive moment in its own way.

Adrenaline
01-09-2009, 12:52 PM
Well, they only would have seen the train sequence four days earlier, so it might still leave an impression.

Alixsar
01-10-2009, 08:43 PM
Episode 3: Leavin’ Home Ain’t Easy…

Heeding the Great Deku Tree’s dying words, Blondie decides to leave Kokiri Village to pursue a career in Spelunking and Princess Saving.

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It appears that the Great Deku Tree’s death has not gone unnoticed by the Kokiri. Mido blames us, mostly because he’s a giant douche. But whatever; I’m not concerned with small fries like Mido. The Nose is out there and he needs to be stopped!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%203/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-28.jpg

After heading through the exit in the western portion of the village, Blondie is stopped by his pseudo-girlfriend, Saria.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%203/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-27.jpg

[/foreshadowing]

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%203/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-26.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%203/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-25.jpg

Saria gives Blondie an oddly shaped yam with holes in it to remind him of their friendship.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%203/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-24.jpg

It’s apparently some kind of yam-instrument called an “ocarina”. If you were like me, you’d never heard of it before this game either.

The Ocarina is integral to OoT’s puzzle solving. Once the Ocarina is brought up, a music bar appears. Notes can be played by hitting the C-buttons and A button in different patterns. You can also bend the pitch of a note by moving the control stick, which serves absolutely no purpose whatsoever.

As the game goes on, we will learn certain “songs” that serve different purposes. A song is a preset pattern that, once played, will produce certain effects. Before the next update is done, we’ll learn our first song: Zelda’s Lullaby. This song will help identify us as having a connection to the Royal Family.

It will also repair signs that I cut in half, which is good because I cut signs in half at every possible opportunity.

But that’s just the beginning. By the end of the game, we’ll learn a multitude of songs which will enable us to warp around Hyrule. There’s a song that enables us to manipulate the flow of time, summon a horse, and more!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%203/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-23.jpg

Saria continues to look as though she needs some Pepto Bismol, and Blondie runs off towards…

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%203/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-22.jpg

Hyrule Field serves as the overworld we know and love from older Zelda titles. One of the main criticisms aimed at OoT/Hyrule Field in general is that it’s more barren than previous Zelda title’s overworlds. This is undeniably true. However, Hyrule Field brings a whole new set of features to the table instead.

First of all, it’s worth noting that Hyrule Field still has a fair amount of secret areas to find in it. It may not look like the overworlds of old, but there are still secrets to be found here. Secondly, Hyrule Field is a massive hub area that takes multiple in-game days to cross. It delivered a sense of scale that simply could not be found in any other game. Now that we have Twilight Princess and Wind Waker, OoT’s overworld seems tiny in comparison. But at the time, it was (and still is) easy to get lost in an overworld as massive as this one. Lastly, while it’s true that there are very few enemies in the overworld…is that really a bad thing? Did anyone really enjoy having to hunt for hearts before entering a dungeon because they’d gotten badly damaged on the way there? Did anyone really enjoy having traveling from Point A to Point B take twice as long and/or be twice as dangerous because of the enemies you encountered?

OoT takes a “quality not quantity” approach to enemy encounters. Rather than inundate the player with enemies in the overworld, enemies are primarily found in dungeons and intermediary areas like Death Mountain Trail and Lake Hylia. The overworld exists primarily as a large hub to explore, and each outlying area serves its own unique purpose and has its own feel. It’s a different approach, and one that I enjoy far more than older Zelda’s constant barrage of mindless enemies and no clear distinction between areas.

After taking a few steps into the field, a mysterious stranger appears!

Not the One From Harry Potter

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%203/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-21.jpg

This is Kaepora Gaebora, a talking owl of some sort. At certain points in the game, Kaepora will show up and offer Blondie advice. He never properly introduces himself as Kaepora Gaebora, but certain items called Gossip Stones tell us that this is his name later in the game. These Gossip Stones also mention who Kaepora really is, but it’d be a shame to ruin it for you now.

This is not Kaepora’s first appearance in a Zelda game. In Link’s Awakening, an unnamed owl appeared to help Link in a similar fashion. This owl helped Link awaken the Wind Fish, and was later revealed to be the guardian of the Wind Fish. Of course, the rest of the game is revealed to have been a dream that Link had while floating adrift in the ocean…but considering that most of the enemies in LA are born from Link’s previous adventures, does that mean that Link’s Awakening comes chronologically after OoT? Is the owl in LA a representation of Link’s memories of meeting Kaepora in Hyrule as a child in OoT?

For those of you who aren’t familiar, the Zelda games do follow a specific timeline. Series creator and all around Nerd God Shigeru Miyamoto and current head of the Zelda series Eiji Aonuma have said so multiple times. The only real question is just what the hell is that timeline? Nintendo has not made the official timeline public and the issue continues to cause debate amongst the Zelda fanbase to this day. I briefly mentioned before that there’s almost no way I can finish this LP without addressing the timeline question (especially considering OoT’s place in the timeline), but let’s hold off on that for now.

Geez, that huge tangent just because of a damn owl. I need to learn how to edit, huh?

Anyway, Kaepora gives us some words of encouragement and points us in the direction of Hyrule Castle.

Alixsar
01-10-2009, 08:47 PM
The Dangers of Hyrule Field

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%203/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-8.jpg

Hey, a pineapple!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%203/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-7.jpg

Um…maybe not. This is actually OoT’s take on a Peahat (http://zelda.wikia.com/wiki/Peahat), and I’ll be damned if it isn’t extremely brutal. Peahats are actually quite easy to defeat once you have the Boomerang…but we don’t. There’s no reason to ever fight one except for doing it just for the hell of it, so we’ll be running away for now.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%203/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-20.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%203/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-19.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%203/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-18.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%203/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-17.jpg

After following the path towards Hyrule Castle, OoT’s day/night cycle begins to rear its ugly head. It’s impossible to get to Hyrule Castle from Kokiri Village in one day, so we’re stuck waiting outside the gates of Hyrule Castle Town until morning.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%203/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-6.jpg

At night time, Hyrule Field becomes a playground for Stalchildren. Stalchildren are fairly easy to defeat (one Jump Attack or two regular attacks will do them in) and spawn in groups of two.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%203/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-16.jpg

After defeating several groups of Stalchildren, a larger Stalchild appears. Although being twice the size of Blondie and requiring almost a whole night’s worth of Stalchild-slaying to cause him to appear, there is nothing special about the giant Stalchild. The only thing different about him is that after killing him, Blondie is guaranteed to find a blue rupee (which is worth five rupees). I guess that’s something, right?

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%203/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-15.jpg

Morning finally comes and the gate opens.

Protip: walk up the chains of the gate and jump towards the middle of the bridge. There are actually three red rupees hidden at the top of the gate! You’ll need to jump from each side to get all three, but it’s a quick way to get some money really early in the game.

By the way, I never really explained what rupees are, huh? Oops. Well, rupees are the currency that is used in Hyrule. Green rupees are worth one, blue are worth five, red are worth twenty, purple are worth fifty, and gold are worth two hundred. Later installments add an almost ridiculous number of rupee colors but OoT is limited to these five. There’s technically a hidden, sixth type…but we’ll talk about that later.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%203/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-14.jpg

Immediately after entering Hyrule Castle Town, you’ll notice a door to the north. Inside you’ll find this room full of pots. If you’re ever desperately low on money, you can always come here and smash pots over and over until you have a full wallet. Another Gold Skulltula can be found in one of the boxes at the north end of the room. After killing it and maxing out his wallet, Blondie leaves and heads west towards the main portion of Hyrule Castle Town.

Alixsar
01-10-2009, 08:48 PM
Let’s Take a Tour of Castle Town!

Hyrule Castle Town serves as a hub for Blondie’s adventures. Multiple quests can be undertaken here, and supplies can be picked up as well…at a significant mark-up, of course.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%203/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-13.jpg

1. Running Guy: A random villager. Hyrule Castle Town is full of random villagers like this who don’t have anything to offer other than just being there.

2. Crowds of Buyers: Another Crowd can be found at another stall in Castle Town. These characters don’t do anything except constantly bicker over items all day. They’re mostly just there to give the town some “flavor”, like Running Guy.

3. Laughing Guys: These characters serve as the unofficial Town Criers of Castle Town. They don’t really do much. You should be noticing a pattern with this first screenshot: nothing in this section of Castle Town matters.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%203/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-11.jpg

4. Shooting Gallery: Finally, something useful! As a child, Blondie can take his Slingshot into the Shooting Gallery and play a target shooting minigame.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%203/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-9.jpg

This monstrously lipped freak runs the gallery. His face still upsets me to this day.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%203/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-5.jpg

Blondie is given 20 Deku Seeds and instructed to shoot rupees as they appear. It can be a bit difficult towards the end, but it’s completely worth going to the trouble to beat this thing.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%203/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-4.jpg

See? Now that we have a bigger seed bag, we have more Seeds available to use at one time. There’s still one more seed bag upgrade to get, but we’re not quite at that point in the game yet. Later, once we get the Fairy Bow, we’ll be heading back to this same freak to do this over with the Bow. That will get us our first Quiver upgrade.

5. This is the Happy Mask Shop. The salesman here will let us borrow masks and then sell them to people. After selling four masks, we’re given access to a very special mask…but we’ll talk more about this in an update or two.

6. This is Hyrule Castle, our destination.

7. This is a girl. Hmm. She looks a bit out of place. Maybe we should talk to her?

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%203/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-10.jpg

8. This is the Temple of Time. We have no need to go here now, but we’ll be visiting here quite often in the future.

9. This is the Potion Shop. Once we have a bottle, we’ll be able to come here and purchase potions and other bottle-able items. There is no need to ever visit here. You’re a god damn fool if you pay for potions.

10. This is the Item Shop. Again, you’re a fool if you buy anything here. The only purpose for coming here would be to buy a replacement Hylian Shield if yours gets eaten by a Like-Like, but that’s about it.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%203/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-3.jpg

11. This is the Treasure Chest Mini-game, which is only open at night. It’s essentially unwinnable until you learn how to cheat much later in the game.

12. This is access to the Back Alley of Castle Town. There are a few houses and one particular quest can be started here. There’s also a shop that sells Bombchus, but we’ll talk about that much later. Bombchus are kind of useless anyway so…you know, whatever.

13. This is the Bombchu Bowling Alley.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%203/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-12.jpg

It, uh, isn’t open yet.

Not to be Confused with Marin and Tarin

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%203/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-2.jpg

Really? That might be important if your dog were somehow to go missing! Well, enough window shopping and chit-chatting; let’s move on.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%203/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-1.jpg

Blondie is a very courageous youth. You can tell because he’s willing to hit on complete strangers even though he's only 10. I guess it helps that this stranger is also 10...but whatever. This is Malon, a young lass from Lon Lon Ranch. They have milk there! Blondie’s love life is going to have to wait unfortunately...we’ve got a kingdom to save!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%203/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV12s.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%203/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-33.jpg

Just after entering the area, an upside down-headed Kaepora stops Blondie and explains how the passage of time works in certain areas. In the area in front of Hyrule Castle, time flows normally…but inside a town like Kakariko Village/Hyrule Castle Town/Kokori Village, time stands still. Thanks for the lesson!

Blondie is turned away at the gates of Hyrule Castle. It is possible to begin sneaking into the castle, but first let’s head back to Castle Town. Upon arriving, it becomes apparent that Malon is gone. Hmm…well, let’s turn around and head back.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%203/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-32.jpg

Somehow, Malon crossed paths with us and we didn’t notice. Go figure. This is one of the few sections in this game that makes absolutely no sense to me.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%203/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-31.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%203/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-30.jpg

Before leaving, Malon gives us an egg for no clearly discernible reason. Again, go figure.

As unlikely as it may seem, we now have everything we need in order to break into Hyrule Castle and visit the Princess. The next section of the game is fairly story intensive, so rather than inundate you all with text I’m going to cut this one off right here.

Next Time on A Brief History of Time:

After doing his best Solid Snake impersonation, Blondie meets with Princess Zelda. It seems that the Deku Tree was right; all is not well in Hyrule! The Nose is up to no good, and it’s up to two precocious youngsters to save the day!

Kishi
01-10-2009, 10:14 PM
I like how the Stalchildren only appear if you travel off the roads, just like in Zelda II.


You can also bend the pitch of a note by moving the control stick, which serves absolutely no purpose whatsoever.

No in-game purpose, but allows you to play actual songs, which was a popular thing to do when the game was new.


But at the time, it was (and still is) easy to get lost in an overworld as massive as this one.

Really? It's just a big circle with a ranch in the middle and exits along the perimeter.


These Gossip Stones also mention who Kaepora really is, but it’d be a shame to ruin it for you now.

Spoilers: He's not Rauru.


This is not Kaepora’s first appearance in a Zelda game. In Link’s Awakening, an unnamed owl appeared to help Link in a similar fashion. This owl helped Link awaken the Wind Fish, and was later revealed to be the guardian of the Wind Fish. Of course, the rest of the game is revealed to have been a dream that Link had while floating adrift in the ocean…but considering that most of the enemies in LA are born from Link’s previous adventures, does that mean that Link’s Awakening comes chronologically after OoT? Is the owl in LA a representation of Link’s memories of meeting Kaepora in Hyrule as a child in OoT?

Link's Awakening is a direct sequel to A Link to the Past, and ALttP Link isn't the same person as Ocarina Link. It's undeniable that Kaepora was inspired by the LA owl, but that doesn't mean there's an actual in-universe relationship between them.


Protip: walk up the chains of the gate and jump towards the middle of the bridge. There are actually three red rupees hidden at the top of the gate! You’ll need to jump from each side to get all three, but it’s a quick way to get some money really early in the game.

I think you're meant to go up there as the bridge goes upright at night, in which case you just walk across its edge to get the Rupees. It's just that they're still there in the daytime, too.


Somehow, Malon crossed paths with us and we didn’t notice. Go figure. This is one of the few sections in this game that makes absolutely no sense to me.

She also appears if you get caught trying to sneak around the guards, which is probably, again, what's "supposed" to happen. In that case, you can just assume she came in behind you.

I'm lovin' this, Alix. Keep going!

Makkara
01-11-2009, 03:39 AM
7. This is a girl.

:O


http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%203/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-1.jpg

Blondie is a very courageous youth. You can tell because he’s willing to hit on complete strangers even though he's only 10.

He can't be doing a very good job of it if she thinks he's a fairy boy.

spineshark
01-11-2009, 04:10 AM
By the way, I never really explained what rupees are, huh? Oops. Well, rupees are the currency that is used in Hyrule. Green rupees are worth one, blue are worth five, red are worth twenty, purple are worth fifty, and gold are worth two hundred.
For the authentic experience, you should make sure to write this again any time a chest you open contains money.

I've never been too fond of this game, though it was the first Zelda I played and led to me playing a bunch of the others, so I don't hate it or anything.

PapillonReel
01-11-2009, 04:25 AM
This may just be my memory failing me, but can't you get the first Deku Stick upgrade around this point?

Some more notes:

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%203/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-17.jpg

After following the path towards Hyrule Castle, OoT’s day/night cycle begins to rear its ugly head. It’s impossible to get to Hyrule Castle from Kokiri Village in one day, so we’re stuck waiting outside the gates of Hyrule Castle Town until morning.

Actually, you can make it to Hyrule Castle during the day on your first trip - If you make a straight line for the gate as soon as you're out of Kokiri Forest (and after taking to the Owl too, I guess) you can make it into Hyrule Castle Town just as the gate closes behind you. I've done it several times, so it can be done.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%203/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-15.jpg

Morning finally comes and the gate opens.

Protip: walk up the chains of the gate and jump towards the middle of the bridge. There are actually three red rupees hidden at the top of the gate! You’ll need to jump from each side to get all three, but it’s a quick way to get some money really early in the game.

Alternatively, you can wait for the gate rises during the night and walk along the tip, collecting them all in one go. It's a great way to make a lot of money early on in the game, that's for sure.

Bongo Bill
01-11-2009, 06:05 AM
You can also hold down the R button when playing the ocarina to increase the pitch by half a step!

Tanto
01-11-2009, 10:50 AM
I've never trusted that owl. How does he know where you are all the time? He must be a spy.

This may just be my memory failing me, but can't you get the first Deku Stick upgrade around this point?

You can, but there's no point to it: You have to go back to the Lost Woods before you have to use Deku Sticks again anyway. Besides, it's not like you need more than one Deku Stick to beat this game anyway...

Pajaro Pete
01-11-2009, 12:41 PM
I've never trusted that owl. How does he know where you are all the time? He must be a spy.

I never trust anything that can turn its head 180 degrees.

Merus
01-11-2009, 01:15 PM
It’s essentially unwinnable until you learn how to cheat much later in the game.

I managed to win once without the cheat. The odds are 1/32 - not that bad, by game standards.

Adrenaline
01-11-2009, 02:35 PM
Actually, you can make it to Hyrule Castle during the day on your first trip - If you make a straight line for the gate as soon as you're out of Kokiri Forest (and after taking to the Owl too, I guess) you can make it into Hyrule Castle Town just as the gate closes behind you. I've done it several times, so it can be done.

It's even easier if you run backwards, Link's fastest mode of travel without a horse. Or the bunny mask.

Bongo Bill
01-11-2009, 04:18 PM
It's even easier if you run backwards, Link's fastest mode of travel without a horse. Or the bunny mask.

I seem to recall the bunny hood only made you go faster in Majora's Mask. Might be wrong, though.

Coinspinner
01-11-2009, 06:54 PM
I seem to recall the bunny hood only made you go faster in Majora's Mask. Might be wrong, though.

Correct.

McClain
01-14-2009, 11:34 PM
I seem to recall the bunny hood only made you go faster in Majora's Mask. Might be wrong, though.

Best mask in the game. I keep it in a permanent C-button slot. I find playing OoT painfully slow after using that for 90% of MM.

Ruik
01-15-2009, 02:16 AM
This game has apparently stuck with me so much that just looking at the screen pics of the world transitioning to night caused me to be able to hear the howling marking the transition and then the sounds of the skeletons climbing out of the ground.

spineshark
01-15-2009, 02:20 AM
Best mask in the game. I keep it in a permanent C-button slot. I find playing OoT painfully slow after using that for 90% of MM.
It's overall very convenient and useful, but my favorite mask has to be the Bomb Mask, which allows you to explode your face. The best part is that you can avoid damage from the explosion (or at least mitigate it, I don't remember anymore), like any other bomb, by putting your shield up.

Ruik
01-15-2009, 04:19 AM
It's overall very convenient and useful, but my favorite mask has to be the Bomb Mask, which allows you to explode your face. The best part is that you can avoid damage from the explosion (or at least mitigate it, I don't remember anymore), like any other bomb, by putting your shield up.

http://i95.photobucket.com/albums/l142/d1r3/the_more_you_know.jpg

Adrenaline
01-15-2009, 11:29 AM
This game has apparently stuck with me so much that just looking at the screen pics of the world transitioning to night caused me to be able to hear the howling marking the transition and then the sounds of the skeletons climbing out of the ground.

Don't forget the chains of the gate rattling as it's raised.

Alixsar
01-15-2009, 03:27 PM
Episode 4: A New Adventure Awaits!

Despite it being completely insane to do so, Blondie is heeding the final words of a giant mustachioed tree by sneaking into Hyrule Castle. The whole thing seems like a practical joke, doesn’t it? In his dying breath, the Great Deku Tree sends Blondie on a panty raid. Luckily for Blondie, we met a young lass named Malon who also needs Blondie to sneak into the castle. Even if the GDT is just making stuff up, he might get some sort of reward from her at the very least. Premarital/Underage Sex, maybe? That's a twofer!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%204/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-39.jpg

After climbing some vines next to where Malon gave us a Weird Egg, we find this mysterious stone. This is a Gossip Stone. If you hit it with your sword it will tell you the current time. After running some errands for the Happy Mask Shop, you can get a mask that lets you communicate with these stones. This is how you learn a lot of tips and interesting tidbits about Hyrule and its inhabitants. You can also screw around with the stones in a variety of ways. Your sword makes them jiggle, whereas detonating a bomb near them causes them to fly into outer space. No, I'm not kidding. Yes, it's a bit silly. This is just the first of many that we’ll be seeing in our adventures.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%204/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-38.jpg

Translation: This is not a dead end. We need bombs before we can break through the “dead end” so we’ll be leaving this area alone for now.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%204/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-37.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%204/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-36.jpg

The trick in this area is look around and see which way the castle guards are facing. Apparently they have no peripheral vision whatsoever. As long as you don’t get too close and make sure to stay out of their direct line of sight, you’ll be fine.

...Not that it matters if you get caught, anyway. The guards will simply throw you out and then you have to start over. It’s hard to find good help these days AMIRITE

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%204/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-35.jpg

After swimming through Hyrule Castle’s moat, we find this fat ass. This is Not Mario, the owner of Lon Lon Ranch. After dropping off some shipments of milk at the castle’s service entrance, he decided to take a nap. See that small hole where the water is coming out? That’s where we need to go. The crates of milk will give us enough height if we stack them on top of each other…but Not Mario is in the way. Hmm.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%204/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-34.jpg

After spending an entire night running in circles out of boredom, Blondie’s Weird Egg hatches. Well, technically roosters are the ones that wake people up in the morning…but whatever, a chicken will work too. It always confused me that in this scene it calls it a chicken, but everywhere else they’re referred to as Cuccos. Of course, if this is the biggest translation error your game has, you’re probably in pretty good shape.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%204/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-33.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%204/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-32.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%204/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-31.jpg

In typical “I’m the comic relief NPC!”-fashion, Not Mario runs off. After all, his much smaller daughter has red hair, so she presumably has a temper too! And boy is she gonna be angry! I’ll bet she’s gonna tan his hide! HAHAHA I hate my life

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%204/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-30.jpg

Well, whatever. Now that he’s out of the way, we can stack those crates, make the jump, and crawl into the Castle Courtyard. Now it's time to engage in some…

Tactical Hide and Seek Action

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%204/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-29.jpg

This next section is the most annoying part of the game. I mean, srsly guyz, it is really really annoying. Similar to guard dodging outside, you have to dodge peripheral vision-less guards in much smaller (and mazelike) areas.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%204/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-28.jpg

It’s simply a matter of waiting for the right time and then making a mad dash for the exit. But the game…

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%204/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-27.jpg

…makes…

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%204/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-26.jpg

…you…

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%204/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-25.jpg

…do it a lot. If you mess up once, you have to start over. If you’re a pro like me, then it’s not a big deal. But if you’re impatient and/or lazy, then this part will give you a major headache.

Alixsar
01-15-2009, 03:29 PM
http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%204/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-24.jpg

After making your way through the Endless Corridor of Legally Blind Guards, you’ll find yourself in a small circular area. Hey, look through that window! Can that be…the Princess?

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%204/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-23.jpg

Well, it’s a Princess, but not the one we want. And hey, look! It’s-a Mario! If you move the camera a bit, you can also see Luigi, Bowser, and Yoshi. This is the closest thing to a Mario/Zelda crossover as you’ll ever get.

Unless if you count Smash Bros., which you shouldn’t.

You Should Never Listen to a Ten Year Old Girl; They’re Nothing But Trouble

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%204/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-22.jpg

Ah, there she is. Wassup, girl?

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%204/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-21.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%204/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-20.jpg

It seems that this Princess here has been having some bad dreams lately. Dark clouds over the land; the usual dark premonition stuff. But then that light was parted by a light from the forest holding a green stone! Obviously that represents Blondie, and obviously this means that Blondie is the one to save Hyrule. Obviously!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%204/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-19.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%204/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-18.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%204/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-17.jpg

No, screw that. I just met you. Who are you to order me around? I mean, I guess you’re a Princess or whatever…but still, shut up!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%204/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-16.jpg

Unfortunately for Blondie, this is one of OoT’s many “but thou must!” choices. Sure, you can say no…but then she calls you a blabbermouth and you can’t move forward. I don’t understand why the game gives you these choices if you can’t say no. What’s the point of even giving me the option?

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%204/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-15.jpg

At this point, Zelda retells the Creation Myth (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTYg7ylJKU8), but gives us some additional information. If someone gets all three Triforce pieces, they get to make a wish for some never-clearly-explained reason. I guess those triangles are just that powerful. It’s no small task to get into the Temple of Time, though. The gateway to the Sacred Realm is sealed by the Door of Time. And in order to open the Door of Time, you must have the three Spiritual Stones and…

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%204/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-14.jpg

Ta dah! If you guessed the ______ of Time, then you’re right! In this case, the something in particular is another yam with holes in it. This one is purple.

Food Fun Fact: there actually are purple yams! They grow primarily in Southeast Asia and are typically used for making desserts and other sweets. And, just like regular yams, they taste like someone is taking a crap in your mouth.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%204/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-13.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%204/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-12.jpg

Zelda asks Blondie to look through a window and we are properly introduced to the The Nose. It turns out that his real name is Gannondorf. He currently swears allegiance to the King of Hyrule, but Zelda thinks he’s up to no good. After all, look at that look he just gave us! He must have an idea what we're planning!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%204/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-11.jpg

Oh. Or not, I guess.

Waitwaitwait…what? He doesn’t know “…yet”? What, are you going to tell him? How the hell else would he find out?

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%204/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-10.jpg

How the hell is he ever going to get it? You keep the Ocarina of Time from him, Blondie’ll keep the Kokiri’s Emerald, and then he’ll never be able to open the Door of Time. Game Over.

Alixsar
01-15-2009, 03:31 PM
http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%204/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-9.jpg

What? I just told you! We don’t have to do anything!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%204/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-8.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%204/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-7.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%204/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-6.jpg

What?! This sounds like a pain in the ass to me. Unfortunately, Blondie has no balls and agrees to go along with Zelda’s batshit insane plan.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%204/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-5.jpg

Zelda gives us a letter for our trouble. We’ll need this to get up Death Mountain but not much else.

On our way out, we get stopped by a giant woman with huge knockers.

Apparently Learning How to Play an Instrument is Extremely Easy

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%204/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-4.jpg

But this isn’t just an ol’ giant woman. This is Impa. Wait, this is Impa?! Like…

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%204/untitled.jpg

This Impa? We’re talking about Zelda’s retainer, Impa? Geez. Talk about a redesign, eh? (Yes, I know that the first one is from a game that was made after OoT thank you.)

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%204/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-3.jpg

Well, whatever. She wants to teach us a song, so let’s do it. Learning a song in OoT is simple: the NPC teaching it to you will show you what notes to hit, and then you have to mimic it. That’s it.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%204/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-2.jpg

Blondie is just as surprised at how easy it is to learn an instrument as I am.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%204/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-1.jpg

“We” must? So you’ll be helping Blondie?! Awesome, I thought I was going to have to do it by myself. It’ll be great to have someone el…

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%204/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV12s.jpg

Aww!! What the hell, Impa?! First Zelda sends Blondie on a ridiculously pointless fetch quest, and now you throw a Deku Nut at him! I don’t even know if I want to do this anymore.

Next Time on A Brief History of Time:

Blondie takes a part time job selling “happiness” (not prostitution) and then heads up the treacherous Death Mountain…but not before stopping to help a lovely young lady with her Cucco problem and robbing a few graves.

Lucas
01-15-2009, 03:37 PM
It always confused me that in this scene it calls it a chicken, but everywhere else they’re referred to as Cuccos. Of course, if this is the biggest translation error your game has, you’re probably in pretty good shape.

Maybe that's why it's the Weird Egg, because it's the one chicken in Hyrule, land of cuccos?

Taishi Ci
01-15-2009, 03:38 PM
Well, it’s a Princess, but not the one we want. And hey, look! It’s-a Mario! If you move the camera a bit, you can also see Luigi, Bowser, and Yoshi. This is the closest thing to a Mario/Zelda crossover as you’ll ever get.

Be sure to check out the necklace that Not Mario was sporting for another cameo.

Kishi
01-15-2009, 03:38 PM
http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%204/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-31.jpg

In typical “I’m the comic relief NPC!”-fashion, Not Mario runs off.

And sends the camera through the ground, apparently!


http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%204/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-23.jpg

Well, it’s a Princess, but not the one we want. And hey, look! It’s-a Mario! If you move the camera a bit, you can also see Luigi, Bowser, and Yoshi. This is the closest thing to a Mario/Zelda crossover as you’ll ever get.

Unless if you count Smash Bros., which you shouldn’t.

You haven't played Link's Awakening?



Edit: Oh! It bears mentioning that the castle courtyard theme (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kjNRCOU36c8&fmt=18) is a laid-back arrangement of the Lost Woods theme (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0WArWo_FwGY&fmt=18) from A Link to the Past.

Lumber Baron
01-15-2009, 04:32 PM
http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%203/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-6.jpg

At night time, Hyrule Field becomes a playground for Stalchildren. Stalchildren are fairly easy to defeat (one Jump Attack or two regular attacks will do them in) and spawn in groups of two.
FUN FACT: If you cut of a stalchild's head, it will wander around in circles since it can't see you. However, if you make any nois, it can somehow hear you, because stalchildren have ears in their torso.

Makkara
01-16-2009, 04:01 AM
http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%204/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-37.jpg

You may want to rethink your choice in colors there. Red against green is nearly illegible. White or black (or white with a black outline) will work better.

Also:
http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%204/untitled.jpg

Jesus Christ, woman! That dress is a couple of sizes too small, I think. I'm almost afraid to ask what game it's from.

Kishi
01-16-2009, 04:06 AM
The Oracle games for the Game Boy Color. Fortunately, that means the most you ever have to see of that design is a tiny little sprite.

McClain
01-16-2009, 07:09 PM
The Oracle games for the Game Boy Color. Fortunately, that means the most you ever have to see of that design is a tiny little sprite.

Heh, I'm imagining that sprite in an overhead Zelda... an I see a head following boobs, and no feet.

Alixsar
01-16-2009, 11:49 PM
Viewer Mail

I'm pleased to see a lot of people responding in this thread and I'd like to take a bit of time responding to you all.

I'm okay with you skipping a bottle as long as you get all 100 Skulltulas.

Dude, what? Hell no. HELL NO Especially considering that there is absolutely no worthwhile reward for doing so (this will be covered in Episode 5).

Really? It's just a big circle with a ranch in the middle and exits along the perimeter.

I meant lost as in...you know, you can get lost in a book. That kind of lost.

Spoilers: He's not Donkey Kong.

Link's Awakening is a direct sequel to A Link to the Past, and ALttP Link isn't the same person as Ocarina Link. It's undeniable that Kaepora was inspired by the LA owl, but that doesn't mean there's an actual in-universe relationship between them.

I'm not saying what I think or not. I'm just throwing something out there for you all to think about when the inevitable "Here's my Zelda Timeline Theory" post comes at the end of the LP.

I think you're meant to go up there as the bridge goes upright at night, in which case you just walk across its edge to get the Rupees. It's just that they're still there in the daytime, too.

Multiple other people have said this too, so apparently I'm the only person in the world who never even thought of that. But hey, rupees is rupees no matter how you get them.

She also appears if you get caught trying to sneak around the guards, which is probably, again, what's "supposed" to happen. In that case, you can just assume she came in behind you.

To be perfectly honest, it's been so long since I've done it the way that you're "supposed" to that I even forgot that that happens. But you're absolutely right.

For the authentic experience, you should make sure to write this again any time a chest you open contains money.

Only Twilight Princess does that. OoT does it when you open a chest that has rupees but, well, don't you want to know what's in a chest after you open it?

This may just be my memory failing me, but can't you get the first Deku Stick upgrade around this point?

Actually, you can make it to Hyrule Castle during the day on your first trip - If you make a straight line for the gate as soon as you're out of Kokiri Forest (and after taking to the Owl too, I guess) you can make it into Hyrule Castle Town just as the gate closes behind you. I've done it several times, so it can be done.

Two things:

1) See Episode 5 for both Deku Stick upgrades. Coming soon to a Talking Time near you!

2) Really? I've never been able to make it. You're not really "supposed" to make it so I don't feel too bad about it.

You can also hold down the R button when playing the ocarina to increase the pitch by half a step!

This is true, but just as pointless as using the control stick. There's a slew of FAQs out there with actual songs played on the in-game ocarina if any of you are interested.

I managed to win once without the cheat. The odds are 1/32 - not that bad, by game standards.

Technically, since I'm using an emulator and have access to Save States, I could beat it no problem. But that's cheating! I can't do that! I have to wait until I get the in-game item that lets me cheat! That kind of cheating is a-okay!

Don't forget the chains of the gate rattling as it's raised.

Or the rooster crowing at dawn.

Heh, I'm imagining that sprite in an overhead Zelda... an I see a head following boobs, and no feet.

You might see a bit of her gut. She needs to do some pilates or something, you know?

Anyway, Episodes 5 and 6 are already done, and while 7 and 8 have already been filmed/screenshotted, I'm in the process of writing/editing them. I'm going to hold off on posting all of that so you all won't get overwhelmed. I'll put #5 up Sunday or Monday.

Tanto
01-16-2009, 11:56 PM
Getting the Skulltulas is hella easy. You barely even have to go out of your way. They're nothing compared to masks or Poes or Golden Bugs or figurine collecting.

Adrenaline
01-17-2009, 12:03 AM
OoT does it when you open a chest that has rupees

That's all he was referring to.

McClain
01-17-2009, 11:40 AM
That's all he was referring to.

I seem to remember TP doing it for rupees on the GROUND whenever you restarted your game, and it was hella annoying.

Pajaro Pete
01-17-2009, 11:44 AM
Dude, what? Hell no. HELL NO Especially considering that there is absolutely no worthwhile reward for doing so (this will be covered in Episode 5).

But those poor people... You're just gonna leave them?! D:

Adrenaline
01-17-2009, 11:50 AM
I seem to remember TP doing it for rupees on the GROUND whenever you restarted your game, and it was hella annoying.

YEAH. Spineshark wasn't talking about that.

xxtymmie
01-18-2009, 11:05 AM
But those poor people... You're just gonna leave them?! D:

Yeah!

Plus if you get ten of them, you can at least carry some more rupees and who doesn't want that?

Alixsar
01-18-2009, 10:10 PM
Episode 5: Anywhere But Forward

Per Impa’s suggestion, Blondie decides to head to the only other town in Hyrule: Kakariko Village.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-68.jpg

Kakariko serves primarily as a *spoilers goes here*. But for now, it’s just a secondary town area with some sidequests and Cuccos in it. In case you couldn’t tell by the episode’s title, we will not be moving the story forward much at all this update. That isn’t to say that we won’t be moving it forward…just that we won’t be moving it forward much. We’ve got a lot of sidequests to do and doohickeys to find, so let’s get started.

Not to be Confused With This Chicken Lady (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chicken_Lady)

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-67.jpg

Speaking of sidequests and Cuccos, let’s start off by helping this poor lady. This is Anju. She technically isn’t given the name Anju until OoT’s sequel (more of a sidestory really) Majora’s Mask. At the time of OoT’s release, most people referred to her as The Cucco Lady. Anju plays a large role in the most daunting sidequest to ever grace a Zelda game in Majora’s Mask, but no such luck in OoT. In OoT, Anju’s role is to stand around and cry. During the game’s ending it is revealed that she some how has the power to make Cuccos float because hey, why not?

It seems that all of Anju’s Cuccos have flown away. Apparently she’s allergic to Cuccos and wants us to find them for her. I for one think she's just lazy.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-66.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-65.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-64.jpg

See that hole on top of Anju’s Cucco pen? There’s a Piece of Heart in there. We won’t be able to get there until later, however. And just what is a Piece of Heart, you ask? Well, you’ll find out soon enough. Also, you don’t play Zelda games much, do you?

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-63.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-62.jpg

This is the first of the game’s four bottles. Bottles are useful for…uh, well…bottling things. You can put water, milk, potions…even a ghost will fit in this thing (it’s holy glass)! The individual use of each bottled item varies and will get covered when it’s relevant.

Let’s Take a Tour of Kakariko Village!

Now that our first chore is done, let’s take a look around Kakariko. There’s not much to do here yet, but later in our travels, Kakariko will have a lot more to see and do.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-61.jpg

This here is the House of Skulltula. You know those Gold Skulltulas we keep killing? For every 10 tokens we collect, a member of this household stops being a half-spider person and goes back to being a regular person doing jumping jacks. Out of gratitude, they will give Blondie all sorts of rewards. There are 100 Gold Skulltulas in the game, but it’s really only necessary to get 50. Getting 51-100 only nets you one reward: rupees. If you’re at the point in the game where you’ve killed all 100 Skulltulas, you won’t need money anyway. The first, third, and fifth rewards are absolutely crucial though.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-60.jpg

This is the boss of the Carpenters who are working on building a new building in Kakariko. He's upset because all of his workers just run around Kakariko doing nothing in particular all day. Either he's a terrible boss, or the carpenters have a great union.

The boss also mentions that he has a son who’s also a lazy-good-for-nuthin’-so-and-so. If you come to Kakariko at night, you can find him sitting in front of the big tree at the front of the village. We'll meet up with him later in the game.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-59.jpg

Inside the windmill is this cheerful fellow. He seems very happy, doesn't he? Let’s just ignore the fact that if you go into first person view and look at his face it looks like he’s masturbating.

Graverobbing: Not Just For Grave Robbers Anymore

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-58.jpg

This is Kakariko’s graveyard. It’s also Hyrule’s only graveyard. This leads me to believe that either the Hylians eat their dead. Prove me wrong, fanboys.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-57.jpg

During the day, you’ll find this lovable scamp. He’s a big fan of Dampe, the graveyard’s groundskeeper.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-56.jpg

This grave with flowers in front of it has something we need buried beneath it. Unfortunately, we can’t get to it right now. If Blondie tries messing with the graves while Lovable Scamp is around, he will stop Blondie because he's a goodie-two-shoes.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-55.jpg

At the back of the graveyard lies an extremely large grave with an odd symbol on the ground in front of it. The Royal Family, eh? Well, Zelda’s Lullaby is supposed to prove that we know the Royal Family, so let’s try playing it.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-54.jpg

Huh. It started raining. Oh well. It doesn’t look like anythi…

Alixsar
01-18-2009, 10:11 PM
http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-53.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-52.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-51.jpg

What the hell? What kind of fuck rigs their tombstone to explode when people play songs near it?!

With the massive headstone gone, a neatly placed hole is revealed. Feeling particularly suicidal today, Blondie decides to go in for a closer look.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-49.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-48.jpg

Inside the Royal Family’s Tomb, we encounter our first Keese. You may remember them as those super annoying bats from every Zelda game ever. Well, the more things change, the more they stay the same. OoT’s Keese are just as annoying as they ever were. Thankfully, the Keese in this room are sleeping which makes them easy pickings for our Slingshot. Keese are apparently good at adapting to their environment. Later in the game, we’ll run into Keese that are on fire and some that are on fire with ice. If that sounds retarded that's because it is.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-47.jpg

In the next room we find our first ReDead. Like Deku Scrubs before them, ReDeads were introduced in the Zelda universe in OoT. The ReDead has two attacks. If you get near one, it will freeze you in place with its stare. And if it gets close to you…

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-46.jpg

NOMNOMNOM (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDdOVplKrvM). Mashing buttons will knock it off of you. It will usually only inflict a small amount of damage before you get it off of you. While they’re not much of an offensive threat, they sure as hell are creepy.

The rising sun will eventually set. A newborn’s life will fade. From sun to moon, moon to sun…give peaceful rest to the living dead.

That’s a bit morbid. E for Everyone my ass. E for Emo is more like it! HA! Get it?

Because it sounds like bad poetry you’d read on someone’s Livejournal.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-41.jpg

Oh shit! So it is!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-40.jpg

You kind of can’t tell since it’s pretty much always dark in the graveyard, but it’s now nighttime. The Sun’s Song will turn night into day and vice versa. It’s incredibly useful for when you need to talk to someone at a certain time of day. No more waiting in front of Hyrule Castle Town for us!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-39.jpg

Translation: this song stuns ReDeads. Let’s give it a try!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-38.jpg

Yup, sure does. It’s not permanent however. Once you hit them the stun wears off, so make sure you keep up your attack.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-37.jpg

Since it’s now nighttime, Lovable Scamp has gone home and Dampe has come out to shuffle around and do nothing in particular. If you pay Dampe 10 rupees, he’ll dig a hole wherever he’s standing. While Dampe follows the graveyard’s stone path, there are small gaps in the path with soft dirt. If you pay him to dig there, you’ll find all sorts of treasure.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-36.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-35.jpg

Like a Piece of Heart, for instance. Any Zelda vet worth his salt knows what these are. But just in case…Heart Pieces are one fourth of a full Heart Container. For every four of these we find our maximum life goes up by one. You typically get one as a reward for beating various minigames and many are found in hard-to-reach or hidden areas. Before the game is done, we’ll have found them all because I AM GREAT.

Alixsar
01-18-2009, 10:12 PM
http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-34.jpg

Now that Scamp is gone, we can move this grave and get its sweet, sweet honey. I find it very odd that a kid freaks out if you even look at a grave the wrong way, but the groundskeeper doesn’t give a crap if you jump into an exposed tomb.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-33.jpg

Inside is a chest with a Hylian Shield! There’s also a Fairy Fountain, but you need bombs to get to it. What’s a Fairy Fountain, you ask?

Dude, stop asking so many questions! I’ll get to it eventually!

Anyway, the Hylian Shield is much stronger than the Kokiri Shield and, since it’s not made out of wood like the Kokiri Shield is, is unable to be destroyed by fire. This will be absolutely essential during the next dungeon and our eventual climb up Death Mountain.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-32.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-31.jpg

Unfortunately for us, this thing is just too big to be used by a kid like Blondie. When you try and block with it, Blondie ducks down and hides underneath it. The obvious disadvantage to this shield is that it severely reduces your mobility due to its size. But screw it; it looks cool so let’s use it.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-30.jpg

After rounding up a few more Gold Skulltulas, it's time to finally move things forward.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-29.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-28.jpg

Fuck you, man. I’m trying to save you and you laugh at me? What a dick! I’m glad you [presumably die a few gameplay hours from now.]

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-27.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-26.jpg

Way ahead of you, chief. Remember: only suckers actually pay for things in this game!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-25.jpg

Well, yes, but it was closed. But now that you say it’s open, it will be open the next time I head to Castle Town! Screw you, Main Story! Let’s go!

Let’s Become Indentured Servants!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-24.jpg

This is the Happy Mask Shop owner. Just two years later, this NPC would serve as one of the driving forces in OoT’s pseudo-sequel Majora’s Mask. But for now, the Happy Mask Salesman is stuck behind a counter with a goofy grin on his face. The Happy Mask Shop works like this: the Salesman will let you borrow a mask and then you have to go sell it to someone. Each mask has a set price that, once sold, you will have to pay back to the Salesman. Some buyers will pay more than the asking price while others will pay less. There are only four masks you can sell and I can tell you that, in the long run, you will definitely come out on top if you do this. Your reward for selling all four masks is the Mask of Truth, which lets you communicate with Gossip Stones. It can also be used to net you a Deku Nut upgrade in the Lost Woods. But, once again, I’m getting ahead of myself. For now, we’re going to borrow the Keaton Mask (that yellow mask on the shelf) and move on.

The gatekeeper in Kakariko asked if we could get a Keaton Mask for his son. Now that we have one, we should head back to see him. But screw him; he’s an asshole. He can wait. Let’s go see what Not Mario and Malon are up to first.

My Little Pony

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-23.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-22.jpg

Located in the exact center of Hyrule Field is Lon Lon Ranch. Remember Not Mario and Malon from our visit to Castle Town? This is where they live/work. Malon’s mother is presumably dead, and judging by the fact that all he ever does is sleep, Not Mario is still grieving her loss. Or maybe we’re not supposed to think about things like this

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-21.jpg

This is Not Luigi. Not Luigi resents the fact that he works for a lazy bum like Not Mario. Not Luigi swears that someday, this ranch will be his! “Curse you, Not Mario!”, etc. Well, we’ll see about that Not Luigi. Maybe someday.

Alixsar
01-18-2009, 10:13 PM
http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-20.jpg

In the middle of Lon Lon Ranch, Malon is singing to her equine friend Epona. In a surprisingly effective use of the N64’s terrible sound chip, the Lon Lon Ranch music (played on a guitar sound) transfers over to a singing sound as you get closer to Malon and fades back to guitar as you walk away from her. Good work, Nintendo.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-19.jpg

Whoa, look at that look she’s giving us! Go for it, Blondie! She wants you bad!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-18.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-17.jpg

Malon tries introducing us to Epona, but she runs away. Maybe it’s our breath?

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-16.jpg

Okay, sure. Why not? I mean, we all grieve in different ways.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-15.jpg

Instead of singing, Blondie blows into his Magical Yam and learns yet another song! I’ll never get over the fact that each time Blondie learns a song, he stares at his instrument with that “OH WHAT THE FU-“ look on his face. What did you think was going to happen, Blondie?

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-14.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-13.jpg

Kaepora silently voices his approval, and Epona is now suddenly so enamored with us that she starts pushing us around Lon Lon Ranch. Thanks, I guess?

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-12.jpg

We’re not done here yet. This building in the back of the ranch has something for us.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-11.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-10.jpg

After moving some crates around, Blondie discovers a passage into a room with a Heart Piece. We’re halfway towards a full container now.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-9.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-8.jpg

Back in the room with the crates, Blondie plays Epona’s Song for one of the cows in the room. Doing so lets us fill our empty bottle with the cow’s milk. It also apparently gives cows the power to talk, but let’s just ignore that for now. Milk heals five hearts with each gulp, and there are two gulps per bottle. That’s not bad when you’re a kid, but later in the game 10 hearts won’t really cut it anymore.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-7.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-6.jpg

Now that our only bottle is full, maybe we should get another? Not Mario offers to play a game with us. For 10 rupees, he’ll release three Super Cuccos into a room full of regular Cuccos. Our job will be to find the three Cuccos. This game is amazingly easy; just watch where the three Super Cuccos land and go grab them.

Alixsar
01-18-2009, 10:15 PM
http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-5.jpg

You saw how she was looking at Blondie! Go for it! Also, is it just me or does Not Mario look stoned?

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-4.jpg

Pfft! Fuck you Not Mario. Well, whatever. He gives us a bottle full of Lon Lon Milk for our troubles, so I guess that’s a good thing.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-3.jpg

We can’t get this Gold Skulltula yet. I’m not pointing this out because it’s interesting, but I am pointing it out because I’m totally going to forget about it unless I make a point to mention it right now.

Let’s Become Indentured Servants: Part 2

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-2.jpg

Now that we’re done in Lon Lon Ranch, let’s head back to Kakariko Village. The gatekeeper offers to buy our Keaton Mask for the asking price. Unfortunately, the sun decided to get in our way. But no matter; nothing will stop Blondie from closing a sale! Even if he goes blind in the process!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-1.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV12s.jpg

Now that we’ve sold the Keaton Mask, we’ve got access to a new mask. The Skull Mask can be sold to someone in the Lost Woods. Navi has been pestering Blondie and I to go see what Saria thinks about our this whole “let’s save Hyrule”-thing, so that’s all the more reason to head back to Kokiri Village. Let’s go!

Next Time on A Brief History of Time:

It's thriller, Blondie
You're a wonderful lover, baby
Ayiyaiyaiyai!

PapillonReel
01-18-2009, 10:24 PM
http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-6.jpg

Now that our only bottle is full, maybe we should get another? Not Mario offers to play a game with us. For 10 rupees, he’ll release three Super Cuccos into a room full of regular Cuccos. Our job will be to find the three Cuccos. This game is amazingly easy; just watch where the three Super Cuccos land and go grab them.

When I first played this game a decade or so ago, I remember having a lot of trouble remembering where the cuccos would land and it took me a while to win the bottle as a result (shut up, I was stupid back then). Funny thing is, I found out later that it's not really necessary to work for it if you don't want to; you can throw all of the cuccos into the corner choke-point where Not-Mario is and when he tosses them in the air, the only ones left will be the super cuccos, guaranteed.

Good times, good times.

On another note, once you finish the happy mask quest, you should hold onto the Keaton Mask and where it all the time because it's totally rockin'.

Kishi
01-18-2009, 10:47 PM
http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-63.jpg

Ah, "fine glass." I love how NPCs oversell the fact that they're just giving you empty bottles. The best are the beaver brothers in Majora's Mask, who literally regard their bottle as their most sacred treasure.


http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-41.jpg

The Composer Brothers, it's worth mentioning, are Sharp and Flat, whose ghosts you meet by their graves on either side of the Royal Tombstone. They tell you that they died to keep Ganondorf from getting his hands on their work.

Not as cool as their role in Majora's Mask, but then, that's true of most characters.


http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-36.jpg

Like a Piece of Heart, for instance. Any Zelda vet worth his salt knows what these are. But just in case…Heart Pieces are one fourth of a full Heart Container.

And this one in particular is a huge bitch to get, even worse than the equivalent digging game reward in A Link to the Past. You used savestates, right?


http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-10.jpg

This one just creeps me out, between the lack of windows and the fact that the only exit is a tiny tunnel cut out of stone. Why does this room exist? What if you crawled in, stayed a while, and found -- either because your body had grown, or someone had filed crates against the exit -- you couldn't get back out again?

I'm not even claustrophic, but I can't help but wonder if there's a tattered, tortured-looking corpse in that little pile of hay.

PapillonReel
01-18-2009, 10:50 PM
This one just creeps me out, between the lack of windows and the fact that the only exit is a tiny tunnel cut out of stone. Why does this room exist? What if you crawled in, stayed a while, and found -- either because your body had grown, or someone had filed crates against the exit -- you couldn't get back out again?

I'm not even claustrophic, but I can't help but wonder if there's a tattered, tortured-looking corpse in that little pile of hay.

Well great. Thanks a lot, Kish - now I'll never be able to grab that Piece of Heart ever again. ;_;

Oh God, closed spaces. DON'T CAVE IN, PLEASE DON'T-

Bongo Bill
01-18-2009, 11:32 PM
In a surprisingly effective use of the N64’s terrible sound chip, the Lon Lon Ranch music (played on a guitar sound) transfers over to a singing sound as you get closer to Malon and fades back to guitar as you walk away from her.

Fun fact: the N64 did not have a terrible sound chip! It couldn't have had a terrible sound chip, because it did not have a sound chip at all.

I thought for sure you were going to show off the cameo that happens at the ranch.

Pajaro Pete
01-19-2009, 12:42 AM
http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%205/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-61.jpg

Hello Most Horrifying Thing, how are you this evening?

Sanagi
01-19-2009, 02:40 AM
The fact that the N64 was able to run this game and handle Koji Kondo's most far-out sound design ideas without a dedicated soundchip is doubly amazing.

On that note, I recently read this analysis of the ocarina melodies (http://cruiseelroy.net/2008/04/ocarina-music-1/). It's quite interesting, and there's Mother 3 stuff there as well.

Ah, "fine glass." I love how NPCs oversell the fact that they're just giving you empty bottles. The best are the beaver brothers in Majora's Mask, who literally regard their bottle as their most sacred treasure.
They're not wrong. If the Zelda series has taught us anything, it's that every bottle you own makes you twice as hard to kill.

Makkara
01-19-2009, 02:54 AM
They're not wrong. If the Zelda series has taught us anything, it's that every bottle you own makes you twice as hard to kill.

That's why I still have jars of pickles several years old in my fridge. The contents are long since inedible, but if I ever have to go on an adventure, the containers can save my life!

Of course, that doesn't explain the bag of old, moldy carrots.

Merus
01-19-2009, 05:37 AM
When I first played this game a decade or so ago, I remember having a lot of trouble remembering where the cuccos would land and it took me a while to win the bottle as a result (shut up, I was stupid back then). Funny thing is, I found out later that it's not really necessary to work for it if you don't want to; you can throw all of the cuccos into the corner choke-point where Not-Mario is and when he tosses them in the air, the only ones left will be the super cuccos, guaranteed.

I did this once and one of the cuccos landed in the corner choke-point. That sucked.

I have the best and worst luck with this game.

Pajaro Pete
01-19-2009, 07:26 PM
Of course, that doesn't explain the bag of old, moldy carrots.

I'm pretty sure once you throw them out, a week later some random stranger will walk up to you and offer a chunk of human heart in exchange for a bag of moldy carrots.

nunix
01-19-2009, 09:22 PM
They're not wrong. If the Zelda series has taught us anything, it's that every bottle you own makes you twice as hard to kill.

If you want to please a Zelda fan to no end, get them a bottle. Go out and find a nice, decent-quality glass bottle with, preferably, a cork stopper (a glassblower can probably help you with this quest), but a mason jar would work in a pinch (just paint the top to cover up any label; alternatively, use the mason jar but find the cork somewhere else). Then fill it with either a blue, red, or green liquid (Gatorade or Kool-Aid would work, but I always thought the potions were probably a little more viscous), or just go to a hypermart or a toy store or something, go to the girls' toy aisle, find a teeny keychain-ish fairy and you're set.

Pretty much any geek on the planet will appreciate this.

Elfir
01-19-2009, 10:11 PM
Good idea. Next year everybody's getting Bottled Tinkerbells for Festivus!

McClain
01-20-2009, 08:20 AM
If you want to please a Zelda fan to no end, get them a bottle. Go out and find a nice, decent-quality glass bottle with, preferably, a cork stopper (a glassblower can probably help you with this quest), but a mason jar would work in a pinch (just paint the top to cover up any label; alternatively, use the mason jar but find the cork somewhere else). Then fill it with either a blue, red, or green liquid (Gatorade or Kool-Aid would work, but I always thought the potions were probably a little more viscous), or just go to a hypermart or a toy store or something, go to the girls' toy aisle, find a teeny keychain-ish fairy and you're set.

Pretty much any geek on the planet will appreciate this.

Nintendo should take a page from Square's playbook and market a "Medicine of Life" drink...

(no, they really shouldn't)

xxtymmie
01-21-2009, 02:49 PM
The fact that the N64 was able to run this game and handle Koji Kondo's most far-out sound design ideas without a dedicated soundchip is doubly amazing.

On that note, I recently read this analysis of the ocarina melodies (http://cruiseelroy.net/2008/04/ocarina-music-1/). It's quite interesting, and there's Mother 3 stuff there as well.


They're not wrong. If the Zelda series has taught us anything, it's that every bottle you own makes you twice as hard to kill.

The analysis page was quite interesting and awesome to see that someone really went through and looked at these great tunes. Plus some of the workarounds Kondo used to make the ocarina melodies much more complex than the few sounds that it was able to make.

Alixsar
01-21-2009, 07:26 PM
Episode 6: Dance Dance Darunia!

Corrections

In the last episode, I mentioned that the N64 made good use of it's sound chip. Readers were quick to point out that the N64 doesn't have a sound chip. I apologize for the mistake. I know basically nothing about hardware and I wasn't even aware it was possible to, you know, make sound without a sound chip. But apparently it is! Who knew?

Follow the Irritating Song

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-54.jpg

At the top of Kokiri Village is the entrance to the Lost Woods. The Lost Woods are called so because one wrong turn will spit you back out at the entrance. To make matters even worse, my emulator apparently hates this area and decides to crash randomly whenever you try to leave the woods. But only sometimes. Thanks, Emulator!

There is a way to tell which path will to choose in the Lost Woods, however. The Lost Woods' music (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Dt3QWsJ0Bs) will grow quieter if you’re about to head the wrong direction. Just follow the music and you’ll get through the Woods. After following the music a bit, Blondie finds himself at a peculiar spot. That looks like a target, doesn’t it?

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-52.jpg

Huh. Guess so!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-51.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-50.jpg

Fantastic. After hitting the middle of the target three times, a Deku Scrub gives you a Deku Seed Bag Upgrade. Our Deku Seed Bag is now fully upgraded! Thanks, Random Deku Scrub!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-49.jpg

Further into the woods, Kaepora stops us and tells us what I just told all of you about following the music. Thanks for nothing, jackass.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-48.jpg

Towards the end of the Woods, you’ll find this particular area off of the "main" path. Two Business Scrubs hang around here and sell Deku Sticks/Nuts. But there’s something else hidden here…

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-47.jpg

See where those butterflies are hovering? They're hovering over the entrance to a secret area.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-46.jpg

Welcome to the Forest Stage! If you bring certain masks to this area, the Deku Scrubs inside will either give you gifts or attack you depending on whether or not they like your mask. We have the Skull Mask with us, so let’s try it out.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-45.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-44.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-43.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-42.jpg

Seems like they like Blondie. Now we can carry more Deku Sticks! Too bad Deku Sticks are pretty useless…but hey, we got it! That’s something.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-41.jpg

Continuing a bit further into the Woods, we find the Sacred Forest Meadow. We are immediately accosted by a Wolfos. Wolfos can guard against your attacks and will circle around you, waiting for a chance to strike.

Alternatively, for you Yakov Smirnoff fans out there, when fighting Wolfos, bad guys Z-Target you!

The easiest way to beat them is to stand perfectly still and guard. After the Wolfos attacks, the impact of striking your shield will send them backwards and cause them to turn their back to you. A well timed Jump Attack on their back will kill them in one hit, even as a puny kid with a tiny knife. We'll run into Wolfos later in the game when we're better equipped and they become even less of a threat.

You may have noticed that the Wolfos name is somewhat similar to another familiar Zelda enemy, the Stalfos. OoT added a number of "-fos" type enemies. They all behave somewhat similarly in that they will use Z-Targeting-like attacks against you. We're still quite a ways from seeing out first Stalfos, but be on the look out for some Lizalfos in the next episode.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-40.jpg

The Sacred Forest Meadow is an extremely small and extremely linear maze. While navigating it, the camera shifts to an overhead perspective reminiscent of older Zelda titles. This is not only an homage to older Zelda titles, but it also makes the maze feel much bigger and more confusing than it actually is. This area serves as a prime example that good art direction can triumph over technical limitations if you do it right.

For more examples of this, see any game Blizzard or Valve has ever made, as well as *insert random game someone is sure to mention here*.

Alixsar
01-21-2009, 07:28 PM
http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-39.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-38.jpg

Hey, it’s our girlfriend. It seems like she’s the one who’s been playing the annoying music that’s been terrorizing Blondie. Hey, is that…a door above Saria?

Well, that’s enough foreshadowing. Let’s talk to her.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-37.jpg

This probably isn't important.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-36.jpg

Blondie used Leaf Attack!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-35.jpg

Saria fainted. Alex wins!

Nintendo: I never thought I’d lose! You’re pretty tough!

Backtracking Through the Woods

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-34.jpg

Thankfully, the trip out of the Sacred Forest Meadow is much faster. A ladder allows Blondie to climb on top of the walls of the maze and run across the top to the entrance. It also leads to this particular ladder. At the base of this ladder is a hole that leads to the most important Fairy’s Fountain in the game.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-32.jpg

Remember those lakes in the first Zelda that had fairies that would heal you? Well, this is OoT’s version of that. There are several Fairy’s Fountains in OoT, but this is the only one we’ll ever really need. Later in the game we’ll learn a warp song that will let us travel to where we met Saria at will. And since this fountain is so close, we’ll be warping here whenever we need a fairy. If we ever need one, that is.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-30.jpg

After chugging two bottles worth of milk, Blondie decides to force two fairies into slavery. Bottled fairies serve two purposes. Fairies will automatically restore all of your life, which is great for obvious reasons. But to sweeten the deal, fairies will be used automatically should you die.

To recap, if you die, a fairy will not only revive you but give you full life as well. So if you have four bottles with four fairies, you technically have five life bars. Later in the game, it might be useful to have a green or blue potion handy…but beyond that, you’re going to want to have some fairies handy at all times. It’s simply stupid not to.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-29.jpg

Really? You mean like those other songs I already know? Thanks again, Kaepora.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-28.jpg

Back at the entrance of the Lost Woods, we meet this fellow. This is The Skullkid. If you’ve played Majora’s Mask, then you know just how important this guy really is. I’ll let Tanto explain that in his eventual Majora’s Mask LP. It seems like he’s pretty lonely, though. Well, since he has a flute, maybe he knows Leaf Attack too?

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-27.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-26.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-25.jpg

I don't know why everyone keeps calling it Saria's Song, but whatever. We got a Piece of Heart out of the deal.

I wish the real world worked like this. "Doctor, I'm dying! HELP!" "Do you have insurance?" "No, but-" "Sorry but I can't." "Doot doo doo! Doot doo doo!" "I mean, come right on in!"

Alixsar
01-21-2009, 07:29 PM
http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-24.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-23.jpg

Apparently the duck-billed Skullkid has some confidence issues and is convinced that our Skull Mask can help him. The only problem is that Skullkid is near broke and pays us less than the asking price. Luckily, Blondie is filthy rich, so we can spare the rupees.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-22.jpg

Continuing past the Skullkid’s domain, we come upon a Business Scrub just under the bridge Saria gave us the Fairy Yam on. This Scrub sells us a Deku Stick upgrade for 40 rupees. Now we can carry 30 Deku Sticks at once! Um, hooray?

Let’s Become Indentured Servants: Part 3

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-33.jpg

Now that the Skull Mask has been sold, Blondie heads back to Castle Town to get the next mask. Spooky Mask, huh?

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-21.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-20.jpg

Scamp could stand to be more spooky, wouldn’t you say? Scamp pays us a bit more than the asking price. There’s only one mask left to sell before we can get the Mask of Truth. Unfortunately, it’s a huge pain in the ass to sell so I’ll be holding off on that for a bit. I think we’ve waited long enough. We’re already in Kakariko so let’s head to the gate we opened with Zelda’s letter.

Let’s Head to Rock-Eating Monkey City!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-19.jpg

For reasons that are never explained, a cloud ring hovers around the mouth of Death Mountain. I always thought it was a little bizarre that Death Mountain is one of the first areas you’re forced to explore in the game after showing up later in the game in all previous Zeldas. Hey, isn’t Death Mountain where Link fights Ganon in the original Zelda? But we're heading there to meet with the Gorons? How can that be?

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-18.jpg

Shortly after stepping foot on Death Mountain Trail, Blondie is attacked by a tektite. Tektites are traditionally inhabitants of Death Mountain and OoT doesn’t change that. They’re just as annoying as ever too. We’ll run into some blue ones later, but unlike previous versions, there isn’t much difference between the two. There are several methods for defeating them. We’ve got a ton of Deku Seeds, so we could just shoot them…but you can also wait for them to jump, guard, and counter attack. My favorite method is to meet them mid-air with a Jump Attack. It’s difficult to get the timing right, but it kills them in one hit and looks bad ass.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-17.jpg

After walking an extremely linear path full of secrets we can’t access yet, Blondie comes upon Goron City. Goron City is appropriately enough home to the Gorons. Gorons are bizarre monkey-like creatures that eat rocks. They come in various sizes and shapes, and are really, really lame.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-16.jpg

At the base of Goron City is a door. A message on the door reveals that Darunia, the leader of the Gorons is not accepting visitors, unless if there’s a message from the Royal Family. Remember: anytime you read “Royal Family” anywhere, that means play Zelda’s Lullaby.

Inside Blondie finds Darunia and…well, you have to see it for yourself.

Video Challenge: Darunia’s Request

Everyone’s waiting on you! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-yOGDiUYcoU)

Sidequestin’ in Rock Town

With the Power Bracelet safely on our wrist, we can gain access to our second dungeon…but let’s finish our first Heart Piece first. In the middle of the room before Darunia’s room, there is a large vase surrounded by several unlit torches. Darunia’s room has torches in it so we can use that flame to light all of the others.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-15.jpg

Once the torches are lit, the vase starts spinning. The trick here is to go to the level above and throw bombs into the vase. It’s a bit of a pain, but once you get a bomb inside the jar will stop spinning and give you…

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-14.jpg

Three rupees? Oh, fuck this.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-13.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-12.jpg

That’s more like it. Depending on which face the jar “lands” on, you’ll get a different reward. Getting the happy face gets us our fourth Piece of Heart and another full Heart Container!

Alixsar
01-21-2009, 07:31 PM
http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-11.jpg

Elsewhere in Goron City, Medigoron is working on something. Five or six years? Screw it, I don’t need whatever you’re working on anyway.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-10.jpg

Hey, here’s a shortcut to the Lost Woods. Now we can travel between Kokiri Village and Goron City in a flash!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-9.jpg

On the middle level of Goron City, Hot Rodder rolls around endlessly. Stopping him will get you a Bomb Bag upgrade…but we don’t have one yet, so let’s ignore him for now.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-8.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-7.jpg

Just overlooking Dodongo’s Cavern is a bomb flower plant. Throwing it over the edge allows us to blow open the entrance to the cavern. It’s dungeon time!

The Power of Heart (not the band, they’re terrible)

Well, except that I forgot to do a few things earlier. Oops! Let's backtrack one more time!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-5.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-4.jpg

After climbing down Death Mountain Trail, Blondie headed towards Kakariko’s Graveyard. In the back row of graves, there is an unmarked grave with a cavern beneath it. Inside is a single ReDead and after defeating him, a large chest appears. Inside is a Piece of Heart! But there’s still one more piece to get before we move on...

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-1.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-2.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%206/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV12s.jpg

Thanks to the entrance we opened up in Goron City, Blondie made his way back to the Lost Woods. These two Skullchildren are looking for some to jam with. After following along with a randomly generated song a few times, Blondie is given a second Piece of Heart! Alright, now that we’re halfway towards another heart piece, I think we’re finally ready to face Dodongo’s Cavern.

But who knows what horrors await us within?

Viewer Mail

The Composer Brothers, it's worth mentioning, are Sharp and Flat, whose ghosts you meet by their graves on either side of the Royal Tombstone. They tell you that they died to keep Ganondorf from getting his hands on their work.

Not as cool as their role in Majora's Mask, but then, that's true of most characters.

I didn't bother showing them off simply because...well, there's no point. Gotta edit things to keep each entry moving quick, you know? I felt it was more important to showcase the new enemies inside the tomb. You're completely right about their role in MM, though. I think the only character who has a cooler role in OoT than MM is Link, and even that's debatable.

And this one in particular is a huge bitch to get, even worse than the equivalent digging game reward in A Link to the Past. You used savestates, right?

No, I didn't. I made one beforehand because I thought I might need it, but I got it second try. And I don't know what planet you're from, but the one in A Link to the Past is way harder. That minigame is frustrating and difficult, whereas as OoT's just costs money. And considering that money is easy to come by in OoT, I feel it's not unfair to say that this digging minigame has no challenge whatsoever.

This one just creeps me out, between the lack of windows and the fact that the only exit is a tiny tunnel cut out of stone. Why does this room exist? What if you crawled in, stayed a while, and found -- either because your body had grown, or someone had filed crates against the exit -- you couldn't get back out again?

I'm not even claustrophic, but I can't help but wonder if there's a tattered, tortured-looking corpse in that little pile of hay.

I'm glad I'm not the only person who's a little bothered by that area.

Nintendo should take a page from Square's playbook and market a "Medicine of Life" drink...

(no, they really shouldn't)

I'd buy it. But then again, I'm kind of dumb.

Next Time on A Brief History of Time:

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/zeldadodongo.png

PapillonReel
01-21-2009, 07:48 PM
the one in A Link to the Past is way harder. That minigame is frustrating and difficult

... Really? I could never understand where the vitriol to the ALttP digging game comes from; I can usually get that heart piece on the third or fourth try with little effort. As long as you dig as fast as you can and have a decent amount of money on-hand (and even then, you can win most of your earnings back), it's no more harder than getting any of the others.

Sanagi
01-21-2009, 08:05 PM
I think the Gorons are kinda funny. Mainly for the noises they make when they stand up.

I watched a tool-assisted run that skipped the whole of Dodongo's Cavern by hitting the stone skull's eyes with bombchus.

Ruik
01-21-2009, 08:30 PM
My favorite method is to meet them mid-air with a Jump Attack. It’s difficult to get the timing right, but it kills them in one hit and looks bad ass.

This is, by far, my favorite way to kill these guys. Also, that video clip was pretty awesome.

Pajaro Pete
01-21-2009, 09:48 PM
Let’s Head to Rock-Eating Monkey City!

Excuse me?! How about we try this thread one more time without the racism?

(It is ok to be racist against the Zora, because they're fish)

Merus
01-21-2009, 10:19 PM
But the female Zoras don't wear shirts.

Plus some of the workarounds Kondo used to make the ocarina melodies much more complex than the few sounds that it was able to make.

The thing that blew my mind was that Zelda's Lullaby was a pre-existing song that happened to map to the ocarina in such a way that it was played with a triangle motion, while still making sense as an instrument.

Pajaro Pete
01-22-2009, 12:46 AM
But the female Zoras don't wear shirts.

That only furthers my point.

McClain
01-22-2009, 09:53 AM
Wait... do fairies really fill your WHOLE life in this game? I thought they only filled like 7 or so hearts like they do in the other games. It's great that they will bring you back from the dead, but I thought you needed to eventually upgrade to medicine to get full life.

Adrenaline
01-22-2009, 10:26 AM
Wait... do fairies really fill your WHOLE life in this game?

Yeah...

McClain
01-22-2009, 11:45 AM
Wow, I completely forgot that. So why would you ever want to buy medicine?

Tanto
01-22-2009, 11:56 AM
Wow, I completely forgot that. So why would you ever want to buy anything?

Why indeed?

nunix
01-22-2009, 12:23 PM
Why indeed?

This has always been the problem with Zelda games, and it's been made worse by the stepped rupee purse (which I want to say started in OoT but that might be a lie). There's really no need to ever buy anything, and it drives the collector in me insane to start with a 200-rupee purse, top that out in the first half an hour of gameplay, and then "waste" every rupee I come across after that.

If I got a chance to ask the design team one thing, it would be: what the fuck are you doing with rupees, man?

Elfir
01-22-2009, 12:45 PM
Makes you wonder what a Zelda game without rupees would look like. Less shiny, certainly, but otherwise?

Indalecio
01-22-2009, 01:49 PM
Makes you wonder what a Zelda game without rupees would look like. Less shiny, certainly, but otherwise?

Well I figure there'd be a whole lot more of Link opening treasure chests and holding nothing over his head.

Brickroad
01-22-2009, 01:55 PM
Well I figure there'd be a whole lot more of Link opening treasure chests and holding nothing over his head.

*fanfare* "You didn't find anything at all in this treasure chest! NICE!!"

*fanfare* "You didn't find anything at all in this treasure chest! NICE!!"

*fanfare* "You didn't find anything at all in this treasure chest! NICE!!"

*fanfare* "You didn't find anything at all in this treasure chest! NICE!!"

*fanfare* "You didn't find anything at all in this treasure chest! NICE!!"

Oathbreaker
01-22-2009, 02:20 PM
Wow, I completely forgot that. So why would you ever want to buy medicine?

Because fairies don't restore your magic along with your life. So they aren't completely broken... just kinda.

I'd go insane if I didn't find those precious useless rupees inside over half the chests I ever open in my LoZ games. My OCD would question whether I did something wrong earlier in the game to cause the calamity.

Kishi
01-22-2009, 02:43 PM
There is a way to tell which path will to choose in the Lost Woods, however. The Lost Woods' music (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Dt3QWsJ0Bs) will grow quieter if you’re about to head the wrong direction. Just follow the music and you’ll get through the Woods.

I always get through by eye, because the log tunnels you can pass through look way different from the ones that will dump you at the entrance. Good job, Nintendo!


Hey, it’s our girlfriend. It seems like she’s the one who’s been playing the annoying music that’s been terrorizing Blondie.

She's certainly supposed to be, but the music actually fades out once she stops "playing." Good job, Nintendo!


There’s only one mask left to sell before we can get the Mask of Truth. Unfortunately, it’s a huge pain in the ass to sell so I’ll be holding off on that for a bit.

There's also the fact that the Running Man simply doesn't appear yet. I think it's either after the third Spiritual Stone or after the cut scene fulfilling Link's premonition that he first shows up; I remember that much because the GameCube Collector's Edition version of the game has a bug where you can't get the reward for showing the Mask of Truth at the Forest Stage after you've been to the future for the first time, giving you an annoyingly small window of opportunity to get that done.

McClain
01-22-2009, 06:29 PM
I seem to remember money being a much more precious commodity in early Zelda games. I think that was before every blade of grass in the world was littered with bombs and arrows. Seriously, who the hell is leaving those things laying around?

Zelda needs to either ditch the money mechanic or go back to making bombs and arrows strictly things you have to buy or pray for a (somewhat rare) monster drop.

I also thought it would be interesting to see what a Zelda game would feel like with an expanded inventory, adding more loot to find, buy and sell. Instead of getting a hammer you use for one kind of puzzle, what if you found knives, axes and several more sword upgrades? (I guess you'd get an RPG...)

At any rate, money is kind of pointless. At least TP gave you the Vending-Machine Armor, dishing out protection for a price!

birdiedude
01-22-2009, 06:41 PM
Zelda needs to either ditch the money mechanic or go back to making bombs and arrows strictly things you have to buy or pray for a (somewhat rare) monster drop.

Isn't that what they did in Twilight Princess?

I also thought it would be interesting to see what a Zelda game would feel like with an expanded inventory, adding more loot to find, buy and sell. Instead of getting a hammer you use for one kind of puzzle, what if you found knives, axes and several more sword upgrades? (I guess you'd get an RPG...)

And didn't they try the expanded inventory in Wind Waker?

McClain
01-22-2009, 07:15 PM
Isn't that what they did in Twilight Princess?

If they did it didn't work. I constantly had a maxed-out wallet, which made opening chests in dungeons really annoying.


And didn't they try the expanded inventory in Wind Waker?
I guess, but I was actually imagining a true RPG Zelda, with armor with numerical values, status effects, elemental weapons... wait, crap, did I just invent a Zelda Metroidvania?

(actually, I think I just want another Secret of Mana, but with a plot.)

Sanagi
01-22-2009, 11:24 PM
They definitely need to think of something worth putting in treasure chests besides heart fragments and money. And breaking the heart fragments into smaller pieces does not count.

The most obvious thing would be to steal Metroid's smaller ammo upgrades.

Ps. I miss the 5000-rupee wallet from Wind Waker.

Bongo Bill
01-22-2009, 11:27 PM
They could add in another fetch-quest collectible item type or two!

Pajaro Pete
01-23-2009, 12:06 AM
Yes let's have Silver, Bronze and Copper Skutullas.

Makkara
01-23-2009, 01:51 AM
The problem of excessive rupees could be solved by giving you something interesting to do with them. Like, let you buy a house in the city, or a fancy new outfit, or something like that. Something that's fun but non-essential, to avoid grinding.

Bongo Bill
01-23-2009, 02:10 AM
The problem of excessive rupees could be solved by giving you something interesting to do with them. Like, let you buy a house in the city, or a fancy new outfit, or something like that. Something that's fun but non-essential, to avoid grinding.
The Fable series, I think, is the Western equivalent to Zelda. Eiji Aonuma and Peter Molyneux need to compare notes, as the most recent of each seem to complement the other's weaknesses nicely.

Indalecio
01-23-2009, 07:51 AM
I guess, but I was actually imagining a true RPG Zelda, with armor with numerical values, status effects, elemental weapons... wait, crap, did I just invent a Zelda Metroidvania?



Nope, you invented a Zelda Dragon Warrior.

A Moblin draws near!

Command?

liquid
01-23-2009, 09:38 PM
>Fight
Spell
Run
Item

Link attacks!

The Moblin's life energy has been reduced by 7!

Congratulations, you have done well in defeating a Moblin!

You got 5 experience points!
Collect 635 more experience points to increase Link's life energy, magic energy, attack, defense, agility, strength, and wisdom.
Collect 427 more experience points to increase Shiek's life energy, magic energy, attack, defense, agility, strength, and wisdom.
Collect 514 more experience points to increase Midna's life energy, magic energy, attack, defense, agility, strength, and wisdom.
Collect 211 more experience points to increase Cuckoo's life energy, magic energy, attack, defense, agility, strength, and wisdom.

You got a blue Rupee!
That's worth 5 Rupees.
Not too bad, huh?

You got a fairy!
When a party member's life energy runs out and they collapse from exhaustion, this fairy will replenish their strength.
In battle, select Item to bring up the item menu, select fairy, and choose which party member to use it on.
In the field, press [Start] to bring up the menu screen, select Item to bring up the item menu, select fairy, and choose which party member to use it on.

Merus
01-24-2009, 06:24 AM
The thing I like about Zelda is that it gets rid of the trickle of points that RPGs rely on, while preserving the signature character growth of the genre. I don't think Metroid-style item upgrades serve that vision all that well.

nunix
01-24-2009, 09:13 AM
The problem of excessive rupees could be solved by giving you something interesting to do with them. Like, let you buy a house in the city, or a fancy new outfit, or something like that. Something that's fun but non-essential, to avoid grinding.

Well, Wind Waker had a 9999 limit, and the purpose of that was mostly just the Auction House. Trouble was that 1) most people don't know about it, and 2) you don't actually need that much money to win everything.

WW is probably the worst offender in this, though, because it's easy to hit your previous purse limits (it starts at 200, goes to.. 500? then I think 5000, then 9999.. might be another step in there) and the game is flush with 100 rupee chests in the dungeons. I'd open a silver rupee chest, and already be at my limit, and just think, "Well, that was completely wasted." Treasure hunting runs into this also.

birdiedude
01-24-2009, 09:42 AM
Well, Wind Waker had a 9999 limit, and the purpose of that was mostly just the Auction House. Trouble was that 1) most people don't know about it, and 2) you don't actually need that much money to win everything.

WW is probably the worst offender in this, though, because it's easy to hit your previous purse limits (it starts at 200, goes to.. 500? then I think 5000, then 9999.. might be another step in there) and the game is flush with 100 rupee chests in the dungeons. I'd open a silver rupee chest, and already be at my limit, and just think, "Well, that was completely wasted." Treasure hunting runs into this also.

Tingle changed an arm and a leg for triforce charts, and I'm told there were more charts in the jp version. I think that's where the WW developers expected all that money to go.

Makkara
01-24-2009, 10:07 AM
Tingle changed an arm and a leg for triforce charts, and I'm told there were more charts in the jp version. I think that's where the WW developers expected all that money to go.

That's where most of my money went. And that's a problem, since the charts are relevant to finishing the game. I actually had to hunt for money on several occasions. Honestly, I didn't really mind, though, since fishing up treasure chests from the bottom of the sea was fun.

Kishi
01-24-2009, 10:10 AM
I hate every aspect of the Triforce hunt, from the money problem to the act of tracking them down and dredging them up. But I've been less inclined to volunteer complaints about it ever since Aonuma came right out and apologized (http://www.gamesarefun.com/news.php?newsid=5304) for it.

nunix
01-24-2009, 10:13 AM
Ohh yeah, I completely forgot about the charts.

Doesn't fix the fact that you can do those one at a time, and you still wind up "wasting" rupees you find until your purse gets maxed out. =p

McClain
01-24-2009, 10:42 AM
Nope, you invented a Zelda Dragon Warrior.

A Moblin draws near!

Command?

I've never actually played it, so I don't know, but I think I was picturing something more like WOW.

But I seem to remember playing a Zelda Final Fantasy flash game somewhere (newgrounds?), and despite being terrible, it was a kind of cool idea.

Oh, and paying thousands of rupees for charts didn't solve the economy problem at all!

The first Zelda had it right: I always had to grind out enough money to get medicine and bombs before heading into a new labyrinth. OH, and the second quest I always had a spare 100 for those damn "Leave your life or money" rooms since I forget where they are.

Alixsar
01-24-2009, 10:43 AM
It looks like I won't be able to do a proper update until tomorrow or possibly even Monday. Sorry everyone, but it's coming.

I always get through by eye, because the log tunnels you can pass through look way different from the ones that will dump you at the entrance. Good job, Nintendo!

This is true but it’s not what you’re “supposed” to do. When you get close to a path that will lead you out of the woods, you’ll be able to see a faint light at the end of the tunnel. Good job, Nintendo!

She's certainly supposed to be, but the music actually fades out once she stops "playing." Good job, Nintendo!

There’s also the fact that once you leave the Sacred Forest Meadow after talking to her, the music stays at maximum volume in the Lost Woods rather than getting louder or softer depending on which way you’re going. You’re only given one trip through the Lost Woods with any sort of directional help and then you’re on your own, despite the fact that Saria stays behind in the Forest Meadow and continues playing the ocarina. Good job, Nintendo!

There's also the fact that the Running Man simply doesn't appear yet. I think it's either after the third Spiritual Stone or after the cut scene fulfilling Link's premonition that he first shows up; I remember that much because the GameCube Collector's Edition version of the game has a bug where you can't get the reward for showing the Mask of Truth at the Forest Stage after you've been to the future for the first time, giving you an annoyingly small window of opportunity to get that done.

Really? I never had that problem. I did have Majora’s Mask freeze on me multiple times before I eventually gave up on it. ...Which is actually a huge shame because I don’t have my N64/original copy anymore and I was hoping to play through it again.

If they did it didn't work. I constantly had a maxed-out wallet, which made opening chests in dungeons really annoying.

This is true, but at least they let you put money back in the chest so it wasn’t wasted. This is, arguably, the greatest innovation of TP.

Rupees are stupid! They should put new things in chests! And maybe even make it a real RPG!

I agree with all of you that rupees are ridiculously plentiful. Nintendo knows it too and they’ve taken a few different approaches towards the problem. Majora’s Mask had a bank for all of your unused rupees (which was absolutely brilliant and I’ve never understood why we haven’t seen a bank in Hyrule yet). Wind Waker had a gi-normous wallet and ridiculously huge rupees to find, but they jacked up the prices on items to compensate. Twilight Princess let you put rupees back in chests, so if you found money with a full wallet, you could always go back and get it when you needed it. Of these, I think MM’s bank solution was the best…but it still doesn’t address the main problem: there’s not much worth buying in any Zelda game.

There are a few titles where you will not run into this problem, however. The Minish Cap and Phantom Hourglass each manage to avoid this by not having rupees in every dungeon and having more things to actually spend rupees on. But even these titles could be better regarding rupee management.

The simple answer is to say that we simply need to have more things to buy. Armor, weapons, etc. The problem is that once you start doing that, it stops becoming a Zelda game. Zelda is not an RPG. It’s not an action RPG. It’s an adventure game. It’s not meant to be about stats or grinding or equipment or any of that OCD nonsense that we get out of an RPG. That’s simply not Zelda’s thang. Zelda is about immersion and exploration. Just like an RPG, there’s a sense of growth…but that comes from finding new tools or enhancing your repertoire of moves. It's not from buying new pants or leveling up.

Well, okay. In Zelda II it's about leveling but that's the only one.

So…what to do? Hell, I don’t know. I think where we’re at now in a post TP world isn’t a bad place to be. Nintendo could make bombs/arrows etc. harder to find in the wild, but that would lead to a lot of annoyance and frustration. I think a good solution would be to start charging for more things. You know those sword moves we learned in TP? Have a dojo like in MM and have the owner charge for each move he teaches you. Or give Link more magic to use and charge for scrolls. Keep the rupees coming but bring back the bank. Keep the "put rupees back"-thing from TP. Charge for a bit more stuff and bam. Money is now somehow useful. Can you imagine?

I guess, but I was actually imagining a true RPG Zelda, with armor with numerical values, status effects, elemental weapons... wait, crap, did I just invent a Zelda Metroidvania?

No, but you did just get closer to making a good 3D Castlevania than Konami's been able to.

Kishi
01-24-2009, 11:06 AM
Right. Instead of providing more things to buy, just make money more scarce. Go back to how it was in the original game, where you'd be rewarded with five Rupees for clearing out a whole room, rather than twenty for killing one Like Like. If you're going to have red Rupees, make them as rare as they were in A Link to the Past. And instead of sticking big money in chests, bring back the treasure trove rooms from the first four games, so you can see how much is there and just scoop up as much as you might need.

It looks like I won't be able to do a proper update until tomorrow or possibly even Monday. Sorry everyone, but it's coming.

I can't wait to bomb some Dodongos!

McClain
01-24-2009, 02:17 PM
I remember at one time hearing a rumor (or perhaps it was just a fanboy wish) that they were going to remake OoT (and maybe MM) with the TP Wii engine, waggle and aiming and all, and put it out at a budget price.

If they put them both on one disc, bug free and maybe added something (like a small bonus dungeon, or just upped the overall difficulty of the enemies) I think that could be really cool.

I really would like to replay this game, but I'm scared that so much of my love for it is through the haze of memory that I'd just be upset seeing the N64 blur magnified on my LCD TV. I'm tempted to drop the money to get the de-glazed version on virtual console, but the rumble-pack bug bums me out, and I hate to pay for a game I still own.

Hmmmmmm, maybe I'll just wait until I have kids and make them play it.

Phantoon
01-24-2009, 04:20 PM
How much did the bow cost in Link's Awakening? It was definitely worth saving for that. There admittedly wasn't much worth saving for after that, and you couldn't really do it for a quest critical item...

vaterite
01-24-2009, 05:04 PM
I remember at one time hearing a rumor (or perhaps it was just a fanboy wish) that they were going to remake OoT (and maybe MM) with the TP Wii engine, waggle and aiming and all, and put it out at a budget price.

"I thought they remade OOT with the TP engine and called it Twilight Princess?"

McClain
01-24-2009, 07:16 PM
"I thought they remade OOT with the TP engine and called it Twilight Princess?"

baZING!

liquid
01-24-2009, 07:50 PM
How about just making it so that you don't have to buy anything, and allowing the player to get any consumables from the environment, like deku sticks/nuts?

Actual items you could just, you know, find in dungeons or through sidequests.

Alixsar
01-26-2009, 12:49 AM
Episode 7: I Can’t Wait to Bomb Some Dodongos! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yjh2BnTTBs)

It’s true; I can’t wait.

Let’s Commit Genocide!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%207/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-38.jpg

Looks like I’ve come to the right place! Just to recap, we’re here to rid Dodongo’s Cavern of…uh, Dodongos. While that may seem like genocide at first glance, it’s not. Darunia explains later that Dodongos were extinct until that man somehow brought them back in order to cut off the Gorons’ food supply and force Darunia into giving him the Spiritual Stone of Fire.

So…we’re not committing genocide so much as we are re-extincting them. Blondie must sleep like an angel at night.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%207/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-37.jpg

This room serves as the hub for this dungeon. Each path that can be taken from here leads to another area that will eventually lead back to this main room. For a better/larger version of this kind of dungeon design, please play The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess and get to The Snow Dungeon™.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%207/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-36.jpg

No one likes getting smoke in their eyes, no matter what the reason. Isn’t that right 1950s rock and roll sensation The Platters? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57tK6aQS_H0)

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%207/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-35.jpg

Hi. I’m Dodongo’s Cavern, star of the early section of Ocarina of Time. Blowing up walls can be dangerous. Advances in Hylian construction have made most walls and doors in Hyrule to be inexplicably bomb proof. Setting off a bomb in an area like this may result in personal injury and will definitely result in you running around chopping down blades of grass to find more bombs. The safest way to protect yourself and others is to never use bombs. But in these uncertain times, sometimes there’s just no way to get through an area unless if you make your own door. So if you’re going to use bombs or bomb-like plants, make sure you do it right.

Check the wall for discoloration. Does this wall look like it doesn’t belong here? Chances are that’s because it doesn’t!

Hit the wall with your sword. Does your sword make a light “clink” noise or a heavier “clang” noise? Clink means that this wall was not made by licensed Hylian contractors and can be broken through. Clang means that this wall was made right here in Hyrule and is made out of the toughest wall-having ingredients. Make sure you know what you’re bombing before you let one loose!

If you and your friends follow these simple tips, you’ll be bombing like a pro in no time!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%207/the_more_you_know.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%207/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-34.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%207/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-33.jpg

These little buggers behave remarkably similar to Tektites. Their only attack is to hop around wildly at you. The catch is that once Blondie defeats the Baby Dodongo (two hits or a Jump Attack), they turn into ticking time-bombs. You only have a handful of seconds to get away from the Dodongo before it explodes. Hylian scientists speculate that Baby Dodongos explode after death because of high amounts of illegal fireworks in their diet.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%207/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-32.jpg

This is a terrible screenshot, but it showcases something important. Whenever Navi turns green, that means that there is something Blondie can interact with nearby. But occasionally, Navi will fly far off (like she did in this picture by flying to a ledge we cannot reach) and hover around a certain area while glowing green. Later in the game we’ll be given a way to access areas like this, but for now we have to move on. For those of you playing along at home, make a mental note every time you see Navi fly off like that.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%207/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-31.jpg

Meet our very first midboss: the Lizalfos! Lizalfos attack in groups of two, but only one Lizalfos will engage Blondie at a time. Their attack pattern is ridiculously simple. Just guard and wait for their attack, counterattack, and then guard again right away. After your counterattack, the Lizalfos will jump behind Blondie and try to attack while Blondie’s back is turned. If you’re mentally handicapped, having sex, trying to drink a beverage, trying to pack a bowl, trying to light a cigarette, left the room, aren't looking at the screen, or are legally blind, then you may have some trouble with this fight.

But otherwise, you should be laughing at how easy it is. More on this later in tonight’s update.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%207/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-30.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%207/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-29.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%207/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-28.jpg

Adult Dodongos are much larger than the baby versions we’ve encountered up to this point. Their main attack is to take a deep breath and then exhale fire. The trick to defeating them is to stay still while they breathe in, then circle around them as they breathe out. After striking their tail a few times, Adult Dodongos lie down and explode. Hylian scientists speculate that Adult Dodongos explode after death because of high amounts of Baby Dodongos in their diet.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%207/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-27.jpg

After contemplating the suicidal and ridiculous nature of his existence (as seen here), Blondie decided to set off a massive amount of explosives in order to cause the ceiling to cave in on him and ease his suffering forever.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%207/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-26.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%207/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-25.jpg

Ha, try again Blondie! Now you have a way to move up to the next floor!

Alixsar
01-26-2009, 12:50 AM
http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%207/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-24.jpg

Statues, huh? Guess I’ve got to drag these out of the way of that chest.

Listen! These are no ordinary statues!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%207/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-23.jpg

Uh…

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%207/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-22.jpg

OH WHAT THE FUCK

Hey! That's an Armos! They don’t like being disturbed! Why don’t you try using one of the bomb flowers in this room?

WHY DON’T YOU SHUT UP A STATUE JUST DIDN’T TRY TO EAT YOU

Hey! Calm down! You’re the one who’s acting suicidal!

You would be too if you had to put up with all of this bullshit.

(You may have noticed that Navi just spoke to Blondie. You may not like it, but this is something that I will be doing more of in the future. I promise not to overdo it. Don’t worry; it will purely be for comedic purposes.

Before starting this LP, I considered doing the entire thing from Navi’s point of view. I ultimately decided against it since it would be a pain in the ass to explain gameplay concepts and just what makes this game so special while simultaneously role playing characters within the game. But this way, I can do both and drop in and out of “character” whenever the hell I want! Hooray for being lazy!)

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%207/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-21.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%207/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-20.jpg

Remember how I said that we would run into Keese that are on fire? Well, here they are. If I was equipped with a Deku Shield and got hit by one of these, my shield would burn away. But since I have the Hylian Shield and I’m smooth like buttah, we won’t ever need to worry about this.

Hey, you remember those jagged things that ran across the floor in the top down Zeldas? Weren’t they annoying?

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%207/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-19.jpg

Well here’s a terrible screenshot of what they look like in Ocarina of Time! And guess what? They’re still very annoying!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%207/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-18.jpg

After putting someone’s eye out and hopping across a few ledges, it’s time for a:

Video Challenge: When Lizalfos Attack!

Let’s fight an easy midboss! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_joXNIKE9Y)

Still Can’t Wait to Bomb Some Dodongos

After completely and utterly destroying the living hell out of those Lizalfos and crossing another eye switch/flame barrier room, Blondie stumbles across the prize for this dungeon.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%207/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-17.jpg

Finally. Wait, a stomach? Eww! Gross.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%207/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-16.jpg

What a lucky guy? So if a person blows things up in the real world, he’s a terrorist. But if you blow things up in Hyrule, that makes you a lucky guy. So does that mean that terrorists are lucky or that Blondie is a terrorist? Or both?

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%207/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-15.jpg

I. AM. AWESOME.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%207/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-14.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%207/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-13.jpg

Upon reaching the highest level of Dodongo’s Cavern, Blondie follows a cryptic clue and drops bombs into the giant skull at the center of the cavern. As the giant Dodongo’s eyes are lit by bomb fumes, his mouth opens for no clearly discernible reason and a pathway that leads further into the dungeon opens up.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%207/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-12.jpg

You’re welcome, spineshark.

After solving a series of puzzles I have deemed too boring to waste time talking about, it’s time for our second true boss fight!

Video Challenge: Infernal Dinosaur King Dodongo

Okay, NOW I can bomb some Dodongos! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-7PWyHr_-ts)

Alixsar
01-26-2009, 12:51 AM
http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%207/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-10.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%207/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-9.jpg

Darunia drops out of the sky and violently congratulates Blondie for a job well done.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%207/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-8.jpg

Isn’t having your stomach burst typically considered a bad thing?

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%207/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-7.jpg

Yes, of course. This is where Darunia tells us about the Dodongos being extinct and what-not, but you already know that. In short, it seems that Ganondorf really is up to no good, making Zelda’s previously insane request seem not that insane in retrospect.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%207/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-6.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%207/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-5.jpg

After agreeing to become Darunia’s Sworn Brother, Blondie receives the Goron’s Ruby! Alright, that’s two out of three Spiritual Stones! We’re almost there!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%207/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-4.jpg

I could make a gay joke here, but I think you can all come up with something on your own.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%207/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-3.jpg

I think I will! Thanks, Darunia!

But first…it’s slapstick time!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%207/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-2.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%207/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-1.jpg

Haha! Run, Blondie! They’re very large and hugging you would be most uncomfortable! AHAHAHA

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%207/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV12s.jpg

OH MAN HE FELL DOWN! That’s funny because now he can’t get away and will be stuck in an uncomfortable situation! AHAHA Kill me now I can’t take this slapstick crap

Next Time on A Brief History of Time:

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%207/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-3.jpg

I think I will! Thanks, Darunia!

Makkara
01-26-2009, 04:07 AM
Check the wall for discoloration. Does this wall look like it doesn’t belong here? Chances are that’s because it doesn’t!

That's racism!

Shadax
01-26-2009, 04:38 AM
Oh boy, the next dungeon is terrible!

Phantoon
01-26-2009, 05:43 AM
I did Jabu Jabu's belly very drunk, so I actually don't remember it. I heartily recommend this approach.

Elfir
01-26-2009, 06:18 AM
This is the first update I've read while not at work and thus able to watch the videos. Damn those are most excellent videos. I need to go back and watch the rest now!

Bongo Bill
01-26-2009, 08:50 AM
I seem to recall that if you can kill King Dodongo with two (or three?) jump attacks with deku sticks. That's what they are good for; a deku stick has huge attack power. I think they're stronger than the Master Sword.

Brickroad
01-26-2009, 08:52 AM
I seem to recall that if you can kill King Dodongo with two (or three?) jump attacks with deku sticks. That's what they are good for; a deku stick has huge attack power. I think they're stronger than the Master Sword.

There's this cool glitch where if you break a Deku Stick in exactly the right way, it snaps in half but you can still use it. It stays like that until you switch items, and is indeed as powerful or moreso than the Master Sword.

TheSL
01-26-2009, 09:00 AM
Oh boy, the next dungeon is terrible!

Its even worse in that Master Quest version of the game and the #1 reason why I never finished that remake.

Tanto
01-26-2009, 09:18 AM
I seem to recall that if you can kill King Dodongo with two (or three?) jump attacks with deku sticks. That's what they are good for; a deku stick has huge attack power. I think they're stronger than the Master Sword.

King Dodongo dies in three jump attacks from the Kokiri Sword, though, so I'm not sure you're saving yourself a ton of effort there.

Merus
01-26-2009, 09:54 AM
Doesn't the video show three regular attacks?

McClain
01-26-2009, 10:31 AM
Its even worse in that Master Quest version of the game and the #1 reason why I never finished that remake.

Oh, man, I got stuck in there forever! I somehow managed to get past that and all the way to the temple in the desert (where you have to switch from kid/adult) and I don't think i ever made it past that. I know I never beat the master quest. That shit was bogus. All I really wanted was more/harder enemies, not impossible puzzles.

Also look forward to the most disappointing thing about OoT: The boomerang. Seriously. You get it right before becoming an adult, and then you can't use it as an adult, but it kind of sucks anyway. WW and TP kind of work in 3D, but it blows in OoT. And I loved the boomerang in 2D zelda. I've owned several boomerangs based solely on my Zelda love.

(Was there a boomerang in MM?)

Bongo Bill
01-26-2009, 11:21 AM
(Was there a boomerang in MM?)

You had organic boomerangs when you wore a certain transformation mask, but no boomerang item.

Shadax
01-26-2009, 11:39 AM
You had organic boomerangs

I am seriously reconsidering putting aside my hatred of fetch-questing to try MM now.

Alixsar
01-26-2009, 12:35 PM
I am seriously reconsidering putting aside my hatred of fetch-questing to try MM now.

You should; it's one of the best Zeldas ever made.

Doesn't the video show three regular attacks?

No, I screwed it up a bit. My first attack was a regular attack instead of a Jump Attack. You'll notice that I do a Jump Attack after it because I couldn't remember if you could get two hits in or not. Apparently you can't. That's also where the 1/4 heart of damage comes from. Early Zelda bosses can typically take three hits before going down or changing form or something. It's pretty much a rule. But three Jump Attacks will kill King Dodongo. I don't know exactly how strong Deku Sticks are, but I know they're not the strongest item in the game. That honor goes to the Giant's Knife, which should be showing up a few updates from now.

Oh boy, the next dungeon is terrible!

Yes, it is. I don't mind playing it but I'm dreading writing about it. The same is true for the Water Temple, only moreso.

I did Jabu Jabu's belly very drunk, so I actually don't remember it. I heartily recommend this approach.

Hmm. I'll record the commentary for the boss video while drunk. How does that sound?

Makkara
01-26-2009, 12:48 PM
You should; it's one of the best Zeldas ever made.

Perhaps the best! Besides Zelda II, natch.


Hmm. I'll record the commentary for the boss video while drunk. How does that sound?

That sounds like a very good plan indeed, my dear fellow.

Patrick
01-26-2009, 12:51 PM
Perhaps the best!

I know that it's my favorite, anyway.

Bongo Bill
01-26-2009, 12:54 PM
I know that it's my favorite, anyway.

And mine. There need to be a hundred games that slavishly ape Majora's Mask. One of them is bound to be better.

Oathbreaker
01-26-2009, 05:15 PM
Yes, it is. I don't mind playing it but I'm dreading writing about it. The same is true for the Water Temple, only moreso.

Sir, I cannot imagine Jabu Jabu's belly being anywhere near as ludicrous as the Water Temple. But I haven't played the Master Quest yet, so maybe I'm wrong.

Also, I demand more Navi-Link dialogue, because that shit's always funny. Unless you're too lazy, in which case disregard this. But it's still funny as hell.

vaterite
01-26-2009, 06:35 PM
And mine. There need to be a hundred games that slavishly ape Majora's Mask. One of them is bound to be better.

Another round of applause for Majora's Mask. It is tied (with Wind Waker) for my favorite.

Also, I am sad to hear the dungeon in the belly of the whale is even harder in the Master Quest. I'm that version along with this Let's Play, and now I am going to cry.

McClain
01-26-2009, 09:13 PM
I think that MM is the best AND worst Zelda game at the same time. I absolutely loved it the first time I played it, and I adore the changes to the formula (a practice Nintendo has fiercely fought against since), but I find the game nigh impossible to replay. It's basically a mystery, and I already know all the answers.

I think I'll enjoy it again when my future as-of-yet-unborn kid plays through my old games (since I'm sure geek is hereditary). It'll take another decade or so to fully forget its glory.

Sanagi
01-27-2009, 12:09 AM
I don't remember what's different about Jabu-Jabu in master quest. But the water temple in master quest is actually easier than the original. At least I found it less confusing.

Gredlen
01-27-2009, 12:28 AM
I don't remember what's different about Jabu-Jabu in master quest.

There are cows embedded in the walls of flesh. You have to shoot them with your slingshot and they moo. It's pretty horrifying.

Kishi
01-27-2009, 02:54 AM
I was going to wait until the next update to mention it, but...yeah. Live cows embedded in Lord Jabu-Jabu's stomach lining. It's pretty much nightmare fuel.

Azar
01-27-2009, 06:00 AM
Aren't some of the cows actually switches to open doors or move platforms or something? Man, I love Master Quest.

Some of the shit in that game is downright devious--invisible treasure chests that only reward you with rupees, switches hidden in wells...I wish I could remember more examples.

PapillonReel
01-27-2009, 06:03 AM
I was going to wait until the next update to mention it, but...yeah. Live cows embedded in Lord Jabu-Jabu's stomach lining. It's pretty much nightmare fuel.

It's been a while so I'm not 100% sure, but I think you could even milk some of the cows with Epona's Song as well. Which... is even more horrifying, now that I think about it.

Sanagi
01-27-2009, 08:06 AM
There are cows embedded in the walls of flesh. You have to shoot them with your slingshot and they moo. You should replay Master Quest because you've somehow forgotten the best part.
Whatever you say, boss!

rockintomordor
01-27-2009, 08:33 AM
But the water temple in master quest is actually easier than the original. At least I found it less confusing.

I think it's because the reworkings of the dungeon removed that devious small key glitch where you could get stuck if you somehow open the doors in a weird way. I think without that fear hanging over your head, the temple just seems much less intimidating.

DeeMer
01-27-2009, 10:04 AM
I think it's because you can get the Longshot earlier than I think was intended. You can find and open its chest without touching water levels at all.

Alixsar
01-31-2009, 12:17 PM
Episode 8: The Treacherous Trail and The Triangular Tits

This update is kind of short, and mostly video based. There will be more action next time, I promise. I would have had it up sooner, but Viddler was being difficult. It’s all set now though, so enjoy.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-26.jpg

After escaping death-by-hug from Darunia, it’s time to head celebrate by climbing an extremely tall volcano! Now that we have bombs, we can clear the large circular boulders from our path in this area. Despite the fact that we've been inside this mountain at two different places, there’s been no signs of any volcanic activity barring a few small lava pits in Dodongo’s Cavern (one of which dried up). I don’t remember much from the Geology class I took in college, but from the evidence that I have gathered and what little I can remember, it seems safe to say that Death Mountain is inactive.

But since this is a game, things like this don’t need to make any sense. Death Mountain is still very active and very much a pain in the ass.

Blondie vs. the Volcano

The Treacherous Trail (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vaJFYef-WiE)

You’ll Put Your Eye Out!

Seriously. Those boobs are sharp, man. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPLDHISINPo)

Rich Man, Poor Man

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-24.jpg

Kaepora is “nice” enough to drop us off on top of the roof of what used to be Impa’s House. Now why he would drop us off on the roof instead of, you know, the ground is beyond me. The positive side of this situation is that this will help us get a Heart Piece sooner than we should be able to. Remember that hole above Anju’s Chicken Emporium that I showed you earlier? Well now we can drop off the side of the roof…

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-23.jpg

…and land right on top of Anju’s Chicken Emporium’s roof, right next to the hole.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-22.jpg

Ta dah! We’re one piece away from seven hearts. You know, I always wondered how this cow got in here. He obviously couldn’t have gotten in the way I did. Even if they open that gate, how would they get the cow inside the building? The door isn’t big enough to fit a cow through. I guess this is another one of those “you’re not supposed to think of this”-thing. Maybe they built around it?

Missing this piece isn’t as big of a deal as you might think. Later in the game we’ll be getting an item that will allow us to Spider-Man around from rooftop to rooftop. If you miss the Heart Piece now, you can always come back and get it once you find the Web Shooter in the Forest Temple or the Web Shooter Plus in the Water Temple.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-21.jpg

Meanwhile, thanks to some Gold Skulltulas I killed on Death Mountain Trail and in Dodongo’s Cavern, we’re at well over ten Gold Skulltulas killed. It appears that the first member of the Skulltula family has been freed from the curse! He’s so excited about not being a spider anymore that all this family member does is stand in the corner and do jumping jacks. In fact, that’s all any of the family members do once you free them. Stand around and do mother fucking jumping jacks.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-20.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-19.jpg

Well, that and give us fabulous prizes. We can now hold 200 rupees! This will be very useful once we get to a certain salesman who sells some magical beans in the next update.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-18.jpg

Now that we have a magic gauge to worry about in addition to our life gauge, it’s only fitting that we should be able to find some kind of one-use item that refills our magic gauge. In addition to magic jars, you can also find magic pouches which refill quite a bit more magic than a magic jar does.

Fortunately for us, you almost never need to use magic so there’s no reason to ever worry about any of this. We’re done in Kakariko for the time being. Now that we have bombs a whole slew of places are open for us to explore. Let’s start by heading back to Hyrule Castle Town.

Alixsar
01-31-2009, 12:18 PM
You’ll Put Your Eye Out: Part 2

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-17.jpg

Now that we have bombs, we can get into a hidden cavern underneath this tree. There are a number of hidden areas in Hyrule Field, but most are impossible to detect without our next reward from the House of Skulltula. And since I’m playing on an emulator that isn’t compatible with force feedback, I won’t be able to detect them at all! Hell yes.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-16.jpg

There’s no purpose for this screenshot. I just think it looks pretty. Hey, it’s my LP. I’ll do what I want. More importantly, it’s time for us to get our first magic spell. Let’s make our way towards Hyrule Castle.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-15.jpg

Here’s that Bombchu Shop I vaguely mentioned earlier. There is no reason to ever come to this shop ever. Bombchus are fairly useless, expensive, and only necessary for a handful of spots in the game. We’ll find enough on our own to get us through the game. I did want to drop by at some point though so you could see what the shop owner looks like. I didn’t want to have to explain who Michael-Stipe-Dressed-Like-Rob-Halford is during the inevitable end credits update.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-14.jpg

Hey, a dog! And it’s following us! And he seems slightly faster than the other dogs around here!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-13.jpg

It seems like her dog went missing and Blondie found it. Wow, what a completely unexpected turn of events! I didn’t predict this several updates ago or anything!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-12.jpg

Thanks Neck Fat Lady (seriously, look at that hump on her neck that’s so gross). Seven heart pieces. What now, Ganondorf? Do something about it.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-11.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-10.jpg

See? I told you it wasn’t a dead end. It’s really the entrance to…

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-9.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-8.jpg

…another Great Fairy’s Fountain. This Fairy will grant us the only magic ability that we need in order to complete the game. The other fairies are essentially optional. The ability we get from this fairy will enable us to enter a dungeon much later in the game.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-7.jpg

Everybody say Hey! Ho! Hey! Ho!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-6.jpg

More pointy underboob for you all. You’re welcome, perverts.

Alixsar
01-31-2009, 12:19 PM
http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-5.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-4.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-3.jpg

Din’s Fire is the first and only attack spell we will receive in this game (excluding our magic spin attack). Before the game is through, we’ll be receiving a completely useless support spell and a defensive spell. For the overwhelming majority of the game, Din’s Fire is the only “useful” way to expend magic energy.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-2.jpg

Fire burns things? No way! Not only is OoT a great game, its educational too!

Let’s Become Indentured Servants: Part 4

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-1.jpg

Thanks to the magic of The Sun’s Song, it’s time to turn in our money from selling the Spooky Mask.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV12s.jpg

Bunny Hood, eh? This is, by far, the hardest mask to sell. If this wasn’t an LP, I would definitely skip this part. But I guess I have some sort of contractual obligation to do it. Fuck. Let’s do a bunch of sidequests next time, then the third spiritual stone dungeon, and THEN I’ll do it. Sound like a plan?

Next Time on A Brief History of Time:

Dr. Blondie's Mean Bean Machine, and more minigames than you can shake a stick at.

Pajaro Pete
01-31-2009, 04:39 PM
http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-7.jpg
http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-4.jpg

Man, if you let this thing live long enough to get its special attack off, you're doing it wrong. You need to kill these horrible bosses off as quick as possible.

...wait, what do you mean that's not a boss?

Kishi
01-31-2009, 05:44 PM
The Spin Attack is made useful by the fact that you can unleash it just by giving the analog stick a full rotation and then attacking. There's no charge time or MP use that way.

Sanagi
01-31-2009, 08:17 PM
...wait, what do you mean that's not a boss?
I don't care if they fight you or not, the skanky fairies are totally evil. They're horrific to behold and they have dominatrix laugh. To this day I have no idea how they managed to get into a Nintendo game.

Indalecio
01-31-2009, 08:52 PM
I think they were going for a Fair Folk (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheFairFolk) vibe here. Those things were pretty creepy.

McClain
01-31-2009, 10:46 PM
I don't care if they fight you or not, the skanky fairies are totally evil. They're horrific to behold and they have dominatrix laugh. To this day I have no idea how they managed to get into a Nintendo game.

Those damn things messed me up for life. They make Tingle seem like a joyful, brilliant addition to the cast.

Bongo Bill
01-31-2009, 10:53 PM
Those damn things messed me up for life. They make Tingle seem like a joyful, brilliant addition to the cast.

Tingle has grown on me in the years since Majora's Mask, but my opinion of those damned great fairies started at Horrible and has only gotten worse.

xxtymmie
01-31-2009, 11:01 PM
Tingle has grown on me in the years since Majora's Mask, but my opinion of those damned great fairies started at Horrible and has only gotten worse.

http://www.zeldawiki.org/images/3/39/Great_Fairy_WW.png

At least the Great Fairies in Wind Waker weren't bad.
Thank goodness for that.

Bongo Bill
01-31-2009, 11:19 PM
Twilight Princess' was fine as well. It's just the N64 games.

I am pretty sure they are the reason that I've never so much as attempted to complete the Majora's Mask find-the-fairies sidequests.

McClain
01-31-2009, 11:46 PM
Twilight Princess' was fine as well. It's just the N64 games.

I am pretty sure they are the reason that I've never so much as attempted to complete the Majora's Mask find-the-fairies sidequests.

The tone of Majora's Mask was so... off that it didn't seem out of place there. But the first time I saw the ones in OoT, I was freaked out.

The ones from WW look like bugs, but that's not really a problem for a fairy.

Alixsar
02-01-2009, 12:14 AM
The Spin Attack is made useful by the fact that you can unleash it just by giving the analog stick a full rotation and then attacking. There's no charge time or MP use that way.

It still isn't worth the trouble, I think. If you mess it up then you end up leaving yourself open and the damage it does isn't anything stellar. In my opinion, the only time the Spin Attack is ever useful is in Twilight Princess for the Wii. But that's about it.

Adrenaline
02-01-2009, 01:20 AM
I always liked the N64 Great Fairies. You guys are all queers.

Dynastic Bird
02-01-2009, 07:58 AM
It still isn't worth the trouble, I think. If you mess it up then you end up leaving yourself open and the damage it does isn't anything stellar. In my opinion, the only time the Spin Attack is ever useful is in Twilight Princess for the Wii. But that's about it.

Uh, the point of the circle-around (as opposed to the sucky charge) is to PREVENT you from being surrounded.

Actually, I've found it useful in some of the 2d games, if only to cut grass. What happened in Twilight Princess? I forget.

McClain
02-01-2009, 09:24 AM
Uh, the point of the circle-around (as opposed to the sucky charge) is to PREVENT you from being surrounded.

Actually, I've found it useful in some of the 2d games, if only to cut grass. What happened in Twilight Princess? I forget.

In TP on the Wii you could do it without a charge via waggle. The only problem is it was way similar to the shield-push and I could never do the shield push the right way, which was REALLY annoying against the big dudes.

Also really liked the hurricane spin on WW, even if it did leave you dizzy after!

PapillonReel
02-01-2009, 09:29 AM
Actually, I've found it useful in some of the 2d games, if only to cut grass.

It was also helpful against some bosses and enemies too since back then it also had double damage going for it. Coupled with the fact that it could hit and knock back anything surrounding you at the same time, the spin attack was great for crowd control or even just hitting enemies harder. For new players facing Kholdstare or Vitrious for the first time, for example, it could be a lifesaver (or for experts, a timesaver).

This isn't so much a problem in OoT since there are other, faster ways of killing enemies that you don't really need to bother with the charge up, but sometimes being able to spin around and strike enemies trying to swarm you comes in handy at times, especially if you master the insta-spin technique Kishi mentioned.

Kirin
02-01-2009, 09:56 AM
Hey Alixsar, this LP is great and I hate to sound like a spoil-sport, but could you provide quick text summaries for the video portions going forward? I can't really watch videos at work, and for some reason viddler works like ass for me at home (choppy frame-rate and the sound de-synchs like crazy). I'm not asking for full transcriptions, just something short, like "met a freaky-ass fairy, learned spin attack, got a magic meter to go with it..." so people aren't lost if they have to skip it.

vaterite
02-01-2009, 08:31 PM
Also really liked the hurricane spin on WW, even if it did leave you dizzy after!

I really liked the hurricane spin on WW because it left you dizzy after.

Alixsar
02-07-2009, 10:49 AM
Episode 9: The Case of the Missing Tuna Dolphin Princess

Welcome to another sidequest-oriented episode of Ocarina of Time. Today we’ll be wasting as much time as humanly possible before moving the story forward. This will be another video-heavy episode, so make sure you’re not at work behind some kind of firewall right now.

What’s that? You are at work? Oh. Maybe you should quit. You don’t even like working there!

Fuck It, Dude. Let’s Go Bowling.

Before we leave Hyrule Castle Town, there’s one more thing I’ve been neglecting/dreading. Let’s head back to…

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%209/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-48.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%209/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-47.jpg

*sigh* Yes, I do. The prizes given out at the Bombchu Bowling Alley are random but one of them is a Heart Piece. Unfortunately, our first prize is…

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%209/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-43.jpg

Fifty rupees? Come on! That doesn’t help me at all.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%209/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-46.jpg

At the beginning of the game, you are given 10 Bombchus. Bombchus are small bombs that look like mice. Once placed on the ground…

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%209/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-45.jpg

…Bombchus will move forward until they hit something or a small amount of time passes. The goal of Bombchu Bowling is to use your 10 Bombchus to hit three targets like this one. After you destroy the first target…

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%209/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-44.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%209/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-42.jpg

…the wall falls down and reveals another wall farther back with a second target. This target can be in one of three places: the left, the right, or in the exact middle like the first target was. To make matters a bit more intimidating, a Cucco is added in the area between where the first target was and the second. The Cucco will shamble back and forth in an attempt to block your Bombchus. Aiming for the middle is considerably easier than aiming for the sides, but when life gives you lemons…

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%209/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-41.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%209/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-40.jpg

…you make some fuckin’ good ass lemonade.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%209/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-39.jpg

Super Ultra Mega Chicken is added to make this game even more annoying, but I was able to nail the final target after a few tries. Victory is ours, Blondie!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%209/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-38.jpg

Behold! The spoils of war! The fruits of our labor!

I’ve already got 170 of these.

What was that, Blondie? What…why did you do that? That’s stinkin’ thinkin’ right there. I’m trying to be positive here, man.

Yeah, but what you didn’t tell all of these people is how many times you had to do this in order to get these screenshots. You even tried to record a video of this like, what? 20 times? More than that? This minigame is bullshit, man! Complete bullshit.

Blondie has a good point. This minigame is bullshit. Since we didn’t get the Heart Piece as a reward, we’re going to have to do this one more time.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%209/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-47.jpg

Let’s do it! I’m pumped! Hopefully this time our reward will b-

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%209/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-37.jpg

FUCK

*hours later*

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%209/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-36.jpg

Well, now we’ve got Bombchus! This…uh, was the plan all along!

Too bad we won’t need them for another…what, five dungeons? Six dungeons? I don’t even remember.

You stay out of this. The point is that now we have some super rare/super expensive Bombchus to mess around with, should I feel inclined to do so.

Now, this time I’d friggin’ better get tha-

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%209/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-35.jpg

Oh. Thanks to the power of editing, we now have our Heart Piece! We can now leave the Bombchu Bowling Alley forever. We’re done in Castle Town for now. Let’s head for the next area we need to explore, Zora’s River!

Alixsar
02-07-2009, 10:50 AM
Traveling Riverside Blues

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%209/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-33.jpg

Right inside Zora’s River, we’re confronted yet again by Kaepora Gaebora. It seems that at the end of Zora’s River lies Zora’s Domain. Zora’s Domain is not open to the public but they will accept a Messenger From The Royal Family. Gee, I wonder if we’ll need to play Zelda’s Lullaby again?

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%209/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-32.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%209/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-31.jpg

Next to Kaepora’s location lies this peculiar salesman. In addition to having one of the most horrifying mouths I’ve ever seen, this man sells Magic Beans. When planted in the right spots, the beans will sprout and later in our adventure we’ll be able to access areas we otherwise couldn’t reach. Let’s buy one!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%209/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-30.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%209/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-29.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%209/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-28.jpg

Conveniently, a soft spot is located directly next to the bean salesman. This one is used to cross Zora’s River easily and gain access to a Heart Piece that I’m going to pick up in this update anyway. Most of the beans give Blondie access to areas with a Heart Piece, but a few only exist to give him access to Gold Skulltulas or shortcuts or other things that I don’t care about. We’re going to be needing a few more.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%209/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-27.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%209/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-26.jpg

What? The price just doubled! Each time you buy a Magic Bean (out of a total of 10), the salesman raises the price ten rupees. Luckily, since I’m only going to plant the beans that will get us Heart Pieces, I’m not going to have to go completely broke multiple times buying Magic Beans. I’m only going to have to go broke twice.

But enough about beans, let’s move further down Zora’s River. Come on, Cucco! Let’s go!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%209/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-25.jpg

With the help of Random Cucco That He Found, Blondie was able to cross Zora’s River. See that platform I marked with my mad MSPaint skillz? Without the Cucco, you can’t reach it. Hell, even with the Cucco it’s almost impossible. But if you use the same fly-with-a-Cucco-let-go-mid-air-and-grab-the-ledge trick that I did before during Anju’s Quest (see Episode 5 (http://www.toastyfrog.com/talkingtime/showpost.php?p=379862&postcount=93)), it is possible to reach this ledge.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%209/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-24.jpg

From there, it’s a small leap to our second Heart Piece. Two more until we hit the eight hearts mark.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%209/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-23.jpg

A bit further up the river, an Octorok appears! You probably know Octoroks better as Those Blue and Red Things That Keep Shooting Rocks at Me…Dude, I Don’t Know What They’re Called from the original Legend of Zelda. They are defeated in the same manner as the Deku Scrubs we’ve encountered previously. Simply lock on, guard, and wait it out. One reflected shot is all it takes to take down an Octorok. We'll be seeing more of them in our next dungeon.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%209/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-22.jpg

At the end of Zora’s River is the source: a giant waterfall. A crest on the ground talks about the Royal Family, and after playing Zelda’s Lullaby, the water’s flow slows enough to let Blondie into Zora’s Domain.

Holy Diver

You've been down too long in the midnight sea (Oh what's becoming of me) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0MgVQZ8ETgQ)

Video Summary: Blondie completes the diving minigame in Zora’s Domain, catches a fish for no good reason, and decides to brighten up the Zora’s homeland.

The World Bean Tour

The importance of lighting that particular torch is that it never dies out. Four other…

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%209/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-21.jpg

…torches are…

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%209/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-20.jpg

…located in Zora’s Domain, but they only stay lit temporarily. The trick to this puzzle is to light that one torch at the base of the stairs, from there light the other two…

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%209/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-19.jpg

…then run behind this waterfall and light two more to get:

Alixsar
02-07-2009, 10:51 AM
http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%209/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-18.jpg

Ta da. Heart Piece, yo.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%209/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-17.jpg

Just outside of Zora’s Domain is this small pond. Now that we have the Silver Scale, maybe we can find something at the bottom?

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%209/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-16.jpg

Like a warp to the Lost Woods, perhaps?

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%209/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-15.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%209/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-14.jpg

After taking the Lost Woods warp back to Goron City, Blondie uses his relatively new Bomb Bag to stop Hot Rodder (see Episode 6 (http://www.toastyfrog.com/talkingtime/showpost.php?p=382262&postcount=114)) and receives a bomb bag upgrade.

Now that we have a Bomb Bag/are in the area, we can blow open holes in the side of Death Mountain Trail.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%209/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-13.jpg

Unfortunately, there’s nothing super important in any of the hidden areas. But hey, fifty rupees will get us closer to more Magic Beans. That’s something. I have several options at my disposal for filling my wallet right now if I really wanted to get all of the beans, but these fifty rupees should be enough.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%209/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-12.jpg

At the base of Dodongo’s Cavern is another bean spot. Yet another lies in Kakariko’s Graveyard. But the bean planting tour isn’t done yet, oh no!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%209/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-11.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%209/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-10.jpg

Far from Castle Town and Lon Lon Ranch is this rocky area and the entrance to Gerudo Valley.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%209/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-9.jpg

Kaepora stops us and tells us that this is area is dangerous and that we should head back and go do stuff to move the story forward. What the fuck is this? This is Zelda! The whole point is to explore! You can’t tell me what I “should” or “shouldn’t” do! That’s the exact opposite of what Zelda is supposed to do!

Oh man. I suddenly understand why some people hate this game.

I Hope That Someone Gets My

Message in a Bottle (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUMTX1S4LO0)

Video Summary: With the help of a chicken, Blondie makes first contact with the extremely angular-nosed Gerudo. Beans are planted and insults are traded. Blondie escapes to Lake Hylia, where a mysterious item is found.

Find the Fish

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%209/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-8.jpg

See? I told you it was large.

After examining the bottle he just found, Blondie finds a message from Princess Ruto, the Princess of the Zora. It seems that she has somehow been swallowed by Lord Jabu Jabu, the patron fish of the Zora. Having never been a fan of genocide and murder that he wasn’t committing himself, Blondie resolves himself to investigate the fishicide of Princess Ruto.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%209/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-7.jpg

Blondie decides to leave Lake Hylia via its main gate. Although there is a much quicker route, this way we enable Blondie to get yet another Heart Piece.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%209/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-6.jpg

Kaepora stops us yet again and says…something. I don’t even remember what. I skipped the entirety of the conversation. I’m kind of sick of Kaepora getting in my way.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%209/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-5.jpg

Just outside of Lake Hylia’s gate (which Blondie cannot climb back over without the help of a certain NPC), Blondie discovers that bombs can indeed make holes in the ground.

I already knew that.

Just get in the hole.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%209/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-4.jpg

A Business Scrub? Here? Most peculiar!

Alixsar
02-07-2009, 10:52 AM
http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%209/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-3.jpg

I dunno; seems a bit pricey.

Hey! We’ll take it (shut up, Blondie!).

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%209/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-2.jpg

Booya! Eight hearts y’all.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%209/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-1.jpg

Unfortunately, now we have no way of getting back to Lake Hylia. We need to bring the bottle we found back to Zora’s Domain…which means Blondie is in for a long walk.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%209/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV12s.jpg

Thankfully, this is the last bean we’ll need. We now have two in storage and multiple beans already planted. Those two beans we’ll be needing much later, but the other bean spots that we didn’t plant in are entirely optional. Well…okay, they’re all technically optional but these are, like, super optional.

King Zora's Request

Seriously, though. Tea and milk. It’s good. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6d4BN8xed0M)

Video Summary: Blondie speaks to King Zora regarding his daughter’s disappearance, and Blondie introduces us all to an old friend of his: Pierre, the magical tap dancing scarecrow.

It seems Pierre needs our help! He aches to move and groove like he did back in his college days! Maybe if we played a song for him, it would light his soul afire as Darunia before him?

Next time on A Brief History of Time:

Fishing, fish in a bottle, giant fish, fish king, fish princess, fish, fish, fish! It’s fish-mania!

Oh, and a dancing scarecrow.

Makkara
02-07-2009, 11:12 AM
Wrong privileges

You can't view a private video.

Why am I seeing this page? Oh, wait, here's why:

The video you attempted to watch is a shared video, meaning that its author has chosen specific friends to have privileges to watch it. If this video has been shared to you, you must log in to be able to watch it.

Adrenaline
02-07-2009, 11:18 AM
You have to fix the permissions on the videos!

Tanto
02-07-2009, 11:31 AM
I usually only buy five beans: Kakariko Graveyard, Lost Woods, Death Mountain Crater, Desert Colossus, and Death Mountain Trail. The first four are necessary to get Heart Pieces and Skulltulas, and the final one is not strictly speaking necessary, but I like to plant it to give me a little more margin for error in the trading game. The others only lead to things that can be gotten by other means.

You can also quickly reload on Rupees by playing songs for the frogs... They'll give you 50 rupees for each non-warp song you play them.

You know, my feeling is that of all Koji Kondo's many accomplishments, the Gerudo Valley theme is by far the greatest thing he's ever produced.

Alixsar
02-07-2009, 11:40 AM
You have to fix the permissions on the videos!

Fixed. Sorry everyone. I thought I changed the permissions last night but I guess I didn't. The videos are good to go now. I guess it's a good thing I double checked this thread before I went to work or else I'd REALLY look stupid. As opposed to only looking kind of stupid.

You can also quickly reload on Rupees by playing songs for the frogs... They'll give you 50 rupees for each non-warp song you play them.

You know, my feeling is that of all Koji Kondo's many accomplishments, the Gerudo Valley theme is by far the greatest thing he's ever produced.

Yeah but I'm holding off on the frogs until I have all the songs and can get the Heart Piece. I was able to get all the beans I needed without them, so it's no big loss. I agree about Gerudo Valley, though. It's incredible.

Kishi
02-07-2009, 01:02 PM
Blondie has a good point. This minigame is bullshit.

It is, but I give it a pass because the proprietor is so cute.


http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%209/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-32.jpg

Note that if you look at the bean salesman's tattoo sideways, it kind of resembles "1:01." With his pale complexion and blue tattoos, he also resembles the Bombchu salesman and treasure chest game proprietor in Castle Town.

If you hadn't already guessed, people were certain both of these things tied into some incredible time-based super-secret, which may or may not have ultimately led to the Trifroce.


Unfortunately, now we have no way of getting back to Lake Hylia. We need to bring the bottle we found back to Zora’s Domain…which means Blondie is in for a long walk.

Um, there's a helpful ladder right next to the gate. http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e200/grokyou/emot-shobon.gif

Tanto
02-07-2009, 01:53 PM
Um, there's a helpful ladder right next to the gate.

And if you jump into the Gerudo Valley river, it carries you back to Lake Hylia.

Lucas
02-07-2009, 02:43 PM
http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e200/grokyou/emot-shobon.gif

That ladder is the speedy way out of the Lake Hylia area. Getting in takes a little more effort, as I recall.

Kishi
02-07-2009, 02:55 PM
I just checked to make sure. There's a ladder on both sides.

dosboot
02-07-2009, 04:34 PM
I usually only buy five beans: Kakariko Graveyard, Lost Woods, Death Mountain Crater, Desert Colossus, and Death Mountain Trail. The first four are necessary to get Heart Pieces and Skulltulas, and the final one is not strictly speaking necessary, but I like to plant it to give me a little more margin for error in the trading game. The others only lead to things that can be gotten by other means.

My memory isn't certain but can't you just barely aim the hookshot to reach the crate in the graveyard?

xxtymmie
02-07-2009, 08:05 PM
For the heart piece that's on top of the Dodongo's Cavern you can back flip off of the ledge you throw the bomb flower.

PapillonReel
02-07-2009, 09:59 PM
:( I liked the Bombchu Bowling Alley...

Alixsar: Once you've used up all of the Magic Beans you're going to buy, or even once you've picked up the [Biggoron's Sword], will you be showing off the [Bottles duplication trick]? It's been a while, but I remember it being easy to pull off, and [having another bottle on-hand] is always a nice thing to have.

Alixsar
02-07-2009, 10:15 PM
And if you jump into the Gerudo Valley river, it carries you back to Lake Hylia.

Watch the second video.

My memory isn't certain but can't you just barely aim the hookshot to reach the crate in the graveyard?

For the heart piece that's on top of the Dodongo's Cavern you can back flip off of the ledge you throw the bomb flower.

This is all true, but I'm showing the way you're "supposed" to do it. It's also easier, and I'm having enough trouble putting this thing together as it is.

I just checked to make sure. There's a ladder on both sides.

This is true. I always forget about the ladder leading in. Well, whatever. Blondie took the long way.

:( I liked the Bombchu Bowling Alley...

Alixsar: Once you've used up all of the Magic Beans you're going to buy, or even once you've picked up the [turnip], will you be showing off the [griffon]? It's been a while, but I remember it being easy to pull off, and [having a griffon about] is always a nice thing to have.

No. That's cheating. If I'm getting another bottle it's the legit way...but I really don't want to since it's time consuming and annoying. Unless if you all really want me to but please don't make me do that.

Note that if you look at the bean salesman's tattoo sideways, it kind of resembles "1:01." With his pale complexion and blue tattoos, he also resembles the Bombchu salesman and treasure chest game proprietor in Castle Town.

If you hadn't already guessed, people were certain both of these things tied into some incredible time-based super-secret, which may or may not have ultimately lead to the Trifroce.

That's insane. I'd never heard of that before. Huh. Well, I can assure you all that it's bullshit.

It is, but I give it a pass because the proprietor is so cute.

You know, she reminds me of someone...

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/untitled.jpg

I guess technically Karen reminds me of the Bombchu Girl, but still.

mopinks
02-08-2009, 01:47 AM
It is, but I give it a pass because the proprietor is so cute.

we're not so different, you and I.

nadia
02-08-2009, 03:36 AM
Note that if you look at the bean salesman's tattoo sideways, it kind of resembles "1:01." With his pale complexion and blue tattoos, he also resembles the Bombchu salesman and treasure chest game proprietor in Castle Town.

If you hadn't already guessed, people were certain both of these things tied into some incredible time-based super-secret, which may or may not have ultimately led to the Trifroce.

Ha ha, I always figured he was a cross-breed between a Zora and a Goron.

PapillonReel
02-09-2009, 09:12 PM
No. That's cheating.

You're no fun. :(

Kishi
02-10-2009, 11:27 AM
I was able to sleepwalk through the final battles with three hearts and four bottles (of which I only used two). Five would just be excessive.

PapillonReel
02-10-2009, 12:59 PM
I was able to sleepwalk through the final battles with three hearts and four bottles (of which I only used two). Five would just be excessive.

I know. I just think it's a fun glitch, is all - it's a great way to pawn off useless items like the Claim Check or Magic Beans in exchange for a few more bottles to carry around with, which is always a nice thing to have even if you don't actually end up using them. Even better is when you go completely overboard with it; nothing quite beats how ridiculous it is to walk into the fight with Ganon or another boss with no less than twenty-four bottled fairies in stock. Madness!

Alixsar
02-15-2009, 07:09 PM
Shameless plug: I know it's been a week already. I'm late. But I'm working on something special for the next update, so please be patient with me. It'll be up in the next few days, hopefully tomorrow or the day after.

Alixsar
02-18-2009, 12:02 AM
I'm finally ready to update, and Photobucket decides to go under maintenance. Fuckin' a. This post will be replaced by the first part of my update tomorrow morning. Fucking Photobucket!!!

xxtymmie
02-18-2009, 04:58 AM
I'm finally ready to update, and Photobucket decides to go under maintenance. Fuckin' a. This post will be replaced by the first part of my update tomorrow morning. Fucking Photobucket!!!

Dammit, I was looking forward to a new update from this post!

rockintomordor
02-18-2009, 07:59 AM
Dammit, I was looking forward to a new update from this post!

As was I!

Alixsar
02-18-2009, 12:55 PM
A Brief History of Time: Official Reader Contest

As you already know, Ocarina of Time is my favorite Zelda game. I feel that it is, by far, the most important title in the series. One area that I’m going to be talking about a lot in future updates is how great the dungeon music in Ocarina of Time is and how it and the art direction truly set the game apart. I’d be kidding myself if I didn’t admit that OoT steals quite a fair share of music from previous Zelda titles, though. So, I thought it would be neat if I took you all on:

A Musical Trip Through Time (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=artleBh45sI) (I recommend that you listen to it as you read today's update)

Video Summary: The Zelda series has a lot of songs that have occurred in multiple games, and in this video I highlight some examples of Ocarina of Time borrowing liberally from other Zelda titles.

At the end of the video, you’ll hear the signature Zelda theme making an extremely well hidden appearance in the Hyrule Field Theme of OoT. To me, that particular “da da da da da dahhh”-noise instantly reminds me of Zelda. It’s something I associate with running through a field of monsters and deflecting rocks with my shield. It instantly takes me into the deepest dungeons and the highest mountains. These are all images and sounds that I instantly associate with Zelda.

But there are more; many more. Sitting in my sister’s room around the NES with my father and fighting through Death Mountain. Staying up all night at my friend Brian’s trying to conquer the Dark World. I could go on for pages about the good memories that thinking of the word “Zelda” instantly makes me recall.

But I’ve already talked a lot about Zelda, and I’m going to be talking about it a lot more before this LP is over. I think it’s time we hear from you.

I don’t want to hijack my own LP thread with pages of responses. So, let’s have a contest! It’s simple. Just answer the following question:

What does “Zelda” mean to you?

Answers can be as long or as short as you like. All replies must be submitted via Private Message or they will instantly be disqualified. All entries must be submitted by Saturday, March 14th.

The entry that I judge to be the best will be receiving a copy of The Legend of Zelda: Ganon’s Evil Tower (http://www.amazon.com/Legend-Zelda-Ganons-Evil-Tower/dp/B0000AZT6I) DVD, as well as a few other non-Zelda prizes. The winning entry will also be displayed in this thread. Depending on the quality of the submissions, I may post more than one entry and give out more than one prize.

So what are you waiting for? Get writing!

Well, and read the rest of this update too, of course.

Alixsar
02-18-2009, 12:56 PM
Episode 10: Fishin’, Fish-In, In a Fish, Fighting Fish, Out a Fish, Princess Fish: The Many Fish of Hyrule

We’re finally, finally almost into the real meat of the game. Just a few more small sidequests to wrap up and one more dungeon, and then we’ll be on our way to another boatload of sidequests and dungeons. At least these dungeons will be far more interesting and will allow me to go on many random tangents about how great Ocarina of Time is.

How Pierre Got His Groove Back

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-62.jpg

When I last left you all, Pierre still needed his groove back. Let’s play a song for him.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-61.jpg

I wrote it myself!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-60.jpg

The significance of this event may not be readily apparent. But for now, just keep in mind that we helped a scarecrow bust a move. If that’s not heroic, then I don’t know what is.

Legend of the River King

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-59.jpg

Before we leave to go confront Lord Jabu Jabu, let’s pay Hyrule’s Fishing Pond a visit.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-58.jpg

That’s why we’re here, yeah. I could go on a long rant explaining the mechanics of fishing, but let’s not bother with that. After all, fishing isn’t about having the right tools or the know-how. Fishing is about getting in a boat with friends and getting extremely drunk because what the hell else are you going to do sitting on a boat for several hours?

Sounds good to me.

Blondie, you can’t drink! You’re too young!

Oh, so I can save my country from certain doom but I can’t have a bottle of Hyrulecastle Brown Ale?

You’re supposed to be setting an example. You’re the Chosen One, remember?

Chosen to be bored, yeah.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-57.jpg

That’s right kids! With the new Nintendo Rumble Pak™ for the Nintendo 64™ game system, you can feel every bite! Feel the line tug as you reel in the big one! Feel every sword swing, every bomb blast! Feel your heart race as you chug a bottle of Milk!

The Nintendo Rumble Pak™ uses the latest in “eats up AAA batteries like a fat guy eats cupcakes” technology to make sure that you spend a good chunk of your allowance each week on something that only adds a marginal element of enjoyment to a game!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-56.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-55.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-54.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-53.jpg

Let me see if I have this right. This fish is almost as big as Blondie…yet it’s only 10 pounds. I know Blondie is just a kid, but I’m pretty sure he weighs more than 10 pounds. OoT has some overall outstanding art direction, so I’m willing to give them the occasional slip up like this.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-52.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-51.jpg

Later in the game, we can head back here and get another prize for catching a bigger fish.

We can also get a special lure for our fishing rod, the Sinking Lure. To this day, I still don’t know what the requirements for getting the Sinking Lure are. The Sinking Lure will spawn in one of a handful of locations in the Fishing Pond but is invisible to the naked eye. You have to run over it before you can even know if it’s there. Some people say that you can get it at this point in the game; others say you have to wait. Some say that the time of day affects when it appears; others say it does not. I frankly don’t know because I’ve never been into the fishing game and, whenever I did get the Sinking Lure, I wasn’t checking to see what the conditions were. I’m sure a few of you are going to post your own theories in response to this. All I care about is the Heart Piece, which we’ve already gotten.

More Triangular Tits: Now With Added Crotch Shots!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-50.jpg

Behind King Zora’s massive bum lies Zora’s Fountain, home of…uh, whatever the hell this thing is. It’s never made explicitly clear just what Lord Jabu Jabu is beyond “the guardian of the Zora”.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-49.jpg

Fun Fact: See that fish or whale or whatever? The entire dungeon we’re about to play through takes place inside it. Two art direction missteps in one update? You’re starting to worry me, Ocarina of Time.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-48.jpg

But first, let’s survey the surrounding area. A boulder, huh? Bombs should be able to take care of that.

Alixsar
02-18-2009, 12:58 PM
http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-47.jpg

…well, the boulder is still there but hey! That’ll work too.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-46.jpg

Inside this mysterious cave is yet another Great Fairy’s Fountain.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-45.jpg

This one has more crotch shots than the others we’ve visited. I…guess that’s a good thing? I find that most people don’t have enough vajayjay shots in their daily routine.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-44.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-43.jpg

This fairy gives us Farore’s Wind, the most useless item in the game. Using Farore’s Wind once creates a warp point. Using it again allows you to warp to that specific point. There is never a time that you ever need this. Adding to its uselessness, it can only be used in dungeons.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-42.jpg

And not even all of the dungeons. Thanks, Great Fairy. You’re a bitch.

Inside Lord Jabu Jabu

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-41.jpg

Alright, we need to get inside somehow, save Princess Ruto, and then find a way back out. When I was playing through this as a youngster, I kept trying to blow holes in the side of Jabu Jabu with bombs. While that makes perfect sense, that’s not how it’s done. It would save a lot of time, though.

Remember kids: Cannibalism? That's totally okay. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QyNLa0II1M)

Video Summary: Blondie needs to get inside a giant fish to rescue a human sized fish. What better way to get inside a fish to find a fish than with a fish? (don’t answer that because it’s stupid)

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-40.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-39.jpg

Suddenly, everything is huge. Jabu Jabu was certainly bigger than Blondie, but he wasn’t this big. Quick, someone alert Miyamoto! The art director has gone missing! Send out a search party!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-38.jpg

Our main enemies inside Lord Jabu Jabu are these bubbles. While Navi claims that they can’t be destroyed with a sword, it’s enti-

It’s true, they can’t!

Yes they can. You just need to use your thrust attack instead of your regular sword strike.

I’d like to use my thrust attack on Malon, if you know what I mean.

You stay out of this!

Yeah!

Well, excuuuuuse me!

My point is, these enemies aren’t anywhere near as intimidating as Navi’s description makes them out to be.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-37.jpg

I know this looks like a…uh, well…it looks like…look, it’s a door okay? It’s a door, and not part of a woman’s genitalia. Man, between the vagina doors and crotch shots, this is easily the most NSFW entry yet. I don’t know if I should be ashamed or what.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-36.jpg

These enemies, the Biri, are a far more serious threat than vaginas and bubbles. Blondie will get electrocuted if he comes into contact with a Biri. A Deku Seed or two will dispose of them, but they’re fairly aggressive and typically attack in groups. Luckily, we’ll be finding a quick and easy way to dispose of them inside this dungeon.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-35.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-34.jpg

In the next room, Princess Ruto is standing around and doing nothing in particular.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-33.jpg

It’s a song by The Police from the 1979 album Reggatta de Blanc. You messed up the title though; it’s “Message” not “Letter”.

Alixsar
02-18-2009, 12:59 PM
http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-32.jpg

Come on, they’re really good! Sting went on to have a very successful solo career and Stew-

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-32.jpg

Now you’re just being a bitch.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-31.jpg

Man, you weren’t kidding! She is a bitch!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-30.jpg

Ruto falls down a hole, and being the courageous fellow that he is, Blondie decides to go after her.

Wait, what?! No I don’t! She doesn’t even like The Police!

I don’t want to save her either, but this LP would be really boring if we stopped now. Get going.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-29.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-28.jpg

You’ve been going inside a giant fish since you were little? What the hell is wrong with you? Don’t you have some board games you can play or something? You’ve got problems.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-27.jpg

Look bro, she wants us to go. This place stinks and this bitch is really pissing me off. Let’s get out of here.

Ugh, fine. We’ll leave.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-26.jpg

…But only because we have to. After leaving the room and returning, Ruto sees that you aren’t going to put up with her royal attitude. She reluctantly agrees to go ahead with you, provided that you carry her the entire way.

Oh you are not even fucking serious right now.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-25.jpg

*hurgh* This is so weak.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-24.jpg

On the positive side of things, Ruto can be thrown like any other item you can carry. This means you can use her to pop Shaboms, which never gets old.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-23.jpg

These fellows are massive pains in the rear. They hide underground, fly into the air, and divebomb Blondie. Two well placed Deku Seeds will do them in, but they’re fairly quick and attack in groups. While you’re aiming at one, another will pop out of the ground behind you and hit you if you’re not careful. A lot of OoT’s enemies will do this: attack in groups and have one distract you while another attacks.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-22.jpg

Several uninteresting rooms later, we run into these fellows. Right now we don’t have any weapons that can hurt them. Well, technically we could use a bomb but that’d be a waste considering that…

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-21.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-20.jpg

…several Stingers later, we have a Boomerang! The Boomerang is one of the classic Zelda items, having been in damn well near every game since the original. Just like in every Zelda that’s ever had a Boomerang, hitting an enemy will typically not hurt them. It will stun them, however. Since this dungeon gave us the Boomerang, it follows the traditional Zelda formula and makes most of the enemies in this dungeon vulnerable to the item we find inside it. For example, the Boomerang can be used to hit a Tailpasaran’s tail while staying safely out of the reach of its pincers.

Shortly after leaving this dungeon, we’ll basically never be using the Boomerang ever again. This is a god damn shame for reasons that I hope I don’t have to explain. We will be getting a new/improved Boomerang in the form of the *spoiler*, but it’s not quite the same.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-19.jpg

The Boomerang can also be used to hit these…uh, whatever the hell they are.

Alixsar
02-18-2009, 01:01 PM
http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-18.jpg

Defeating that thing causes some tentacles that were blocking our way to disappear. Defeating the red tentacle thing-a-ma-bob opens up a path to fight a different colored tentacle thingy.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-17.jpg

In this screenshot, Blondie breaks his own spine with his shield. Don’t try this at home, kids!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-16.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-15.jpg

Another tentacle later, we find Zora’s Sapphire. Dungeon complete, right? Not quite. After throwing Ruto onto the platform with the Spiritual Stone, a giant Octorok appears. It’s midboss time!

Or at least it would be, except the video I created fighting the midboss became corrupted somehow and I forgot to make a save state (which I normally do before fighting a boss for just such an occurrence) before fighting the midboss.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-14.jpg

I did get a screenshot of him dying though. That’s something, right? Right? No? *sigh* Sorry everyone, I’ll be more careful with the save state making next time. If it makes any of you feel any better, this is by far the worst mid boss fight in the entire game and it would have been boring to watch.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-13.jpg

This puzzle might not seem like much now, but it was mind blowing at the time of OoT’s release. Blondie has to target a switch and maneuver his Boomerang around an obstruction in order to get into the boss room. Sure, 2D Zeldas had used the “hit the switch with a Boomerang” trick before, but they had never had a Link maneuver around obstructions and make sure that he was standing the correct distance before. It’s not terribly complex, but it is a tiny bit more to think about than in previous Zelda games.

Bio-Electric Anemone Barinade

It’s kind of like a giant top with jellyfish strapped to it. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8icx3WkONmE)

Video Summary: Blondie squares off against a giant electric jellyfish blob monster, with mixed results.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-12.jpg

I’m not sure I like where this is going. This isn’t going to turn into some weird Japanese porn movie, is it?

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-11.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-10.jpg

Thanks, I guess? What a backhanded compliment. Why are the women in this game such terrible, terrible people?

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-9.jpg

After being given yet another Hobson’s Choice regarding what he wants as a reward, Blondie is told about the true nature of the Zor-

I am not fucking doing this anymore. I am not marrying this fish. She doesn’t even like The Police!

You already said that.

I know, but it really pisses me off! How can you not like The Police? Synchronicity is a great album!

Hey, listen! You’re not going to have to marry her! Just take the stone! We need it to stop Ganondorf, remember!?

Ugh, fiiiine. I’ll take it.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-8.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-7.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-6.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-5.jpg

Now we’re finally able to move on to the truly fun part of the game!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-4.jpg

Don’t worry; I won’t.

Alixsar
02-18-2009, 01:02 PM
The Long Road Home

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-3.jpg

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-2.jpg

Before we go back to Zelda with the three Spiritual Stones, let’s grab this Heart Piece. With the Boomerang in hand, Blondie can now easily retrieve it.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-1.jpg

It also seems that we’ve managed to kill enough Gold Skulltulas to break another portion of the Skulltula’s curse. Reward time!

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV12s.jpg

I take back what I said earlier. THIS is the most useless item in the game. Having the Stone of Agony will cause the Rumble Pak to rumble whenever you’re near a secret area. But since we aren’t using a Rumble Pak, this item serves us no purpose whatsoever. Thanks for nothing, Skulltula family!

Next Time on A Brief History of Time:

The shit hits the fan, like, for reals.

McClain
02-19-2009, 08:19 PM
[b][size=5]
A Musical Trip Through Time (http://www.viddler.com/explore/Alixsar/videos/38/)

You know, I think the biggest shame in the world is that the SNES songs sound better than the N64 ones. Even at the time, when I was first being wowed by OoT's scope and story, I remember thinking that the music just wasn't as good.

If we ever do get a remake of OoT, I hope they put some serious time into revamping the soundtrack. I love the SONGS, but the actual sounds are just kind of flat.

rockintomordor
02-20-2009, 10:53 AM
You know, I think the biggest shame in the world is that the SNES songs sound better than the N64 ones. Even at the time, when I was first being wowed by OoT's scope and story, I remember thinking that the music just wasn't as good.

If we ever do get a remake of OoT, I hope they put some serious time into revamping the soundtrack. I love the SONGS, but the actual sounds are just kind of flat.

Yeah, I don't believe the N64 sound card was very good.

On a related note, I was disappointed that even Twilight Princess used sequenced music as opposed to a full-on orchestra. That's the only thing the Zelda series has been missing so far. I mean, who hasn't had a serious case of spine-shivers when watching gaming symphonies on Youtube play Zelda songs?

Bongo Bill
02-20-2009, 11:08 AM
Yeah, I don't believe the N64 sound card was very good.
Fun fact: the N64 had no dedicated sound card. It was all handled by the CPU.

McClain
02-20-2009, 11:34 AM
On a related note, I was disappointed that even Twilight Princess used sequenced music as opposed to a full-on orchestra. That's the only thing the Zelda series has been missing so far. I mean, who hasn't had a serious case of spine-shivers when watching gaming symphonies on Youtube play Zelda songs?

I don't mind the midi music. Zelda has always been good about using dynamic music for the action, and you just can't do that with an orchestra.

Also, I thought that there WAS orchestra music for some of the cut scenes?

Fun fact: the N64 had no dedicated sound card. It was all handled by the CPU.

After the excellent SNES sound card, this is a huge crime. I feel the same way about the crappy speaker in the Wiimotes (the secret chime in TP makes my ears bleed).

rockintomordor
02-20-2009, 11:41 AM
I don't mind the midi music. Zelda has always been good about using dynamic music for the action, and you just can't do that with an orchestra.

True, I never thought of it that way. The way the music molds nicely into the battle themes when you're in the main fields probably couldn't have been done as smoothly with an orchestra.

After the excellent SNES sound card, this is a huge crime. I feel the same way about the crappy speaker in the Wiimotes (the secret chime in TP makes my ears bleed).

Haha, yeah, you almost have to turn the Wiimote volume to the lowest output setting just so the sound doesn't come out too crunchily. Bad design, in my opinion.

Pajaro Pete
02-20-2009, 12:29 PM
At least the Stone of Agony is aptly named.

Sanagi
02-20-2009, 04:51 PM
Oh no, we're repeating conversations.

I was sucker enough to buy a rumble pak for this game, but I still showed them! I bought a knockoff version for five bucks less! It's not like I need a high standard of controller design for a little vibrating doohickey.

Pajaro Pete
02-20-2009, 07:49 PM
Vibrating doohickey has got to be the most unfortunate word choice.

Bongo Bill
02-20-2009, 09:28 PM
Oh no, we're repeating conversations.
Fun fact: the N64 didn't have a sound chip at all!

Kishi
02-20-2009, 10:58 PM
Shortly after leaving this dungeon, we’ll basically never be using the Boomerang ever again. This is a god damn shame

Nah, the boomerang pretty much sucks in this game.


The Boomerang can also be used to hit these…uh, whatever the hell they are.

All that ranting about vaginas, and now you won't make the obvious phallic analogy? Although, from the way they're segmented, they look more like huge lengths of excrement to me.


http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk165/Alixsar/LoZ/Part%2010/LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-4.jpg

I definitely like where this is going.


Before we go back to Zelda with the three Spiritual Stones, let’s grab this Heart Piece. With the Boomerang in hand, Blondie can now easily retrieve it.

You could also have just used a Cucco. But I'm compelled to collect every Heart Piece as soon as is humanly possible.

Issun
02-21-2009, 01:44 AM
All I have to say is, the upcoming dungeon has my favorite Zelda track ever (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8KUXX9T8Cm4).

rockintomordor
02-21-2009, 09:39 AM
All I have to say is, the upcoming dungeon has my favorite Zelda track ever (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8KUXX9T8Cm4).

...so terrifying. It's just downright creepy the way those little "wa-neh wa-neh" keep on coming back at random times.

Alastor
02-21-2009, 04:30 PM
I love the Forest Temple so much, that I can't hold the somewhat grating music against it. It does a fantastic job setting the mood, but that repeating voice can give me headaches if I stay there for too long.

Someday I will hire a team of architects to construct an exact duplicate of the Forest Temple, twisting hallways and all.

And then I will live in it.

Phantoon
02-21-2009, 05:14 PM
All I have to say is, the upcoming dungeon has my favorite Zelda track ever (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8KUXX9T8Cm4).

Such a creepy track. I love it too. The Song of Storms has been stuck in my head on and off for the last eleven years, though.

Issun
02-21-2009, 11:43 PM
I wouldn't call it creepy as much as strange, but in a cool way. To be honest, though, all five of the temples have great music.

Adrenaline
02-22-2009, 01:26 AM
I'd say that's fairly creepy. Not many video games sound as interesting as OoT's temples.