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View Full Version : Who says milking a sheep is hard? Let's Play Kyrandia Book 2: The Hand of Fate!


Sky Render
01-18-2009, 11:18 AM
LP Part Index
Part 1 (http://www.talking-time.net/showthread.php?p=379601)
Part 2 (http://www.talking-time.net/showthread.php?p=381855)
Part 3 (http://www.talking-time.net/showthread.php?p=383976)
Part 4 (http://www.talking-time.net/showthread.php?p=386737)
Part 5 (http://www.talking-time.net/showthread.php?p=392119)
Part 6 (http://www.talking-time.net/showthread.php?p=395882)
Part 7 (http://www.talking-time.net/showthread.php?p=397801)
Part 8 (http://www.talking-time.net/showthread.php?p=399065)
Part 9 (http://www.talking-time.net/showthread.php?p=401766)
Part 10 (http://www.talking-time.net/showthread.php?p=402241)
Part 11 (http://www.talking-time.net/showthread.php?p=404469)
Part 12 (http://www.talking-time.net/showthread.php?p=406787)
Part 13 (http://www.talking-time.net/showthread.php?p=407906)
Part 14 (http://www.talking-time.net/showthread.php?p=408745)
Part 15 (http://www.talking-time.net/showthread.php?p=414021)
Part 16 (http://www.talking-time.net/showthread.php?p=417302)
Part 17 (http://www.talking-time.net/showthread.php?p=423109)
Part 18 (http://www.talking-time.net/showthread.php?p=428959)
Part 19 (http://www.talking-time.net/showthread.php?p=430353)
Part 20 (http://www.talking-time.net/showthread.php?p=433701)
Part 21 (http://www.talking-time.net/showthread.php?p=433855)
LP Complete

This is the second LP in what will hopefully be a series of three. You can find the first game's completed LP right here (http://www.gamespite.net/talkingtime/showthread.php?t=6708).

Taking the lessons learned from my last LP (most important being to not mess with the queue), I've decided to tackle the sequel to Legend of Kyrandia, called The Hand of Fate (no relation to Manos: The Hands of Fate, thank Torgo). In a stark departure from the first Kyrandia game, this one is much more user-friendly. It still features about 10 ways to die, but it also warns you that what you're doing is stupid at least once before each death (so you can back out and not get killed). And it has puzzles that actually tend to make some sort of sense. Usually. Also, there are no "you are screwed" points, meaning they were taking their cues from LucasArts instead of Sierra this time.

As before, I'll be going the snarky route, because it worked so well before and because Kyrandia games just fit with it. The update schedule should once more be about 3 times a week. So, let's get started!

Introduction - A Disappearing Kyrandia

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/intro_01.png

An ominous giant hand? In a game called Hand of Fate? Shock, SHOCK I say!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/intro_02.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/intro_03.png

Once again, I have the CD version, so I can't show you the intro text. I'll just have to sum it up.

So basically, about 2 or 3 weeks after that nimrod Brandon took the throne, Kyrandia started to experience total existence failure. Yeah, I totally called that one way back when (http://www.gamespite.net/talkingtime/showpost.php?p=353690&postcount=99). Tip: don't put egotistical douchebags on the throne in fantasy worlds, it tends to piss off the god or god equivalents in your fantasy world. I'm just sayin'.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/intro_04.png

You know, maybe it's not such a bad thing after all that Kyrandia is disappearing. I mean hey, no more Serpent's Grotto!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/intro_05.png

Naturally, the Mystics are totally baffled. Also, is it just me, or does putting a fire-breathing dragon in a library full of highly flammable books sound like a bad idea?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/intro_06.png

I mean, I'm just sayin'...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/intro_07.png

Oh look, it's an ominous giant hand. In a game called Hand of Fate. I guess he moonlights as a title screen feature? But I'm sure he's totally not going to be a significant character in the plot or have any bearing whatsoever on what happens. Also, nice companion the hand has there in the foreground. Such fashion sense. I bet he's going to turn out to be totally straight.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/intro_08.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/intro_09.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/intro_10.png

He's a hand with a plan, though! A very strange plan, if you ask me. Basically, his idea is to get something called a MacGuffin... sorry, Anchor Stone, from the center of the world, which will save Kyrandia. Somehow. But hey, it's better than just letting Kyrandia vanish under Brandon's inept rule.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/intro_11.png

Remember Zanthia? Appeared for nearly 5 minutes in the first game? Yeah, she's our main character this time. And she's... actually pretty funny and likeable. And also isn't a coward, which is more than I can say for the first Kyrandia protagonist. I guess they learned their lesson with Brandon.

Sky Render
01-18-2009, 11:19 AM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/intro_12.png

I remember this place... Anyway, Zanthia's planning to open a portal to the center of the earth with some Blueberry-derived potion. Somehow I doubt it will be that easy.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/intro_13.png

OH NOES! Somebody has ransacked La Casa Zanthia! Great, looks like we've got our work cut out for us.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/intro_14.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/intro_15.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/intro_16.png

But first, gratuitous outfit change! Zanthia does that a lot, and it never serves any real purpose, but it's kind of neat anyway. Especially later when she doesn't just palette-swap. It shows that they put actual effort into distinguishable characters and environments in this one, unlike the first one.

So Kyrandia is screwed and we need to get an Anchor Stone to fix it. But no instant teleporting there, because let's face it, it'd be a pretty short game that way. When we begin next time, we will descend into the swamps and see if we can't find some direction. Seriously, Kyrandia games are horrible about letting you know where you need to go first. Until next time!

PapillonReel
01-18-2009, 11:36 AM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/intro_11.png

Remember Zanthia? Appeared for nearly 5 minutes in the first game? Yeah, she's our main character this time. And she's... actually pretty funny and likeable. And also isn't a coward, which is more than I can say for the first Kyrandia protagonist. I guess they learned their lesson with Brandon.

There's a Giant Hand, holding a pointer, pointing out Zanthia as the lead protagonist. A hand, holding a pointer.

A hand.

Have I mentioned that I've absolutely fallen in love with these games?

Wolf
01-18-2009, 11:47 AM
A hand, holding a pointer.

You know, I never noticed how fundamentally ridiculous that was until just now.

ringworm
01-18-2009, 11:50 AM
Basically, his idea is to get something called a Deus Ex Machina... sorry, Anchor Stone, from the center of the world, which will save Kyrandia.
Technically when it's established this early in the story it's a MacGuffin, not Deus Ex Machina.

Sky Render
01-18-2009, 11:51 AM
Technically when it's established this early in the story it's a MacGuffin, not Deus Ex Machina.

Ah, thank you for the correction. I never can keep straight which term to use when.

Sky Render
01-18-2009, 02:12 PM
Part 1 - Searching Swamps for Stuff

NOTE: This part is a doozy. But there's a lot that has to be covered, so bear with me. Also, we're jumping right in because the intro is so short, as usual.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_1.png

Thanks, Faun. Still an asshole, I see.

Well, the lab's gotta have a few good things hiding about. Let's see...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_2.png

Water, and more importantly, a flask. That's a good start. Okay, outside, then.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_3.png

Hey, it's those eyes again. LET'S GET OUR HUG.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_4.png

Oh hai. I can has hugs nao for reels plz?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_5.png

NOOO YOU BE EATIN MAH

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_6.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_7.png

Oh.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_8.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_9.png

Hehehe....

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_10.png

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why Zanthia is way cooler than Brandon. Well, one of the many, many reasons why, anyway. Onwards!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_11.png

Oh look, Kyrandia is still disappearing. Ho hum. Damn it, Brandon! Stop being inept! You're pissing off the deity/deities of Kyrandia!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_12.png

That has to be the most spurious use of the term "weed patch" ever. Venus fly traps have nothing on those monstrosities.

Now what were those rules of adventure games? Oh right! Adventure Game Rule #2: Pick up everything that's not nailed down or on fire, and if it is nailed down or on fire, try to find a hammer or water so you can pick it up! Let's look at that stump and see if there's anything not nailed down or on fire inside of it!

If you're wondering, Adventure Game Rule #1 is the same as pretty much every game ever: save early, save often!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_13.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_14.png

Score! I bet that's important. You know, since it has its own inventory spot separate from normal inventory and all. Too bad it's apparently been vandalized. Let's take a look inside.

Sky Render
01-18-2009, 02:13 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_15.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_16.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_17.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_18.png

Wow, it's like a textbook full of puzzles! Sounds like we don't have everything we need to make any of these potions, though. Yet.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_19.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_20.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_21.png

Zanthia gets sarcastic, with good cause really. Let's go north.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_22.png

More rule #2 to exercise! Let's nab an onion and a tree branch!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_23.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_24.png

Yes, the tree branch did grow back near-instantly. The Gnarlybark keeps moving in your inventory, too. It's actually kinda creepy. Well, let's go.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_25.png

Oh, the fairy, er, ferry! Hey, a fairy runs the ferry! That's almost (but not quite) entirely unlike funny. Let's talk with this fellow.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_26.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_27.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_28.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_29.png

No dice, huh? Where are we going to get that kind of money? Wait, alchemists turn lead into gold, right? So we just need some lead, and... whatever it is alchemists use to turn lead into gold. Okay, quest get! Onwards!

Sky Render
01-18-2009, 02:15 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_30.png

You are standing at a crossroads. Obvious exits are north, south, and Dennis.

And yeah, a rock just disappeared in front of Zanthia for no reason. I wonder if this is going to be a trend. Also, that bird's nest might make good soup material. Yoink!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_31.png

A feather? Yeah, I totally meant to get the feather, and not the nest. Yep. Ahahahaha... I'm going to the next screen now.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_32.png

No.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_33.png

NO.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_34.png

NOOOOOOOOOOOO! Fireberries! Arrrrgh, the horrible memories! (http://www.gamespite.net/talkingtime/showpost.php?p=341406&postcount=43)

Actually, they're only here as a reference to the first game. They serve no purpose, are labeled as "ever-glowing" (which they are), and you can make Zanthia eat one after cooling it off with water. Like this!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_35.png

Teehee. Okay, enough dinking around, let's go check out that house.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_36.png

It's a house full of frogs. And there's stuff to grab! Like...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_37.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_38.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_39.png

A stool! That used to belong to a toad. It's a... toad stool. Oh, that is bad... So was the pun those toads made... Let's see, what else is there to steal, er, borrow?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_40.png

And a bag of manure. Well, I'm sure that'll be useful. Maybe.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_41.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_42.png

He's not kidding either. Okay, we're stocked and stoked, so let's go back to the crossroads and head Dennis! I mean south!

Sky Render
01-18-2009, 02:17 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_43.png

Quicksand! Let's cross.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_44.png

Oh give it a shot, Zanthia. Nah, let's just walk across.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_45.png

I mean, everybody knows quicksand is harmless, right?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_46.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_47.png

See, told ya.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_48.png

Oh hello Mr. Hand, can I help you?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_49.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_50.png

OMG HAX! Load!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_51.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_52.png

There we go, obvious solution. Come on, Zanth, push that tree!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_53.png

Suuure. Face it, Zanthia, you just suck.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_54.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_55.png

Or not. Right, let's cross. But first...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_56.png

Not so tough now, are you, Mr. Hand? Gimme that! Right, across we go.

Sky Render
01-18-2009, 02:18 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_57.png

That's totally a threatening aligator. Yep. Zanthia would never dare touch it.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_58.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_59.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_60.png

Or she would. Brave of her. Bet she won't do it again.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_59.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_61.png

Well, uh... she shouldn't have done it again, anyway. Load!

Let's check out that tree hollow. You know something good's gotta be in there.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_62.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_63.png

There was! Now we have everything necessary to mix-a-mix-a lotta potions, yo! Looks like the path continues, so...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_64.png

A hot sulphur spring? And Zanthia has already made a beeline for what looks like a yellow rock. Gold, perhaps?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_65.png

Nope, it's sulphur. Well, that stinks. Let's go back and torture that alligator.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_66.png

Unfortunately, I have no weapons, so it'll have to be tickle torture.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_67.png

Oh, don't be such a baby.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_68.png

Reptile's tears. Can reptiles actually cry? I suspect not. Also, don't tell me what you are and aren't going to do, Zanthia. YOU WILL DRINK, NOW!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_69.png

Ha HA! That's what you get for telling ME what to do! ...Okay, time to get some more alligator tears, then move on. There was actually another path past the fairy, er, ferry.

Sky Render
01-18-2009, 02:19 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_70.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_71.png

It's two fishermen. Who can't catch anything. I wonder why?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_72.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_73.png

Yeah, I bet that's why. Moving on!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_74.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_75.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_76.png

Bizzarre affliction, indeed. Why DOES Kyrandia only seem to disappear when Zanthia's nearby? Could it be that the designers didn't want to confuse the player by having landmarks vanish when she's not there to see it? Probably.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_77.png

Oh great, it's Captain Fashion Sense. And no, he didn't just teleport in, he walked out of that cave.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_78.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_79.png

A rope trick? Seriously? I'm sure the kids at your next birthday party will be very impressed, but...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_80.png

Heh! Zanthia's about as impressed with him as I am.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_81.png

Yeah, that's totally why she thinks you're a laughingstock. Brilliant deduction, Pastel Wonder. (His name is Marko, if you're curious.)

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_82.png

That is not a question you want a woman to be asking you, incidentally. The answer is usually... awkward.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_83.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_84.png

Hiking in the swamp? Your partner has some issues, Marko. And no, the hand did not teleport in either, he "walked" in on his index and middle finger.

Sky Render
01-18-2009, 02:20 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_85.png

"...but that would mean standing close enough to have to look at you, and I don't think my retinas can take that much ugly."

Actually, she goes on about how her stuff's been stolen and how she has to walk to the center of the earth.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_86.png

Gahahahahahaha...! I mean, uh, I'm not sure how much help you would be...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_87.png

Independent woman, tellin' it like it is. Alright, into that cave!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_88.png

Oh, so it goes in deeper. Fair enough.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_89.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_90.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_91.png

Oh rats. How to get past this guy?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_92.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_93.png

Obviously not by reasoning with him. So, in case you didn't guess, we have a bit of a puzzler on our hands here. I'll be presenting the solution next time, but see if you can figure out what's supposed to be done yourself. All the clues can be found in this part. Until next time!

PapillonReel
01-18-2009, 02:35 PM
Oh my goodness, the puns! The magnificent, awful puns!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_32.png

No.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_33.png

NO.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_34.png

NOOOOOOOOOOOO! Fireberries! Arrrrgh, the horrible memories! (http://www.gamespite.net/talkingtime/showpost.php?p=341406&postcount=43)

I was lollin'.

Sky Render
01-18-2009, 02:46 PM
Oh my goodness, the puns! The magnificent, awful puns!



I was lollin'.

Yeah, this one is loaded with puns. So naturally, I just had to contribute a few of my own. And I planned out the whole "Fireberry freak-out" some time ago. It had to be done, it just had to.

Issun
01-18-2009, 09:45 PM
I love this game. It was, what, fourteen years ago I first played it? I lost the disks some time ago. Maybe I'll track down a CD copy.
Thank you so much for this LP, SkyRender.

Sky Render
01-19-2009, 12:30 AM
I should note now that my copy's a bit different than most peoples'. It's the European release. Meaning that some of the terms have odd spellings (like sulphur instead of sulfur), and others are different (like arse instead of butt, though that happens later). For the most part, I doubt many people will even notice.

Son of Sinistar
01-19-2009, 02:31 PM
Reptile's tears. Can reptiles actually cry? I suspect not. Also, don't tell me what you are and aren't going to do, Zanthia. YOU WILL DRINK, NOW!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_69.png




I bet they meant for this to be a crocodile, for then you would have crocodile tears (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crocodile_tears).

Octopus Prime
01-19-2009, 02:36 PM
I'm calling it now:

That hand? Best character in the game.

Sky Render
01-19-2009, 02:37 PM
Aha, so it was another subtle pun! Good eye.

And yes, the Hand does have the limelight now, but just wait. Zanthia's most faithful companion has yet to emerge...

Kirin
01-20-2009, 07:55 AM
Puzzle solving! I don't need to spoiler-text my guesses, do I?

Presumably we need to use the snake spell to scare the rat. We've got tears and an onion, we definitely need a "woof" and some egg smell. Also a toadstool, but maybe the small stool we've got counts?

Sky Render
01-20-2009, 09:09 AM
You're definitely on the right track there. Another key piece to solving this puzzle is recognizing one of the trends so far, which PapillonReel pointed out: the penchant for puns this game has.

Pajaro Pete
01-20-2009, 05:26 PM
Windy woof... Roof?

Sky Render
01-20-2009, 06:25 PM
"Windy woof" really trips people up. It tripped me up too, actually, when I first played the game. I basically solved this puzzle by trial and error item inclusion. After I found out what "windy woof" meant, I realized why it confused me so: I'd misunderstood what "windy" meant. Or rather, I'd misread it...

StriderDL
01-20-2009, 06:57 PM
We also got us some egg smell from the sulfer! Can we mix yet!?

Sky Render
01-20-2009, 07:03 PM
Even if the full solution isn't figured out before I post the next part (which should be early tomorrow), I'll be revealing the solution there. So far, it's been deduced what all of the ingredients are save the "windy woof". Remember, it has to be something that can be put in the cauldron, so it's an item you can pick up. Any guesses?

If anybody knows French or German, these shots might also help:

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_french.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_german.png

Pajaro Pete
01-20-2009, 07:08 PM
Oh, it's the gnarly bark. I get it! Gnarly = windy, bark = woof.

Sky Render
01-20-2009, 07:18 PM
Aced. I knew somebody would spot it.

Issun
01-20-2009, 07:47 PM
And yes, the Hand does have the limelight now, but just wait. Zanthia's most faithful companion has yet to emerge...

Ah, you mean...




stick

Shadax
01-20-2009, 08:01 PM
BENDY ROOT!
edit: poop

Loki
01-21-2009, 07:42 AM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_71.png

It's two fishermen. Who can't catch anything. I wonder why?

It's obviously one fisherman and one oresman. Worst LP ever.

Just kidding. I'm loving this so far.

Sky Render
01-21-2009, 09:50 AM
Ha! Semantic nonsense!

Sky Render
01-21-2009, 10:49 AM
Part 2 - A Cheesy Interlude

So, we're back. Last time, we had a very clear puzzle: a rat was blocking our path into a cave, and, short of some strange case of developer boredom, it's pretty obvious that we need to get said rat to go away. I let you all muddle this one through, and the puzzle was solved. Here's the key hint from last time:

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_91.png

Suggesting he's afraid of snakes. Now where did we see a reference to snakes? Oh right...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_18.png

So we need:
- a "windy woof"
- the "smell of eggs"
- an onion
- lizard's tears
- a toadstool
- hot water

Of course, we have the onion, and quite literally "lizard's tears" (or are those alligator's tears?). We also have the smell of (rotten) eggs with the sulphur, and a "toad stool" of sorts. So what the heck is a "windy woof", right? Maybe they mean windy as in wound up, twisted. And what's a synonym for woof? Oh right, bark. You know, what dogs do. So we need a twisty bark. Or perhaps Gnarlybark? Yes, figuring this out actually entails solving both a synonym puzzle and a pun puzzle. And of course, there was plenty of hot water at that sulphur hot springs. Heyhey, we have it all! Let's get mixin'!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_1.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_2.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_3.png

Victory! Shall we sample it?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_4.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_5.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_6.png

Ooh, Medusa would be jealous! I bet that rat will LOVE this...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_7.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_8.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_9.png

Yes! If you're curious, you can also "give" him the potion:

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_10.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_11.png

Either way, the rat's gone, so let's go inside.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_12.png

WHAT. So that means... The fireberries are...? Oh jeez, back to the bush of burning memories...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_13.png

I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!

Sky Render
01-21-2009, 10:51 AM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_14.png

There. Wow. That's a big skull.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_15.png

What the crap?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_16.png

The teeth light up when you touch them...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_17.png

Okay, this must be some sort of combination puzzle. But what's the combination? Dead end again...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_18.png

Oh hey, there's a path south here. Let's try that.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_19.png

Funny, multi-colored fireflies. I wonder what they do?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_20.png

They play music when you click on them, but it seems kinda random which ones light up. If only there were some way to get the whole song out of them... But how? Whatever, let's wander again.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_21.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_22.png

Hey, what the hell? Marko, you idiot... Great, comes to help me and ends up needing my help... Let's see, what to do...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_23.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_24.png

Of course, plant food does the trick. And no, Marko, you couldn't have.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_25.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_26.png

Totally said that, like, 2 days ago.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_27.png

Ooh, BURN. Anyway, enough with trying to get Marko to realize he's an idiot, back to aimlessly wandering.

Sky Render
01-21-2009, 10:52 AM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_28.png

Oh yeah, Zanthia left some blueberries lying about. I wonder if... But that'd be stupid, right? Then again, we ARE still in Kyrandia. Let's give those insects a berry.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_29.png

Not pictured: all of the insects lighting up in a seemingly random (but consistent) order. I'm sure it's totally not important or anything, though. Oh who am I kidding? That's obviously the solution to the skull combination lock. Don't ask me how this makes any sense, because it obviously does not.

Better go ahead and memorize it, then. Yeah, right. "Memorize" it. Mmhmm. Help me, Paper-Wan Kapencil, you're my only hope! So after re-watching that firefly sequence half a dozen times, I finally got it all recorded. Let's open that damned skull.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_30.png

There. Clearly we won't be needing the notes on what to press any more, either. No way they'll bring that puzzle back later! So we'll just dispose of that. No loose ends that way. Anyway, what's in the chest?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_31.png

Unsurprisingly, we have to unlock it first. Which is easy enough.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_32.png

Tellin' it like it is again, Zanth. So then, treasures please!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_33.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_34.png

Now THAT is more like it! Now all we need is some lead to turn into gold. What else is in there?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_35.png

Cheese? Who puts cheese in a treasure chest? And why does that make sense? Because of the rat? That's weak... Anyway, nothing else in there, so off we go!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_36.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_37.png

So much for turning an anchor to gold. So... Wait, what about those fishermen who had a boat? Maybe they'll lend me their anchor if I show them the Alchemist's Magnet.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_38.png

Well that was... informative? Actually, the Alchemist's Magnet is a sort of hint device: when you use it on characters, they tell you something they wouldn't normally say, usually some sort of clue on how to get them to do what you want them to do. It's quite handy. So, it's a long shot, but... maybe the cheese?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_39.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_40.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_41.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_42.png

Heyhey, it worked! But they left with their boat... But wait! There was a dock near Zanthia's place, right? Maybe they landed it there!

Sky Render
01-21-2009, 10:53 AM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_43.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_44.png

Victory again! And it's solid gold with just one touch! In your face, Paracelsus! Midas had it right all along!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_45.png

Wuh-oh. That's not good.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_46.png

"Accidentally" burned it down? How the hell...? You know what, forget it. How about we hit this guy up for a ride instead.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_47.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_48.png

Fetch quest? Very yes. Okay, time to go wandering aimlessly about the swamp.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_49.png

Here's one. Naturally, the evil swamp hand had it. Where else to look...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_50.png

Uhh, this one sounds ominous...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_51.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_52.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_53.png

Players of the Lands of Lore games will get a good chuckle out of that one. Alright, where else...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_54.png

Aww, it's up on the roof! I'll never get it way up there!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_55.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_56.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_57.png

Oh, right. Height is meaningless in Kyrandia games, as long as you can click the object. Also, Kyrandia 1 reference! Woo! One last spot, then...

Sky Render
01-21-2009, 10:54 AM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_58.png

And that's it! Back to the dragonfly.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_59.png

Now that's an interesting idea. Screw just one, let's try it on all of the letters before we go back to the dragonfly!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_60.png

Gwahahaha! Looks like Brandon didn't heal Herman completely after all! Next letter (next letter, woo!).

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_61.png

Hah! Told ya there's deity-like figures watching over Kyrandia. I bet Brandon's mailbox is stuffed to the gills with notices like this one but addressed to him by now. Hmm, I wonder if we'll ever learn more about these "Wheels of Fate"...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_62.png

Valid point there. Pretty boring letter overall, though.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_63.png

Hehe... Yep, more Lands of Lore references... Alright, enough of that, let's go give the dragonfly his letters. Thank goodness this isn't Return to Zork, or the Inquisitor would be on our ass and stealing our possessions for that bit of mail intrustion faster than you can say "we seem to be working at cross purposes"!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_64.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_65.png

Well he's happy, at least. Off we go to Morningmist, wherever the heck that is.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_66.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_67.png

Obviously not a lady's man. Er, lady's dragonfly. Whatever.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_68.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_69.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_70.png

Whoops. I'm sure that rampant yet highly accidental destruction of a fishing boat will have no bearing on anything at all later, though.

Sky Render
01-21-2009, 10:55 AM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_71.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_72.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_73.png

Another quest already? I didn't even get exp for the last one. Alright, but the reward had better be a good one this time.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_74.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_75.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_76.png

That prick! He just flung Zanthia off into a haystack! Also, topless Zanthia. Hot.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_77.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_78.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_79.png

Gratuitous outfit change #2! And yes, our inventory is all gone.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_80.png

Except for that letter Zanthia's supposed to deliver. Swell.

Well, that about wraps it up for the swamps. Next time, we get moving on visiting the countryside and seeing what we can see! Come on back then, it'll be epic! Or at least mildly amusing. Maybe we'll even get some direction for a change! I'm not betting on it, but you never know! 'Til next time, folks, 'til next time...

Octopus Prime
01-21-2009, 03:18 PM
A guy disrupts the fabric of nature and all he gets is a tersely worded letter from a god?

Man, no wonder Kyrandia is so screwed up.

Dart Zaidyer
01-21-2009, 03:24 PM
You're skipping a lot of color commentary from Zanthia. If you click on her, she'll have at least two things to say per screen. Sometimes you even get hints ("These guys are idiots! They should be using cheese for bait.") and snarky remarks ("I bet the farmer would help Brynn. Everybody loves a helpless nincompoop") that are too good to pass up.
Sometimes the commentary even changes based on the situation. On one screen, if you've been wandering around for a while, you can get her to talk about how much of a dork Marko has been ever since he found The Hand.

Also: The fruit flies are really a Simon Says puzzle. You can give them a blueberry for an instant solution, but actually playing the puzzle helps you figure out that it's probably very important.

Sky Render
01-21-2009, 03:39 PM
I know full well that Zanthia has a lot of commentary that's not made it into the LP thus far. That's what the extra part at the end of the LP's for. If I stuck in all of her witty lines now, we'd be up to part 6 before we even got as far as we have without them. Unlike the first Kyrandia game LP, the extra content at the end of this LP is going to be massive as a result... I didn't want the LP to drag on, you see. Even though those lines are witty and hilarious, they'd drag the overall pace down significantly to include them all as they come up.

Doing it this way, the LP moves at a steady clip (though still slower than the first game's LP; Zanthia has so much more worthwhile dialogue than Brandon even in the mandatory stuff), and we all get a good laugh at the end when we go through the whole game AGAIN in witty commentary form. Think of it as two LPs for the price of one.

Issun
01-23-2009, 12:37 AM
Morningmist Valley? Mmmmm, sandwiches.

Sky Render
01-23-2009, 10:02 PM
Part 3 - Out in the Country

Last time: Zanthia found an Alchemist's Magnet, made some gold, had the ferry burn down on her before she could use the gold (thus rendering the quest for the Alchemist's Magnet completely pointless), helped a dragonfly get his letters back, then got flung headlong into a haystack. And no, there were no psychadelic substances involved.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_1.png

Poor Zanth, stranded with nothing but a letter. Wonder if any of her possessions landed with her in that haystack.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_2.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_3.png

A flask! Can never get enough of those...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_4.png

Sure, why not take some random farmer's crops? I'm sure he totally doesn't need them to survive or anything. Well, let's skedaddle.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_5.png

Victory! It's a city!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_6.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_7.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_8.png

You're kidding me, right?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_9.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_10.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_11.png

Huh, I guess the comedy duo up on the wall aren't letting us in. Okay, back the way we came, and the other way...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_12.png

Quaint. I decided to chat it up with this guy, since he looks... well, more helpful than those idiot guards, at least.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_13.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_14.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_15.png

Well, that was informative. Guess we need a sandwich. Also, seeing as he's the only person around, I'm going to do my best Mach Pizza deliveryman impersonation and just assume that this guy is Farmer Greenberry and give him that letter. Yep, he's totally Farmer Greenberry! Here you go, Farmer Greenberry! *wink* *wink* Yep, totally delivering this letter to Farmer Greenberry.

Sky Render
01-23-2009, 10:03 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_16.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_17.png

Yeah, he totally is. Not surprising.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_18.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_19.png

Like he'd give something that valuable away for a letter.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_20.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_21.png

...Idiot. Also, I'm pretty sure that's not how you make mustard. Generally mustard also contains, you know, actual mustard seed. Whatever, we have a quest now: make a sandwich! Let's see what's off to the west.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_22.png

Meanwhile where? Could it be...?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_23.png

It is! Marko and his Hand! What did the hand do?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_24.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_25.png

Ouch, a Plot Point Mallet just hammered my skull.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_26.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_27.png

Yeah. He's totally gonna do that, Marko. Mm-hmm.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_28.png

A water wheel. Not a very effective one, though.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_29.png

A... stick? How did a stick get in the water wheel? Better pull it out.

Sky Render
01-23-2009, 10:04 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_30.png

A fishing boat piece. That sounds familiar...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_70.png

Oh crap, whoops. Still, we'll never see that stick again for sure. Now then, what has liberating the water wheel done?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_31.png

A grinder. Nifty. Anything else?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_32.png

Yep, it does look dangerous, Zanthia. LET'S GO TOUCH IT!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_33.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_34.png

That was totally a smart thing to do. Totally. Le LOAD!

Well, there's not much else to do here, so what's east of La Casa Greenberry?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_35.png

Fields! With no crops. Greenberry must not water much. Also, there's the Alchemist's Magnet! Score!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_36.png

What? You lazy bum, Greenberry! No wonder his crops won't grow. Alright, I guess that valve near the water wheel needs to be turned.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_37.png

How about now, then?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_38.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_39.png

"Fertile"? More like "possessed"! Plants do not and cannot grow that fast! Still, convenient. Lots of veggies here, maybe even enough to make a salad!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_40.png

Hm. Radish. And there was a bottle of something back at Farmer Greenberry's, probably of vinegar. And there's a grinder at the water wheel. So let's make "mustard"!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_41.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_42.png

Oops. How to get it out indeed. Um... I guess I could steal that food bowl from that dragon and hope he doesn't, you know, bite Zanthia's arm off...

Sky Render
01-23-2009, 10:06 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_43.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_44.png

Yeah, not quite the reaction I expected. Still, bowl get! Let's go scoop that radish out and make some mustard!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_45.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_46.png

That totally shouldn't have worked. But it did, so who cares? This would be a good time to check that sandwich recipe, huh?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_15.png

We-hell! That's easy enough. We have almost everything already. Just toss in some lettuce and mustard, and grind that wheat...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_47.png

Okay, so where to find cheese? This could be a problem... Maybe the farmer's basement has some cheese in it.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_48.png

Well excuse me, princess. I guess I could ask the city guards, maybe? I mean, it IS in their best interests...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_49.png

That's new?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_50.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_51.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_52.png

No! I never would have guessed! What seems to be your boggle, ghost-boy?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_53.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_54.png

Well, that's easy enough.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_55.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_56.png

Faster than you can say "SHAZAM!", we've got a bottled ghost! Where are we going to find a body for this guy? Well, if he's not picky, I guess that scarecrow would work.

Sky Render
01-23-2009, 10:07 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_57.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_58.png

I guess he's not picky. He also ran off without giving Zanthia anything. Jerk. Whatever, back to square one...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_59.png

Oh dear, I sense a fight brewing. Let's watch!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_60.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_61.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_62.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_63.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_64.png

Whee! And my, how convenient! Without Greenberry in the way, I can explore his cellar!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_65.png

Quite right. Down we go!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_66.png

Hmm, what a mess.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_67.png

Cheeeeeese maker!? Now we just need some milk. And I bet you know where we're getting THAT from...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_68.png

Not me! Now, to make cheese!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_69.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_70.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_71.png

Success! Let's make a sandwich or two.

Sky Render
01-23-2009, 10:08 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_72.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_73.png

Two sandwiches to go! What else can be nabbed down here?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_74.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_75.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_76.png

Lots of goodies! Well, enough dilly-dally, let's go take care of those idiot guards.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_77.png

But first, Zanthia tries her hand at wool-clipping. "Oops" is right!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_78.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_79.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_80.png

Suckers!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_81.png

You said it, Zanthia! And next time, we hitch a ride to... VOLCANIA! Why? I don't know, and neither do you, but Zanthia figures it's important, so let's do it. See you then!

PapillonReel
01-23-2009, 10:18 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_33.png

♥♥♥

The more I see of these games, the more I like 'em.

Sky Render
01-23-2009, 10:31 PM
♥♥♥

The more I see of these games, the more I like 'em.

Indeed, they're great fun in so many ways. That image is well-suited to a motivational poster, in fact:

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_motivational.png

lotusreaver
01-23-2009, 11:06 PM
I had no idea you could just feed the bugs a blueberry and get the entire sequence of colors. I always did the simon-says method like a sucker.

Pajaro Pete
01-24-2009, 12:09 AM
This is the best game.

Sky Render
01-24-2009, 09:20 AM
I had no idea you could just feed the bugs a blueberry and get the entire sequence of colors. I always did the simon-says method like a sucker.

Amusingly, the first time I played the game, I never knew you could do the Simon Says game. The first thing I always did in adventure games, when a direct interaction didn't have any obvious impact, was to try all my items on things. Which is how I found out about the Blueberry solution in the first place. I didn't even know there WAS a Simon Says game with those fireflies until about 4 or 5 years ago.

lotusreaver
01-24-2009, 09:54 AM
Same with the medusa head. I always just used the snake potion on the rat and didn't even know that I could use it on Zanthia. I just went with what I was used to on subsequent playthroughs.

This guide is great. So many alternate solutions.

Sky Render
01-24-2009, 09:05 PM
I knew going into this that Hand of Fate would take longer than the original Kyrandia LP did, but ouch. The next part feels so short in terms of getting anything done, yet it has a massive number of screens. Just too much noteworthy dialogue to ignore...

Sky Render
01-27-2009, 04:51 PM
Bet you thought I'd forgotten, huh? Nope. Brace yourselves, it's about to get epic in...

Part 4 - It's Pirate Poetry Night!

A brief recap: Zanthia, charged with finding a mysterious MacGuffin/Anchor Stone to save Kyrandia, has been through a lot. Her first ride wouldn't let her on, then it burnt down, then her second ride made her do a bunch of collecting before letting her on, then her second ride dumped her in a haystack. From there, she had to find a way to distract the world's most inept gate guards, which involved nothing short of theft, spirit possession, breaking and entering, and malicious activities with sheep. But she's finally into the city! Let's see where we left off...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_1.png

Hm, there's something jamming the fountain?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_2.png

That piece of fishing boat again! It's going to haunt Zanthia, isn't it? Figures. The ghost doesn't haunt her, but the perfectly material stick does.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_3.png

Cute, she's even named it. At least she didn't nickname it Wilson, right? Anyway, what's in that house?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_4.png

Looks like there's a map of the area! And I guess it's... um, on fire? What is UP with that map?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_5.png

Huh, the shopkeep's not responding, but I doubt he's undead. Seems kinda fishy, just the same.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_6.png

So, what, he's been petrified? I doubt that. Whatever, out of here, then.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_7.png

The local pub! Surely somebody here can help.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_8.png

It's locked? How do I get in, then?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_9.png

Oh please not this again.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_10.png

It is. Crap, where'd I put that note?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_11.png

Okay, so I lied a bit. THIS is the game's sole "screw you over" moment. If you didn't either keep a save where you can listen to the fireflies or write down the pattern, you can be stuck guessing here for a very long time. Since it's the only one of its kind in this game, I feel quite justified in bitching about it.

WHAT WERE THEY THINKING!? We can't read your damned minds, developers! Don't make a puzzle like this one whose solution is inaccessible when the puzzle comes up! I mean HELLO! Basic game design tactics, anyone? Jeez!

Okay, I'm done. Let's move on. And yes, there were eyes in the cauldron when I took that shot. The cauldron does funny stuff like that sometimes at random.

Sky Render
01-27-2009, 04:52 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_12.png

Pirates! And that scarecrow? How'd he get here?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_13.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_14.png

Wow, Farmer Geenberry sucks, huh? Hey, how the hell did the scarecrow beat Zanthia into town? Must be a back entrance or something. Hmm...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_15.png

Good question. Shall we find out?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_16.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_17.png

Come again, Zanth?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_18.png

Ooh, let's get some beer, too, then.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_19.png

Or root beer. Whatever. Chug it, Zanth!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_20.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_21.png

How unladylike!

Now, what was that saying? "Everything in moderation"? Or was it "There's no such thing as too much of a good thing?" I BET IT'S THE LATTER!

Sky Render
01-27-2009, 04:53 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_22.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_23.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_24.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_25.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_26.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_27.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_28.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_29.png

Ooh, nasty. Seriously, that has got to be the most DISGUSTING death ever. She literally killed herself by eating and drinking too much. A different character can comment each time you do this death, too. I'd show all of them, but that'd take a while.

Anyway, I'm sure the root beer and taffy will prove more useful as potion ingredients than a means of killing Zanthia. Let's chat it up with these pirates.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_30.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_31.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_32.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_33.png

Captain Semantics here sure is pissy. Let's try that again.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_34.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_35.png

Great, so they're going to be no help. Let's get out of here and find this "mustard barge".

Sky Render
01-27-2009, 04:54 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_36.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_37.png

Pirate Poetry Night? We totally need to make that a standard feature of Talk Like a Pirate Day! Who's up first?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_38.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_39.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_40.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_41.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_42.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_43.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_44.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_45.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_46.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_47.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_48.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_49.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_50.png

Okay, that was kinda funny. Now, blow 'em away with a real heart-render, Zanthia!

Sky Render
01-27-2009, 04:55 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_51.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_52.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_53.png

YOU WILL LISTEN NOW!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_54.png

That's better. Let's begin...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_55.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_56.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_57.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_58.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_59.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_60.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_61.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_62.png

Standing ovation! Best poem of the night! Ugh, let's get out of here...

Sky Render
01-27-2009, 04:56 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_63.png

Whoa! Where'd that guy come from? He looks a bit fishy.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_64.png

Try my luck, huh? How so?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_65.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_66.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_67.png

Uhhh... I think it's just a BIT hard to beat this game when the guy moving the shells has 8 arms at his disposal. Also, Zanthia's broke. So we'll come back to him later and explore the rest of town!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_68.png

Weird building. Hey, what's that stuff on the ground?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_69.png

Potion ingredients? Zanthia's potion ingredients, at that! The thief (whoever it may have been, hmm) has been here!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_70.png

Score! Maybe this page has the spell the thief used on it.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_71.png

Aha! So that's why the shopkeep was all petrified! I knew it made sense to be skeptical. Anything else on this page?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_72.png

It's the Teddy Bear Potion! Woo! Best spell ever!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_73.png

Oh great, he's all weird, too. Now what? Keep going, I guess... Gotta find a way to get rid of those trances, though I can't imagine how...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_74.png

Hey what the hell? Is that... THE HAND!? Dun dun DUN!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_75.png

That's a big rabbit statue. And a weird one, too.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_76.png

Maybe Zanthia can fling this at some politicians later.

Sky Render
01-27-2009, 04:58 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_77.png

Whoa, that's different! How to get across this?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_78.png

Yeah, bit of a jump, huh?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_79.png

Got that right. WHICH IS WHY YOU WILL DO IT!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_80.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_81.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_82.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_83.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_84.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_85.png

Not her best performance. Indiana Jones you are not, Zanthia... And LOAD!

Let's try our new companion, then.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_86.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_87.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_88.png

Mr. Stick is already proving useful! Let's keep going, then.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_89.png

French humor. Cute.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_90.png

Of course you're not sure, Zanthia! This is an Altar of Doubt!

Well, this is a real puzzler, isn't it? Zanthia has a lot of stuff at her disposal, but nobody seems to want to help her. Mostly because they're either the sissiest pirates ever, or under that weird spell. Maybe a potion would help, but what potion to make? And where are the ingredients? Let's see how many of you can solve this one by next time!

PapillonReel
01-28-2009, 10:43 AM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_84.png

Cue the trombones. (http://www.sadtrombone.com/)

Sky Render
01-28-2009, 11:22 AM
Cue the trombones. (http://www.sadtrombone.com/)

You have to love Zanthia's expression in that image, too. It's sort of a mix of "oh crap", "why did you make me do that?", and "help?".

Issun
01-29-2009, 11:00 PM
http://i235.photobucket.com/albums/ee89/issunbug/zanth.jpg

Hmmm, usually girls take a few Jagerbombs to get to this point. Zanthia's such a lightweight.

In all the times I played through this game, I never found a use for the orange peel. I'll be interested to see what it's actually used for.

Sky Render
01-29-2009, 11:29 PM
I think that rootbeer is laced with something. I mean, she puked green.

And I don't think you CAN do anything with the orange peel in this game. Or the wrapper. They're just... well, garbage. I'm sure Malcolm could find a creative use for at least one of them, but Zanthia's an alchemist, not a jester.

Sky Render
01-31-2009, 12:04 PM
In case you're wondering, no, I didn't forget this LP. I got Star Ocean 2 for PSP, which was about the worst possible thing anybody could do to my productivity. The end result has been a bit like giving a caffeine addict a lifetime supply of Jolt cola. But I'll take a break to update this some time soon, hopefully later today.

Incidentally, Opera in SO2 reminds me so much of Zanthia that I renamed her to that. Yeah, i do strange things like that sometimes. And her new name beats Claude's (Loser), Rena's (Useless), and Precis' (Perky) new names...

Sky Render
02-02-2009, 08:37 PM
Star Ocean 2 is very, VERY bad for productivity. Yes, I did in fact play SO2 practically non-stop for the entire weekend. I wasn't kidding earlier, imagine that. But anyway, let's get back into it with...

Part 5 - Of Skeptics and Mustard Isle

Last time, I left off with another potion puzzle, which nobody tried to solve... Ah well. It's not a difficult one at all, at least. The potion needed is the Skeptic's Solution.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_1_16.png

We already have a lucky horseshoe, and of course that pet dragon back at Greenberry's is an easy source of lizard tears. There was a rabbit statue back there, so we can make a rabbit footprint with something impressionable (like, say, mud). But what about the sweet and sour sauce?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_1.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_2.png

Yes, that's right. You have to mix vinegar and either rootbeer or taffy. I certainly wouldn't put THAT on my Chinese food, but if the potion doesn't care...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_3.png

Guess, Zanthia.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_4.png

Oh, right, time to check up on the irritating little egocentrist. Great idea.


http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_5.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_6.png

Yep, he's still a trash-talking little asshole. Call over!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_7.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_8.png

Of course, Zanthia doesn't have the good sense to hang up and write Faun off as a loss. So, what's vanished in Kyrandia lately? Nothing out this way, that's for sure.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_9.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_10.png

I'm sure Dharm just forgot he exists; it's about how I'd expect him to go out. And Brynn's temple was dinky, so who will miss it? Honestly, I think Kyrandia's not really any worse off without them.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_11.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_12.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_13.png

Sarcasm, yum. So... she knows he's a useless asshole, but she doesn't care? Fair enough, I suppose. Anyway, back to mixing that potion.

Sky Render
02-02-2009, 08:39 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_14.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_15.png

Well, that's that. Yeah, actually making the potions is kinda underwhelming. Now we have to activate the potion at an Altar of Doubt.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_16.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_17.png

One nifty animation later, the Skeptic's Potion is complete! Better make two, I bet the clerk at that shop will want to be revived too. Plus, two is my upper limit thanks to how hard it is to find any flasks around this part of Kyrandia.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_18.png

There we go! The sheriff's looking much better now. Lend me a hand, sheriff!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_19.png

Gee, thanks. You just keep on... um... humping the building? What the hell IS he doing on the wall, anyway? Whatever, into the fishbone prison. (Who the hell builds these things?)

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_20.png

Well well well, look who it is. I always knew you were on the wrong side of the law, Marko!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_21.png

If this guy were any more vain, he'd be varicose.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_22.png

He fought the law, and the law won. Duh.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_23.png

Or that. Gotta hand it to this guy, even his epic failures are somehow pathetic.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_24.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_25.png

Great, I have to save your butt AGAIN? Damn it, Marko! Well, I have no magnet, so you can stew in prison for a while, Hand Man.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_26.png

Yes, Zanthia, I know. You want to save Marko, damned if I can imagine why. But seriously, LATER. I'd rather talk to that shop clerk than save Marko, at this point. At least he doesn't say anything at all. Actually, I should probably give him the other Skeptic's Potion, huh?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_27.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_28.png

...On second thought, maybe I would rather go talk to Marko. This guy is even MORE annoying when you can hear him, mostly because he's voiced by Joseph Kucan, the same guy who did Brandon's voice. Meaning he sounds like Brandon. Only more nasal. I didn't think that was possible, to be honest... Anyway!

Sky Render
02-02-2009, 08:40 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_29.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_30.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_31.png

Boy, everybody around here sure is pissy about terminology. And what are you complaining about, Zanthia? That'll take, like, 3 random encounters at most, and that's if you only run into Slimes. Fine, maybe a little clouting of your position will do the trick.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_32.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_33.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_34.png

Of course not! Why would anybody respect the most powerful society of wizards in the land, after all? *sigh* Maybe reasoning with him will work?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_35.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_36.png

Bureaucratic dickwad... Fine, I'll pay the damned fee. Just have to divert the boat somehow mid-course to Volcania. Anyway, I need money, and my only real source is that octopus. But I'd need a lot of luck to... wait...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_37.png

A lucky horseshoe might do the trick! ...Now I just need something to bet. Hmm...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_38.png

Zanthia, why are you making a magnet? Oh right, Marko. Nearly forgot about him. Damn. I need a drink, so I think I'll head back to the tavern...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_39.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_40.png

Seriously? You're getting into a fist fight over poetry? Yep, they're still the sissiest pirates ever... (Incidentally, the first pirate's VA says "arse" instead of "butt"; flows much better that way)

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_41.png

How uncouth! I oughta smack ya!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_42.png

Damn, beat me to the punch. Why so serious, baldy? Hey, he dropped a gold tooth! Score!

Sky Render
02-02-2009, 08:42 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_43.png

Of course that didn't work. Video game characters are paranoid about their gold teeth, it's a well-known fact. But I doubt he'd care about a...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_44.png

LEAD TOOTH! Hah, take that, inattentive pirate!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_45.png

And right back to gold it goes. Sucker... Speaking of suckers, let's place a few bets with that octopus. Oh, but first...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_46.png

Zanthia used the Lucky Horseshoe! Zanthia's LCK went up by 255!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_47.png

Yep, sure do. (Teehee...)

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_48.png

Pshaw! Zanthia doesn't need skill, she has luck!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_49.png

CLOISTER, I CHOOSE YOU!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_50.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_51.png

Ha ha! Let's do it again! Also, it's rather frightening that this guy has gold teeth lying around to pay me off with.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_52.png

YOU'RE WINNER!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_53.png

Why thank you, Mr. Octopus. Well, they're not exactly 3 gold COINS, but they should do.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_54.png

Ah, right. Bureaucratic dickwad. Forgot. Okay, how to make them coins?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_55.png

That was so implausible that it almost makes sense. Almost. Now will you give me the voucher, Brandoppleganger?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_56.png

Thank goodness. Now, off to the Mustard Barge!

Sky Render
02-02-2009, 08:43 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_57.png

But first, a phone call. Jeez, it's been all of 10 minutes since the last call, Zanthia. Your cell phone battery's never gonna make it through your quest at this rate.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_58.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_59.png

Nifty, now your ears are almost a quarter as big as your ego, Faun!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_60.png

BUSTED!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_61.png

It's been 10 minutes, Zanthia. How much could possibly have vanished in that span of time?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_62.png

Apparently quite a bit. Wow, Brandon must've passed that "Mandatory Group Hug" law. This is worse than I thought!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_63.png

Hey shut up! I can't help it that Star Ocean 2's so fun! Oh wait, he's talking to Zanthia, huh?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_64.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_65.png

Zanthia used SARCASM! It's super effective!

Anyway, there's pretty much only one area left to visit, so off we go to the Mustard Barge at last!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_66.png

Zanthia, what the hell are you doing? Put that key back, you don't know where it's been.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_67.png

...Okay, FINE! We'll save Marko if it matters that much to you.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_68.png

See? Even the sheriff agrees with me! Let's see you get out of this one!

Sky Render
02-02-2009, 08:44 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_69.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_70.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_71.png

Nice going, Zanth. Now you'll be that much colder at night since you've just unwound your blanket.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_72.png

Don't encourage her, Marko.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_73.png

Well you should've thought of that before you decided to help Captain Incompetence over there, now shouldn't you?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_74.png

O RLY?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_75.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_76.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_77.png

Yeah, didn't think so. Tough luck, enjoy prison!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_78.png

Good luck with that. I'll be over here, trying to forget that you're doing all of this for Marko's sake...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_79.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_80.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_81.png

Done yet? Good. Let's go already.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_82.png

Don't mention it. Ever.

Sky Render
02-02-2009, 08:45 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_83.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_84.png

And yet, you still helped him. You confuse me, Zanthia. Can we leave yet?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_85.png

You do that, Marko. Hint: check inside your pants, that's where it usually is.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_86.png

I can hardly wait. So, to the Mustard Barge! For REAL this time, please?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_87.png

Thank you. Wait, this guy's in a trance too? Great, off to the Altar of Doubt AGAIN...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_88.png

Hmph. I wonder what those potions taste like?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_89.png

Given that reaction, I'd guess Fanta. Ick. Okay, un-trancing time.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_90.png

Just shut up and take me away from here.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_91.png

YES.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_92.png

Wait what?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_93.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_94.png

Oh. That's... unorthodox.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_5_95.png

Well it's not exactly the Love Boat, but it'll do.

Well, finally on our way to Volcania, we are! But unfortunately, the ship's not supposed to be going there, and we need to redirect its course! But we can figure that out for next time, because this part is already way too huge. See you soon! (I hope... Star Ocean 2, why must you consume my free time so?)

Sky Render
02-03-2009, 10:12 PM
I've never tried either, though I was sorely tempted to. But an LP should be thorough, so I reluctantly saved him. I'll have to tempt continuity/fate and try leaving him imprisoned for the re-LP when this version of the LP is done.

Sky Render
02-03-2009, 10:29 PM
I really doubt Hand of Fate, of all games, would pull a Sierra on the player. I mean seriously, the game REALLY wants to be a LucasArts game. It's too bad I couldn't get more than just key frames in the prison break sequence, because the animations during it only reinforce that statement.

Sky Render
02-06-2009, 08:04 PM
Part 6 - Volcania! Isle of Annoyance!

Last time, after much ado about nothing (or Marko, same difference), Zanthia hopped onto the Mustard Barge, in an attempt to get to Volcania. Let's see how that's going...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_1.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_2.png

Not well, from the looks of it. Hey, try quoting the intro, Zanthia! That always works!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_3.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_4.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_5.png

Except when it doesn't, of course.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_6.png

What, already? Man, that was fast.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_7.png

So here we are on "Mustard Isle". Seems safe enough. What's a "canny bull"?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_8.png

Hello natives, please put me down. No, not into the pot.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_9.png

Oh crap oh crap oh crap

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_10.png

Well that's gotta suck. Load! Maybe they'll take a food offering.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_11.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_12.png

Guess so! Let's get out of here!

Okay, so that sucked. The ship went nowhere near Volcania. Stupid auto-navigation system... Time to mess it up good! Compass, meet magnet!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_13.png

Ha HA! Take that, technology!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_14.png

GEE I WONDER WHY.

Sky Render
02-06-2009, 08:05 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_15.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_16.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_17.png

Dun dun DUN!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_18.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_19.png

Let's see. Crazy lady who begs you to take her to Volcania, who is on your ship right now, and who put something suspicious in the rope coil... Hmm... IT WAS YOU, WASN'T IT, SAILOR! ADMIT IT!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_20.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_21.png

Yeah, I bet you saw that one coming.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_22.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_23.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_24.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_25.png

This game is such a damned tease sometimes...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_26.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_27.png

Well, we're on Volcania at last! And yet again, Zanthia has retained none of her inventory. That knapsack does suck ass. Let's have a look around.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_28.png

You sure are. THIS IS CLEARLY A SAFE SPOT TO STAND.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_29.png

No, no it's not. Unsurprisingly. And now, we LOAD! Time to explore a bit.

Sky Render
02-06-2009, 08:07 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_30.png

It couldn't be... Mr. Stick!? Why, how did YOU get here? You cheeky little chunk of fishing boat, you!

Well, I guess a volcanic island is as good a spot as any to find one's way down to the center of the earth, so let's see if there's maybe an entrance around here somewhere.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_31.png

Somebody set up shop here! That's... really weird. He looks marginally trustworthy, so let's see if he can help.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_32.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_33.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_34.png

Oh jeez... Sleazebag alert! If he starts hitting on Zanthia, I quit.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_35.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_36.png

Yeah, she obviously doesn't care. Quit the flirting now, Don Juan, and just finish your spiel.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_37.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_38.png

WHAT.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_39.png

You and me both, Zanth... Jeez, fetch quest time... I think a saw a starfish back where Zanthia landed on this hellhole, let's try that.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_40.png

Who in the hell is this? Well, Zanthia has the advantage of being hidden in the mists, so maybe she can pull the old "you can't see me now tell me all you know" gig on her.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_41.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_42.png

Goddamn it, Zanthia...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_43.png

Miltonia? What kind of a name for a kingdom is THAT? And I thought "Kyrandia" was a stupid name...

Sky Render
02-06-2009, 08:08 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_44.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_45.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_46.png

For some reason, that makes me very glad that there's no sequel to this game called Legend of Miltonia...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_47.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_48.png

Ooh, Zanthia has some competition in the snark department! Wonder if there'll be a catfight later?

So, two starfish later, I bought that damned brochure. Let's see what it says.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_49.png

You son of a bitch... Back to wandering for starfish I go...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_50.png

Another shop? Volcania is surprisingly well populated for such a dangerous place. Maybe they'll help Zanthia for free. Worth a shot.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_51.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_52.png

Free stuff? SCORE! So... how about some help?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_53.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_54.png

More fetch quests? Screw you too, granny. I'll stick with the creep for now, since I've already gathered a few starfish.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_55.png

How the hell am I going to reach THAT one? It's in a lava-filled cove that's too far out to ever reach!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_56.png

So apparently Zanthia is telekinetic. I mean, I could kind of believe before when she grabbed a letter from the roof, but this... This is just ridiculous.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_57.png

Jeez, another shop? How many merchants ARE there on this island? Seriously, Volcania is more populated than that city we spent the last two updates in!

Sky Render
02-06-2009, 08:10 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_58.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_59.png

This guy too? Well screw you, man. I've chosen my merchant, and like any good consumer, I'm going to keep with it even though I know I'll regret it later!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_60.png

Thanks. Now where's the entrance?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_61.png

Oh jeez here it comes...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_62.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_63.png

EIGHT GODDAMNED SEASHELLS!? You BASTARD! And yet, I'm still going to pay it... Damn you, consumer guilt, damn you to hell!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_64.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_65.png

It's Jessica again. You know, I bet that's some kind of a really blatant hint, but I'm just going to ignore it because you just know Zanthia would never take advice from somebody as snarky as herself.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_66.png

Jessica really gets around the island. Also, why is she asking? Oh please don't tell me she's interested in him. Eww...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_67.png

Did she just imply... that Zanthia might...? I think I have to hate you now, Jessica. Sorry, it's just policy.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_68.png

ZANTHIA, NO!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_69.png

Whew. You narrowly avoided losing the respect of all living things there. Don't scare me like that again.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_70.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_71.png

Uh... Jessica, the other Royal Mystics are Darm, Kallak, and Brynn. So you're basically implying that Zanthia either a.) is into (MUCH) older men, or b.) is a lesbian. Do you WANT her to kill you or something?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_72.png

For the sake of my sanity, I'm going to assume she means Faun. Because the alternative is just too disappointing to comprehend.

Sky Render
02-06-2009, 08:11 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_73.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_74.png

Thank the nine hells for that.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_75.png

That clinches it. I hate Jessica.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_76.png

Yes please. Thank goodness she didn't mention the Hand... Anyway, back to the seashell fetch quest...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_77.png

Here's your Goddamn shells, now where the hell is that entrance?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_78.png

Not again!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_79.png

NOT ANOTHER PAYMENT! I WILL KILL YOU! Seriously, does this guy work for Microsoft or something? Fine then...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_80.png

No way Zanthia's walking the rest of the way, though. Screw that. Time to put that leather folio, feather, and some hot air to good use and make some winged shoes!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_81.png

Much better. Alright, sand dollar huntin' time!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_82.png

You're not welcome.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_83.png

Don't remind me. I've got buyer's remorse already, and you haven't even given me anything yet!

Sky Render
02-06-2009, 08:12 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_84.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_85.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_86.png

...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_87.png

... ... ...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_88.png

DIE!!!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_89.png

Yeah, you'd BETTER hide... Let's blow this joint...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_90.png

She's not exactly Marilyn Monroe, but...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_91.png

OH NOES FALLING!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_92.png

You can't kill me. I will not die.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_93.png

Not to mention your body. I mean seriously, ouch? Well, Zanthia has finally (FINALLY!) found her way to the center of the earth. It's... a lot more livable and less super-dense-magma-like than I expected it to be. Huh. Well, next time she'll have to brave the horrors of the subterranean world to find the Anchor Stone! Finally, her quest is almost over! Come back next time to see what awaits!

Octopus Prime
02-07-2009, 05:02 AM
Already nearly finished?

Geez, Kyranida games are SHORT.

Sky Render
02-07-2009, 09:49 AM
Hm. Well, you'll see...

Aquadeo
02-07-2009, 10:32 AM
This guy is even MORE annoying when you can hear him, mostly because he's voiced by Joseph Kucan, the same guy who did Brandon's voice. Meaning he sounds like Brandon. Only more nasal.

Hm, that means he also sounds quite a bit like Kane (from that other Westwood series, Command and Conquer). Ah, the early days of CD-ROM multimedia, when anybody with an existing office had the potential to become a star.

Sky Render
02-07-2009, 10:56 AM
Hm, that means he also sounds quite a bit like Kane (from that other Westwood series, Command and Conquer). Ah, the early days of CD-ROM multimedia, when anybody with an existing office had the potential to become a star.

So very true... Also, Kucan sounds different as Kane than he does as Brandon. He takes on a deliberately nasal and whiny sort of voice when he does Brandon's voice.

PapillonReel
02-07-2009, 09:08 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_88.png

DIE!!!

Considering all of the crap Zanthia's had to put up with in the game so far, the catharsis from this must feel fantastic. Give 'em the ol' one-two for me, will you? And then the three-four-five as well!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_72.png

For the sake of my sanity, I'm going to assume she means Faun. Because the alternative is just too disappointing to comprehend.

Oh come now, you don't think that Zanthia and Marko don't make a good couple? I- uh, wait there Sky Render, I was just joking. Really! Now put down the knife, no one needs to get hurt here. I, um... uh-oh.

Sky Render
02-07-2009, 11:12 PM
Oh come now, you don't think that Zanthia and Marko don't make a good couple? I- uh, wait there Sky Render, I was just joking. Really! Now put down the knife, no one needs to get hurt here. I, um... uh-oh.

Heh. I mostly dislike Marko for all the crap he puts Zanthia through, acting like he's actually being helpful when all he does is get himself in pickles for Zanthia to save him from. He reminds me greatly of a good deal of deadbeats out there I've met, who are a perpetual drag on their significant others yet seem to think that they're actually contributing something of worth.

And even with all that, my dislike of Marko is intentionally boosted to unrealistic levels in this LP for the sake of snark and comedy. It's not nearly as funny if I pretend to like the guy, or if I'm just vaguely indifferent.

Sky Render
02-09-2009, 10:04 PM
Part 7 - Not Anchored in Reality

So last time, Zanthia managed to find her way down to the underground, only to discover that the center of the earth is not only just a few hundred feet below the surface, but is also perfectly survivable! What do you know, all of those 1800s science fiction/fantasy writers were right all along! So, what to do first? How about grab that scrap that tore off of Zanthia's previous dress?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_1.png

What!? Oh come ON! So Zanthia can telekinetically pick up starfish and seashells off of rocks in the middle of molten lava lakes, but she can't apply her mystical item-nabbing powers to a piece of fabric? I call puzzle-induced bullshit! Fine, across the inexplicable emerald bridge, then.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_2.png

You can say that agai... IS THAT A TYRANNOSAURUS REX!? This place just got a whole lot more awesome. And a whole lot more ridiculous. Score!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_3.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_4.png

Screw that, Zanthia! Ride that bull, er, T-rex!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_5.png

Woo, ride on, cowgirl!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_6.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_7.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_8.png

Eugh. Clearly the wrong move. Load!

Say, over there, in the corner... Is that... No, it couldn't be...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_9.png

MR. STICK! He IS stalking Zanthia, I knew it! Or, you know, he might've just fallen out of her knapsack and landed there. Maybe. Moving on!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_10.png

Yes, and?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_11.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_12.png

Because you just said something about it a few seconds ago before getting squishified by a dinosaur? Just a hunch.

That dino over there looks friendly enough. I wonder if he'll get rid of Mr. Stick for us.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_13.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_14.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_15.png

Uh... Did Zanthia just play fetch with a dinosaur? I'd better do that again just to confirm...

Sky Render
02-09-2009, 10:05 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_16.png

You sneaky lady, Zanthia! I see that stick behind your back! You totally faked that dinosaur out this time!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_17.png

Looks like Dino Dog there knocked something loose when he rammed into the wall. That's one strong-looking jet of steam... I just wonder...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_18.png

Yes, it worked! I got Zanthia to do an upskirt shot!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_19.png

Er, I mean... Yes! Now Zanthia has one of the ingredients for the Teddy Bear spell! Ahahaha... I'm going to explore some more now.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_20.png

Indeed it must! That was nice of them, clearly marking it. Well, let's go, then!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_21.png

HRRRGH! (I don't think that's going to work, Zanthia...)

Well now I'm stuck. How's Zanthia going to find any fuzz for the teddy bear spell? I mean, it's not like it grows on trees.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_22.png

...It DOES grow on trees. And yet again, her selective telekinetic powers can be seen hard at work, too. Now what else do I need? The Heart of Gold? Where am I going to find Zaphod Beeblebrox's ship at down HERE?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_23.png

Oh right, the even more literal kind of "heart of gold". Well then, let's mix it all together and see what we get!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_24.png

Awwww... Now, I think you know what Zanthia's gonna do next..

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_25.png

Zanthia has acquired EPIC MOUNT TREX!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_26.png

Doot doo doo doo doo doo doo DOO doo doo...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_27.png

...doo doo-doo-de-doo-doo-doo...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_28.png

...doo doo-doo-de-doo-doo-DOO...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_29.png

...DOO doo de doo doo doo doo DOO DOO doo...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_30.png

Okay, that's enough Chocobo... er, T-Rexaur... damn it, T-rex riding. So, Mr. Rex, do you like your new toy?

Sky Render
02-09-2009, 10:07 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_31.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_32.png

Aww, he tore it to shreds! Just like my Jack Russel Terrier would. I think I'll name him Max.

Well, now Zanthia has that cloth, so perhaps she can tempt that stegosaurus to help her out.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_33.png

Um, Zanth? Don't stand there.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_34.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_35.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_36.png

Oh crap, ow. Load! Maybe that wasn't the best position to tempt the bull, er, stegosaurus with the cloth.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_37.png

Um, are you trying to tell the stegosaurus to smash the door manually, Zanthia? 'Cause I don't think that's gonna work.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_38.png

Yes, kick the rock-hard dinosaur's shin! That'll learn 'im.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_39.png

Or it'll learn you not to kick rock-hard shins.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_40.png

Torro, torro!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_41.png

OLE!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_42.png

You sure did! ...Hey, is that...?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_43.png

It's Jessica! How the hell did she get here without being seen at all before this?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_44.png

Them's fightin' words, Zanthia!

Sky Render
02-09-2009, 10:08 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_45.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_46.png

YES, CATFIGHT TIME! I knew this'd get good!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_47.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_48.png

Goddamn it, Marko! Can't you wait, like, 15 minutes?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_49.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_50.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_51.png

Two very valid questions. Well, Marko?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_52.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_53.png

REVELATION! The game ISN'T over! I guess Brandon finally opened one of those myriad letters addressed to him from the Wheels of Fate. Well, this should be a piece of cake, since Marko's portal is

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_54.png

Oh COME ON! Stupid Hand, always messing up my plans...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_55.png

Yeah, that's great. Have I mentioned I hate you, Jessica?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_56.png

Hey, get BACK here! What about the catfight!?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_57.png

You said it. I bet there would've been Jell-o and everything...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_58.png

He's hyper enough without caffeine, Zanth. Oh wait, wrong buzz.

(...Yay sailboat in the cauldron!)

Sky Render
02-09-2009, 10:09 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_59.png

One to beam up, Ensign Faun.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_60.png

And what the hell are you doing to Zanthia's nice rug?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_61.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_62.png

Actually, it was probably more like the Hand carried Marko off, given what just happened...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_63.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_64.png

Goddamn it, Faun...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_65.png

I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO KNOW.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_66.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_67.png

Riiight. Or they're just running backwards because Brandon's in charge of the place. Either way, we're all screwed 'til it gets fixed, right?

Sky Render
02-09-2009, 10:10 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_68.png

Swell. Look, Zanthia, I don't think you're going to make much progress. "Up in the clouds" is a long long ways from "the center of the earth". Just sayin'.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_69.png

That WOULD be kind of hard, seeing as air is remarkably difficult to walk on.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_70.png

Goddamn it, Faun! That rug cost 5 gold coins, and you just caught it on fire!

Well anyway, not much else to do here, except nab that spell book page and see what's on it.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_71.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_72.png

Hey, a reference to one of the useless items from the first game, the Rainbow Stone! I wonder if I'll ever actually need that spell...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_73.png

Yes indeed, but how?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_74.png

Well that was interesting. Jamming a rock into that lava vent caused the platform in the middle to percolate some...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_75.png

My thoughts exactly! Let's get jammin'!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_76.png

Let's see, stick one here...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_77.png

Plug this one...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_78.png

Definitely making progress, but that's not quite enough, methinks...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_79.png

That should do the trick! Let's go and see.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_80.png

There we go! Looking exceptionally dangerous now! Let's go lava surfing, Zanthia!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_81.png

Da-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_82.png

WIPEOUT!

Sky Render
02-09-2009, 10:11 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_83.png

Wow, that's quite an eruption. I hope those merchants had time to get off of Volcania!

...AHAHAHAHAHA! Yeah right, let 'em burn. Greedy gits.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_84.png

I believe I can fly...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_85.png

I believe I can touch the sky...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_86.png

Dream about it every ni...

Oh. Uh, nevermind...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_87.png

Nothing can kill Zanthia. Nothing.

You know, except for all that stuff that actually can kill her. But those don't count.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_88.png

How about Jessica? I mean, you hate her already. Or maybe it's just me...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_89.png

You know what that means...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_90.png

GRATUITOUS OUTFIT CHANGE! You know, at the rate she's going through outfits, she'll end up saving Kyrandia in her pajamas...

Well, it looks like things AREN'T over after all! Zanthia has a new quest, now: to get up to the Wheels of Fate and save Kyrandia! How? Who knows? But at least she got to the skies without having to walk there! Come back next time as Zanthia explores the Enchanted Forest!

Sky Render
02-10-2009, 08:20 PM
Some day, I'll learn what days not to update an obscure LP on. Honestly...

lotusreaver
02-11-2009, 12:16 AM
I don't think I ever tried this, but it looks like you get nothing from helping Marco at all, so is it possible to just leave him in his cell and move on? Or does the game have some sort of trigger that doesn't let something important happen until you free him?

Actually, there's no need to rescue Marko at all. If you don't, the story progresses as if he was never in jail. Plus, if you don't free the jailer from his trance, there's no need to make a return trip to the Altar of Doubt to make a third potion, saving you time.

The only purpose for the Marko jail sequence is to get you a magnet on your first playthrough. Marko tells you to create a magnet in order to get the key. You need the magnet later to get to Volcania. On subsequent playthroughs, you already know you can make the magnet without Marko telling you so you can skip this sequence altogether.

PapillonReel
02-11-2009, 06:11 AM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_2.png

You can say that agai... IS THAT A TYRANNOSAURUS REX!? This place just got a whole lot more awesome. And a whole lot more ridiculous. Score!

Oh my God. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Journey_to_the_Center_of_the_Earth)

Some day, I'll learn what days not to update an obscure LP on. Honestly...

Everyone just updates whenever they feel like really, so sometimes the planets align and these things just happen. Besides, waking up to find that no less than seven (!) LPs updated was one of the best things to happen to me this week, so I thought it was great that it went down like this. Also:

I am hanging onto this thread no matter how many "popular" games are being LPed. This is where it's at.

Keep going, bud. This is one of my favourite LPs going so far.

Octopus Prime
02-11-2009, 08:13 AM
Some day, I'll learn what days not to update an obscure LP on. Honestly...

Like Mr. Pappy said, there is neither rhyme nor reason to it.

Also, I love this one, never stop!

After you beat the game, just play it again! For me!

Sky Render
02-11-2009, 09:19 AM
Like Mr. Pappy said, there is neither rhyme nor reason to it.

Also, I love this one, never stop!

After you beat the game, just play it again! For me!

Heh. Funnily enough, something like that is planned, actually... This game simply has too much awesome to get in one go.

alexb
02-11-2009, 11:21 AM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_76.png

I like how even the rock on the left hand side looks like a dinosaur.

Sky Render
02-11-2009, 01:37 PM
Part 8 - The Enchanted Non-Argyle Forest

So it turns out that the Anchor Stone, MacGuffin of MacGuffins, was not the answer to Kyrandia's dilemmas! Now Zanthia has to get up to the Wheels of Fate, to undo the damage caused by having a douchebag on the throne of Kyrandia has caused! Let's begin...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_1.png

Those things are everywhere, aren't they? Also, I love how Zanthia's hair made an indent in the soil too. Comic book physics: it's possible because it looks cool!

Anyway, more stuff to grab around here...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_2.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_3.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_4.png

Those trees look petrified. Also, if I have to plant this damned thing with a walnut and acorn in a giant hole again, I'm going to be ticked. So anyway, I guess the trees can talk. Maybe they can help?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_5.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_6.png

I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_7.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_8.png

I sleep all night and I work all day...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_9.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_10.png

I cut down trees, I wear high heels, suspenders and a bra...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_11.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_12.png

These trees are more paranoid than the Church of Scientology. Time to move on. (Highmoon is apparently the name of the town Zanthia was in a few parts ago.)

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_13.png

It's not going the right way, but who cares? It's a road! Let's go.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_14.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_15.png

The guard escorted Zanthia back across. That was... um, nice of him. But seriously, why?

Sky Render
02-11-2009, 01:38 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_16.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_17.png

Ahh, he's a bureaucratic dickwad. I should've figured we'd run into another one of those.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_18.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_19.png

If you'd been to hell and back, you'd be pretty bitter too.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_20.png

Yes indeed, but who? Those trees are no help, after all. Maybe make one? Like a snowman, even? Well, there's a spell for that, fortunately. Better get some moss off of that rock back there.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_21.png

What the...? Did the rock just VANISH?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_22.png

No! It just rolled off. See, it's a rolling stone. GET IT? Even though the saying is "a rolling stone gathers no moss", meaning it's the worst rolling stone since Brian Jones.

Anyway, now we need some charcoal and snow. Plenty of the latter here.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_23.png

Okay, FINE. How about higher up, then?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_24.png

What are you, Goldilocks? Just grab some snow!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_25.png

The right snow to get, of course, is near the guard. The guard who drags you back across the bridge the moment you get within 5 yards of him. I guess Zanthia's telekinesis is hard at work again...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_26.png

Please do.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_27.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_28.png

Yes, meaning Zanthia's clothes would dry out eventually, while your armor would rust. Brilliant conclusion, dingus. Alright, back to the snowman plan. Where to get charcoal?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_29.png

Hm. Flint + rock + tinder = ...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_30.png

FIRE! FIRE! Heh-heh-heh...

Sky Render
02-11-2009, 01:40 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_31.png

Yes! Let's go make a snowman! Oh, but first...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_32.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_33.png

Teehee! Alright, off to get rid of the bridge guard.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_34.png

You shall not pass!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_35.png

Tonight the role of Mr. Fantastic will be played by the suit of animate armor, and the role of the snowman will be played by Dustin Hoffman.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_36.png

Owned!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_37.png

I think he looks better like that.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_38.png

Oh snap, I made it mad!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_39.png

I hear they have an opening on the set of Harry Potter, try there! Anyway, now Zanthia can move on at last. But first, let's check that little tower...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_40.png

...

MOVING ON.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_41.png

A giant FOOT? This is starting to get out of hand...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_42.png

That's too bad. Would you like to try a toejam steak instead?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_43.png

...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_44.png

Indeed. Looks like it's made of lead, too. Who the hell builds a LEAD statue? Heeeey... I bet Zanthia can get some goodies for shining the statue, like it says on the latest page of her spellbook!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_45.png

IT'S A SECRET TO EVERYBODY.

So, what's inside?

Sky Render
02-11-2009, 01:42 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_46.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_47.png

...HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

(Frank Klepacki was the composer for this game, and most Westood games.)

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_48.png

You were expecting maybe the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles action figures?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_49.png

What!? That's it? Lame... Fine, let's jack up that foot good.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_50.png

Success! (What the HELL is coming out of the cauldron!? Jeez, Zanthia, don't you ever CLEAN that thing!?)

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_51.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_52.png

And easy to slip up, too! So... what the heck IS that?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_53.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_54.png

So that's Darth Vader's right foot? Damn, I know the guy was huge, I had no idea he was THAT big.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_55.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_56.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_57.png

So basically, Darth Vader pissed off the Titans, and they had Batman build them a mega-bomb and had Superman deliver it to Alderaan? Or did I miss something here?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_58.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_59.png

And miraculously, they still function even though they were drifting in the depths of space, which average a somewhat chilly 3 degrees Kelvin (or about -270 degrees Celsius, -454 degrees Farenheight). That's pretty impressive.

Sky Render
02-11-2009, 01:43 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_60.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_61.png

I hope it landed on Jessica...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_62.png

Except his mouth. It keeps swearing at the people of the Lands of Lore. Really sucks.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_63.png

...Uh oh.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_64.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_65.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_66.png

Well, that explains a lot. Like, for example, that Bal-Rom is an IDIOT! The depths of space have pretty much no matter to speak of, at least not in any significant quantity. Sure, it's cold, but you can still reassemble there. It's not like making a total vacuum out of an innocent world is going to leave you with anything warmer. In fact, it'll probably be even COLDER.

Oh, right, and now we know who's really screwed Kyrandia over. But I'm telling you, if the Hand hadn't done it, Brandon's taking the throne would have! It's probably just a coincidence, in fact, that the Hand got there when he did. Kyrandia was probably slated for erasure anyway, so the mechanics didn't try to stop him. Yeah, let's go with that.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_67.png

Well, obviously that's where we need to go next, at least. Maybe the trees will change their tune now that we know how imperative this is?

Sky Render
02-11-2009, 01:44 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_68.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_69.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_70.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_71.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_72.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_73.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_74.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_75.png

No kidding. That was about as productive as talking to a tree. Oh wait.

How about some music to get them moving?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_76.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_77.png

Well, that was easy.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_78.png

Woo! Squirrel-powered ski lift! Time to ride!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_79.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_80.png

What? Oh COME ON! Why can't ANYTHING go right for a change?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_81.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_82.png

I already had to deal with ONE bureaucratic dickwad, I don't need another one! Fine, I'll run the tram myself with the rolling stone.

Sky Render
02-11-2009, 01:46 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_83.png

ARRRGH! Fine, I have to get rid of the rodent. Hm, I wonder...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_84.png

Like any good bureaucratic dickwad, he's easily influenced. And giving him the nuts means I don't have to plant them, so score!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_85.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_86.png

Good riddance. Let's get things a-rollin'!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_87.png

Not the most graceful entrance. I give it 6 out of 10.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_88.png

Sounds like a fight's going down on the tram. Let's see who it is.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_89.png

It's Marko! And look, he grew a pair! Fight that hand, Fashion Disaster!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_90.png

You know, this shot reminds me: why is the Hand just a glove? It has no wrist or anything!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_91.png

Goddamn it, Marko, can't you ever not fail for a change?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_92.png

Aaaand that's the last we'll ever see of him. Unless he's as invulnerable as Zanthia, of course.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_93.png

Crap, he stopped the tram. Zanthia's just gonna have to do her best Bond impression and shimmy up the rest of the cable, then.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_94.png

Metal Gear Zanthia: Tactical Alchemy Action!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_95.png

Yes, it's time again for...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_96.png

MAGICAL OUTFIT SWAP! What is that, 5 different outfits now?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_97.png

Of course, Zanthia's knapsack was FAIL again. You'd think she'd use her wardrobe spell to get a new one...

Well, the enchanted forest was brief, but a blast. Zanthia's a bit closer to the Wheels of Fate now, and knows what's really going on, but how will she climb further? Tune in next time to find out!

Sky Render
02-14-2009, 05:58 PM
Part 9 - Hot Sweet Yeti Lovin'!

Last time, Zanthia muddled her way through the paradoxically not-forested enchanted forest, and found her way up to... some snowy area. After losing all of her possessions YET AGAIN, she's now standing outside a snow lodge with some strange woman and her child for company. Seems obvious enough, so let's talk to the lady.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_1.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_2.png

Well excuuuuuuuse me, princess. Let's try that again, shall we?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_3.png

Um, Zanthia? Have you looked at yourself in a mirror recently?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_4.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_5.png

Clearly this woman is a Communications major. Also, how the hell does Zanthia know about this Rainbow Bridge? Nobody has said anything about it! And before she acted like she knew nothing about the Wheels of Fate, too! What is this, plot-convenient knowledge acquisition?

Anyway, maybe the baby will be more helpful.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_6.png

Obviously not with Frau Unfreindlich watching over him. So... into the lodge, I guess.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_7.png

Aha, progress! And there's even a coil of rope over there, in front of the... Tomahawk cruise missile model? What kind of hunters are these guys, anyway?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_8.png

Wait, random kleptomania in an adventure game DIDN'T work!? What is this, the Gaming Apocalypse? Fine, we'll talk it out.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_9.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_10.png

Wuh-oh. Are these guys...?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_11.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_12.png

They ARE! Sexist pigs! I wonder how long Zanthia will put up with them before ripping them a new one.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_13.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_14.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_15.png

Well, this is going well...

Sky Render
02-14-2009, 05:59 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_16.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_17.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_18.png

So basically, never. Let's try reasoning with the other guy.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_19.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_20.png

Of course that didn't work! Come to think of it, reasoning with people NEVER works in this game, huh? Well, if they want an abominable snowman, Zanthia can GIVE them an abominable snowman... with her potion for that, of course. But where to find the ingredients? Hm...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_21.png

Yes, that's where you get musk from. And it has an infinite supply of it, too. That was one horny bull.

That kid had sugar, but Madame Terse won't let Zanthia near him. That cannonball Zanthia nabbed is lead, though, so maybe...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_22.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_23.png

Yes! Greed wins out over parental affection yet again! Seriously, that kid sits there crying forever after this event, and his mother NEVER attends to him.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_24.png

One mixing session later, the potion is ready! Let's give those hunters a scare!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_25.png

I WILL EAT YOU RAWR

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_26.png

lolwhut

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_27.png

YOU WILL FEAR NOW!

(Um, Zanthia? Behind you...)

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_28.png

I WIN THE INTERNETS LOL

(Seriously, behind you!)

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_29.png

OMGWTFHAX!

(This cannot end well...)

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_30.png

The horror, the horror! The Yeti mugged the camera!

Sky Render
02-14-2009, 06:01 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_31.png

OMGRAPERAPERAPERAPERAPE

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_32.png

Back off, Blizzard Boy!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_33.png

And Zanthia does a striptease!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_34.png

Umm... come again?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_35.png

And the Understatement of the Game Award goes to... ZANTHIA! So, even though it never helped before this with anybody else, let's try to reason with the Yeti.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_36.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_37.png

"Try" being the operative word, of course.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_38.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_39.png

Come again?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_40.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_41.png

...You know what? If you don't stop talking like that right now, I'm going to jam this Alchemist's Magnet right up your bum!

Whatever, let's check around the cave.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_42.png

But it's already Saturday! Hey, is that a mirror?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_43.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_44.png

Yeah, no kidding. See why that lady didn't want to talk to you before? Anyway, that Yeti is annoying me with that vacuous grin, so I'm gonna make Zanthia shove that Alchemist's Magnet where the sun don't shine, just to get him to stop that.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_45.png

Ah, right, Alchemist's Magnet is a hint device. So, what does he mean...?

Ohhhh, I get it! So THAT'S why he talks in gibberish. Basically, it's a cipher that looks like this:

English
ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ
AEIOUBCDFGHJKLMNPQRSTVWXYZ
Yeti

So let's translate his earlier dialogue, from first to latest...

Your'e Cot a snowwoman!
(Who taught this guy to spell? I think he meant to say "You're not a snow-woman!" Guy can't even speak his own made-up language right.)

Rainbow?
(No, walnut!)

Please, help me find a mate!
(As long as it's not Zanthia...)

Darlings!
(Why plural?)

Well, that's a bit helpful. But I don't think Zanthia wants to stick around here; I sure don't. Outside we go!

Sky Render
02-14-2009, 06:02 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_46.png

Aha! A solution presents itself! Climb away!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_47.png

Oh give it a try anyway... (You know, if this were a Sierra game, she would try on the first attempt, and fall to her death, thus leading to a load/restart/quit dialogue box. Sierra loved arbitrary no-chance-to-back-out deaths.)

I bet those icicles would work as pitons.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_48.png

Aww yeah! So long, Yeti!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_49.png

No, No, You could fall and put an eye out!

Did the Yeti just make a reference to A Christmas Story? I'm speechless, really.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_50.png

Oh goddamn it! So now what?

Well, Zanthia has all the ingredients for another Abominable Snowman potion now, but that's really NOT going to help her. Still, may as well make one. And since the cave is useless, let's sneak back outside...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_51.png

Hooray! Give us a running commentary, Zanth!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_52.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_53.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_54.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_55.png

Thanks, Zanthia, you were great. Now, go hype them up to take on the Yeti!

Sky Render
02-14-2009, 06:03 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_56.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_57.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_58.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_59.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_60.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_61.png

Oh jeez, they're cowards. Well, here's a fun solution for this dilemma, then...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_62.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_63.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_64.png

Comedy deploying in: 3... 2... 1...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_65.png

WE HAVE LAUGHTER!

You know Zanthia totally wants to be a voyeur for THIS bit of irony.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_66.png

You clmib with icicles!

I guess our Yeti friend really can't spell. But thanks for the hint!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_67.png

Yay no Yeti interference this time!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_68.png

Oh yeah, him. I mean, it's actually been a while this time and all.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_69.png

Well, seeing as your roof has vanished, I'd say not well...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_70.png

And it wasn't before?

Sky Render
02-14-2009, 06:05 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_71.png

They took the front wall of Zanthia's house! Those bastards!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_72.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_73.png

Yes, hurry! Your back wall might vanish next! Horror of horrors!

Seriously, why is it taking so long for Kyrandia to vanish?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_74.png

Isn't that where they used to host that show, Reading Rainbow? Also, plot-convenient knowledge acquisition returns! I'm just going to drop these icicles, because I can, and then it's into the Rainbow Room!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_75.png

Of course! Funky decor, though. I like it. What's on the sign?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_76.png

(Except for the Alchemist's Magnet, of course.)

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_77.png

(I think the huge gaping holes in the floor more or less assure this rule will be followed.)

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_78.png

(But they're sooo disorganized!)

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_79.png

O RLY? We'll see about THAT!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_80.png

One potion to make a magic whistle later, let's give it a blow!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_81.png

I'm breaking your rules! I'm breaking your rules! What NOW, bitches!?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_82.png

How disappointing. So, what all is on the shelves, you ask? Well, pretty much every item in the game, and quite a few that you can't find anywhere else. But most important of all is...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_83.png

MR. STICK! Wow, he just will not leave Zanthia alone... After tossing him in the garbage bin, I got on with the very obvious task here. You need to mix 7 potions, 1 of each color of the rainbow (red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet). This basically means you have to make every single potion over again. Fortunately, you can find all the ingredients necessary in that massive grid.

But, you say (or maybe you don't), there was no indigo-colored potion! You're quite correct (and incredibly observant; you get a gold star!). The indigo potion is hinted at when Zanthia picks up an Amethyst, and consists of an Amethyst and a Blueberry. I'm guessing it's the portal potion she wanted before, but damned if I can tell, since she won't use it. Anyway...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_84.png

Cue the victory theme! What happens next?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_85.png

A rainbow appears! Predictably!

Sky Render
02-14-2009, 06:07 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_86.png

Indeed, Zanthia, indeed. Also, the rainbow has burned a hole through the roof! Which brings up a very important question: how was there no hole in the roof before if this is how the machine works!? Seriously. There's no way that thing could have been working properly before and NOT ripped a hole in the roof. What, did the Hand very politely fix the gaping hole before going on its merry way? Yeah, you may notice there's a few minor plot holes like that as the game draws to a close. Just try to ignore them, while I snark on them endlessly.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_87.png

Anyway, Zanthia climbs, using only one of her three icicles. Why? Because the game didn't expect you to actually drop the other two before going into the Rainbow Room, of course.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_88.png

Watch your step! Will Zanthia make it?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_89.png

Of course! The game would be rather anticlimactic otherwise.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_90.png

Dun dun DUN! Will the epic showdown happen already!?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_91.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_92.png

Oh, it is ON! *Battle Start!*
Bal-Rom's Left Hand
HP: 175,000 / 175,000
MP: 9,999 / 9,999
Attacks: Squeeze, Bitch Slap, Squash, Flick
Suggested Strategy: Do a barrel roll!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_93.png

Zanthia performs Unholy Smack Attack!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_94.png

*miss*

Bal-Rom's Left Hand counters with Flick! Zanthia slips!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_95.png

Bal-Rom's Left Hand ran away! Earned 0 exp. and 0 golds!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_96.png

Whew, thank goodness for that icicle. Also, is it just me, or is that shot vaguely erotic?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_97.png

Oh get over it, you have two more.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_98.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_99.png

Daaaamn! Zanthia's pissed now! Also, why didn't she change into that outfit sooner? She looks hot in uniform.

Well, this is it, folks. The big one. The moment we've all been waiting for. Zanthia is finally going to reach The Wheels of Fate! And you know it's gonna get epic. Next time, it's all-out war! Don't miss it!

PapillonReel
02-14-2009, 06:44 PM
Ack, looks like I missed an update or two. Catch-up powers activate!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_66.png

Well, that explains a lot. Like, for example, that Bal-Rom is an IDIOT! The depths of space have pretty much no matter to speak of, at least not in any significant quantity. Sure, it's cold, but you can still reassemble there. It's not like making a total vacuum out of an innocent world is going to leave you with anything warmer. In fact, it'll probably be even COLDER.

Actually, space isn't cold - at least, not because of the void. See, the human body loses most of the heat it produces via conduction (the transfer of heat from one object to another via contact) and convection (the transfer of heat from one object to the surrounding atmosphere), and both of those methods require one thing that space lacks: matter. Without anything for heat to transfer to, the void would instead act as a great insulator, allowing the human to retain most of the heat that it doesn't radiate. Of course, the human body would freeze eventually, but only so long as its radiating more heat than its absorbing from cosmic radiation rather than from contact with the void itself.

http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee231/PapillonReel/themoreyouknow.jpg

(The bigger problem with Bal-Rom here would be how he managed to survive the explosive decompression, as the immense difference in pressure would've dealt severe damage to his body. My guess is magic?)

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_8_89.png

It's Marko! And look, he grew a pair! Fight that hand, Fashion Disaster!

He's fighting hand-to-hand... with a hand. A hand, for Kyrandia's sake. Am I the only one who thinks this is patently ridiculous?

Of course, that's probably why I'm loving this game so much.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_81.png

I'm breaking your rules! I'm breaking your rules! What NOW, bitches!?

Aw yeah, rainbows in the hizzouse.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_92.png

Oh, it is ON! *Battle Start!*
Bal-Rom's Left Hand
HP: 175,000 / 175,000
MP: 9,999 / 9,999
Attacks: Squeeze, Bitch Slap, Squash, Flick
Suggested Strategy: Do a barrel roll!

Wait, Kyrandia's vanishing isn't it? Quick, use the Vanish-Doom trick to take him out!

Octopus Prime
02-15-2009, 02:26 AM
I think this was brought up before, but... is the Hand wearing a glove (bodysuit?) or did Bal-Rom have white-cloth-like hands?

Indalecio
02-15-2009, 06:03 AM
I think this was brought up before, but... is the Hand wearing a glove (bodysuit?) or did Bal-Rom have white-cloth-like hands?

Well, Bal-Rom is actually an alias for Mickey Mouse. After he tried experimenting with some of those mushrooms from Wonderland.

Sky Render
02-15-2009, 09:15 AM
I think this was brought up before, but... is the Hand wearing a glove (bodysuit?) or did Bal-Rom have white-cloth-like hands?

As far as I can tell, the hand IS a glove. He has no wrist, and when you get any shot of the top of the glove, you see nothing but empty glove inside of him. I guess Bal-Rom was an amputee with a magical prosthetic left hand?

Either that, or the whole "evil wizard from space" plot point was added at the last minute to give the Hand some entirely unnecessary backstory, leading to numerous yet minor plotholes in the process.

Red Hedgehog
02-15-2009, 01:14 PM
As far as I can tell, the hand IS a glove. He has no wrist, and when you get any shot of the top of the glove, you see nothing but empty glove inside of him. I guess Bal-Rom was an amputee with a magical prosthetic left hand?

Either that, or the whole "evil wizard from space" plot point was added at the last minute to give the Hand some entirely unnecessary backstory, leading to numerous yet minor plotholes in the process.

Silly, It's just that Bal-Rom's extremities are invisible. Sort of like Phantom Limb.

Octopus Prime
02-15-2009, 01:26 PM
Silly, It's just that Bal-Rom's extremities are invisible. Sort of like Phantom Limb.

His foot is plainly visible, though.

Sky Render
02-15-2009, 03:45 PM
Part 10 - The Real Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny!

So here we are at last. Kyrandia's almost gone, and Zanthia's all but literally been to hell and back to get to the Wheels of Fate to fix things. It's time to storm the place!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_1.png

Oh, but we do have to finish crossing the Rainbow Bridge, of course. How DID Zanthia know about it, but not about the Wheels of Fate, anyway? Whatever, to the Wheels!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_2.png

...Except that there's a gigantic golden mirror making that impossible. Clearly, there's only one solution.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_3.png

Turn it to lead! Because obviously, while highly polished gold reflects tons of light, highly polished lead doesn't reflect light at all! It all makes so much sense!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_4.png

Chaos is order! War is peace! Strength is weakness! Freedom is slavery! Obey your masters now and forever! Okay, so, I bet the gears are up those steps.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_5.png

Whoa, that is NOT good!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_6.png

Meaning there's a missing gear, but there's also no loose gears in sight... I hope the Hand didn't take it with him, or else Kyrandia is REALLY screwed. What's back downstairs and to the left?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_7.png

Really, REALLY weird faces. What do they do?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_8.png

Uh oh, one of THESE puzzles... Ever seen one? If not, here's the rules: you can only move the pieces in a certain order, and the smaller ones cannot go over (or in the real-life game, under) the larger ones. It's a logic puzzle, plain and simple: you have 3 poles, and have to transfer the whole stack to one of the other poles. I'll spare you the pain of watching me do it for both of the poles on either side. Fortunately, unlike the Zork Zero version of this puzzle, you cannot make it unwinnable with an invalid move.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_9.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_10.png

The first one gave me MR. STICK! What a faithful (if somewhat creepy) companion.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_11.png

And the other one gave me a gear (hopefully the one we need)! To the control room! Time to get it on, pronto!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_12.png

Obviously this is a job for a stick.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_13.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_14.png

Yes, yes, wedge it in good!

Sky Render
02-15-2009, 03:46 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_15.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_16.png

NOOOOOOO! Not the stick! You bastards! He was Zanthia's only true friend!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_17.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_18.png

Kyrandia is saved, but oh the price we had to pay! Alas. Let us remember our departed companion, Mr. Stick...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_2_70.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_3_30.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_4_1.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_6_30.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_7_15.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_9_83.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_rip_stick.png

Rest in peace, dear friend... Your performance was the most wooden ever and you were a real stick in the mud sometimes, but you went down the straight and narrow path in the end and saved us all. You won't be forgotten...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_19.png

The Hand went back for Marko? So the guy survived, but seriously, why?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_20.png

Wuh-oh. I sense an epic battle about to take place. Cue the boss theme, 'cause it's time to avenge Mr. Stick! Show me what you can do, Hand!

Sky Render
02-15-2009, 03:47 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_21.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_22.png

Bal-Rom's Left Hand used Squeeze! Critical hit! 9999 damage!

Um, ow? Big time? Jeez. Okay, we'll dodge instead.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_23.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_24.png

Bal-Rom's Left Hand used Squash! Critical hit! 9999 damage!

Wow, that didn't work too well. How about a head-on attack?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_25.png

This one is for Mr. Stick!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_26.png

Zanthia attacks! Bal-Rom's Left Hand counters with Flick! No damage! Oh come on! At least it didn't kill Zanthia this time. Fine, we'll fake him out.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_27.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_28.png

Bal-Rom's Left Hand used Tackle! Zanthia countered with Dodge Roll! Bal-Rom's Left Hand rammed into the wall and took 5120 damage!

Looking good. Well, except that I seem to have taken a screenshot between frame transitions, so Zanthia's face appears to have split in half. But it didn't, honest! So let's... BRAVELY RUN AWAY!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_29.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_30.png

Bal-Rom's Left Hand used Bitch Slap! Zanthia was slapped into the gearworks and ground into paste!

Eugh. Alright, a more direct approach, then.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_31.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_32.png

Zanthia attacks! Bal-Rom's Left Hand used Squash! Double miss!

Did the fight just start over? Let's try dodging again, then.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_33.png

Marko frees himself and performs Tackle! Ineffective!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_34.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_35.png

Bal-Rom's Left Hand performed Squash! Critical hit! 9999 damage! Oh goddamn it. Fine, dodge the other way.

Sky Render
02-15-2009, 03:49 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_36.png

Marko performs Tackle as Zanthia performs Dodge Roll! We've got him this time, baby!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_37.png

Bal-Rom's Left Hand performs Flick! Zanthia was slapped into the gears and ground into paste!

Graaagh! So close... Well, one thing left to try: DIRECT ASSAULT!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_38.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_39.png

Marko performs Doormat Attack while Zanthia perform Shove! Bal-Rom's Left Hand is knocked over the railing!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_40.png

Save the kissing for later guys, he's still hanging on! Look out!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_41.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_42.png

Marko performed Toss Over! Bal-Rom's Left Hand was dropped into the gears and ground into paste!

HaHA, victory! Too bad it wasn't Zanthia who delivered the killing blow, though.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_43.png

Cut the guy some slack, Zanthia, he doesn't know he's such an eyesore.

...Oh wait, she meant the Hand's death. Ahahaha...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_44.png

Yeah, until Brandon declares Fishcream Sandwiches to be the national desert, anyway. Then the mechanics are gonna erase Kyrandia for its own good.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_45.png

Hear hear. (Naah, it was a blast, actually.)

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_46.png

No, you didn't. But you will hear me say "Thanks, Marko, for messing everything up."

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_47.png

Oh goddamn it Zanthia.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_48.png

Does this guy ever stop trolling for compliments?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_49.png
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_50.png

I'd argue against that, but really, if Marko hadn't done his Doormat Attack, the fight would've just kept looping forever with Zanthia and the Hand dodging around each other.

Sky Render
02-15-2009, 03:50 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_51.png

Don't ask that, he'll troll for more compliments if you do!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_52.png

Sweetheart?!?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_53.png

Wait, how did you get your hands on something that useful?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_54.png

Heh. You tell 'em, Zanthia.

Epilogue

NOTE: I had to type the dialogue here, because it doesn't show on screen.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_55.png

Hunter 1: Boy, that was a close call!
Hunter 2: You said it, pal. I, for one, am never going hunting again!

(Getting molested by a Yeti does that to you.)

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_56.png

Toad: *ribbit*
Herb: How many times do I have to tell you? You're a toad.

(A toad with an identity crisis?)

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_57.png

Fisherman 1: Oh no! We're out of cheese!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_58.png

Fisherman 2: Let's try this earwax. It's orange.

(I'm gonna miss those guys. They're such amazing idiots.)

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_59.png

Sheep: Baaah...
Baby Sheep: Mommy, when do I get the ivy?

(Don't ask me, I don't get it either...)

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_60.png

Farmer Greenberry: Get out of here!

(Justice is served?)

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_61.png

Guard 1: You cut, and I'll choose.
Guard 2: No. YOU cut, and I'LL choose.

(And so on for all eternity. Also, mid-frame-transition screenshot again; ouch.)

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_62.png

Pirate 1: I still say it was derivative drivel.
Pirate 2: Arr, you still wouldn't recognize iambic pentameter if it bit you on the arse!

(Worst. Pirates. Ever.)

ROLL CREDITS!

Sky Render
02-15-2009, 03:52 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_63.png

If only I could have shared the awesome voice talent of this game with you. Well, except for that pompous ass Brandon, who gets the biggest credit of all.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_64.png

The Hand has several actors, huh?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_65.png

Even in parts of the game where he doesn't appear, he's still got actors!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_66.png

Is it just me, or is every member of Joe Kucan's family a performer for the Hand at some point?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_67.png

Next thing you know, the Hand will be played by Justin Thyme...

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_68.png

The Foot had no actor!? No fair!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_69.png

Oh, they accidentally credited the Foot here. Also, STUNT HAND!? Laaaame!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_70.png

But the Foot was a dead ringer for Marlon Brando!

So, after the credits roll, that's it... OR IS IT?

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_71.png

No, no it's not. Ooh, look, it's Malcolm! And he's still a stone statue! Thanks for the reminder, developers, that he's gone for good. I really appreciate that.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_72.png

Man, that is one nasty storm. I hope nothing bad

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_73.png

Whoa holy crap!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_malcolm_is_back.gif

OMGWTFCLIFFHANGER! To be concluded in Malcolm's Revenge! There will be blood. There will be war.

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/mr_preview.png

There will be squirrels!

...Once I get a proper copy of the game, anyway! I downloaded a version with no VA, sound effects, or music for purposes of that screenshot, but that sort of gameplay environment is not very conducive to LPing the game. But once I do get a proper copy, you know it's gonna be epic.

Octopus Prime
02-15-2009, 04:13 PM
Well, a fight to the death against the giant hand of a comparably giant wizard is pretty cool, but I think I liked Malcom getting sucker-punched more.

Sky Render
02-15-2009, 04:20 PM
Well, a fight to the death against the giant hand of a comparably giant wizard is pretty cool, but I think I liked Malcom getting sucker-punched more.

There is a lot more comedy in that situation, yes. Even if Malcolm DID basically go down to a Vanish/Break combo in the end, without even putting up a fight.

Lucas
02-15-2009, 04:46 PM
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp121/Sky_Render/HoF/hof_10_59.png

Sheep: Baaah...
Baby Sheep: Mommy, when do I get the ivy?

(Don't ask me, I don't get it either...)


Does eat oats
And goats eat oats
And little lambs eat ivy
A kid'll eat ivy too
Wouldn't you?

Lame joke, but that's the reference.

Fun LP.

PapillonReel
02-15-2009, 04:53 PM
Oh God, the foot and hand had voice actors all this time? MIND = BLOWN

Anyway, great LP! http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee231/PapillonReel/rating_5.gif! Here's looking forward to part 3 in the future when Malcolm gets revenge!

Although if you want to work on something in the interim while tracking down Book 3, you could always go ahead and bring Chrono Cross back from the dead in the meantime, wink wink nudge nudge

Sky Render
02-15-2009, 09:48 PM
Does eat oats
And goats eat oats
And little lambs eat ivy
A kid'll eat ivy too
Wouldn't you?

Lame joke, but that's the reference.

Fun LP.

I looked up the song, and it seems it actually goes:

Mairzy doats
and dozy doats
and liddle lamzey divey
A kiddley divey too, wouldn't you?

If the words sound queer
and funny to your ear,
a little bit jumbled and jivey,
sing "Mares eat oats
and does eat oats
and little lambs eat ivy."

Apparently, this song was written back in 1943, too. ...Did the 1960s start 20 years early just for that one song or something? Anyway, thanks for clearing it up.

Oh yes, and don't think this LP's over yet...

Sky Render
02-17-2009, 08:43 PM
Part 11 - Back into the Swamps!

You thought it was over, didn't you? Oh no... You've only seen half of this game. But, you say, how is that possible? We saw the credits roll and everything! I'll tell you how: Zanthia's one-liners and comments.

Throughout the game, clicking on Zanthia triggers various comments. And she as a LOT to say. Unlike Brandon, the first game's protagonist, she says useful things and is quite sarcastic and witty about them. So, pull up a chair and get ready to re-experience Hand of Fate in a whole new light, because this is...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/snark_title.png

Which means we're back at Zanthia's lab. Man, that Hand really did a number on her stuff. I bet she's pissed. Let's listen to her ramblings.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_1.png

Because the game would be too short otherwise!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_2.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_3.png

That is a problem, yes.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_4.png

The awesome ones always suffer the most, Zanthia...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_5.png

Don't bet on it.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_6.png

The Hand! It was the Hand! Also, notice how Faun mimicks Zanthia mockingly in these scenes. Cheeky little bastard.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_7.png

No kidding! That was a perfectly good calcinator he wrecked!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_8.png

You don't know the half of it...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_9.png

Actually, it's just as well this isn't a Magic Carpet.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_10.png

Rub it in, Faun...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_11.png

Yeah, I guess that's enough bitching. For now.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_12.png

You'd probably be better off if he didn't.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_13.png

Truer words have never been spoken in Kyrandia before or after.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_14.png

*CRASH* *TINKLE*
"Goddamn it, Faun! At least wait until I'm 50 yards away before you destroy my crap!"

Sky Render
02-17-2009, 08:44 PM
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_15.png

You don't know the half of it, Zanthia. Down the hatch!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_16.png

WHOAAAAAAAH! The colors!

(Incidentally, one of my old CRT monitors used to turn this exact shade of purple at random. Percussive maintenance fixed it, sometimes. First time I played this game, I thought my monitor was messing up as usual at this point, but it wasn't.)

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_17.png

Sure gets dark quick around here...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_18.png

Yeah, no kidding. Now you're all woozy and you've got the munchies.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_19.png

And you spent all that money on that bottle of Eau de Toilet, too...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_20.png

Because he'd forget what he was supposed to do 5 minutes after his quest started, duh.

You sure there's no redeeming traits to those weeds?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_21.png

See? They're not so bad. And those Kyrandian squirrels, man. They're killers. Just ask Malcolm!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_22.png

You can always trust psychopathic jesters to tell the truth! It's a fact.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_23.png

Not even close! Hey Zanthia, what do you think of the scenery here?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_24.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_25.png

I agree! The rotting swamp water, the Tim Burton-inspired tree, the massive flowers... Wait, massive flowers? What the hell are those?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_26.png

Oho, so the Z Lady has a soft spot for swamp flowers! I bet Marko will be wanting to take notes.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_27.png

Straight as Captain Fashion Disaster himself, I bet!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_28.png

Oh get over it, Zanthia, you walked 3 whole screens.

Sky Render
02-17-2009, 08:45 PM
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_29.png

And a new door maker. Or even just *A* door maker.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_30.png

Yep, the lost ones.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_31.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_32.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_33.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_34.png

"Like halitosis! And male pattern balding! And beer guts!"

Go on, Zanthia, flatter the fairy.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_35.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_36.png

Guess the fairy doesn't swing that way. What a surprise.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_37.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_38.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_39.png

Don't look at me!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_40.png

Hey, don't knock it 'til you try it, Zanth!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_41.png

Wow, you're really enthusiastic.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_42.png

Screw that! No gold, no ride, remember?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_43.png

What is it with Kyrandian heroes and rashes, anyway?

Sky Render
02-17-2009, 08:46 PM
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_44.png

KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE! Wait, that wouldn't work, would it?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_45.png

How about my horror stories about them, Zanthia? Remember THOSE!?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_46.png

Well howdy neighbor!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_47.png

Zanthia, have you seen your house recently? You've got no place to criticize Herb.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_48.png

Yeah, that's a fine bright side. Too bad that means it's also moldy, musty, and nasty-smelling in general too. I bet those toads contribute to it.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_49.png

I'd hardly call Faun a "friend"...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_50.png

I'd be more afraid of the smell in there, to be honest.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_51.png

All together now: I'm going to Volcania soon!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_52.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_53.png

Herb is a man (er, toad) of few words. Also, I wouldn't count on him keeping said word, Zanth...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_54.png

'Cept you, of course.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_55.png

ZING!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_56.png

Zanthia, we've already established this: he's a fairy. He doesn't swing that way. Give it up.

...Oh wait, I bet she means a boat ride. Ahahaha...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_57.png

Because I told you to!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_58.png

No, you really shouldn't.

Sky Render
02-17-2009, 08:47 PM
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_59.png

Damn it, Zanthia, can you stop thinking about food for 5 minutes? Never should've had that 'shroom...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_60.png

Magic. Duh. You're a Mystic, work it out on your own.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_61.png

No thanks, I already have three. ...Don't ask.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_62.png

No, Zanthia.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_63.png

You could at least use Brandon's name when talking about him, Zanthia.

...Come to think of it, maybe it's better if you don't. It might summon him, Beetlejuice-like. And then nothing could save you.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_64.png

Ten-to-one says she has an egg for breakfast the very next morning.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_65.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_66.png

Ohoho! It's funny, see, because she's being vain about her looks!

(...Seriously, Zanthia, stop lowering your Badass Cred!)

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_67.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_68.png

I know that's my excuse when I miss something bloody obvious. Also, Zanthia not a beaver-looker: confirmed. Jessica will be so disappointed.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_69.png

Sure, but you might as well swim there instead. It'd be drier.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_70.png

Zanthia practices the art of the double-burn.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_71.png

And then, for good measure, the single-burn.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_72.png

A likely story.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_73.png

...Except that we established, like, a MONTH ago, that you aren't USING bait. Liar.

Sky Render
02-17-2009, 08:48 PM
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_74.png

Damn it, Zanthia! You love that ferry so much, why don't you marry it?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_75.png

Yeah, I often say that about dank, smelly caves in the middle of swamps, too.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_76.png

WHAT!? WHERE!?

So, I bet you're just dying to know what happens if you play Simon Says with these fruit flies. Well, THIS happens:

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_77.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_78.png

Yeah, it's no Mairzy Doats.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_79.png

Well if you'd change your socks once in a while...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_80.png

Hmm. Maybe it's the pool of swamp water? Or perhaps the giant rat? Or maybe that frog poop you stepped in earlier? I JUST DO NOT KNOW.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_11_81.png

Will you PLEASE shut up about the ferry!?

Well, that concludes part 1 of the Second Quest! Will Zanthia be able to snark her way to Morningmist Valley next time!? Of course she will. But at least we can have some pretend suspense about it, right? Come back next time and watch the sarcasm in action!

Sky Render
02-19-2009, 10:57 PM
Part 12 - Treasure Ho!

Stuck in the swamp? Need to scare a rat? Got that sinking feeling that your entire quest is a red herring? Try Zanthia brand Hair-Care Products! Because having snakes for hair is still better than putting up with all that crap!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_1.png

Oh go on, Breuth, take it! It's obvious you need it. Fine... We'll try getting the rat to join the Hair Club for Medusas.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_2.png

And for only 9 payments of $9.99, you too can have fabulous tresses like Lady Gorgon herself!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_3.png

Just look at those gorgeous curls! Hey, where are you going?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_4.png

Fortunately, I can only imagine.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_5.png

Um, "lost treasure"? Did a plot point just nip me in the butt, or did you just get spontaneous quest knowledge without a source again?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_6.png

Brilliant deduction!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_7.png

Presumably Mother Nature, Zanth. Though I doubt M.N. can claim credit for the stone skull. Speaking of which, that's pretty impressive, huh, Zanthia?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_8.png

Worms? Here? Not on a Thursday. Try back on Monday.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_9.png

No kidding. And hey, one thing's for sure: he's stoned now.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_10.png

Maybe he was the Great Green Arkleseizure?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_11.png

Alright, you know what, Zanthia? It's a carved stone skull. Can't you even figure that much out? Why are you acting so stupid?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_12.png

Ah, right, I got her stoned on shrooms earlier... Whatever, just open the skull and get the stuff.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_13.png

No it wasn't! The solution is literally right outside the cave! Anybody familiar with Simon Says or in possession of a blueberry could have solved it!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_14.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_15.png

Oh quit whining, Zanthia. You're starting to bear a vaguely passing resemblance to Brandon. And we do not want that to happen.

Sky Render
02-19-2009, 10:58 PM
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_16.png

Goddamn it, Zanthia! I swear, if you start singing crawling in my skin, I'm going to feed you to the alligator!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_17.png

Thank you. Also, those are three words I never thought I'd see strung together in that order.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_18.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_19.png

Try singing Chocolate Rain! That always works!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_20.png

Zanthia instead has opted for the more direct approach.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_21.png

It didn't work. Has it ever? Whatever, time to go Alchemist's Magnet querying. First stop: Herb's house!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_22.png

Oho, the plot thickens! So Herb takes in frogs and tries to confuse them, making them think they're toads! You sneaky little anthropomorphic thing, you!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_23.png

And deeper still! Herb's childhood fear of flies causes him to try to confuse innocent frogs! Well, you won't get away with it any more, now that Zanthia is here to stop you!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_24.png

Actually, Zanthia doesn't give a shit, and neither do I.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_25.png

...I just left there. Damn it, Breuth!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_26.png

I agree.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_27.png

Zanthia? We had this talk already. Do not imitate Brandon.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_28.png

As you can see, Zanthia is a great neighbor.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_29.png

Because I said to. Bwahahahahahaha...

Sky Render
02-19-2009, 11:00 PM
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_30.png

"You know, the one you never told me about, in the cave you didn't know about, guarded by the rat you've never heard of."

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_31.png

After her sulphur spring bath? You'd better BELIEVE it, li'l froggy!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_32.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_33.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_34.png

Damn it, Herb, you fly-a-phobic. Always opting out...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_35.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_36.png

Maybe this is a dead-end subplot! Hey, what do you know, it IS! Time to get out of here. AGAIN.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_37.png

Bad Zanthia! No Brandon behavior!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_38.png

Leave Brynn out of this. She's an airhead and you know it.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_39.png

We'll see if you're still singing the same tune once you get to Morningmist... That alligator is ticking me off.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_40.png

HaHA! Take that, irritating wildlife! Now YOU will be the one hallucinating, not Zanthia!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_41.png

Sure is. And that overgrown Venus Flytrap is no looker, either.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_42.png

You already are, Marko! Laughter's the best medicine, and Zanthia hasn't laughed this hard in months!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_43.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_44.png

It is funny, yes.

Okay, maybe Faun will say something useful.

Sky Render
02-19-2009, 11:01 PM
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_45.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_46.png

Or maybe not. Dead-end subplot reference returns! I bet the Alchemist's Magnet will get something out of the little brat.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_47.png

"Damned teenagers these days, no respect for their elders. Why back in my day..."

Oh yeah, Zanthia's the game's lead, not Dharm. My bad.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_48.png

Yes, Zanthia, you already bitched about the theft. Many many times. Let's move on now. Just give the cheese to those fishermen.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_49.png

Germany! Guess, brainiac.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_50.png

You're like a broken record. First it's the ferry, now it's the anchor. What's next, letters?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_51.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_52.png

That settles it. Zanthia is an anchorphile. Who knew?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_53.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_54.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_55.png

I made that joke last time, Breuth. Get with the times!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_56.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_57.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_58.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_59.png

Zanthia just got burned by Breuth, of all people. Ouch.

May as well get that anchor and watch the ferry burn again. Speaking of which, what would be the consequences of, say, NOT doing the letter quest, hm?

Sky Render
02-19-2009, 11:02 PM
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_60.png

Ah. Can't have that, now can we?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_61.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_62.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_63.png

Pinnacle of responsibility, this one. And hey, this time it was a damsel that caused distress!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_64.png

This does not surprise me.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_65.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_66.png

May as well pay Faun one last vis... WHAT THE HELL IS FAUN DOING!? Right, out of HERE in a hurry...

Let's just go get flung onto a haystack in Mornignmist Valley and try to forget about what we just saw, shall we?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_12_67.png

The More You Know(TM)

Finally out of the swamps. Again. And I can't help but notice that Zanthia is behaving, well... very Brandon-like at times. This does not bode well. Will she be able to reclaim her awesomeness in the Valley of the Sandwich? Tune in next time to find out!

Sky Render
02-21-2009, 05:33 PM
Either nobody cares enough about this LP to comment any more, or nobody can see the images when they're put up on my site. I'm honestly not sure which, but I'd like to know if it's the latter so I know if I need to switch back to Photobucket or not...

Bongo Bill
02-21-2009, 05:52 PM
I can see the images just fine.

PapillonReel
02-21-2009, 05:56 PM
I've been following along! 's just that I keep forgetting to comment is all, heh. ^^; Keep it going man, I'm loving the snarking.

Lucas
02-21-2009, 07:22 PM
Yeah, I'm just really lazy about commenting. I'm still reading though!

Octopus Prime
02-21-2009, 07:39 PM
Go man! Go!

Sky Render
02-21-2009, 08:17 PM
I'm glad the images are showing up right. I was actually a bit disappointed with part 12, because I had so little to work with, but fortunately part 13 is quite healthy with snarkables. So without further ado...

Part 13 - Sandwich Quest!

Last time, Zanthia escaped the swamps again, and started acting way too much like Brandon for my liking. Now she's in Mornignmist, where hopefully her manner will improve.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_1.png

Then again, maybe not. (Come on, Zanthia, I'm DYING out here! I know, entertain them with a roll in the hay!)

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_2.png

...SO don't want to know. MOVING ON.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_3.png

Cute? Look a bit closer, Zanth.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_4.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_5.png

Yeah, that's what I thought. Against all better judgment (and indeed, all judgment, period), let's try and get something useful out of the farmer.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_6.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_7.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_8.png

There's that Zanthia wit we were missing before! Good to have you back, Zanth!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_9.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_10.png

You don't have to tell him your life story, you know...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_11.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_12.png

Wait wait wait, I can't fathom this. Did somebody in this game... actually say something HELPFUL? This is unprecedented!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_13.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_14.png

Oh wait, he's back to being a smartass. Whew, crisis averted.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_15.png

Oh, not another fetish. Keep track, folks. So far, Zanthia is obsessed with ferries, fairies, anchors, and gates.

Sky Render
02-21-2009, 08:18 PM
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_16.png

Must've been a real pounder.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_17.png

*GASP*! The shocking truth revealed! Zanthia IS jealous of Marko's Hand! ...Wait, did we ever find out why the grinder looks like a giant hand?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_18.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_19.png

Ah, because all of Kyrandia's builders are batshit insane. Gotcha.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_20.png

Ooh, is this one of those "spot 5 things wrong" puzzles? Oh wait, she's talking about Mr. Stick.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_21.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_22.png

Looks like her 'shrooms from before are coming back with a vengeance. Zanthia: it's a stone hand. It's not alive. Get a grip!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_23.png

Why hello sailor! Come here often?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_24.png

Oh.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_25.png

Damn it, Zanthia, how many of those mushies did you eat before you went on this quest?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_26.png

With all due respect, Zanthia, you don't know Jack about sparrows.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_27.png

Zanthia, what are you doing?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_28.png

...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_29.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_30.png

You know what? I think those mushrooms had mescaline in them. She's talking to a scarecrow. And she expects it to answer. Wait... Could it be that this entire game is nothing but a prolonged drug trip!?

Sky Render
02-21-2009, 08:19 PM
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_31.png

No kidding. That just confirms my suspicions! Zanthia isn't on a fantastic adventure, she's just high!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_32.png

Uh-oh, Zanthia's found one of her fetish objects...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_33.png

*snerk* Good one, Zanth... Yeah, let's see how that goes. Chat it up with the goat-lovers.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_34.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_35.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_36.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_37.png

Give up yet, Zanthia?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_38.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_39.png

Didn't your mother ever teach you not to indulge others' fetishes?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_40.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_41.png

You just know that rule was made by Brandon...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_42.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_43.png

And the residents haven't run you guys out of town yet because...? Oh right, the "residents" consist of the world's sissiest pirates ever, a swindling octopus gambler, Brandoppleganger, Sheriff Fishhumper, Captain Analretentive, Sailor Redshirt, and Sailor Bitparte. Ie. a bunch of assholes, just like you two.

Sky Render
02-21-2009, 08:20 PM
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_44.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_45.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_46.png

Liar. I'll prove it, too, watch. Alchemist's Magnet, go!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_47.png

See? I bet the ghost has some skeletons in his closet, too. Er, figuratively speaking, of course.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_48.png

I knew it.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_49.png

I'd be more worried about what Faun is doing, myself...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_50.png

Well that just came out of nowhere.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_51.png

Oh, so that's why she's worried about Faun. Guess I was right, huh?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_52.png

Another non-sequitur? Who knew bottling a ghost could make one so randomly expositional?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_53.png

Ohh, so it was a setup for... more exposition. Huh.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_54.png

And we get another shocking reveal: not only is Zanthia jealous of the Hand, but she IS attracted to Marko! Poor, poor Zanthia...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_55.png

It would save you a lot of trouble.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_56.png

This is a question that you should have asked back when you were chosen for the job!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_57.png

Good question! Also, that ups the Mairzy Doats references in this game to 2. Somebody on the development staff really likes that song, methinks. Anyway, time to get rid of this ghost so Zanthia can stop being so speculative.

Sky Render
02-21-2009, 08:21 PM
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_58.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_59.png

I thought I told you to leave Brynn out of this, Zanthia. Go into the cellar as punishment.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_60.png

There's a hole in the bucket, dear Zanthia, dear Zanthia? A hole in the bucket, Zanthia my dear? Well too bad, I ain't fixin' it.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_61.png

A better question: why did he put a wheelbarrow in his cellar?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_62.png

Looks like a golf club to me. I always suck at golf, too, Zanthia. I prefer to help other players pick their club for a long shot. I guess you could call me a backseat driver.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_63.png

You mean like the entire lower half of your inventory? Brilliant deduction!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_64.png

AGAIN with the gate fetish! What is it about water wheels that makes her think of gates? ...Actually, now that I think of it, I DON'T WANT TO KNOW, EVER.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_65.png

Actually, I'm pretty sure the rest of Kyrandia is pretty indifferent, too.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_66.png

Dude, is that farmer still chasing that scarecrow?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_67.png

That's not the kind of thing you fail to notice until half an hour later, you know, Zanthia... Also, the farmer and scarecrow are still at it down there in the background.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_68.png

As we established 10 parts ago, he doesn't. Spite him for it and clip his sheep's wool.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_69.png

It does scream "home haircut", doesn't it? Have a drink, Zanthia! Fresh goat's milk!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_70.png

Nummy. Okay, okay, we'll make the sandwich already.

Sky Render
02-21-2009, 08:23 PM
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_71.png

I wasn't aware the rat had a brand. Rat Brand Cheese Food Product: for when you want to put the bleu back in bleu cheese!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_72.png

Yep.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_73.png

Nope.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_13_74.png

Word.

Well, Zanthia reclaimed some of her awesome in Morningmist, but now she's starting to hallucinate too! Will Zanthia make it to Volcania, or will she die doing something terribly stupid thanks to the toxins in her system? Find out next time!

Sky Render
02-23-2009, 12:44 AM
Part 14 - Raising the Bar!

So Zanthia's off on her mystical odyssey/drug trip, and has finally gotten into the town of Highmoon. Her quest is going... well, horribly, all things considered. Nobody seems to want to help the Z lady.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_1.png

Hope springs eternal...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_2.png

It's metal, Zanthia. Damn, those shrooms are taking AGES to wear off...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_3.png

That's good advice for life, right there.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_4.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_5.png

It's always good to know that Zanthia's opinion of Brandon is only a bit higher than mine. Also, hooray for treason!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_6.png

I have no idea what it's supposed to do Zanthia, and it's driving me nuts!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_7.png

I think, once the cliffs hit the state where the bottoms are a quarter of the size of the tops, that "tremendous erosion" is an understatement.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_8.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_9.png

Another fetish!? Is there anything that doesn't turn this woman on? Besides Brandon, but really, that's just a given. Well, what about those masts down in the bay?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_10.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_11.png

So the cheap-looking background scenery... is actually cheap background scenery. SHOCK.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_12.png

A subsidiary of Microsoft. Well that explains Brandoppelganger's attitude.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_13.png

Isn't Drinking & Dragons a variation of Dungeons & Dragons where all the players take a shot whenever somebody casts Magic Missile?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_14.png

Silly Zanthia, MustardStop doesn't keep any more new product in stock than absolutely necessary! They buy and sell used mustard! Strangely, their used mustard doesn't sell so well...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_15.png

So you can't trust Herb with spices?

Sky Render
02-23-2009, 12:45 AM
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_16.png

Colonel Mustard, that's who!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_17.png

Not really. Then again, I guess the Post-It hasn't been invented yet in Kyrandia.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_18.png

Ever since Brandon came up with Mustard Wednesdays, yeah.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_19.png

Zanthia has chest envy. Remember, Z: it's not the size that counts, it's the woman that counts the size! Wait, that's not how it goes...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_20.png

No, because mustard is shelf-stable. Shows how much YOU know.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_21.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_22.png

Of course not. In the Condiment Cabal, you don't outdo the head of the syndicate. Cross Father Mustardlips, and you'll find a lettuce head in your bed!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_23.png

The cover charge is 2 Zorkmids. Can't pay? We also accept snark.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_24.png

They wouldn't give you a ride even if they had one. Well, not that kind of ride, anyway.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_25.png

That's what I keep saying!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_26.png

Nah, actually, that window was last cleaned 94 years ago. They're aiming for 100 before they clean it.

Well, since Zanthia's not in her right mind, I'm sure she's going to do something incredibly stupid any minute now.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_27.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_28.png

Like ask one of the pirates for directions.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_29.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_30.png

Twice. Also, don't say "baloney", Zanthia's still got the munchies.

Sky Render
02-23-2009, 12:46 AM
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_31.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_32.png

And yet, you still dress like pirates... Not buyin' it. Maybe baldy has something more to say about that one boat... What was it called?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_33.png

Right, whatever.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_34.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_35.png

"Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Willis?"

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_36.png

"You know, cannibals! Those people who eat other people! They like mustard on the people they eat! When they can't get any fava beans, anyway."

"...You're full of it."

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_37.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_38.png

Well what'd you expect him to do, Zanthia? Remember, kids: don't try to take the moral high ground when you're high.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_39.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_40.png

Also, nobody in Kyrandia is ever helpful. When will you learn, Zanthia?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_41.png

Getting ready to RUMBLE! Or read poetry. With these pirates, there's really not much of a distinction between the two.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_42.png

What the hell, Zanthia! You just passed out in your own puke! And now the pirates are gonna rob you! (Reformed, my ass.)

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_43.png

You should probably get a priest first.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_44.png

Good idea, that.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_45.png

Oh, I guess she's fine. The mushies must've caused her to puke. So the toxin should be out of her system now, right? And yeah, is anybody really surprised that Brandon is an unpopular ruler?

Sky Render
02-23-2009, 12:47 AM
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_46.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_47.png

Umm, given that she's talking to a one-eyed parrot with a pegleg, I'm going to venture that the drugs aren't all out of her system yet...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_48.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_49.png

Well, the parrot's not exactly lying...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_50.png

Again, why did you not bring this up before you took the job?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_51.png

Sound advice that, for the sake of comedy, will be completely ignored.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_52.png

Probably not, but it'd be funny as hell if Kallak's lamp, of all things, was the sole plunder of the sissiest pirates ever.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_53.png

Nope, it's a frog table. Keep 'em straight.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_54.png

Oh jeez, here we go again...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_55.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_56.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_57.png

"Yes, thank you for asking."

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_58.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_59.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_60.png

GASP! They called Zanthia out on her bad behavior! Oh NOES! There's only one thing to do now!

Sky Render
02-23-2009, 12:48 AM
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_61.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_62.png

Start a brawl while Zanthia trades non-sequiturs with a pirate parrot! ...It made sense at the time.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_63.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_64.png

Yeah, this parrot isn't being helpful, Zanthia.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_65.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_66.png

I love how everybody in this game basically tells Zanthia to go talk to herself for help.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_67.png

The Nome King. Duh.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_68.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_69.png

Hey, the octopus knows something! Quick, press him for details, Zanthia!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_70.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_71.png

Goddamn it, Zanthia! Can't you focus on the task at hand? Seriously, your attention's more divided lately than a 6-year-old on Pixie Stix...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_72.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_73.png

LOOK MA I'M FORESHADOWING!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_74.png

You mean that tiny little raft he burnt to cinders? Have you looked in your cauldron recently? It drifts by on occasion.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_75.png

And in Kyrandia, that's saying something.

Sky Render
02-23-2009, 12:49 AM
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_76.png

The former, silly.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_77.png

Good, you realize that, at least...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_78.png

Zanthia: tail bones. Look it up.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_79.png

Hmph. Malcolm would indulge me.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_80.png

See?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_81.png

I guess Zanthia is concerned about the blind newt population?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_82.png

And neither should you. I mean, you're messed up enough as it is from just one magic mushie.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_83.png

Shows how little you know! It's actually a window in the side of a pile of muck!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_84.png

The universal Kyrandian quest: the search for decent footwear!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_85.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_86.png

If you didn't guess, Zanthia flunked out of Metaphors 101. But she aced Advanced Snarkery.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_87.png

Ohohoho! That Zanthia, always willing to surrender her badass cred to show off how vain she can be!

(Come ON, Zanthia! You're gonna be running on badass FUMES by the time the game's over at this rate!)

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_88.png

I wasn't aware that Muddy Footprint Making was a Girl Scout activity.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_89.png

Do they even HAVE keychains in Kyrandia?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_90.png

Nah, you're thinking of the elephant you shot in your pajamas. How he ever got into your pajamas I'll never know.

Sky Render
02-23-2009, 12:51 AM
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_91.png

Oh don't lie to us. We all know you like to sniff that stuff, Zanthia.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_92.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_93.png

It's funny, see, because it reinforces the stereotype that all intellectually minded people are weaklings. Where would we be without gross generalizations like that?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_94.png

Zanthia gets vertigo? Who would've guessed?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_95.png

No, Zanthia, that's a very dangerous rope hanging loosely from a tree, and I don't think any kid would

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_96.png

OH GODDAMN IT ZANTHIA!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_97.png

Know what? You got yourself into this mess, you can get yourself out of it on your own.

So, assuming she survives, next time Zanthia gets to un-trance a bunch of people even more stoned than she is. Will she succeed? Or will she just manage to get herself killed? Again? Repeatedly? Find out next time!

Sky Render
02-27-2009, 09:21 PM
Well, I guess I should check up and see how Zanthia is doing on getting out of her pickle.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_14_98.png

Do I have to do everything for you, Zanthia? Sorry, folks. Gotta ressurect the Z-lady before the LP can continue. It'll probably take at least 16 hours, too...

PapillonReel
02-28-2009, 03:43 AM
Oh, Zanthia you klutz. I swear, the things you get yourself into...

Sky Render
02-28-2009, 06:03 PM
Part 15 - Skeptical Shenanigans!

You would not believe how much priests in Kyrandia charge to revive somebody. It's highway robbery! Anyway, Zanthia is finally back on her feet, and they've installed a rope that works, so she can finally get with the potion-making.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_1.png

But first, a chain of meaningless non-sequiturs.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_2.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_3.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_4.png

That was fun. Now, to mix the po... wait a minute. Zanthia, you forgot the reptile's tears! Back to Morningmist, then... (See what I have to put up with, folks?)

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_5.png

The fetish returns! Nowhere is safe!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_6.png

I'd say this is a silly claim, but really, that's hard to do with everything else that's happened and is going to happen in this game.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_7.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_8.png

Why does the phrase "slow learner" come to mind every time Zanthia talks to somebody?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_9.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_10.png

Ah, petty corruption. Isn't it delightful?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_11.png

No, it's the gate to Hell. What do you think? Seriously, she wanders around town for an hour and only now thinks to ask if it's where she thinks it is...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_12.png

Yeah, who didn't see that response coming?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_13.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_14.png

Yes, Zanthia, we know you have a boat fetish. You don't have to keep reminding us.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_15.png

We've been over this before. Don't tell me what to do, or I'll make you drink reptile's tears again.

Sky Render
02-28-2009, 06:05 PM
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_16.png

Oh jeez, she has a Volcania fetish too...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_17.png

Because I told you to go there! Mwahahahaha!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_18.png

Your fetishes are getting out of hand, Zanthia...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_19.png

Enough.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_20.png

...Hey, you think the Church of Kyrandia will give me a refund if I kill Zanthia again? Probably not, huh? Damn...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_21.png

Oh please tell me she doesn't have a thing for Mr. Stick too... Well, whatever, now it's FINALLY time to make some Skeptic's Potions.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_22.png

Damn it, Zanthia, pay attention! We have people to un-trancify!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_23.png

The fish are performing work in the scientific sense, sure.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_24.png

Hope springs eternal. Or is it Hope Springs, Vermont? One or the other.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_25.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_26.png

Now you're using your noggin!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_27.png

...And now you're not. It was a nice 10 seconds of lucidity, anyway.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_28.png

The one on Three Mile Island, of course.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_29.png

Now look what you did, your off-hand comments woke him up!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_30.png
What? No! I had no idea! I thought you wanted to go to Miltonia! Why didn't you say something sooner? Oh wait. You did. Constantly.

Sky Render
02-28-2009, 06:06 PM
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_31.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_32.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_33.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_34.png

You never learn, Zanthia...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_35.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_36.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_37.png

You just never learn...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_38.png

Ah, nobody. That's why they get paid, dimwit. (I wish Zanthia would recover already. You'd think being brought back from the dead would remove all status ailments, but no...)

May as well pay Marko a visit.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_39.png

Are the anti-drug laws really that overbearing in Kyrandia?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_40.png

Gonna enter again this year, Zanthia? You might get 4th place this time!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_41.png

TMI, Zanthia...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_42.png

Zanthia's skills of observation are unmatched!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_43.png

While you can sometimes hear air flow through shells in a manner that resembles waves, at that distance, I'm pretty sure what you're hearing is the actual ocean, coming from outside.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_44.png

Do they do housework, or are they just clingers-on?

Sky Render
02-28-2009, 06:07 PM
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_45.png

Yet it's still sufficient to keep you in check. Funny, that. Hey, let's see what deep, dark secrets Marko will admit to the Alchemist's Magnet.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_46.png

...GETTING THE HELL OUT OF HERE NOW.

How about the sheriff?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_47.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_48.png

I knew it!

What embarrassing things can we get out of the ship captain?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_49.png

Mwahahaha! And the octopus?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_50.png

Thanks for the tip. Sucker!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_51.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_52.png

Of course he won't take lead teeth. And man does this guy suck at not giving away how to beat the odds. Let's see if he's still smug after I win 2 gold teeth off his ass.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_53.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_54.png

Yeah, I didn't think so.

Let's get some dirt on the parrot, too.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_55.png

Even the parrot is pathetic. Next thing you know, it'll turn out that the clerk at the mustard shop hates mustard.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_56.png

Wow, I called that one. Hm, I wonder what the fine print on the boat voucher says...

Sky Render
02-28-2009, 06:08 PM
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_57.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_58.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_59.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_60.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_61.png

Note to self: never go on a Kyrandian cruise...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_62.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_63.png

That'd be my guess, anyway.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_64.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_65.png

Careful, Zanthia. You're bordering on insulting Father Mustardlips, and you know what he does to people who insult him...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_66.png

That would be faster than waiting for me to get you to Volcania, I will admit.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_67.png

Uh oh, she's having a relapse of Brandonitis...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_68.png

Sure there are. They're being ridden by the pink elephants. Don't you see them?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_69.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_70.png

Fun fact: Zanthia got first place in last year's All-Kyrandia Non-Sequitur Contest. But enough about that, let's discuss farming some more.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_71.png

Crows, presumably.

Sky Render
02-28-2009, 06:10 PM
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_72.png

Fun fact: Zanthia didn't even clear the qualifying round in last year's All-Kyrandia Meaningful Observations Contest.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_73.png

She did, however, take home the Captain Obvious Award for Best Stater of the Unmissable.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_74.png

Extra! Extra! Read all about it! Bal-Rom's Right Hand Quits Day Job, Becomes Grinder! Left Hand Refuses to Speak to the Right Hand Now!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_75.png

Truly, Zanthia, your Captain Obvious Award was well-issued.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_76.png

Sure it can. If you let it sit long enough, anything it makes becomes Swiss cheese.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_77.png

I'm pretty sure the sheriff built it. Hey, if you wanna shoot the sheriff, be my guest.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_78.png

You don't know the half of it. It's usually rewarded. I mean, just look at Brandon. He got the throne of the entire nation for being legendarily incompetent!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_79.png

Oh, he is. Look there, on the side. It says "Product of Malcolm the Jester's Toy Factory, LLC".

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_80.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_81.png

Fun fact: Zanthia is banned from participating in the All-Kyrandia Understatement of the Year Contest, because she won it sixteen years in a row.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_82.png

Wow, Zanthia just broke the fourth wall there. I mean, without me even implying it or anything. Okay okay, I'll get you on the boat to Volcania, just give me a few more snarks.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_83.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_84.png

Ooh, a snark AND a burn! Okay, you win. To the boat!

Sky Render
02-28-2009, 06:11 PM
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_85.png

Don't bother, they've got LoJack installed on it. You'd have better luck hitting on the sailors to see if you can't get them to give you control of the ship that way.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_86.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_87.png

Is that all you got? Try harder, Zanthia!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_88.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_89.png

Pathetic, pathetic! One more try!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_90.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_15_91.png

You fail at seduction, Zanthia.

Well, once again Zanthia is on her way to Volcania. Only this time, it sounds like she has, erm, other plans for it. Tune in next time to see how deep Zanthia's love of Volcania really goes.

Sky Render
03-04-2009, 06:41 PM
Part 16 - Hot Time on Volcania!

Last time, Zanthia did a lot of unimportant things, but mostly just complained about how she wasn't on Volcania yet. She then hopped on a tour boat to Mustard Island and tried to seduce some sailors. Which failed, of course. Wonder why?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_1.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_2.png

Oh of course, grog! She forgot the booze. Guess that old adage is true, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach (or failing that, through his upper chest with a high-bore rifle).

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_3.png

The Steering Committee, of course.

And on Mustard Island, Zanthia takes in the scenery...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_4.png

I don't think boats have evil twins, actually.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_5.png

Mind the pepper.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_6.png

Be glad you didn't land on Nymphomaniac Isle, where "condiment" has a very different meaning. And spelling.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_7.png

Are you givin' it all ya got, Zanthia? Can you take much more?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_8.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_9.png

Oh now you've done it. Expect a parcel from Father Mustardlips on your doorstep when you get home, Zanthia. Whatever you do, do not open it.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_10.png

Not if Zanthia has anything to say about it! Steering system, meet magnet!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_11.png

Oh right, the copper pot is a bit conspicuous, huh? To the rope coil it goes, then, and to Volcania Zanthia goes as a result!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_12.png

Zanthia, um... What the HELL are you going to do to Volcania? I'm keeping you well clear of any long, slender objects on this island...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_13.png

To be fair, Volcania's travel brochures really have to talk the place up. In fact, they all feature pictures from different islands entirely. It's that nasty here.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_14.png

Makes me wonder why you don't get a new one with your wardrobe spell already!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_15.png

I'm pretty sure you've violated the return policy for it by now.

Sky Render
03-04-2009, 06:43 PM
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_16.png

No, it's a cold air vent! (First she puts Captain Obvious out of a job, now she's thwarting Captain Oblivious...)

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_17.png

Fly, Zanthia, fly! Just aim for the ground and miss!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_18.png

No no, miss the ground, not crash into the ground with your ass.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_19.png

Tonight the role of Zanthia will be played by Keanu Reeves.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_20.png

See above. And yeah, that fruit does kinda look like a mutated pomegranate.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_21.png

Which is exactly why we'll be keeping you AS FAR AWAY AS POSSIBLE from them. Don't think I've forgotten your little Volcania fetish, Zanthia. We don't want to see what you plan to do with those things...

< SCENE MISSING >

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_22.png

OH GODDAMN YOU, ZANTHIA! MY EYES! MY FUCKING EYES! THEY BURN!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_23.png

And I'd kill for some brain bleach right now...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_24.png

Damn it, Zanthia! You've already done unspeakable things to one piece of the landscape! I really don't want to see what you'd to do with the lava with your precious "icy-socks"...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_25.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_26.png

Because they're useless for anything else? Probably?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_27.png

Don't remind me. My eyes are still burning from the last time you were "perseverent".

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_28.png

Yep, but it's out of order. Please use the handbasket instead.

Sky Render
03-04-2009, 06:44 PM
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_29.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_30.png

Zanthia practices ironic foreshadowing. Hey, there's a hot air vent here, too.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_31.png

Now see, THAT is how you do a Marilyn Monroe impression.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_32.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_33.png

...Riiiight. You just keep telling yourself that...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_34.png

It's a volcanic isle, Zanthia. What were you expecting, Perri-Air?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_35.png

DON'T USE SWEATY AND PAINFUL IN THE SAME SENTENCE OH GOD THE MEMORIES DAMN YOU ZANTHIA DAMN YOUR FETISH AUGH THE MENTAL IMAGES THEY BURRRRRRRRN!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_36.png

WHY DID YOU BRING UP THE CORNSTARCH OH GOD DAMN YOU HOW THE HELL CAN ANYBODY DO THAT TO INNOCENT CRYSTALS AND THE CORNSTARCH TOO OH FUCK I HATE YOU ARRRRGH!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_37.png

...Don't you DARE!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_38.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_39.png

If you were in charge, there wouldn't be a single unmolested thing left on Volcania by tomorrow morning. I think we're both better off with me in charge, thank you very much...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_40.png

I dunno, it almost has a bit of a Burton-esque ambiance to it.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_41.png

Oh he is. Mostly because he saw what you did back on the beach.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_42.png

Oh lay off, Zanthia. The guy's paid in seashells, for crap's sake.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_43.png

It's the DAG, yo! So, let's see how much this guy charges.

(NOTE: All the merchants on Volcania have the same general spiels, so forgive me for not providing shots of everything.)

Sky Render
03-04-2009, 06:46 PM
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_44.png

Oh, well, that's not so bad. Here you go!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_45.png

What.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_46.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_47.png

Oh for the love of...! Fine, we'll wait...

* 15 minutes later *

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_48.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_49.png

What? You lying son of a bitch, you said it'd only be 3 minutes, and it's been 15 minutes! Fine, I'll wait... (Not like I have a choice...)

* 15 minutes later *

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_48.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_50.png

Bullshit! It's been half a damned HOUR since I got here! Are we even working by the same definition of time!?

* 15 minutes later *

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_51.png

AND THEN SOME.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_52.png

Nice excuse, asshole...

* 2 hours later *

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_53.png

Yeah, I know. Where the hell have you been!? Even working by that guy's twisted idea of time, you're 2 HOURS late! I want to speak to your manager! Oh wait, let me guess, you're self-employed. Fine, here's your damned sand dollars.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_54.png

Thank God. You'd better not tell me to go to the red line next, or I swear, I'll fucking KILL you.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_55.png

Oh not this shit again...

Sky Render
03-04-2009, 06:47 PM
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_56.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_57.png

Yeah, we all know what that means... More like 3 HOURS...

* 3 hours later *

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_58.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_59.png

Give or take 177 minutes...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_60.png

You have GOT to be kidding me...

* 6 hours later *

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_61.png

You don't know the half of it. My urge to KILL YOU is through the roof! Now give me what I paid for!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_62.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_63.png

. . .

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_64.png

Kfsphskl... Grskrlkphr... NRGHRNGHRRRR...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_65.png

ARRRRRRRRRRRRGHBLE!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_66.png

I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE YOU!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_67.png

DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_68.png

Well, that was cathartic. On with the adventure!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_69.png

Way to express your inner 10-year-old, Zanthia!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_70.png

Yeah, more religions need self-serve altars. Save your own damned soul! And pick up a coupon for a chili dog while you're there!

Sky Render
03-04-2009, 06:49 PM
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_71.png

OH GOD NO WHY DID YOU HAVE TO SAY THAT AGAIN LIKE YOU DID BEFORE WITH THE CRYSTALS OH GOD THE MEMORIES OH GOD DAMN YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU AUGH!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_72.png

AUGHEJYEQHAHEWOIHEWJIOEWSJPSIDHDOIHGEJWIOHEIEWJHNO NONONONONONONONOPLEASEJUSTSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPTHEPAI NFULMEMORIESAUGH!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_73.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_74.png

Yeah, but Brandon also can't tell his left hand from his right, so that's hardly much of a feat.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_75.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_76.png

Ask me if I care. Go on, try it.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_77.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_78.png

Yeah, about that? It's all a big prank, the actual path to the center of the world is back in Morningmist Valley, through Farmer Greenberry's basement. You got punk'd!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_79.png

It's not even a door, actually. They just painted one on the rock so Sleazebag there could laugh when people smack headlong into it trying to open it.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_80.png

Yeah, that's why no boats will go near it and why you were tossed overboard just by your vague association with it.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_81.png

All signs point to "no".

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_82.png

How about a path leading sideways? That'd be more interesting.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_83.png

Nah, it just got repainted and used by the Department of Anchor Guidance. Oh yeah, let's see if we can get any dirt on Jessica, aka. the bane of my existence.

Sky Render
03-04-2009, 06:50 PM
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_84.png

Well, I guess that means she's a ditsy idiot. Which we already knew. Damn. Maybe one of the rip-off merchants will tell me.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_85.png

Thanks, grandmotherly old lady. Just for that act of kindness, I won't slug you.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_86.png

Your overweight tub of lard you call a husband, however, is fair game for poking. Do your best Pillsbury Dough Boy impersonation, old man!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_87.png

That's good advice for life. Thanks, Sleazebag. By the way, kudos to your parents on giving you such an awful name. Well, it's about time to go down to the underground.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_88.png

Panty Shot Powers, activate!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_89.png

We're halfway there, Zanthia! Livin' on a prayer!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_16_90.png

Crap, so much for that dress. Last time Zanthia's gonna buy Miltonian fabrics, let me tell you...

Well, after a disturbing start to her little adventure, Zanthia has finally gotten through the trials of Volcania and made her way to the center of the world. Come back next time, folks, and watch Zanthia play with dinosaurs!

Sky Render
03-11-2009, 10:30 PM
Part 17 - Under Where? Over There!

Last time... actually, let's not talk about last time. It'd be better for all involved if it were forgotten. With large quantities of alcohol, in some cases. Regardless, Zanthia is now in the pits of hell, so to speak.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_17_1.png

Yeah, I bet a lot of visitors complain about that. Oh wait, what visitors!? You'd have to be certifiably insane to actually want to visit this place!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_17_2.png

Yeah, I don't think Zanthia's listening to me.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_17_3.png

What tipped you off, the giant anchor on the door?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_17_4.png

Funny how that keeps happening, isn't it?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_17_5.png

Yep, it's a lava river. (By the way, I doubt anybody noticed from the screenshots, but they forgot to animate that lava fountain in the lower left corner of this area. Whoops!)

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_17_6.png

Normally there would be, but they all got called off to some place called Mordor, to fill an order for a guy called Sauron. I'm sure they'll be back soon.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_17_7.png

Pansy.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_17_8.png

Yeah, pretty impressive. I guess.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_17_9.png

Oh please not another fetish...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_17_10.png

Whew, crisis averted. Unless she has a teddy bear fetish. ...Bad mental image...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_17_11.png

Actually, he's more the chess type.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_17_12.png

Oddly enough, they do! They blow jets of hot air continuously. One of them is actually an elected official in Miltonia, in fact.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_17_13.png

Yeah yeah, you finally have limitless gold and nothing to spend it on. Bitter much, Zanthia? Go play an RPG, this happens all the time at the end of those.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_17_14.png

You read my mind, Zanthia. (No, not really.)

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_17_15.png

Aww, but I wanted more upskirt shots...

Sky Render
03-11-2009, 10:32 PM
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_17_16.png

Brilliant deduction, except for one little problem: there is no steam anywhere near you!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_17_17.png

A door fetish, now? Remind me to never let you play Kingdom Hearts...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_17_18.png

No. No you can't. And you're an idiot for even suggesting it.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_17_19.png

Zanthia, stop giving red herring clues. This is not a real puzzle.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_17_20.png

Was that sarcasm? Because I think that was sarcasm. It was sarcasm, right? I can't tell any more, you seem to be losing your funny. In fact, it's almost like this part of the game was coded in a hurry, and they forgot a few things along the way.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_17_21.png

At that angle? Not a chance.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_17_22.png

Have you tried offering a Frequent Flier Miles package? It seems to work for credit card companies.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_17_23.png

And a pretty useless one too. Who would make something like that, anyway?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_17_24.png

Nice policy there. Because you've clearly got so many customers, and hardly any stones... Wait, who the hell put that sign here in the first place?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_17_25.png

Decisive, isn't she.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_17_26.png

And yet you said nothing of this when you were selected for the job. What is wrong with this woman!?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_17_27.png

I see. Please don't elaborate. I haven't forgotten about your boat fetish, so the less I know, the better.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_17_28.png

Zanthia: perfect customer. No wonder the scam artists of Volcania loved her.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_17_29.png

Yeah, you need to plug those. ...Uh oh. Um, I think I need to explain: Zanthia carelessly tossed one of the rocks she found into her cauldron when making the teddy bear potion. Meaning she's one rock short. Oh dear.

Sky Render
03-11-2009, 10:33 PM
Diary of a Mystic, Day 2

Though I made good progress my first day, my quest has ground to a halt, as I appear to be trapped in the center of the earth. I've already eaten Mr. Stick for nourishment, but I can't carry on much longer. I'm going to give my surroundings one last look.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_17_30.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_17_31.png

As I stood outside that accursed vault, I found myself thinking wishfully of Marko. Maybe he'll find me. Maybe he has a rock on him. If I see him, I'll be sure to ask him about it.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_17_32.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_17_33.png

Standing at the emerald bridge brings back angry memories of my journey, and I find myself hating my lack of forethought in coming down here without any plan for getting back out. How could I be so stupid!? I blame the Ceremortis Kyrandis mushroom I ate at the start of the journey.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_17_34.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_17_35.png

As I walked up the path towards the tyrannosaurus rex, whom I've nicknamed Shorty, I found my anger turning to pleading as I thought of everything that could save me that I didn't have on me. Damn damn DAMN my knapsack!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_17_36.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_17_37.png

My pleading turned slowly to depression as I passed the dog-like dinosaur I've dubbed Fido. I'm trapped, I know. There are no more rocks. There is no way out. I'm trapped. I have to accept it.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_17_38.png

I briefly pondered ending it all by tossing myself onto Shorty, but I realized that it was pointless. I just can't bring myself to end it like that. Maybe I can occupy myself somehow, to help stave off the madness...

Sky Render
03-11-2009, 10:35 PM
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_17_39.png

Diary of a Mystic, Day 3

I decided to build a few more teddy bears to keep me company. There's lots of heart-shaped lead and black pebbles down here, and the crystal palm fuzz grows back fast too. They're kind of cute, actually. I think I'll give them all names.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_17_40.png

Diary of a Mystic, Day 5

My little bear family has doubled. It's getting harder to make these bears, but I can't just give up. It's the only thing keeping me sane. I've named them Ginger, Cinnamon, Cloves, Nutmeg, Sugar, Flour, Molasses, Vinegar, Baking Soda, and Brown Sugar. For some reason, I have a craving for gingerbread cookies now...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_17_41.png

Diary of a Mystic, Day 8

Five more darlings have joined my family now. Ginger and Flour got in a fight this morning, and I had to separate them. Vinegar says she has a cold, but I think she's just trying to get out of going to class today. Their new siblings, Ketchup, Mustard, Mayonnaise, Relish, and Dijon, are getting along well, at least. And I don't know why, but I have an incredible craving for hot dogs now.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_17_42.png

Diary of a Mystic, Day 12

Being a mom is tiring work. Ketchup and Mustard put ash in my morning bowl of hot water soup, and I had to spank them for it. And Molasses poured lava all over my favorite pebble. He got sent to his room for that. Five more children have joined my family, whom I have named Shrimp, Salmon, Squid, Scallops, and Starfish. I've also had this incredible craving for seafood lately, but I don't know why.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_17_43.png

Diary of a Mystic, Day 17

Twenty-five of the little bastards now. Where do they keep coming from? And the pranks they keep pulling on me are driving me insane! Yesterday, Salmon and Baking Soda tried to push me off the cliff into Shorty's mouth! And I caught Shrimp plotting my death! I'm not sure how much longer I'm safe from these things. Five more have appeared, calling themselves Cheese, Ham, Lettuce, Tomato, and Bread. It's like their mocking my craving for sandwiches!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_17_44.png

Diary of a Mystic, Day 23

why wont they stop where do they come from oh god the bears theyre everywhere oh god help me what am i going to do somebody please help me now theres thirty of them and the new ones call themselves water air food sleep and escape like they know thats what i want most oh god help me how do i get out of here somebody save me oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god im going to die down here save me save me save me save me save me save me save me save me save me save me save me save me save me save me save me save me save me save me save me save me save me save me save me save me save me save me save me save me please please please anyone please oh god oh god oh

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_17_45.png

And that's where the diary ends. Sadly, Zanthia was never heard from again.

(Odds are good you will NEVER see that message on the bottom of the screen there during normal play, by the way.)

Surely this isn't the end! Surely somehow we can save Zanthia! If only we had the power to reverse time! But unfortunately, I cannot undo what has happened on my own. There must be a strong desire, an overwhelming will to see Zanthia finish her quest! Can you help provide this for her? I can't do it alone! Please, for Zanthia's sake, help me bring her back so she can save Kyrandia!

Dart Zaidyer
03-11-2009, 10:51 PM
For some reason I laughed pretty hard at this line:


I've already eaten Mr. Stick for nourishment, but I can't carry on much longer.

It's worth finishing the thread for lines like these.

PapillonReel
03-12-2009, 02:19 PM
The diaries of Zanthia were one of the funniest things I've seen yet on this subforum. Food, water, air, sleep and escape, Hahahaha

Keep it going Sky Render. There's no getting offa this train we're on.

Sky Render
03-12-2009, 06:35 PM
I was absolutely amazed when I found the glitch that makes it so you can't ever escape the center of the earth. How could they miss the fact that you can toss a rock in the cauldron and not have it be auto-respawning, but make it so the lump of lead for the teddy bear is auto-respawning? Why did they make it so you can build infinite (or as the engine's limits allow, 30) teddy bears but can never actually dispose of them?

As I mentioned in my commentary, the whole center of the earth part of the game, upon digging deeper, appears to have been made in haste. Barely anything can be interacted with, Zanthia spouts inappropriate commentary at times (the red herring dinosaur puzzle clue, the steam suggestion that's both a red herring and nonsensical, etc.), and there's even elements of the background that don't animate but clearly should.

Oh, and I'm not kidding, you can't dispose of teddy bears. Zanthia just says "I don't think I want to do that" if you try to put a teddy bear in the cauldron. That being the case, it's just astounding that you can even make more than one, seeing as there's exactly one use ever for a teddy bear, and no way you can "lose" one before you get to that part.

So not only did they manage to make the game potentially unwinnable due to a programming oversight, they also managed to make it so that you can flood the game world with too many objects and prevent any more objects from being made. Including auto-spawning objects; I only quit at 30 bears because the lump of lead for the teddy bear heart stopped appearing.

Sky Render
03-12-2009, 08:06 PM
I decided to go back to Morningmist and see if I could replicate the issue there. The end result?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_17_46.png

Zanthia is the queen of sandwiches!

Doing this turned out to be a VERY bad idea, too. After those last two sandwiches, Zanthia's flasks got erased from the world. Meaning there was no way to make any Skeptic's Potions, meaning another unwinnable scenario. Fortunately, you'd have to be intentionally daft to ever get stuck like this, and you'd get exactly what you deserved for trying to break the game.

Oh, but I did nab 2 more gems I missed before from the random Zanthia commentary in that area!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_17_47.png

Which makes my earlier comment about there being a secret passage to the center of the earth in Farmer Greenberry's basement even funnier, of course.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_17_48.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_17_49.png

I agree.

Anyway, it looks like we may be able to revive the Z-lady. But it could take a while, as I have to plea-bargain with the Finals Devil for her life. They tend to take at least a week to get back to you, too.

Sky Render
03-13-2009, 02:14 PM
I decided to do a bit of item hacking, and discovered a few VERY interesting tidbits... Like, for example, that some of the items you can normally only find in the Rainbow Room have alternate "click-over" descriptions outside of it, even though you can never leave the Rainbow Room with them. And I discovered what may well be a dummied item, the Secret Potion... Oh, I think there's going to be some very interesting bonus content for this game's postmortem...

Sky Render
03-19-2009, 04:11 PM
Part 18 - The Fantastic Forest!

Thanks to the help of the mysterious Arthur C. Money, Zanthia was able to transmute a lump of lead into a heavy rock and escape Volcania!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_1.png

Hey, I didn't say it was a graceful escape.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_2.png

It's nice to see that the better part of a month spent building teddy bears and generally going insane hasn't dampened Zanthia's enthusiasm, at least.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_3.png

Though she clearly hasn't forgotten said better part of a month.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_4.png

Could be worse. If you'd landed a few feet further up, you'd have a broken back from slamming into the flint stone on top of everything else.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_5.png

Actually, when it comes to cutting down trees up here, they just leave it to beavers.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_6.png

I guess Zanthia has a thing for mutated bonsai pine trees.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_7.png

Don't be so jaded, Zanthia, taking everything for granite. That's clearly sandstone.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_8.png

No no, look, I just told you... Oh, I give up. Your head's as hard as a rock, and your beliefs are clearly set in stone. I'm obviously not going to change your opinion if you're so crystallized about it.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_9.png

You would think that, but it's actually just a matte painting.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_10.png

Well, given a velocity due to gravity of 9.8m/s/s and your overall falling time after your apex of about 4 seconds... yeah, you were going pretty fast.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_11.png

Tonight the part of the Energizer Bunny will be played by the rolling stone.

(I found an amusing little Easter egg about this item: if you set it on the ground, it rolls left until it hits an obstacle.)

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_12.png

Look Zanthia, even the squirrels are union up here.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_13.png

Of course not, that'd be stupid. It's a dirt castle.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_14.png

Yeah, Pisa shit architecture, maybe.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_15.png

Well excuse me for forgetting about the Jell-o in the back of the fridge for a few months!

Sky Render
03-19-2009, 04:13 PM
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_16.png

Okay, if you insist. Actually, the far scarier prospect is that, if that IS a sewer system, that means the big hole in the next area must be a gigantic... well, you get the picture.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_17.png

Be sure you ask Scotia next time you're in the Lands of Lore! And hope she doesn't kill you on the spot for it.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_18.png

Yep. There's a secret entrance to /b/ down there, in fact.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_19.png

It's remarkably grass-like algae, too.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_20.png

Not since the Squirrel Union drove them out of town, no.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_21.png

You'd also think that knight would have a body under that armor or something. Not everything makes sense up here.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_22.png

Yeeeeeah, scare the petrified trees... I think they're ALREADY pretty scared, so that's not gonna work.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_23.png

"Did you try going around them?"

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_24.png

Um, nice non-sequitur.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_25.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_26.png

You ever have one of those conversations where you're talking about one thing, and the other person's talking about something else, and neither of you seems to be willing to talk about what the other person's talking about? Kinda surreal, aren't they?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_27.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_28.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_29.png

Zanthia just had one of those conversations. And that's about all she's gonna get out of the Knight Errant over there.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_30.png

Couldn't agree more.

Sky Render
03-19-2009, 04:14 PM
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_31.png

That observation is about 17 parts late to be called "stating the obvious", and enters into the realm of "stating the endlessly reinforced for several hours".

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_32.png

Boy Scouts don't tend to walk around in (or in this case, be entirely comprised of) full medieval armor, but yeah, he is annoying. Hey, let's go talk to a tree!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_33.png

That'd be a pretty cool name for a garage band from Seattle.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_34.png

Well it sure beats raising cattle.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_35.png

Mystic toll puzzles? Is it just me, or did Zanthia just make a word salad with extra crazy dressing?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_36.png

There's a surprising lot of overlap between the two professions, actually. Like how both require you to be barking mad.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_37.png

Aha, the direct approach!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_38.png

Didn't work, either. Also, told ya scaring them wouldn't help.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_39.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_40.png

Here we go again... Also, great display of sanity there, Zanthia. Talking to trees is a big step up from hallucinating that teddy bears are out to kill you.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_41.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_42.png

You know, dialogue like this makes me wonder how they translated (or indeed, failed to translate) these puns into French and German.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_43.png

They don't. They do, however, have an earwig infestation.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_44.png

Some people just can't appreciate a snowman in a bottle.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_45.png

Dancing tree, old and beat, only six hundred seventeen, oh yeah!

Sky Render
03-19-2009, 04:15 PM
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_46.png

And maybe you can convince the tides to pack it in and ride a magical winged marshmallow to the Sherbet Kingdom.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_47.png

See, even Zanthia knows that'd never happen.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_48.png

Ah, so this is the player they designed GTA4 with in mind...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_49.png

WAIT WHAT

Alright, this is getting out of hand. The trees were less crazy than this guy.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_50.png

You could fix that pretty quick, I'm sure.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_51.png

THE POWER OF SNOW COMPELS YOU!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_52.png

It's alive, it's alive! I shall dub it Frankenfrosty! Go, Frankenfrosty, and defeat that bridge guard!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_53.png

Oh, right, too warm here for snow. Because it's so much colder 50 feet to the left of here. One last attempt to reason with the guard.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_54.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_55.png

Okay, seriously, what is with this guy? His responses make no sense. Let's just snowman him and get on with it.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_56.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_57.png

Well the foot bone's connected to the wrist bone... Wait, that's not how it goes...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_58.png

The Plum-Diddly Tree service used to, but their work dried up recently.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_59.png

Trust me, they're not.

Sky Render
03-19-2009, 04:17 PM
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_60.png

Why, you ask? He's Brandon. That should tell you everything.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_61.png

Naturally, a reference to pitch has come up right after mentioning King Incompetence himself.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_62.png

'Cept that one dent; I think it's doomed to be forever dull and uninteresting. I think I'll nickname it Arthur.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_63.png

Well if you'd stop trying to play them with your forehead, they wouldn't do that, now would they.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_64.png

Oh hey, an inventory item scale joke. Ahahaha, it's hilarious how the jack is AS BIG AS HER HEAD!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_65.png

Given it's the only possible drainage source for that grating, I don't think you want to know.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_66.png

Good guess, but it's actually called Harold, and the tree's name is Bob.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_67.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_68.png

These guys are nearly as helpful as Marko.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_69.png

Spellcasting: GEE OH AY DOUBLE-YOU AY WHY!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_70.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_71.png

Which, the bladed tool or the musical instrument? Because actually, I think either would work.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_72.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_73.png

I bet Bal-Rom would be happy to know that his various parts are going to be housebroken and taught how to play dead by the residents of the realms said parts land in.

Sky Render
03-19-2009, 04:18 PM
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_74.png

Have you ever heard of "rope burn", Zanthia? Don't even think about trying that.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_75.png

Your ability to state the obvious never ceases to amaze me, especially when you're actually staring at the answer to your dilemma.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_76.png

See my previous statement RE: rope burns.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_77.png

Wow, that was a pretty subtle hint even for this game's developers.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_78.png

No music appreciation at all. How sad.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_79.png

Well, let's see... Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so, meaning that undefined units of a nonexistent concept approach infinity in value, so...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_80.png

Exactly! ...Uh oh.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_81.png

Did you look in the tr

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_82.png

Damn it, stop taking all the good snarkables!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_83.png

You don't know the HALF of it, Zanthia...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_84.png

Fortune cookies provide better advice than these guys.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_85.png

Which is why you were pondering doing it just a few minutes ago, naturally. May as well see what the Alchemist's magnet gets out of the squirrel.

Sky Render
03-19-2009, 04:20 PM
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_86.png

WHAT!? Oh, that is IT! Eat my nasty nuts, you knobbly little tree-knocker!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_87.png

Not just any walnuts, either! This one was rubbed in sewer run-off!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_88.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_89.png

And I rubbed that one all over the bottom of the giant foot! So ha! Well, that should get rid of Nutkins here for good.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_90.png

That's the Lollipop Guild's office, fool!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_91.png

Why, are you afraid they're faulty towers?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_92.png

What's this? A failed attempt at humor?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_93.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_94.png

Zanthia must be practicing for next year's Captain Obvious Award nominations.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_95.png

Clearly, she has this one in the bag.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_96.png

Zanthia: Gerbil for Hire!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_97.png

If you think that's primitive, you should see how they operate the Alpinia Water Park. Sasquatch abuse hasn't been so cruel since Gator Golf.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_18_98.png

Or else what? Try me, Z-Lady, I've got CTRL+Q.

Well, that about wraps it up for the Enchanted Forest. Zanthia's clearly lost her mind, but really, I think that was just inevitable. Next time, we get the return of hot yeti lovin'. Awww yeah...

Dart Zaidyer
03-20-2009, 07:58 PM
You know, it just occurred to me, but the way this LP is going I think it would explain a lot (and be really hilarious) if Marko had his head so far in the clouds he actually sees his side of the quest as Super Marko World, with Mr. Hand as his Luigi and Zanthia as the princess to be rescued.
It would make a fun little counterpoint to all the trouble Zanthia's been going through so far. Just think: While Zanthia's been dealing with NPCs going about their goofy business and not caring at all about her quest to save the world, Marko thinks he's been on a mushroom scarfing, turtle stomping adventure with his trusty sidekick to try and win her heart.

Sky Render
03-20-2009, 08:19 PM
You know, it just occurred to me, but the way this LP is going I think it would explain a lot (and be really hilarious) if Marko had his head so far in the clouds he actually sees his side of the quest as Super Marko World, with Mr. Hand as his Luigi and Zanthia as the princess to be rescued.
It would make a fun little counterpoint to all the trouble Zanthia's been going through so far. Just think: While Zanthia's been dealing with NPCs going about their goofy business and not caring at all about her quest to save the world, Marko thinks he's been on a mushroom scarfing, turtle stomping adventure with his trusty sidekick to try and win her heart.

That is an amusing little possibility, actually. And if Zanthia ever found out about it, I bet she'd invent a new sport called "Marko polo". And it'd be twice as painful as it sounds, but that's okay, because it'd be Marko who was getting walloped around by horse jockeys.

Sky Render
03-21-2009, 06:48 PM
Part 19 - Snow Time for Games!

Zanthia finally made it (back) to Alpinia! The shortest part of the game, actually. But that's okay, because... You wanna tell them, Zanth?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_19_1.png

Indeed. If there were too many more areas, she'd have to go at it buck naked. ...Damn it, why aren't there more areas?

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I blame the lollipop that's literally as big as his head.

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And I bet you regret that fact right about now, since flying in on a broom would've taken a lot less time and effort.

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Indeed, it looks like something you'd get if M. C. Escher dropped acid.

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And the ski lift causes Zanthia to spontaneously forget how to talk like an adult. Or use punctuation. Somehow. How DO you pronounce a period, anyway?

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And so Zanthia passes up her chance to become the Kyrandian James Bond once more. At least she can still do the interrogation bit!

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Somehow I'm not surprised. Also, I think the kid heard you, lady. Care to comment, Baby Albert?

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It's an Alchemist's magnet, lady, not a fuzzy animal. It won't induce his conditioned phobia. Oh, whatever, forget it.

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OMG HAX! You mean I left out a scene before!? Yes, yes I did. This is the red herring "route to the top". There's no reason to ever visit it, so I didn't.

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And that would be why I didn't, yes. Thank you, Zanthia.

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It would be a good career move, from the looks of it. Wait, they have yo-yos in Kyrandia?

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What? No! I thought it led 90 degrees to the right of reality!

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Oh man, that Captain Obvious Award is so gonna be Zanthia's again this year...

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I bet you do, yes.

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Yes, I get it, Zanthia. Really, I do.

Sky Render
03-21-2009, 06:49 PM
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Gee, I wonder why. Maybe it's you?

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Very good, you figured it out! You get a gold star.

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It's always a good sign when the game's protagonist can't remember the name of the place they're supposed to go next.

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Oh jeez, another fetish? At least this one she never fulfills. It's so bad this time that she's forgetting punctuation in her sentences.

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I guess a stuffed vulture head IS a bit ironic.

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Hooray for anachronisms! They make the worlds of silly adventure games go 'round.

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No, it's a Caribounicorn. Get your mythological taxidermy straight.

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Hey, don't let me stop ya...

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Why, so you could blow yourself up along with them? Hello! Anybody home? Think, McZanthia, think!

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Nope, syringes. Good guess, though.

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Is it just me, or is Zanthia a KSPCA supporter?

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She's talking about the missile, obviously. Yay for broken fourth walls!

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Uh oh, Zanthia's got the munchies again...

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You and me both. Stupid things NEVER spawn in Phantom Hourglass, I swear...

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Subtle political commentary, GO!

Sky Render
03-21-2009, 06:50 PM
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Zanthia rules, Albert drools!

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Not really. You saved his one remaining tooth, from the looks of it.

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Funnily enough, this isn't true. Whatever, we'll run with it.

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Liar.

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Sounds like Billy-Bob Jethro Jenkins here is still in the closet about a few of his fetishes...

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Um, Zanthia, that was YOUR Pegasus potion. Brandon couldn't devise hot cocoa on his own, let alone something that powerful.

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I knew you'd remember that eventually. Anyway, enough delays, let's get you a date for tonight!

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Tall handsome muscular male looking for attractive long-haired female for hot sweet lovin'. Must not have aversion to body hair.

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"BASTARD! You drugged me! And your MySpace profile lied, you are NOT that big down there! I'm calling the Royal Mystics on you! ...Which is what I'm one of. Oh GOD DAMN IT!"

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Clearly, Zanthia does not enjoy hot Yeti lovin'.

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Or maybe she does. Hey big guy, queue the 70s distortion guitar music, maybe that'll help!

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Oh, guess not. Too bad, no action for Mr. Yetipants.

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Ouch, this date's going bad fast.

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And Zanthia's more the intellectual type, too. Not looking good, Yetipants...

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The falling-apart furniture doesn't impress her either! Quick, offer her a drink or something!

Sky Render
03-21-2009, 06:52 PM
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Oh no, she spotted those exotic chocolates from the sex shop! Hurry up with that drink!

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Man, what were you thinking when you bought Dead Cow scented cologne? You'll have to slip something "else" in the drink if you want any tonight, because this isn't going to work otherwise...

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She spotted your Rophynol! Game over, Yetipants, game over! That's what you get for being a sleazebag!

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Well obviously. The game would be incredibly short otherwise.

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Yeah, we all know how this one ends.

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Sounds like Zanthia has a destination suggestion for Faun's next vacation, then...

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Ah come on, Zanthia, you know you want some of that hot Yeti lovin'...

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Which is why Zanthia is going to be detrimental. Toss an icicle at them!

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What? No, don't give it to them, throw it at them! You never let me have any fun...

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Well okay, that's not ENTIRELY true... By the way, if you're wondering, you can't trap yourself here. To wit:

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_19_57.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_19_58.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_19_59.png

How considerate. If only the developers had been so cautious in designing the center of the earth area.

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Um yeah, about that? The Wheels of Fate are actually hidden in the center of the earth. You got punk'd! Again!

Sky Render
03-21-2009, 06:53 PM
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Did Zanthia just admit she's a hippie?

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...Asks the woman who spent half the game complaining about her lack of a portal potion so she could jump to her next destination instantly. GUESS.

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That is not a steep roof. It's barely over 45 degrees.

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Not many other potential candidates, unless you count Mr. Yetipants.

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That's random chance for you. Sucks when it's your number that's up.

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It keeps the termite population down, at least.

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A remarkably useless feature to have when you already have a gaping hole in the floor that will do the exact same job the exact same way.

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It sure is. And if I catch you trying to smoke it, so help me...

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What have I done? Don't you dare, Zanthia, don't you DARE!

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OH GOD DAMN YOU ZANTHIA! Just for that, you get to drink reptile tears!

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Figures. I bet you're starving, though, thanks to your mushie-induced munchies.

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Oh jeez, she tried to eat a bag of manure. It's only gonna go downhill from here, folks...

Sky Render
03-21-2009, 06:54 PM
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Ugh, are you done gorging yourself? Are you going to have dessert now, too?

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Damn it, stop with the non-sequiturs.

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Okay, so no dessert for you, then.

Well, this is just great. Zanthia's gotten herself high AGAIN. And worse, she has access to an infinitely respawning supply of both magic mushies AND food. This is going to take some divine intervention, folks. Or possibly drug intervention. Once we've got her detoxed, we'll come back next time to finish up the Rainbow Room, and the game.

Sky Render
03-25-2009, 06:14 PM
Part 20 - Gotta Hand it to Her!

Previously on Hand of Fate: Zanthia reached the Rainbow Room after many trials and tribulations (as well as a bit of missed-out-on hot Yeti lovin'), and finally came off her mushroom-induced high. Only to eat another mushroom and stuff herself silly with food in the Rainbow Room. But we've got her all detoxed now, so let's drop in and see what she's up to.

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Oh, it's the Tinker's bell. Let's see who we're sending greetings out to.

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Presumably this is Maria del Mar Legg she's referring to, one of the many Hand voice actors/actresses. Funny they didn't make her the voice actress for the foot, with a name like that.

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Who?

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_20_4.png

Again, who?

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Must be friends and/or family of the developers...

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THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!

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A few more unknowns...

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Ty Coon? Wow, clever parents that guy had.

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He's just Lyle, man.

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Not to be mistaken with Simulated Bill.

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Can't crutch this, na na na na NA NA!

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And their other forum buddies, Sephiroth174, KoolKatz6, and paintcanlol.

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They're very happy people.

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We couldn't afford barbarians at the gate, see.

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Unfortunately, he won't be available to receive his greetings for another month or two.

Sky Render
03-25-2009, 06:16 PM
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Because the 3 other Lands of Lore references just weren't enough. Well, that's enough of that tut, let's get to examining unique items to the Rainbow Room.

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Answer: as a dummied item in the first Kyrandia!

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This message brought to you by Mooch the Cat.

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Crystal seeds? Would they sprout emeralds and amethysts and peridots and rubies? (Hey, you could make a children's song out of that!)

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Zanthia is Alex DeLarge in A Clockwork Orange, a film by Stanley Kubrick.

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And not a match in sight, either. Pity.

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Oh Zanthia, didn't they teach you any clever mnemonics in school?

(Incidentally, I have a friend who did not know until about a year ago that this acronym was a mnemonic for the colors of the rainbow, mostly because he somehow did not know the order of the colors of the rainbow. How does one ever get out of grade school, let alone high school, without being taught that at some point?)

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I don't think you need to worry; Kyrandians seem to have remarkable resilience to massive damage. No giant enemy crab genes in your lot.

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She's only just realized this?

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Don't I wish... Also, nice typo on "really" there. Anyway, time to make the potions, including...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_20_28.png

Snowman potion! So, let's fill the vials and... wait, how about a bit of confetti to celebrate before we finish up?

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Aww yeah, breakin' the rules, breaking the rules! Can't stop be, bizzatches, 'cause I'm on fiiiyah!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_20_30.png

What!? OMG HAX NO WAI! Load! (Yes, it actually does punish you if you have the gall to blow the whistle while there's liquid in the machine.)

Now that's odd. Zanthia just got a package from the enigmatic Arthur C. Money. What could be inside?

Sky Render
03-25-2009, 06:17 PM
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_20_31.png

SEKRIT POSHUN! The legends were true...

A little background info: nobody knew this item even existed until RAM editors were used to add it to the inventory, and nobody knows even today how you make one. But it's obvious that it's supposed to be available for making, because:

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_20_32.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_20_33.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_20_34.png
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It has a full descriptive dialogue box, a special bonus, AND it plays a completely unique song when you use it. The keyboard feature is pretty cool: the alphanumeric keys play sound effects when you hit them, and pretty much every sound in the game can be played. I hopefully await the day when somebody figures out the proper combo of items to make this potion. So anyway...

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_20_36.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_20_37.png

More non-sequiturs from Zanthia. Or unnecessary hints on the next puzzle. Whichever.

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I'd even call it prismatic.

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Looks like Zanthia finally noticed that most of this game's puzzles involve being sidetracked or disadvantaged somehow.

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Whoa holy shit, I totally DID say that last time! I swear, this game is reading my LP as I write it.

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Ohh, ohh, I know this one! First you combine the hairpin with the key to make a little roasting fork, then you use the piece of mutton on it to make a kebab, then you tempt the wild jaguar with the kebab to get access to the... Huh? Oh, you just use an icicle? Sorry, must've been thinking of a Sierra adventure game.

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_20_42.png

Alright, Hand... let's dance!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_20_43.png

You mean the kind that tears off a strip of skin with it when you pull it off and bleeds all over? Damn do I hate those!

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ZANTHIA ANGRY! ZANTHIA SMASH!

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Oh no, not another fetish. Please, Zanthia, you have enough of them as it is...

Sky Render
03-25-2009, 06:18 PM
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It'd be kinda funny if she were. It'd mean no more Brandon, so I could live with that.

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No kidding. In fact, at that elevation, Zanthia should be having more than a little trouble breathing...

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Be a little more creative, Zanthia! That cloud's clearly shaped like a one-eyed trouser snake!

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After what you did on Volcania? I'm keeping you as far as possible from those wheels as is physically possible. Which is still way too close for comfort, since you have to fix them.

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Man, that'd really put Superman in his place, wouldn't it? Who needs to spin the entire planet backwards to reverse time inexplicably, when you can spin mystic wheels back and do the same thing?

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So this must be Giant Gears by Vladimir Lenin.

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What IS that thing, anyway? It's not a light, and it sure as hell isn't a mirror. The world may never know.

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Geez, I hope not. That'd mean Scrooge McDuck was nearby, too.

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Neither. It's a brass sculpture. A-duh.

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Good guess, but it's actually Grandpa Gearbox.

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Man why's everything always the Hand's fault huh? It could've been the mechanics who bent it out of shape! Maybe!

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HaHA, take that, mysterious yellow... thingy!

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So why's the other one gold? Answer: FOR THE SAKE OF THE PUZZLES!

Sky Render
03-25-2009, 06:20 PM
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Are you playing Marco Polo with the Kyrandia wheels? Might I suggest Marko Polo instead?

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No, that would be an incredibly lame and overdone cop-out.

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I think you might want to swear off of the Ceremortis Kyrandis mushrooms first.

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Nice list of credentials, but we all know the sign is the only reason you found this room.

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I think that one's Miltonia's, actually. Give it a kick, Zanthia, for me!

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This one... kinda looks like Volcania, actually. Why would Volcania have its own machine? Ah, who cares, kick it too. Damned scam artist merchants.

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Didn't you know? They're on display at the public hall of records, Enchanted Forest Division. It's right next to the Squirrel Union Hall.

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Yet, anyway. Hehehehe...

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http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_20_71.png

Actually, I think Kyrandia's machine is out of blinker light fluid.

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What kind of factory makes worlds? Besides the one run by Origin Systems, of course.

Sky Render
03-25-2009, 06:21 PM
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Man Zanthia can't you read? This is clearly the Inverted Towers of Anoi, not the Mechanic's Room.

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Only inverted, obviously. So, got any names for those three stooges on the walls?

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So... the three stooges on the wall are the Three Stooges. That's... uncreative. (She actually does Curly's "woo-woo-woo-woo-woo" line when she says that last one, too. Unsubtle.)

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Yeah, because it's not. Pay attention, Zanthia, we covered this 5 images ago!

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Especially for world-controlling gearboxes. They've had spare gears on backorder for the last 15 centuries.

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Did you try looking IN YOUR PANTS? 'Cause there's totally a gear in your back pocket.

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Um, Zanthia, that's not going to work. You're not Supergirl.

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Yeah, no crap.

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Man quit dissing Bal Rom's left hand. It's your fault the gear's not all the way on, not the Hand's. And the guy's got a hard job, okay? You'd be pretty ticked if you didn't know what your mirror-image counterpart was doing, too.

(Actually, I suspect this is leftover dialogue from an earlier build where the gear was already in place, and you just had to use the stick on it. They likely added the Inverted Towers of Anoi later to extend this area from a 5-minute sequence to a 15-minute sequence. Thanks, developers.)

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In lieu of an epic last boss fight, we've instead opted for a comedy option ending. Oh Hand, you silly goof! You should've watched your step around that railing with such a slippery floor! Oh well, guess you can think on it in your next life! Onto the credits!

Sky Render
03-25-2009, 06:22 PM
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Fables and Fiends Book 2: The Hand of Fate was filmed in front of a live studio audience.

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Special considerations provided by:
Timbermist Casual Footwear, Inc.
"I liked the company so much, I bought it!" - Brandon Kyrandia, CEO

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And by:
Malcolm the Jester's Toy Factory
"Putting the 'laughter' back into 'manslaughter'!"

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And by:
Dharm's Scrolls and Things
"Now with 20% fewer misspelled words!"

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And by:
Kallak's Detox Clinic
"Because nobody knows more about getting stoned than Kallak!"

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_20_92.png

And by:
Brynn's "Special" Temple Services
"If you don't ask, we promise we won't tell..."

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_20_93.png

And by:
Zanthia's Potion Palace
"From Aardvark Solutions to Xylophone Spells, we have it all! Ask about our Portal Potion special!"

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_20_94.png

And by:
The Royal Mystics Academy
"Making self-righteous incompetents out of men and women for 500 years and counting!"

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_20_95.png

And by:
Farmer Greenberry's Mustard Plantation
"Just because it's got no mustard in doesn't mean it's not mustard!"

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_20_96.png

Copyright MCMXCIV Westwood Studios
All rights reserved
Let's Play Kyrandia Book 2: The Hand of Fate! by Sky Render

Kyrandia will return in...
Fables and Fiends Book 3: Malcolm's Revenge

Lucas
03-25-2009, 06:42 PM
Damn, that was a hell of a ride. Congrats on finishing another LP.

Dart Zaidyer
03-25-2009, 07:15 PM
Hooray we're done!
Does the secret potion have a voice-over from Zanthia? And what about the items that only appear in the Rainbow room, don't they have dialog events for outside of that room? You never showed that!

Sky Render
03-25-2009, 08:37 PM
Hooray we're done!
Does the secret potion have a voice-over from Zanthia? And what about the items that only appear in the Rainbow room, don't they have dialog events for outside of that room? You never showed that!

Yeah, Zanthia does actually say those words out loud. As for your second question, there is still one last part coming, don't forget...

Sky Render
03-25-2009, 09:05 PM
Part 21 - Bonus Content

Once again, I bring you extra content! Just like last time, we'll be looking at some things that got dummied, learn a few fun facts about the game, and see the grisly details of how you can do Zanthia in. Come on, it'll be fun!

Arthur C. Money's Item Exposition Center

Unlike the first Kyrandia game, there aren't any genuinely dummied items. There are items that you can never obtain, but this is because they are animation-centric items, like the inverted flask and the frames of animation for various potions. Here's what happens if you use one on Zanthia:

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_21_1.png

The voice acting says "I don't feel so good..." when you do this, which is funny, because they didn't have to tie any voice acting to these objects at all.

Oh, but there are a few secret item descriptions! A few of the items you can only find in the Rainbow Room have alternate text outside of it, in spite of the impossibility of bringing them outside. To wit:

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_21_2.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_21_3.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_21_4.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_21_5.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_21_6.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_21_7.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_21_8.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_21_9.png

They even recorded voice-overs for these lines! Why? Only the game's makers know for sure...


Fun Facts about Hand of Fate:

* When the game was first released, it was titled Fables & Fiends: Hand of Fate. Like the first game got its Book 1 designation after Book 2 came out, Hand of Fate got the Book 2 designation shortly after its first printing. I actually have a first-run copy of the game which does not possess the Book 2 label on it anywhere. It is also, by a very odd twist of fate, a European release of the game; yay for no region locks on PC games!

* This game and the third Kyrandia game, Malcolm's Revenge, came out in the same year. It's been speculated that the two probably were developed in tandem by two different teams. The fact that the third game retains much of the interface of the first, while the second game is much more user-friendly, certainly seems to give credence this theory.

* Westwood Studios was a very obscure company when this game came out, meaning the game got a fairly short run overall and is a bit rare. However, Westwood gained a lot of recognition just one year later when they released Command & Conquer in 1995. Even with that distinction, they still remained mostly niche, and the company name and assets were liquidated by Electronic Arts in 2003 (EA acquired Westwood in 1998).

* Hand of Fate was one of the first PC games I ever bought with my own money, though my father was still the one who did the ordering. I was insanely excited about playing it, having actually enjoyed the first game quite a bit in spite of and possibly because of its design flaws. I still feel it was worth every penny.


Ways to Die in Hand of Fate:
* Walk across the quicksand without dropping the tree (pulled under, suffocated)
* Check the alligator (eaten alive)
* Check the electricity (electrocuted)
* Try to swing across without the stick (death by jagged rocks, presumably)
* Eat too much taffy and drink too much root beer (puke to death)
* Let the natives eat you on Mustard Island (boiled alive)
* Stand on lava for too long (burned alive)
* Ride on the T-rex without bait (squished flat)
* Use the red scrap on the triceratops in the wrong spot (tossed into a chasm)
* Mis-act during the fight with the hand (lots of ways: squeezed apart, tossed into the distance, and squished flat)

At least Zanthia has a wide array of deaths, unlike Brandon's constant issues with being consumed by Kyrandia's various fauna.


And for one last bit of fun, something (probably) only possible with a European release of the game: Zanthia speaking in tongues!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_21_10.png
http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_21_11.png

Marvelous. Well, that wraps it up for Hand of Fate! Next up will be the third and final Kyrandia game, Malcolm's Revenge. When will it happen? I have no idea, but keep your eyes open for it!

http://www.skyrender.net/lp/hof_bye.png

PapillonReel
03-25-2009, 09:39 PM
Wow, that was one heck of an LP, Sky Render. Congratulations on a job well done. :)

I didn't know about ROY G. BIV either... :(

Sky Render
03-25-2009, 09:44 PM
I hope everybody enjoyed it! I think this LP encompasses about 80% of the entire text in the game, which is pretty close to unheard-of for an LP. But there was just that much worth including! Also, I rather enjoyed making that last image. I've been wanting to make something like that for a long time.

Bongo Bill
03-26-2009, 03:12 AM
That was excellent.