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shivam
01-12-2010, 09:01 PM
I love this thing-
http://jamesoff.net/site/fun/random-recipe-generator/

Violentvixen
01-12-2010, 09:45 PM
White Wine Vinegar Surprise
Serves 3
You will need:

* 100g raisins
* 20ml white wine vinegar
* 20ml white wine
* 3 chillis

Instructions:

1. pre-heat the oven to 220 C
2. slice the chillis
3. stir-fry the white wine
4. sift the white wine vinegar
5. fry the white wine vinegar
6. simmer the chillis gently for 20 minutes
7. put the raisins in the saucepan
8. bake for 50 minutes and serve hot

Comb Stranger
01-12-2010, 09:50 PM
Horseradish Sauce Sandwich
Serves 1
You will need:

* 40ml horseradish sauce
* 60g sugar
* 1 red onions

Instructions:

1. pre-heat the oven to 200 C
2. eat the sugar
3. defrost the horseradish sauce
4. flip the horseradish sauce
5. sift the red onions
6. bake for 60 minutes and serve hot

ThornGhost
01-13-2010, 11:20 AM
These recipes sound like they were created by Dwarf Fortress.

spineshark
01-13-2010, 11:26 AM
This is just the sort of absurd, surreal and random humor that I completely adore. Anything with "pinches of salt" or "Packets of dry onion soup mix" in the title is solid gold.

Pinches Of Salt Mini Roasties
Serves 4
You will need:

* 3 red onions
* 140g bacon
* 140ml soy sauce
* 50ml soy sauce
* 3 pinches of salt

Instructions:

1. pre-heat the oven to 230 C
2. slice the bacon
3. toast the soy sauce
4. add the bacon to the saucepan
5. sift the soy sauce
6. toast the red onions
7. lightly fry the soy sauce
8. sauté the pinches of salt
9. bake for 60 minutes and serve hot

Yum.

The comments have some amazing ones too, like the one where you "grind the water" and "sift the lard," and "Pizza-style water" which is worth it just for the title.

Pseudonym
01-13-2010, 12:32 PM
Pizza Style Red Onions
Serves 5
You will need:

* 90g mince
* 5 red onions
* 150ml horseradish sauce

Instructions:

1. pre-heat the oven to 220 C
2. sift the mince
3. discard the horseradish sauce
4. put the mince in the fridge for 2 minutes
5. simmer the mince gently for 20 minutes
6. microwave the red onions
7. bake for 70 minutes and serve hot

I love that the only thing you do with the horseradish is throw it away.

Sven
01-13-2010, 01:02 PM
2. sift the mince

That sounds like British Rhyming Slang.

Mazian
01-13-2010, 01:05 PM
First one I loaded up told me to both "defrost the water" and "eat the whipped cream."

Can do.

pence
01-13-2010, 01:19 PM
Lemons With Lemons Mash
Serves 1
You will need:

* 100ml apple sauce
* 70ml white wine
* 2 cabbages
* 1 lemons

Instructions:

1. pre-heat the oven to 230 C
2. barbeque the white wine
3. grill the apple sauce
4. fry the lemons until browned
5. whisk the cabbages
6. bake for 20 minutes and serve hot

other highlights:
"slice the vinegar"
"melt the rice"
"grind the brandy"

Alixsar
01-13-2010, 05:07 PM
Serves 1
You will need:

* 150ml lemon juice
* 3 green peppers
* 110ml brandy
* 120g grapes

Instructions:

1. pre-heat the oven to 220 C
2. toast the brandy
3. grill the lemon juice
4. grill the green peppers
5. rinse the grapes
6. bake for 20 minutes and serve hot


Serves 2
You will need:

* 80g strawberries
* 130ml brandy
* 60ml soy sauce

Instructions:

1. stir-fry the brandy
2. fry the strawberries until browned
3. put the strawberries in the fridge to set
4. flambe the brandy
5. barbeque the soy sauce
6. enjoy

Fucking strawberries, brandy, and soy sauce. I think my favorite thing is that you flambe the brandy. I also like that in the first one, one of the last steps is to "rinse the grapes" and then you don't do anything with them.

SilentSnake
01-13-2010, 05:13 PM
Apples Crumble
Serves 4
You will need:

* 5 leeks
* 1 sausages
* 3 apples

Instructions:

1. pre-heat the oven to 210 C
2. throw the apples away
3. eat the leeks
4. grill the sausages
5. bake for 40 minutes and serve hot

Yum.

Let's recap.

Apples Crumble

2. throw the apples away

Epithet
01-16-2010, 06:19 PM
I love that the only thing you do with the horseradish is throw it away.

I had one that was "made" with anchovies, white wine, and rice paper. The first step was "discard the anchovies."

ChefCthulhu
01-16-2010, 06:22 PM
I has.....

Water Pie

Serves 5

You will need:
110ml cream
90g self-raising flour
60ml water
100ml greek yogurt

Instructions:
fry the cream
discard the cream
throw the greek yogurt away
rinse the self-raising flour
whisk the self-raising flour
sift the water
put everything in the blender

rkdn42
01-17-2010, 04:16 AM
Cloves Of Garlic With Cloves Of Garlic Mash
Serves 5
You will need:

* 1 cloves of garlic
* 40g sprouts
* 5 lemons

Instructions:

1. pre-heat the oven to 180 C
2. whisk the lemons
3. throw the lemons away
4. stir-fry the cloves of garlic
5. grind the cloves of garlic
6. toast the sprouts
7. bake for 40 minutes and serve hot

Needs more garlic...