Use the Foreign Object: Let's Play Muscle Bomber Duo!

Hey, everyone! It's a new year and a new LP! It's time to for El Stingray to put more gold around his waist as he grabs a partner and tries to win the Heat Up Scramble for the CWA World Tag Team Titles!

So, first things first... who will be his partner? I'm thinking probably Haggar, but we have more choices this time, but before we get to that, a little history. Muscle Bomber Duo: Ultimate Team Battle was released by Capcom in the arcades in 1993, the same year as Slammasters. It is Street Fighter II Championship Edition to Slammasters' Street Fighter II. You can now play as the bosses, you have more moves and the gameplay is smoother. The biggest and most important improvement is that the attack button and the grapple button are no longer the same button, making the game much easier to control, and resulting in many fewer accidental attacks.

This game was arcade only, and a four player cabinet, so the option for a single player game no longer exists, therefore all matches are tag matches. This means two things, 1) the matches are more chaotic and 2) you can't leave the ring, so I hope you got your fill of outside the ring action.

Ok, so... partners. Let's reintroduce our characters for those who may be just joining us now.

The Hyper Cannons: Biff and Gunloc


The Ryu and Ken of this series, they have very similar movesets, though apparently Gunloc's finisher is the Sonic Fist while Biff's is the Head Rocker, though they can both do both moves. Trained by Mike Haggar, either is a fine tag partner for El Stingray.

The Exotic Warriors: Oni and King Rasta


The bastard offspring of Blanka and Bruiser Brody teams up with the bastard offspring of The Great Kabuki and the Great Muta. In this game, matches with Rasta feature his monkey hanging out on the lower turnbuckle, which the home versions lacked.

The Deadly Brothers


Here we have our stalwart hero, El Stingray and his canon tag team partner, Titanic Tim, who according to the story of the game, was also once tag partners with Birdie from Street Fighter. This is obviously the official tag team, but I doubt you guys will vote for Tim.

Knuckle Busters


Based on my last LP, I'm going to go ahead and guess that Mike Haggar gets the vote here. Maybe that death match led these men to a newfound respect for each other. Or maybe you'll want to see the Vader-inspired Alexander the Grater team up with our luchador hero.

The Silent Assassins


The bosses from the first game, and BWA invaders. Could we see a team of masked men, ala the Conquistadors or the Machines? Could we see the smallest man in the game team with the biggest?

So that's it. The poll's open through Wednesday, so cast your vote, and we'll start to play Muscle Bomber Duo!

Also, anyone curious, I cleared this LP with Papillon Reel back in October, but asked him not to make it public, so as to surprise all the people who were following my last LP.

Great Oni or Scorpion. The mask is power!

I would emplore you to vote in the poll if you want there to be any chance of it being someone besides Haggar. El Stingray only narrowly beat Haggar out in the first LP, and since he's already a lock, I'd say Haggar's got a very good chance of being his partner, so anyone who doesn't want to see Haggar would do well to vote in the poll.

tl;dr I'm not counting votes in posts, PLEASE USE THE POLL!

...there's a poll? Oh shit, there is! Stupid forum software always skipping to the post and not showing polls.

I voted for Haggar because he's the most awesome Mayor of all time

I voted for RASTA MON but it's pretty obvious Haggar's gonna win.

I voted for Titanic Tim because it's (just past) Christmas.

- Eddie

The bad blood between Haggar and Stinger filled the seats last time, but it's really a shame in retrospect. Now that they've done some growing, I want to see them take on all comers as a joint force of destruction.

The Scorpion is the correct answer. Looks like I should have thrown my support to Rasta Mon instead, though, if'n I wanted to stand a chance of breaking Maurauderin' Mike's chokehold on the poll.

Haven't you people learned that the answer is always Biff Slamkovich?

What? When he's got a clone named Gunloc? GUNLOC?!

Jeremy, you and I are obviously very different people.

Stingray and Haggar, naturally. They need to team up like Santo and Blue Demon. And fight Frankenstein.

YES! Don't forget Dracula and the Wolfman!

Oh, I didn't even realize there was a new thread. Kept checking the other one with a "huh?" expression after Shake told me to vote.

I just thought Slam Masters had a tag-team mode. :P

I want to say "whoever most closely resembles Edge," after seeing he and Rey team on Friday night, but I may go for either Haggar or Scorpion... tough choice.

I'll come back to this.

I am a sucker for tradition, and Titanic Tim has been overshadowed by his former tag team partner long enough. BRING ON THE DEADLY BROTHERS!

HIS NAME IS BIFF SLAMKOVICH

why is this so hard to understand

It says he's from Kiev, Russia. As a man of Ukrainian descent, I cannot abide this.

Gunloc, on the other hand, is from SLAM TOWN, USA. How badass is that? I think that's where Hard Knocks University is located.

In the Japanese games, they're from Moscow and Miami Beach, respectively.

I only point this out because opportunities to employ my obscure Muscle Bomber knowledge are about as rare as you'd expect.

I'm very tempted to say Titanic Tim, since he seems like a cross between The Big Show and Wade Barrett.

I've cast my token vote for The Great Oni. Multicultural synergy! Masks (or at least facepaint?)! Vaguely horn-shaped decorations and actual horns!

I'm glad to have given you a forum in which to use it!

Crap, I forgot to come by and vote.

I wanted to book by the seat of my pants, like the WWE, but instead I just screwed everything up, like TNA.

Oh well, I'm happy with the results, anyway. If I didn't vote Haggar, no one else I was going to vote for would have even come close.

Well... Haggar was officially announced for Marvel vs. Capcom 3 today, so I suppose this is only fitting. Come back on Saturday Night for the first round of the Heat Up Scramble Tag Title Tournament on CWA Crash Carnival!

Alright, let's get this started! So, this is an arcade game, so when we start it up we get...



Ok, right.



Yep, ok, real good, then.




YEAH!!! So, that's Victor Ortega again, but he's still not in this game. Yeah. I don't really get it, either. Let's drop some quarters in this.



I'll be flying solo, so no other coins get dropped in. I also won't need all those credits, but it's not like this is real money, it's the number of times I hit the 5 key.



Well, there's our team, which is what I predicted. The colors of the characters in this game are determined by which player you are, so it'll be Stingray in red, and Haggar in blue. Opponents will be yellow and green in every match.

Before we start in earnest, a couple more things. 1) Since these are tornado tag matches, they are much more hectic, so capturing all the action is tough, especially since I'm pretty well hammering constantly on the screencap button as-is. 2) I only control Stingray, so I can't guarantee that you'll see all Haggar has to offer during this LP.

And with that, I turn it over to Simian Rainstorm!



Simian: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to CWA Crash Carnival! We are coming to you live from the Los Angeles Memorial Sports Coliseum tonight for the first round in the Heat Up Scramble Tag Team Title Tournament, and it is a happening! In a shocking turn of events, following their brutal match in Philadelphia, Mike Haggar and the CWA Champion El Stingray have formed an alliance, promising to win this tournament. These events occurred a few weeks ago at the Rosemont Horizon in suburban Chicago, let's take a look.

THREE WEEKS AGO, CHICAGO


Haggar: As you people probably know, I had a brutal, knock-down, drag-out match with El Stingray in Philadelphia at the BWA Arena.

Crowd: BOOOOOOOO!!!

Haggar: I know, I know. Just hear me out. I came up short in that match, but I realized something. I realized that first of all, El Stingray is a hell of a competator, and despite his size, he's a ring general, who has earned everything he has.

Crowd: YAYYYYYYY!!!!

Haggar: It took him beating me that badly to realize it, but I'm out here for one reason and one reason only: to tell him he's the better man, and to ask him to be my partner in the Heat Up Scramble Tournament!

Crowd: YAYYYYYYYY!!!!!



El Stingray: Mike Haggar, I have always respected you as an athlete, even if you were making bad decisions, and while I won that barbed wire match in Philly, you gave me a run for my money. Still, you put me through hell, bringing the BWA back in to try and take my title. I've got half a mind to give you an Atomic Diver right now, and leave you laying in this ring.

Crowd: YAYYYYYYY!!!!

El Stingray: Hold up, hold up. But I'm not going to do that. Because I still respect you and I know that with you as my partner, NO ONE CAN STOP US FROM WEARING THE TAG TITLES! I ACCEPT!

Crowd: YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!

Simian: That was three weeks ago, and tonight, they make their debut as a team! I am joined at this time by my broadcast collegue, Robby "The Noggin" Heehaw, what do you make of it?

Robby: I can't believe Haggar would turn his back on me like that. After all I did for him.

Simian: Be serious!

Robby: What?

Simian: It's time for the main event!



Robby: Whether I like them or not, all four of these men are tremendous athletes, and this match is gonna be a doozy!

Simian: Absolutely, Noggin. Let's go down to ring announcer Harold Stinkel for our ring introductions!

Everyone in this game runs to the ring like the goddamn Ultimate Warrior. Gone are the cool individual ring entrances, sadly.

Harold: Ladies and gentlemen... the following contest is the first match in the Heat Up Scramble Tag Team Title Tournament! It is scheduled for the best 2 out of 3 falls! Coming down the aisle, weighing in at a combined weight of 471 pounds, the team of CWA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION EL STINGRAY & MIKE HAGGAR!!!!

Crowd: YAYYYYYY!!!!



Harold: And their opponents, weighing in at a total combined weight of 540 pounds, Biff and Gunloc... THE HYPER CANNONS!!!

Crowd: YAYYY!!!



Simian: The bell is gone and this one is under way!



Simian: And a hard right hand from Haggar knocks the Rockin' Ruskie down right away, and it could be a set up...



Simian: And indeed it was! A huge Jalapeno Comet catches Biff as he gets back to his feet! Brilliant tandem work from these men right out of the gate!

Robby: Or maybe it was just a happy accident. These men have been opponents many times, but not partners. Biff and Gunloc, they trained together--

Simian: Under Haggar.

Robby: I know that! Will you let me finish?

Simian: Sure.

Robby: They trained together, they do everything together. They are the team to beat here.

Simian: But they're in the ring with their old teacher. He may have taught them everything they know, but did he teach them everything HE knows?



Simian: Gunloc looking tentative here... And El Stingray lands a big right hand to the back of Biff, knocking him into Gunloc!

Simian: Biff goes down, and now it looks like these men have paired off. El Stingray is face to face with the larger Gunloc, while Haggar is staring down his former Russian student!



Simian: A well-placed kick from the Champ puts Gunloc down, and now Haggar has a distracted Biff from behind!

Robby: See? What a coward, attacking his former student from behind like that!

Simian: Will you stop!



Simian: And now Haggar with those huge headbutts from behind! Shades of the late, great Andre the Giant!

Robby: And the champion has Gunloc set up for a big butterfly suplex!



Simian: And Haggar misses short with a backfist! And look at the agility of El Stingray as he tries for a standing shooting star press, but misses!



Simian: And a beer bottle comes flying in from the crowd and hits the champ in the head! The first time the champ has been hit in this match, and it isn't even by one of his opponents! He shakes it off and puts a kick in the breadbasket of Gunloc!

Robby: And look at Biff, backing away from Haggar, but he can't escape the big man!

Simian: SPINNING INVERTED PILEDRIVER!!!



Simian: WHAT IMPACT!!! That's going to put some pressure on the vertibrae of Biff, not to mention the cranium!



Robby: This is bad for the Hyper Cannons. They need some offense, Simian.

Simian: Indeed they do. Stinger goes for a Jalapeno Comet on Gunloc, but miscalculates the distance. Gunloc on dream street here as Biff takes a shot to the solar plexus from Haggar!



Robby: You see what this man is driven to? Biff is kicking the turnbuckle out of frustration.

Simian: Not terribly effective, if you ask me. And the champ with a big time vertical suplex!



Simian: Going for a pin, now!

Noggin: Not like that, no sir. It'll take more than that to put Gunloc down.

Simian: And Haggar tied up with Slamkovich. He's rearing back...

Simian: Gunloc with a stomp, but Stingray responds with a unique leg sweep manuever*!

Robby: And look at Slamkovich, nimbly avoiding another big punch from Haggar!

*In this game, each character got two new moves. On is a multidirectional attack to prevent double-teaming. Done by hitting attack and jump at the same time, this is Stingray's.



Simian: And a hard left hand from the champion! Now all four men jockeying for position...



Simian: And a huge blow from Biff takes Haggar off his feet for the first time this match!

Robby: And look at that straight kick* from Stingray. That might be a low blow!

Simian: It is not and you know it.

*This is the other half of Stingray's two way attack.



Simian: Gunloc and El Stingray trading blows as Haggar has Slamkovich cinched up for a big piledriver!



Simian: What impact! No spin on that piledriver, but a tough bump to take nonetheless.

Robby: You bet it is. And Gunloc's looking upset, what's he got in mind?

Simian: Looking for a big time spinning kick, and El Stingray looked to answer with one of his own, but both come up short. And Gunloc takes a right hand from Haggar for his trouble!



Simian: Biff and Haggar now both going for kicks, without success.

Robby: And you see how the champion is using that kick combo to get him some egress. Smart wrestling. And Haggar slugging Gunloc in the gut is smart wrestling, too.



Simian: And again, something of a stalemate. Now Haggar's got his hands on Gunloc!



Simian: What a backdrop! Gunloc landing on that external occipital protuberance!

Robby: But Stinger's not to be outdone!



Simian: And the champ with a German suplex! Now stomping away!