Let's play Final Fantasy IV: Unprecedented Crisis!

[GoggleBob]

Hi, my name is Goggle Bob and I write fanfic as easily as I breathe.

Clearly, in the original story, the shipwreck of Cecil was news that reached Baron almost immediately. Cid was concerned for his old friend, and shelved any thoughts of deposing the king in favor of working on a new airship with which he could find the lost Cecil. Baigan heard the same news, and decided that, in the absence of Cecil, there was no hope for the kingdom changing course, so may as well join the bad guys. A certain doctor likely made a house call to help Baigan upgrade to the winning team.

And now you know... the rest of the story.

(Also loving the LP)

[Loki]

I was hoping Baigan would join the party.

[aturtledoesbite]

Originally Posted by dosboot

Would you recommend this hack to others? If someone were to start playing along ahead of your LP, what are the things that are worth knowing beforehand?

Absolutely.

As for things to know beforehand...honestly, there's nothing that a working knowledge of FF4 won't get you through. The Training Room in Baron has been modified to talk about this hack's changes (I'll probably make a bonus update today or tomorrow to show off what it says).

Originally Posted by Beowulf

(Also, I've played pretty much every version of this game, many of them multiple times, since it first came out. How is this the first time I've ever heard of the Mist skip?)

According to the readme, the Mist Skip punishment was added in version 2.0; the version I have here is 3.1. I'd be interested to hear about any parts that got reworked as we get to them.

(also gogglebob's explanation makes perfect sense and is my headcanon now)

[Solitayre]

Originally Posted by Loki

I was hoping Baigan would join the party.

At least they're letting Baigans be Baigans.

[aturtledoesbite]

...I think that's the first time I've ever considered the possibility that the first syllable in his name is 'by' and not 'bay'.

I need to sit down a moment.

[Solitayre]

Man the new dialogue portions definitely stand out as being a lot wordier than the original. FF4's text limitations left very little room for the kind of indulgence this guy took.

[aturtledoesbite]

Chapter 4: How Deep Are We Talking, Exactly?

Where we last left off, we revealed that the King of Baron was being impersonated by a big blue turtle, who we summarily defeated. Now, we're off to Toroia!

But first...



Let's go check out the east tower basement, which is now unsealed.

There's a throne all set up down here, and when we approach...

Cecil: Your Majesty!?

*an image of the King appears on the throne*

King of Baron: Go to the
land of summoned monsters
and return here.
I shall be of help.

*the King disappears*

Mysterious...and also entirely unchanged. Oh well. To Mist!

Mist Cave goes by as quickly as you'd exp--



--wait you're new.

Ahem. Mist Cave has tougher monsters now, and its chests have been refilled with new items. It's still not really noteworthy, and there's no second D. Mist or anything. There's a Battle Axe which is just as strong as Cid's Wooden Hammer, but one-handed, so he can equip the Mythril Shield on top...or I can give him a Gold Shield that we find moments later.

Making it outside, we enter Mist. There are no strange voices or sudden teleportations to worry about now, so we can loot to our hearts' content. Rydia's house has some good equipment for her, most of which you can also buy in the shops, for Yang and Edward.

Once we're done, we make our way to the east side of Mist.



It has a new exit, to the north. Going up, we find ourselves in...



Holy foreground layer, Batman! It's the Misty Mountains! (Okay, the foreground mist isn't that bad.) To JBear's undoubted disappointment, there's no new tileset here; the mist effect is copied from Mist Cave, and the ground tiles are either cave tiles or mountain tiles. The mountain theme is playing here, too. But it is a new dungeon.



Enemies here come from the original game's Cave Magnes. (I didn't show it earlier, but Mist Cave has Zoidbergs Piscos now.) This may surprise you, but they're much less painful when you can use metal.



Edward also gets a brand-new harp here, the Fairy Harp. It's especially effective against the above-pictured Ogres and has a chance of inflicting Blind on-hit, not to mention just generally being stronger than the Lamia Harp he's been using. How effective am I talking?



That'll do. (The frontliners are averaging around 200 damage a hit against Ogres.)



hi, yes, this will do nicely

(It was a Tent and two Potions, though; such hopes to be dashed...)

The dungeon gives me a save point, so I use a Tent before continuing on...



...to this totally-normal bridge. To everybody's complete surprise, when we approach the bridge...!

Yang: Watch out!
I sense something evil!

I'm glad... glad indeed...
to slay you all...

Cecil: Who is it?

A hooded being appears! Scarmiglione, Fiend of Earth!



Fortunately, Cecil still has the Coral Sword on, so he'll be able to do reasonable damage to the Ghasts. Rydia wasn't a high enough level to learn Ifrit (she gets him at 20, and she's 18 here), which is unfortunate, but it's fine. Ramuh works well enough here, though Shiva wouldn't scratch them.

Scarmiglione, for his part, counters attacks with Calcify, which inflicts Gradual Petrification. Four of those and the target's out of the fight...until I use a Remedy, anyway. Once he's alone, he'll start using Bio on people, which *hurts*. The smart plan is to not use Ramuh, and weaken him before killing all of his Ghasts.



I...don't follow that plan here. Owwwww... Nothing for it, I guess, but to kill him fast before he can finish anyone else off.



It could have gone better. (Cecil isn't fully petrified there, he's just in the third stage of Gradual Petrify.) There's no denouement after Scarmiglione's death; he's just gone.

I'm gonna...limp back to the save point before continuing, if that's alright. On my way back, I run into a pack of zombies and it occurs that I haven't had a chance to show off Dirge Song before.



It would've wiped out the Ghasts just as well. Note that the Souls in the back are 'Spirits' and not 'Undead'; things like Dirge Song don't work on them.

[aturtledoesbite]

Getting back to the bridge Scarmiglione was guarding...



jesus christ why is it so long

As we step off, though...



Scarmiglione returns, uglier than ever! This time, his 'Fall flat into the deep ravine' quote is accompanied by Quake, which does about 100 to non-Rydias. He also uses the spells Demi and Petrify (which does not take four casts), and counters all damage with a Curse-inflicting physical. In short; he's real annoying, real fast. Your frontliners are best off using Potions, HiPotions, and Remedies as needed, while Rydia summons Ramuh or (preferably) Ifrit and Edward uses Dirge Song. He doesn't have much HP, so...



...you'll win, sooner or later. And when you do...



Fwoooooooop. Scarmiglione falls flat into the deep ravine.

Meanwhile...

The attacks were not his
fault, but a man named
Golbez!

Elder: Truly!? ...

We must investigate to
verify the truth of this.
Take a ship to Baron.

Yes, sir!

Can we come too?

such a young age. How
could I forgive myself if
something were to happen
to you?

Palom: But, Elder...

POW!

Porom: Palom, don't be so
rude! The Elder said no,
so the answer is no!

Palom: But how much can we
really learn, stuck here
in a classroom? We need
to go out now and then...

Porom: As rude as my twin
brother is he does make a [note]
good point... and this is a
diplomatic trip, correct?

How much harm can come to
us? The sailors are
experienced and the mages
will protect us... please?

*The Elder paces back and forth*

Elder: ... ...Very well, You
may go. But pay close
attention, and do exactly
as the mages tell you.

Porom: Oh yes, sir! Thank
you so much, sir!
Palom: You got it, dude!

[note] I'd argue there's supposed to be a comma in the middle of the line there, but if I'm being fair, that text box was too packed for even a single extra character. Though I'd sooner reword it myself than leaving out a comma... >_>



The Mysidian boat sets off, to Baron! En route...

It's a sea monster!

This 'sea monster' is four times the length of your ship. I advise running.

We're getting drawn in!

...Did I say 'running'? I meant 'praying'. Or Lit bolts; either one works fine.

Porom: Don't just stand
there, Palom, do
something!

Palom: What can I do!? You
think this thing can be
beaten by a simple Bolt
spell??

This game is concerningly good at anticipating my jokes.

Porom: I don't know,
you're the one always
calling himself a genius!

Palom: This really isn't
the time, sis...

Porom: I have an idea!
Hang on to me!

Porom: WARP!

They'll...probably be fine. Right?

Aaaaaaanyway. Back to Cecil and friends!



>"Do you want to do something stupid?"
>[Yes | Yes]

It spits us out riiiiiiight...here!



For those who don't intuitively know the map of FFIV, this is somewhere around the southeastern corner of the country of Toroia. Going west and a little north puts us at a Chocobo Forest.



This is good, because there's no actual way to reach Toroia from here on foot; the river is unbroken by a bridge. Chocobos can cross rivers, however, which lets us waltz up to Toroia's front door.



Just like in the original game, everybody who's anybody in Toroia is a woman. As we approach...



The Red Wings get here the same time we do! We attempt to rush inside, when...

own hands...... Now, stand
aside or be destroyed!

Cecil: No, not this time...

This madness stops here!

Cecil tries to rush Golbez and is promptly swatted away.

Golbez: Come forth, shadow
dragon!

The dragon systematically causes the screen to flash incapacitating Cid, Yang, Edward, and Rydia, while Golbez murders the two guards and walks through everyone's fallen bodies.

Originally Posted by ???

Going somewhere?

[aturtledoesbite]

Just then, Tellah appears!

Now I shall rob you of
yours!

Golbez: What?! Who is this
foolish old man...

It's a fight! Ignore the part where non-Tellahs have HP, that's very quickly fixed.

Golbez: No one can ever
defeat me... ... ...

Tellah: M... Meteo... ...
Tellah's rage unlocked
the ultimate spell... ...
Tellah: Even if it kills
me... I will destroy YOU!

Golbez: No way...!

The battle ends...

Golbez: You used...
the... Meteo...
GRRR......

Golbez: This isn't over.
Until we meet again...

Golbez teleports away, Tellah collapses, and the scene fades to black...

Next time: ???

...please look forward to it?

[Kazin]

I'm glad I saw this, I didn't know you started this LP, turtle, very well done so far! FFIV is a weird game to begin with, playing it as I did after later games in the series, so seeing this is... even weirder. I can see why you'd like this hack, though, since it gets rid of the effing WHM (which honestly would annoy me - I don't want to heal with items/staves even if I do hack myself 3 million gil).

Anyway guess I'll link this in the XIV discord since you didn't fucking do it

[Beowulf]

Originally Posted by aturtledoesbite

According to the readme, the Mist Skip punishment was added in version 2.0; the version I have here is 3.1. I'd be interested to hear about any parts that got reworked as we get to them.

I don't think I was clear--I only played one (early) version of this hack; I've played FF4 something like two dozen times.

I logged everything noteworthy I found when I played the hack in 2015; I haven't noticed any meaningful changes here from what I have logged.

[aturtledoesbite]

Originally Posted by Beowulf

I don't think I was clear--I only played one (early) version of this hack; I've played FF4 something like two dozen times.

I logged everything noteworthy I found when I played the hack in 2015; I haven't noticed any meaningful changes here from what I have logged.

I can say there are a couple of things that aren't in the version you logged.

(Also, that link has spoilers, for those of you who are concerned about that.)

EDIT: Added a link to the patch in the first post, for those of you who want to play this yourselves.

[YangusKhan]

When I got to the Misty Mountains I was all "uhhh this isn't in the original game!" and that was neat. It didn't really offend my sensibilities or anything either, I'd believe it if the regular game had that too.

[aturtledoesbite]

Yeah, the Misty Mountains are fine. What I was alluding to yesterday is that they also exist in The After Years, as part of Kain's Tale.

[Loki]

Is it the same map in TAY?

[aturtledoesbite]

Originally Posted by Loki

Is it the same map in TAY?

Not in the slightest. In TAY, too, the mountains are used as a way to get across the blocked path and to Kaipo; not Troia.

Now, if you want a map that references another FF game...well, I shouldn't spoil anything.

[Destil]

This actually looks super neat and I kinda want to play it myself, now.

Does Rosa have access to elemental arrows?

[aturtledoesbite]

Originally Posted by Destil

This actually looks super neat and I kinda want to play it myself, now.

Does Rosa have access to elemental arrows?

Eventually, yes; Wooden Arrows have +10 attack, Yoichi Arrows have +30 attack, and there are Fire, Ice, Bolt, Dark, and Holy Arrows that all have no extra attack. It works out pretty well.

[Torzelbaum]

Originally Posted by Loki

I was hoping Baigan would join the party.

Not part of the Baigan.

[aturtledoesbite]

Chapter 5: Freedom To Go Nowhere



Welcome back! Cecil wakes up in the Toroia infirmary, and after a bit of groggy muttering, manages to say something coherently.

Cecil: Where am I?

The doctor walks over.

You're in Toroia... in the
infirmary.

The Clerics that rule our
country seek an audience
with you once you feel
well enough.

Cecil: Thank you...

Not at all! Due to your
efforts, the crystal is
safe, as are our people.
It is we who thank you.

I'm kind of curious who exactly told the Clerics what happened; the guards at the gate got killed, so all they would've found is some collapsed bodies and a bunch of small craters. Oh well, minor issue. (GoggleBob, this one's all you!)

Cecil gets out of bed and takes one step before he notices the other side of the room.



We walk over to Tellah's bedside, and Edward's also there on the other side.

Cecil: You were amazing
back there!

Tellah: I was, wasn't I?

... Cough! Cough! ...

Tellah: That Meteo sure did
a number on me though...

Edward: That much magical
energy would be difficult
for anyone to control.

Tellah: I'm certain I can
handle it... once I get
better that is...

I'll learn every spell
there is, and use them to
get revenge on Golbez!

Edward: I'd like to stay
with him until he
recovers...

Cecil: Of course! Thank
you for everything,
Edward. You've been a
great help.

Cecil's talents: Lying through his teeth.

From there, we regain control. So what just happened there?

The scene from the Tower of Zot got put in front of Toroia. Tellah kind of just shows up out of nowhere; they don't really build it up nearly as well as in the original. That said, Meteo doesn't kill Tellah this time, just leaves him bedridden. It doesn't seem like he intends to stay that way, though; he's still got a revenge to carry out!

Meanwhile, Edward leaves the party here. I guess the idea is that he wants to make amends to his father-in-law (Anna was technically only his fiancee, but let's not get bogged down in the paperwork). It's a shame, too; his Life Song was the closest thing we had to a real healer (I, uh...still haven't bought any consumables with my gil >_>).

Let's go see what the Clerics want. When we walk in, they swarm me.

Cecil: I fear it may not
be for long. Golbez is
relentless. He won't stop
until he has them all.

The Clerics turn this way and that, discussing among themselves...

In that case, perhaps we
could lend the crystal to
you for safe keeping...

Cecil: That may be for the
best. Golbez is already
after us... there's no need
to endanger more lives.

I promise to return it
the moment this war is
over.

Then it's agreed. Take the
crystal and keep it away
from Golbez!

The Clerics move out of our way so we can go borrow their national treasure.

Cecil: Now we must rescue
Rosa and recover the
other crystals!

Cid: Golbez has been
operating out of a tower
called Babil. I bet he's
holding them all there.

Rydia: How do we get in?
Yang: The nation of Eblan
is near there. Perhaps
their ninjas can help us.

Cecil: Agreed. Let's go!

And now we have a destination! Going back outside, the Clerics have taken up their normal positions again; one mentions a treasure trove we can also use, so let's go there.



This line is unmodified, but I want to point it out because I always imagine it as being so flippant. Like, "sure, whatever, at least now I don't have to stand here in this musty old dungeon anymore."

Outside of the consumables, we find a Great Bow, some elemental arrows, and a pair of Shuriken. Now, I don't know about you, but when I find a treasure chest that has equipment literally only one person can use and that person isn't in my party, I expect that second part to change real soon.

Before we move on, let's go check out the town. It's mostly unchanged, except for the shops. The weapon shop now sells the elemental arrows (note, I only mean Fire/Ice/Bolt with that), the Gaia Hammer (confusing, because that chest right after Scarmiglione that I posted had one), and the Fairy Harp (WHY). The armor shop just has general stuff for Yang and Rydia that I don't bother with because like hell am I going to deal with the menus for a change of like two whole defense.

I do pick up a couple more Phoenix Feathers, Tents, and Remedies since I have literally no reason not to, though. That said, these treasure troves I've been raiding have left me with more than enough useful junk:



FireBombs, Ice-Balls and Lit-Bolts are the items you see Cecil use in the opening (well, two of them are; this hack actually references that by putting an Ice-Ball in your starting inventory, to imply he had one of each at first). They deal appropriate elemental damage to all enemies equal to about a fourth of the user's current HP. The weapon shop here sells them for 1000 gil a pop, and it occurs to me while I'm typing this that I might want a few Ice-Balls soon since Yang and Cid can put them to good use, so I pick up a few.

I don't bother with buying the Pass, which is still featured here exactly as it was in the original. Which means it's time to leave! Except...where do we go? Toroia is surrounded by ocean or mountains on all sides, and Eblan, our destination, is on an island. We have no boat or airship...but there's still one thing we can use!



Black chocobos! They can fly over the ocean, no sweat, and can land anywhere with a forest. Now, they will always go back to their home forest when you remount them, but you can just catch them again and keep flying. With this, the world is ours to explore! And you know what that means...time to go everywhere except for where we're supposed to go!

Mysidia






...never mind that. Mount Ordeals is nearby, so let's check it o--



--right. Rydia, want to use Shiva here? No? Okay then. (A degenerate player could farm the Spirits and Souls that show up on this small entrance point to get a Cursed Ring, which absorbs every element. I don't.)

Agart

Agart's still the same old dwarven-ancestry town it has been.



Though the well's not a bottomless pit. That would be silly. Sadly, examining it gives nothing at all, not even a text box saying Cecil's face is dirty.

The weapon shop has the Ashura Katana (which no one here can use), the Air Dagger (which no one here can use), and the "W. Slayer Sword"...which no one here can use. The armor shop, meanwhile, has a trimmed down list of Toroia's, as well as a Magic Glove that I think Kaipo sold, and a Wooden Shield that Cecil started the game with.

So yeah, Agart's also a bust.

Mythril

Mythril's 90% the same as before; enough so that there's nothing worth screenshotting. There's no free Mythril gear in the grass anymore, though. The weapon shop has the Blind Dagger, as well as other things we've seen before. If you lost your Healing Staff, you can pick one up here.

The armor shop has nothing but a Viking Helmet and Giant Gloves for Cecil and Cid. Unlike before, I pick these up because they give an absurd amount of status resistances. In total, the two are now immune to Blind, Pig, Frog, Mini, Charm, Sleep, and Curse. (All of these resistances together will come up exactly zero more times from here to the end of the game.)

There's not actually anywhere else that's new. Fabul is as it was when we left; the King is still wounded, and if you talk to him, he just repeats the 'unprecedented crisis' text box. Baron and Mist we were just at a bit ago. And while we could technically revisit Damcyan and Kaipo, we'd have to land on the east side of Mt. Hobs, cross it, then ride the hovercraft there...then cross Mt. Hobs again when we want to come back. I'm willing to take the gamble that there's nothing new.

Oh, I suppose there is one more place to show off...



NO REASON AT ALL. GO AWAY CAVE MAGNES.

[aturtledoesbite]

Right then. To Eblan we go!

Befitting for a kingdom of ninjas, getting there is a bit of a trick, actually.



Here's a picture of the area around Eblan. The castle is to the south, and to the east is the only forest that isn't blocked off by mountains. Notice how I say "isn't"; you might think that the part directly north of me where the water nearly touches the mountain is impassable.



It's not. So you can just walk on across and down to Eblan Castle.

It seems we're not the only ones here, however...

Rubicant: Have I met you
before?

Man: I am Eblan's Prince
Edge! I'm gonna get
revenge on you for what
you did to my parents!

Rubicant: Parents?
Whatever do you mean...?
Edge: Don't play the fool
with me!

The fight goes exactly as you're used to. The only difference...



...is that Edge uses Fire2 instead of Blaze. Huh.

Rubicant: Was it flame?
I will show you how!

and then edge gets glared at for over three times his max hp

Rubicant: Then welcome to
my barbecue! In the
meantime, perhaps I'll
hide away myself...

...fair is fair after all!

Edge: Come back here!

Unsurprisingly, Rubicant does not come back; he teleports away, and the party walks up to check on this 'Prince Edge'.

Rydia: We're also after
Rubicant for his crystal.

Edge: Why don't you stay
out of this?
Yang: He is one of the
Fiends of Elements!

Cecil: Haven't you tasted
enough of his power!?
Edge: Think I'm just a
spoiled prince, huh?

The Royal Family of Eblan
is trained as Ninja!
I can take care of this
myself, okay?

Cid: Son, from what I've
seen he really did a
number on you...

Cecil: Rubicant is
incredibly strong with
Damcyan's Fire crystal.

Yang: We're after him
anyway to retrieve the
crystal...

Cid: And we'll do it
somehow whether you help
or not...

Rydia: But we could really
use the extra hand!

Edge: Rubicant kidnapped
my parents and had
horrible experiements[sic]
performed on them...

...they didn't survive... ...

Then when he and his
monsters attacked the
castle, we tried to fight
them off but there were

too many of them, so we
fled to our underground
hideout.

But I'm tired of hiding!
I'm gonna get Rubicant
back! And you're darn
right you need my help!

So many words. I'm amused at how the four of us can apparently finish each others' sentences now. Anyway, Edge shuts up now and joins our party!

First things first.



Forget that 'Ninja' magic; Edge uses actual Black magic here. There isn't actually a difference, honestly; in fact, the original game just considers 'Ninja' another form of Black magic. See, where Dark Knight Cecil picks up the debilitating spells, Edge here picks up the murdering spells. If you put the two together, you'd get every Black spell in the game, with zero overlap. We'll also see this later with Rosa and someone else, for White magic.

(Yes, this means Edge picks up Flare. Yes, it's incredibly weird.)

Tnado there, unlike what typically gets called Tornado in FF4, does not set the target's HP to critical. It's just a forced-AoE Air-element spell. It's not terrible? Slightly stronger than a split [Elem]2. And Edge's Wis stat is passable enough that he can get away with being an off-brand Black Mage for a while.

But no one uses Edge as a Black Mage, that's stupid.



In-battle, he has the same Throw and Steal commands you know. I'm probably not going to bother duplicating a near-infinite stack of swords for Edge to toss...though I'll probably keep a stack of Shuriken around, since as you can see, Edge is stuck in the back row. You could almost make an argument for his magic right now.

...speaking of right now; when Edge mentioned Rubicant attacked with his monsters, yeah, those monsters are still around. Eblan Castle has random battles which look a lot like the original game's Tower of Zot encounter table. Otherwise, the castle is the same, with hidden chests everywhere.



Monster chests included. This particular fight isn't a big issue; the Giant Gloves that Cid and Cecil have provide extra defense against the Giant race this guy is, so they take little damage. Cecil gets some mileage out of his spells for once and Charms the big lug, and he punches himself for 700 HP.



And then I remember Cid's Gaia Hammer is super-effective; the Staleman doesn't even have that much HP. Inside is the Flame Mail. Unlike the original game's inverted resistances, here, the Flame Mail defends against Fire. Considering Rubicant is around here, that's very handy. Cecil gets it in his neverending quest to have more Defense than Attack.

Another Staleman chest contains the Flame Sword, which is...less useful, right now... I don't put it on just yet, not least of which because of all these FlameDogs.

In the Right Tower, a third Staleman guards a Gold Shield. We already had one of these from the revamped Mist Cave, and Cid can't currently use a shield, so it's kind of pointless. That said, it guards against petrification, so I'm not going to argue against having an extra on-hand.

Now, a word of caution.



See this hole right here? Make sure you're ready before you fall down that hole; there's no coming back up. In the original game, this lead to a little cave under the castle, which then pooped you right back outside.

Here...well, you'll see.

Once I've made my preparations, I jump down.



Down here in the Basement, there's a few more chests, all with consumables (though one's an Elixir). Continuing along the path, we find...



...Rubicant up ahead! Make sure your equipment's set up before you talk to him.

Rubicant: So... this is where
your people have escaped.

Edge: Shut up!

Rubicant: How brave! But
you'll never gain real
strength as long as you
are swayed by emotions.

Edge: I'll show you the
power...

of anger!

Rubicant: I'm not like the
others, you see. I like
to play fair!

Rubicant: Now I restore
you to full strength!
Fight with all your
might!

That's right; we're fighting Rubicant already! His HP has been toned down a bit to compensate for you fighting him quite a bit earlier than usual. Otherwise, though, this is the same battle as the original. I have Edge throw Shuriken for about 900 a pop, Rydia use Shiva when the cape's open, and the meatheads punch/bonk/stab as appropriate.

I have to watch out a bit, though; he counters the Fight command with a party-wide Fire2, and since I don't have a healer, those numbers add up. This is why I bought those Ice-Balls earlier; they even do more damage than physical attacks, too.



Though Rydia's the real star of the show. That said...



This isn't too bad either. I can't use ice attacks while the cape's up (he's set to absorb both fire and ice while caped), so I use that time to patch up whoever just got murdered by Glare. Edge can still throw Shuriken, however, and when all is said and done, he's probably got the highest total damage this fight.



Case in point. He didn't even get to use a second Glare.

Rubicant: Well... now I see
why Golbez had a hard
time with you.

Weak people can join
forces......
I admire you, warriors!
... Farewell...

With that, Rubicant dies and leaves us the Fire crystal.

Edge: Dad...

Mom...

I avenged you...!

Edge: Now let's go get
Golbez!

Rydia: And rescue Rosa!

Edge: My people are
digging a tunnel to
connect to the Tower of
Babil.

We can sneak in and take
them by surprise!

Hooray. All of that rambly text Edge dumped on us when he joined got a resolution, and now we have a free ninja. Not bad. Moving into the tunnel Rubicant was blocking...



...we come to the Eblan hideout! And that's where I'll cut off for today.

Next time, we see just how high the Tower of Babil reaches...and how low it starts. Please look forward to it!

[JBear]

Originally Posted by aturtledoesbite

I'm kind of curious who exactly told the Clerics what happened; the guards at the gate got killed, so all they would've found is some collapsed bodies and a bunch of small craters. Oh well, minor issue. (GoggleBob, this one's all you!)

I mean, it's a castle? Presumably someone looked out a window or off of a parapet.

[McClain]

I just found this LP and it's FASCINATING. Thanks for sharing it with us.

[YangusKhan]

That stupid tile of land where you can actually walk over to get to Eblan had me stuck for a good 30 minutes. I went everywhere multiple times until I finally threw up my hands and thought "maybe I can just walk over there." Yeah that was dumb.

[JBear]

I mean, it's also dumb in the base game. It's just not required there.

[aturtledoesbite]

Bonus Chapter: The Training Room

Hello! I'm going to interrupt your scheduled tower break-in to talk about the Training Room. It's the first building you're likely to run into when you enter Baron, and this hack actually puts it to good use.




The room's loaded with NPCs, a second floor, and there's even Namingway over there if you wanted to do something dumb like change Cecil's name to PANTS. I'm gonna start from the top and work my way down:

Prof. Grimoire LD: Rings
go on your off hand and
give you an extra defense
multiplier. Sadly, this

means you can't use a ring
along with a two-handed
weapon, like a Harp or
a Hammer.

Lancet deals half the
damage of a regular attack
but it drains HP! It only
works with a spear.

Chakra heals half of your
remaining HP. It won't
save you from the brink of
death, but it can keep you

from getting there to
begin with.

Party members not fighting
efficiently? Give 'em a
Bonk! Be sure to deliver
it with a hefty mallet!

Wizards with a strong bond
can cast Twin spells. The
damage is based on their
current HP.

Ally turning to stone? Use
a Wooden Staff to soften them!

If a Summoner is stuck,
she can call for Help! A
random summon will come,
but it will cost MP.

Attack items like FireBomb
deal damage relative to
your current HP.

Some weapons require both
hands. If it looks like
you can't use it, try
emptying your other hand.

Ram yourself into an enemy
with Dash! It will hurt
the enemy equal to your
current HP, but you will

damage yourself in the
process.

As it turns out, a lot of these things are things I've already brought up. Funny that. There are some new things here, though, like Lancet doing half-damage and a Wooden Staff being evocable for a Soft. What's this about 'Twin' and 'Bonk', though...?

To the second floor!



jesus christ there's more of them

Starting from the top:

Prof. Chillyfeez: Angel
feathers can be used in
battle to cause the party
to float! Earth attacks

will miss, and you will
remain floating after
battle, until you go up or
down stairs, or teleport.

Many Chemists attempted to
craft an Elixir that can
heal many people at once,
but none have succeeded...

...that we know of.

If you duplicate items,
you are a cheater, and you
deserve whatever glitches
you incur as a result!

Use the shop like a normal
person!

Throwing Shurikens is an
effective way to fight
from the back if you can
afford to keep stocked.

Use Charge to deal more
damage in a single attack.
This lets you save on
ammunition!

Sing a Dirge to damage
undead enemies.

Bats can be annoying with
their RedFeast attack, but
they are weak to air
attacks like arrows,

spears, and the Tornado
spell.

Some monsters telegraph
their big attacks. Use
that chance to Hide!

Some characters can use
two weapons at once. If a
monster is weak to one of
them, it will be weak to

the entire attack!

Don't be too quick to sell
old equipment. Many have
special properties that
make them useful for quite

some time after you found
them. When in doubt, store
them in a Fat Chocobo
instead of selling them.

Demi deals 1/4 of the
target's max HP.
Harm damages undeads.
Galxy stops all enemies.

Comet is like a miniature
version of Meteo.
Awake heals battle status
like berserk and charm.

Not sure what an enemy
might be weak to? Use a
bestiary on it! They even
work on bosses!

Phew. That's all of them. A couple of things:

• ahahahahaha they're calling me out
• Angel Feathers are the only viable means of Float for certain dungeons later on.
• A few under-the-hood allusions, like Edge's dual-wielding letting you essentially combine weapon properties.
• Every spell in that second-to-last box is preceded by the White magic symbol.

So yeah, there's a lot here for you to unpack. The Training Room only exists here, but you pass directly through Baron twice, and have the option of coming back when you're on the black chocobo, so it's worth checking it more than once, with the extra context of having played through the game a bit and seeing these things in action.

Now, where were we...oh, right! The Tower of Babel. Please look forward to it!

[Kazin]

What is it referring to with Bonk? Have you had one of your characters hit another with a mallet? Wtf lol

[McClain]

man, making it so spell-casting item, which are rarely used and tend to clog up inventory, ALSO hurt you seems like a bad idea.

[Torzelbaum]

Uh, I thought that meant the damage the item does to enemies is equal to the current HP of the user.

Originally Posted by Kazin

What is it referring to with Bonk? Have you had one of your characters hit another with a mallet? Wtf lol

I bet it's Palom or Porom's special ability. (I can never keep those two straight.)

[aturtledoesbite]

Originally Posted by McClain

man, making it so spell-casting item, which are rarely used and tend to clog up inventory, ALSO hurt you seems like a bad idea.

No, they don't hurt you. Look up at the previous update and see where I use Ice-Balls to good effect.

As for Bonk, we haven't gotten to it yet. I'll show it off when we do.