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Old 06-14-2018, 04:24 PM
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Default Digital Down-Low for 06/14/2018: A Bugs Death

In conclusion; Hello!

As it would happen, this beeing EEE Week (or WEEEK, if I prefer), this weeks new release list is a bit skimpier than usual. Insufficiently skimpy to let me skip it, however. Especially since next week I'm on vacation and I ain't be threading up CRAP. ANd first and foremost we have Jurassic World: Evolution, a game with a premise so mind boggling obvious that this can't be the first time anyone made it, right? I mean, they made a Jurassic Park themed Contra knock-off with barely any dinosaurs in it back on the SNES. This can't be the first time someone made a theme park sim out of the series about the most poorly designed theme park!

That being said, I sincerely hope that the game has no attainable win-states whatsoever.


Omega Strike is a side-scrolly run and gun about three buddies, no pals, who scamper from point A to Point B EXPLODING ALL THE GUYS. It looks a lot like Mercenary Kings. Like... not enough to make me think they're related, but close enough that I was wondering if the Mercenary Kings guys couldn't afford to hire Paul Robertson again...


And speaking of BLOWING UP ALL THE GUYS, PS4 also got Super Bomberman R! Which you may recall as being a Switch launch game! And now it's on the PS4! Hey! Neat! It's a remake of Ye Olde Super Bomberman from the SNES, but with fancy polygon graphics and voice acting and online multiplayer and somehow it isn't quite as fun as it should be but for the life of me I can't quite articulate why that would be the case.


Fallout Shelter is also out on the Switch! And... like... everything else. It combines bits and bobs from all the games I mentioned already; taking place after All The Guys Got Blowed Up, and also being a game about building a place for people to visit. And live in forever because the alternative is a a post apocalyptic wasteland full of raiders and giant mutant bugs. So you better make good and damn sure that nobody wants to leave, ever. It's got a little something for everythone, But don't take my word for it, listen to what our very own Wendell had to say about it;

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Originally Posted by Wendell View Post
FUCK YOU, FALLOUT SHELTER.

On the Switch itself we got a bunch of stuff that was secretly (or at least *secretly*) released during the Nintendo Direct, like Fortnite! That's right, the shooter beloved by teens and tweens almost as much as tidepods and watching Twitch livestreams and Ben 10 is now on your Nintendo Switch! Mine a car! Experience the futility of building a home in the path of a hurricane! Be sniped from across the map by a 12 year old because you're trying to figure out what the fri*k is going on in this game!


And speaking of multiplayer shooters released during the Nintendo Direct, we also have Paladins! Thats right, everyones... third or fourth favorite character-based multiplayer arena shooter has ALSO made the jump to Switch! It's eventually going to be Free To Play, but right now it's forty dollars Canadian to play!

I don't know if it's good or not, but it's not like Team Fortress or Overwatch are on Switch to eat its lunch money. On the other hand, Splatoon 2 is right there.


Also up, and most important to me, Octo, is Hollow Knight! Which is a Troid-em-up that also has the Good Bits of Dark Souls added for flavour! Take a weirdly adorable undead bug-buddy out on a quest to explore a vast, ruined, subterranean hive city and learn the truth of its fall while battling an army of undead bug monsters. Then you find abilities and use those abilites to explore further!

When you die you have to make you way back to where you died to get your precious loot back!

KILL BUGS THAT BUGS MIGHT LIVE!


Next up is another entry in the strangely prolific category of Dating Sims on Switch, with Pub Encounters. Which is, as is the case with every dating sim on the Switch, about picking up steamy bachelors. The difference this time; they're all over 40! That's right, finally a video game captures the feeling of being hit on by a (presumably) drunk guy old enough to be your dad!

The games tagline is "The last time I fall in love... will be with you" which is not romantic, IT IS FIFTY KINDS OF CREEPY!


And the last game I'm yammerin' on about this week is quite a surprise; we've got Donkey Kong! Like... the Arcade version of DOnkey Kong.

THE ONE WITH THE PIE FACTORY!

Billy Mitches white whale, thought to be lost in the same abyss as the 4-Armed Grimace and Black Smithers, has resurfaced, to teach us all, again, what it means... to love.


And normally I don't cover DLC, but the Splatoon 2 Octo-Expansion has also finally been released, and thats robust enough to almost be considered a separate game. Plus with a name like that, I can't help but feel that it's being targeted to me just a bit.

SO ANYWAY, that's all I'm bothering with this week. And next week, for that matter, since I'm not going to be anywhere near a computer for that. BUY, HAVE A GREAT SUMMER!
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Old 06-14-2018, 05:34 PM
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I hoped that someday my quote might appear on the game’s store page, or a tv ad, but I never dared dream quite this big!
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Old 06-14-2018, 07:08 PM
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I bought Donkey Kong hell yeah
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Old 06-14-2018, 09:42 PM
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I did too! The sound synth used for the game always sounds weird to my ears, but that's probably because of how used I am to the game's main sound effects coming from the NES sound hardware! It's still really good and pairs nicely with DK Original Edition which I have on my 3DS!
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Old 06-14-2018, 09:45 PM
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I am so happy to own Donkey Kong in its arcade form. It was the game that truly launched my gaming career so to speak, and I just can't express how surreal it has been to hear the authentic sound from the arcade again. So good.
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Old 06-14-2018, 10:05 PM
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My feelings as I quit all my life obligations to immediately spend all my available time attempting to reach the highest possible score against this giant primate

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Old 06-14-2018, 10:13 PM
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I'm curious how Hamster bridged the gap between Nintendo and Ikegami Tsushinki. Just noticed that the eShop description doesn't mention Mario or Pauline (she goes by her original name, "Lady") and Donkey Kong is only referenced as the game's title.
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Old 06-14-2018, 10:38 PM
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I'm sure I'll probably end up dropping it after a month or two (or after a big FUCK YOU event screws me over), but for now I'm seriously enjoying Fallout Shelter. It's like watching an ant farm, except the ants are Vault Boy/Girl styled people and you can send them on quests to kill raiders and shit.

Yeah, of course it's trying to get you to buy microtransactions (Nuka Cola Quantum for fast travel and quicker item craft, Mr. Handys for simpler resource collection, pet carriers for pets that give special buffs, lunchboxes for a 5-pack of items/residents), but generally they feel more like an option than a necessity.

Anyway, now I'm seriously looking forward to Elder Scrolls: Blades.
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Old 06-15-2018, 04:40 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Excitemike View Post
I'm curious how Hamster bridged the gap between Nintendo and Ikegami Tsushinki. Just noticed that the eShop description doesn't mention Mario or Pauline (she goes by her original name, "Lady") and Donkey Kong is only referenced as the game's title.
Mario is "Jumpman" in all the documentation. It's great.
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bats aren't bugs , digital downloads , dino damage! , donkey kong is here , fuck you fallout shelter , its on like donkey kong , monkey wash donkey rinse , octo does not do research

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