The Return of Talking Time

Go Back   The Return of Talking Time > Talking about media > Let's Play Already

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 08-29-2010, 08:46 AM
Parish's Avatar
Parish Parish is offline
Your life is forfeit
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Rally, Nerf Cackolacka
Posts: 11,366
Default Kept you waiting, huh? Let's Play Snake's Revenge!

Oh whoa hey dudes, it's my first-ever Let's Play. Technically speaking, anyway. I would like to promise that it's going to be amazing and insightful and teach you crazy things you never knew about the game it covers, but this guarantee is impossible for me to make! For you see, I will be let's-playing the second chapter of the Metal Gear saga. No, not Metal Gear 2. I mean Snake's Revenge.



Sorry 'bout that.

Of course, you know the terrifying true story behind Snake's Revenge. Metal Gear was designed by plucky young auteur-in-the-making Hideo Kojima for the MSX computer back in 1987 or thereabouts. Knowing it would sell a lot more on Famicom/NES, Konami had a bunch of other dudes port the game. While they did an admirable job of keeping Metal Gear's spirit intact -- the game was designed around the MSX's sprite and scrolling limitations, meaning most of its interesting mechanics were technically unnecessary on the NES but nevertheless integral to the experience -- they omitted a few essentials. You know, like the enemy mech that gave the game its name in the first place. It was kind of a janky port, really.

But we didn't know that back then. Which means we NES kids in America thought it was great and enjoyed it for what it was. We enjoyed it so much, in fact, that Konami decided it would be a brilliant move to develop a sequel to the game specifically for American (and European) NES players without bothering to trouble Kojima about it. And thus: Snake's Revenge. The second Metal Gear game. Never released in Japan, never published on MSX.

That can't possibly be a good sign, right? Right.

Here's the thing about my relationship with Snake's Revenge: I don't have much of one. I loved Metal Gear on NES, and I knew nothing of its heritage. And excited as I was about the prospect of a sequel, I just couldn't bring myself to buy Snake's Revenge. I remember deliberating long and thoughtfully one night at Toys R Us on how to spend the $40 I had saved up for a new NES game. Did I want the sequel to a brilliant game I loved, or did I want to risk the unknown quantity of Code Name: Viper? Snake's Revenge seemed the right choice, but something about the whole thing felt off. Maybe it was the screenshot of a side-scrolling action sequence on the back of the box. Maybe it was the attribution of revenge to the hero conflicting with the knowledge I took away from Return of the Jedi's mid-production title change, that good guys don't seek revenge. Maybe the tiny time-traveling core of my brain, the one everyone uses to look into the future to predict outcomes for important decisions, sent me unconscious impulses that this was a fake Metal Gear game. But whatever the case, I picked up Code Name: Viper instead. And a few weeks later, when I rented Snake's Revenge, I knew I'd made the right choice.



Snake vs. Viper: Viper wins.

And now, 20 years later, I'm back to finish what I started. It's time to put a stop to Higharolla Kockamamie's Ultra-Sheik Nuclear Attack Tank.

Yes, that's really the name of the bad guy, according to the manual. Sigh.

Unfortunately, this mission is still in the planning stages, as the next three weeks will see me covering PAX and Tokyo Game Show and not having much time for bumbling stealth. Snake will take his ignoble revenge, but it probably won't commence until late September. Look forward to it.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 08-29-2010, 08:59 AM
JCDenton's Avatar
JCDenton JCDenton is offline
Scrub That Shit Down
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: The Isle of Koholint
Posts: 2,842
Default

I've always been curious about this game but never took the time to check it out. Now I get to spare myself the apparent pain.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Parish View Post
Look forward to it.
Only if you promise that it will be amazing and insightful and teach me the power of love.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 08-29-2010, 09:28 AM
Octopus Prime's Avatar
Octopus Prime Octopus Prime is offline
Mystery Contraption
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: The Great White North
Pronouns: He
Posts: 46,968
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Parish View Post
It's time to put a stop to Higharolla Kockamamie's Ultra-Sheik Nuclear Attack Tank.
Y'see? This is why I love Konami games from the early 90s; word play so excruciatingly godawful that it loops back around to being sublime.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 08-29-2010, 02:26 PM
Parish's Avatar
Parish Parish is offline
Your life is forfeit
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Rally, Nerf Cackolacka
Posts: 11,366
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by JCDenton View Post
I've always been curious about this game but never took the time to check it out. Now I get to spare myself the apparent pain.



Only if you promise that it will be amazing and insightful and teach me the power of love.
Better than that, I'm gonna do my best to reinsert this game into Metal Gear canon.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 08-29-2010, 02:39 PM
Comb Stranger's Avatar
Comb Stranger Comb Stranger is offline
Erudite Swine
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Philadelphia
Posts: 3,971
Default

It was all a VR simulation made by the Mk. II to brainwash Sunny (who is the disembodied memory of Benjamin Franklin) into activating the Zanzibar Protocol which will resurrect the nanites from the Shagohod so Ocelot can ride in the carpool lane for patriotism.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 08-29-2010, 02:42 PM
SilentSnake's Avatar
SilentSnake SilentSnake is offline
Fun Club Agent
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Pronouns: He/him
Posts: 9,060
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Comb Stranger View Post
It was all a VR simulation
This is really all one needs to insert something into the Metal Gear canon.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 08-29-2010, 02:50 PM
MetManMas's Avatar
MetManMas MetManMas is online now
Come, noble knights!
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Kissimmee, FL
Pronouns: He/Him/His
Posts: 20,816
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by SilentSnake View Post
This is really all one needs to insert something into the Metal Gear canon.
That, or a cutaway to a big animated pic of Snake sleeping, implying it was all a dream before his next mission. Hey, it worked for Super Mario Bros. 2.

I don't remember too much about this game, and I never beat it, so I'm looking forward to this.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 08-29-2010, 03:07 PM
q 3's Avatar
q 3 q 3 is offline
Nothing is more powerful
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Pronouns: singular they 4 lyfe
Posts: 2,273
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Parish View Post
Better than that, I'm gonna do my best to reinsert this game into Metal Gear canon.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Comb Stranger View Post
nanites
There you go.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 08-29-2010, 03:20 PM
Nodal's Avatar
Nodal Nodal is offline
:O
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 10,637
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Parish View Post
Better than that, I'm gonna do my best to reinsert this game into Metal Gear canon.
Elaborate training maze constructed on a giant ship in the middle of the ocean.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 08-29-2010, 03:36 PM
Sky Render's Avatar
Sky Render Sky Render is offline
Not for resale
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Oregon
Posts: 3,967
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Parish View Post
Better than that, I'm gonna do my best to reinsert this game into Metal Gear canon.
If that doesn't work, you can always re-insert this game into Metal Gear's cannon instead.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 08-29-2010, 05:05 PM
Higharolla Kockamamie's Avatar
Higharolla Kockamamie Higharolla Kockamamie is offline
Hegemon of Ishkabibil
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Columbia, MD
Posts: 25
Default

Did somebody mention Metal Gear canon?
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 08-29-2010, 05:35 PM
StrawberryChrist's Avatar
StrawberryChrist StrawberryChrist is offline
My motives are unknown!
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Slam Town, USA
Posts: 454
Default

The wordplay suggests that Snake's Revenge might be a continuation of the alternate "Ultra" continuity, which pits Solid Snake (under orders from a mysterious "Commander South") against the crazed terrorist Vermon CaTaffy who appropriately enough is never seen or mentioned in the game itself.
This is from the same manual that refers to the cartridge as a cassette (I guess it is, technically?) and the NES as "your computer".

Not to mention "The mission finally ends when you die. Or when you win."
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 08-29-2010, 07:07 PM
Stiv's Avatar
Stiv Stiv is offline
PROF. VIDEO GAMES, PHD.
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Six feet off the floor
Posts: 3,207
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by StrawberryChrist View Post
Not to mention "The mission finally ends when you die. Or when you win."
The most succinct and accurate description of a video game ever.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 08-29-2010, 07:16 PM
Kishi's Avatar
Kishi Kishi is offline
Little Waves
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 26,258
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by StrawberryChrist View Post
The wordplay suggests that Snake's Revenge might be a continuation of the alternate "Ultra" continuity, which pits Solid Snake (under orders from a mysterious "Commander South") against the crazed terrorist Vermon CaTaffy who appropriately enough is never seen or mentioned in the game itself.
This is from the same manual that refers to the cartridge as a cassette (I guess it is, technically?) and the NES as "your computer".
Both Snake's Revenge and the NES version of Metal Gear actually make no mention of all the insane Reaganomique gibberish found in their manuals. Higharolla Kockamamie isn't in this game any more than "Jagger Froid" is in Super C.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 08-29-2010, 07:25 PM
Octopus Prime's Avatar
Octopus Prime Octopus Prime is offline
Mystery Contraption
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: The Great White North
Pronouns: He
Posts: 46,968
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kishi View Post
Both Snake's Revenge and the NES version of Metal Gear actually make no mention of all the insane Reaganomique gibberish found in their manuals. Higharolla Kockamamie isn't in this game any more than "Jagger Froid" is in Super C.
Wasn't Jagger Froid the giant skull-critter in level 6?

Have.... have I been lying to myself for 20 years?

TELL ME, KISHI!
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 08-29-2010, 07:28 PM
Kishi's Avatar
Kishi Kishi is offline
Little Waves
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 26,258
Default

The answer is...

Oh—yes. It's yes.
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 08-29-2010, 07:32 PM
Octopus Prime's Avatar
Octopus Prime Octopus Prime is offline
Mystery Contraption
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: The Great White North
Pronouns: He
Posts: 46,968
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kishi View Post
The answer is...

Oh—yes. It's yes.
"Yes, he's the skull-dude", or "Yes, everything you thought you knew was wrong"

Please be more clear. I.... I don't know if my heart can take it.
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 08-29-2010, 07:35 PM
Bongo's Avatar
Bongo Bongo is offline
oh my car
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Colorado Land
Pronouns: he/him
Posts: 21,510
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Higharolla Kockamamie View Post
Did somebody mention Metal Gear canon?
Oh my god, this user exists.
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 08-29-2010, 07:52 PM
Kishi's Avatar
Kishi Kishi is offline
Little Waves
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 26,258
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Octopus Prime View Post
"Yes, he's the skull-dude", or "Yes, everything you thought you knew was wrong"

Please be more clear. I.... I don't know if my heart can take it.
You are Al Yankovic in 1996.
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 08-29-2010, 08:42 PM
Lumber Baron's Avatar
Lumber Baron Lumber Baron is offline
Super Solver
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Bend, OR
Posts: 3,168
Default

Obvious exits are West, South, and Polka Cover of Contemporary Hits.
Reply With Quote
  #21  
Old 08-29-2010, 08:58 PM
StrawberryChrist's Avatar
StrawberryChrist StrawberryChrist is offline
My motives are unknown!
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Slam Town, USA
Posts: 454
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Octopus Prime View Post
I.... I don't know if my heart can take it.
Cause it took so long to bake it, and you'll never have that recipe agaaaaaain?

oh crap I thought I was posting in that "worst songs ever" thread.
Reply With Quote
  #22  
Old 08-29-2010, 09:03 PM
Sapper Gopher's Avatar
Sapper Gopher Sapper Gopher is offline
Guy that flies so good.
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 680
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Parish View Post
Better than that, I'm gonna do my best to reinsert this game into Metal Gear canon.
Uh, "it was another mission Snake went on before Metal Gear 2". There, done.

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Wikipedia Page
Snake confronts the enemy's commander, who reveals himself to be a cybernetically enhanced Big Boss, having survived his previous encounter with Snake.
Oh yeah, that. Probably just another clone. Or he cheated death twice.
Reply With Quote
  #23  
Old 08-29-2010, 09:21 PM
McClain's Avatar
McClain McClain is offline
on a break
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Atlanta-ish
Pronouns: He him
Posts: 27,516
Default

Always enjoy the LPs of painful NES games. I look forward to your pain.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Metal Man Master View Post
That, or a cutaway to a big animated pic of Snake sleeping, implying it was all a dream before his next mission. Hey, it worked for Super Mario Bros. 2.
The thing that always bothered me about this was the Shy Guys later appearing in games with that weren't a dream. Did Mario make them real through the power of imagination?

Or was it only kind of a dream like the second phase of the Hitchhiker's radio show?
Reply With Quote
  #24  
Old 08-29-2010, 09:37 PM
Comb Stranger's Avatar
Comb Stranger Comb Stranger is offline
Erudite Swine
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Philadelphia
Posts: 3,971
Default

Mario was dreaming about all the shyguy ass he kicked in the totally real adventure the day before.
Reply With Quote
  #25  
Old 08-29-2010, 09:51 PM
dtsund's Avatar
dtsund dtsund is offline
Set phasers to hug
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,096
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by McClain142 View Post
The thing that always bothered me about this was the Shy Guys later appearing in games with that weren't a dream. Did Mario make them real through the power of imagination?
No, they really exist, it's just that Wart had figured out the whereabouts of the third Warp Whistle. Super Mario Bros. 2 is really about Mario, Luigi, Toadstool, and Toad making a realistic dream for Wart that they can enter to steal that knowledge without him knowing it. Getting a game over means your character is stuck in Limbo.

The plan was pretty elaborate; they had a second layer to the dream, even. This level was much weirder, with Wart finding himself as a professional singer, going by the name of Mamu.

Without Mario 2, there would have only been two Warp Whistles in Mario 3.
Reply With Quote
  #26  
Old 08-29-2010, 11:17 PM
q 3's Avatar
q 3 q 3 is offline
Nothing is more powerful
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Pronouns: singular they 4 lyfe
Posts: 2,273
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sapper Gopher View Post
Oh yeah, that. Probably just another clone. Or he cheated death twice.
The final boss of Snake's Revenge is actually Gaseous Snake, the little known fourth clone of Big Boss. Gaseous is Solidus' counterpart, so he got all the shitty genes.

He also got all of Liquid's hand-me-downs, such as his shitty jeans.

What do you mean, this isn't the worst jokes thread?
Reply With Quote
  #27  
Old 08-30-2010, 05:44 PM
PT's Avatar
PT PT is offline
Too Much TV Game
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,820
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kishi View Post
Well played. To reference that very song, let's just pretend Snake stepped into an alternate dimension and did all the events of Snake's Revenge without even knowing it wasn't real. And maybe the main bad guy also looked like Jamie Farr.

I think there's a ton of evidence that instruction manuals in the late 80s/early 90s had a lot of made-up stuff inside. Many localization teams had no time to write something in the instruction manual even remotely relevant to the game - there needed to be copy on something, anything! Get this crap out the door!

Anyway, I approve of the name Higharolla Kockamamie. Just because.

Looking forward to the LP!
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:51 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Your posts ©you, 2007