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Top 50 Duos: Counting the Seconds

Johnny Unusual

(He/Him)
6

Mario & Luigi

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117 Points, 4 Lists, Highest Vote: #4 @Vaeran

Source: Mario game series

Duo-Type: Hurry Up and Die So I Can Play

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Mario is a plumber and hero in a strange fantasy realm. There, he is often called upon to defend the Mushroom Kingdom (as well as other places and even other worlds) from the cruel Bowser, a dragon-turtle thing who is a king. Many Mario non-game media has him arriving from a world closer to our own but in the games, his past is unexplained. His personality is spritely and generally happy and determined to do good. Often he acquires powers from items strewn throughout the world but outside of that only has to rely on his reflects, including his impressive jumping skills. Originally appearing in Donkey Kong as “Jumpman”, Mario eventually received his own games, along side…

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Luigi is a plumber in a strange fantasy realm. Often, he is helping stop villain in the Mushroom Kingdom and other places within this world. Luigi is a brave hero but to be this, often must overcome his fear. Not easy when you are the owner of three haunted houses. Long story. But having lived in those spaces, he’s become an expert ghost hunter, despite his fearful nature. In many cases, he’s also more likely to appear when the situation gets more difficult.


The Mario Bros. are two brothers living in a fantastical reality. According to canon, they are twins, though Mario is the elder of the two and it often shows. Mario tends to be the initiator and goes on more adventures, though both are intrepid. Both are often called upon to defend the Mushroom Kingdom and other lands. Despite that, though, they are known for their many hobbies, such as playing sports (particularly go-kart racing but also tennis, soccer and golf, to name just a few) and world-spanning party games.

Originally, the two brothers were interchangeable, though in Super Mario Bros. 2, the character of Luigi (due to the game being a reskin of another game) was taller and a higher jumper. Though Luigi would be a reskinned Mario in 3, it helped establish Luigi as the tall one, which endured. Interestingly, an obscure (though now internet-famous) 1985 Mario OAV introduced Luigi as the taller brother (if anyone can find an earlier reference, let me know). As the games progressed and the nature of gaming changed, the two went on more independent adventures (especially Mario, by a wide margin) but out of that, Luigi began to develop a distinct personality where he is the more fearful brother, an aspect that appears throughout most current Mario media.


The Mario Bros are THE iconic video game duo so it’s not surprising they are up so high. Though Mario has since gone on more solo adventures, we always remember them together. Other media tended to create their own takes on the characters, with Mario always being the braver brother. But really, separating them for a while allowed the two to become richer characters, particularly in deepening Luigi with Luigi’s mansion. But even outside of characters, it is fun to play these two and I always remember Luigi is being the high jumper as a kid.

Iconic Moment:

No shortage of Mario games with the two characters but only a handful of traditional platformers where they can play together at the same time. Super Mario Wonder is a mega hit and critical darling that lets you do that.

 

Issun

Chumpy
(He/Him)
I actually dumped these losers for a duo that probably won't even place, even though they are way cooler than Red Luigi and Green Mario.

I'll spoiler them just in case. I dropped Mario and Luigi from my list for
Merry and Liz
 

Johnny Unusual

(He/Him)
5

Peanut Butter & Chocolate

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117 Points, 4 Lists, Highest Vote: #2 @Daikaiju

Source: The Culinary World

Duo-Type: Two Great Tastes

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I already talked about this.

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Chocolate/Cocoa is a food, usually served as a sweet snack or dessert, made from roasted and ground cocoa seeds. It can be served as a solid, liquid or paste (I’m sure someone served it as a gas once) and is sometimes used as a flavouring agent in other foods. Though chocolate is known for its sweet flavour, the seeds are actually very bitter and must be fermented for it acquire its unique taste. Chocolate is often used in making desserts and is popular over the world as a snack and a gift, even being associated with multiple holidays like Christmas, Hannukah, Valentine’s Day and Easter. Though cocoa originated in the America’s the greatest producers of chocolate in the world are West African countries The Ivory Coast and Ghana.


So, she was just walking around eating out of a jar of peanut butter?

It’s hard to say the exact origins of combining chocolate and peanut butter but the first notable commercial creation originated with H.B. Reese, a dairy farmer and former employee of Hershey. Working there, he was inspired to start his own candy company. His Johnny Bars and Lizzie Bars were moderate successes but REAL success came when the first chocolate treat with peanut butter was released in the mid 1920; the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup. Other companies tried to release their own variations, though Reese was often quick to react with legal retaliation in regards to their iconic treat. In the 1960s, Reese’s company merged with Hershey’s by 1969, it became the top seller. Since then, combining peanut butter and chocolate in home cooking became a popular choice; cookies, cakes, balls, squares. It is even popular in ice cream and similar frozen treats.

So why do we like them so much? Well part of it is the dynamic sensory contrast, as brains often enjoy contrasting textures and flavours. The smooth texture of the chocolate goes well with the slightly rougher texture of the PB and the sweet flavour of the chocolate goes well with the… would we call peanuts “savoury”? I don’t know if it’s wrong but I feel like it isn’t quite right. Anyway, those different tastes go well together. It’s also possible related to the Maillard reaction where humans are programmed to react positively to the browning the comes with baking and roasting. T


Ever since I was a kid PB and chocolate was my favourite. I was always a fan of peanut butter but in elementary school, I realized these Reese’s Cups were the best. And they still are. But also if I got to choose a best ice cream, anything with chocolate and PB is high on my list (number one is, for now, mint and chocolate).

Iconic Moment:

Reese’s Cups hands down.
 

Issun

Chumpy
(He/Him)
Peanut Butter M&Ms are one of the rare candies where I could eat a whole bag in one sitting were I ever to ignore all restraint. This is the main reason I voted for PB&C
 

WildcatJF

Let's Pock (Art @szk_tencho)
(he / his / him)
YASSSS I don't think I voted for this but this is definitely a pairing I adore.

Mario and Luigi are fine I guess. Shame Mario Bros never took off I'm being handed a note
 

Kirin

Summon for hire
(he/him)
PB & Choc was one of the few food duos to earn a spot on my list. Just so tasty, plus that commercial is lodged in my generation’s subconscious forever.
 

Kirin

Summon for hire
(he/him)
Eh, I find something that's mostly caramel and chocolate to usually be *too* sweet to eat more than a few bites of. Whereas PB and chocolate just hits a nice balance.

The Trader Joe dark chocolate cups Daikaiju mentioned are also super good... just way more expensive, alas.
 

Violentvixen

(She/Her)
Taking a spoonful of peanut butter (crunchy of course), putting some bittersweet baking chips on top and having it with a glass of milk is my perfect dessert that I probably eat more than I should.
 

Johnny Unusual

(He/Him)
4

Bill S. Preston Esquire & Ted “Theodore” Logan

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118 Points, 5 Lists, Highest Vote: #1 @Purple

Source: Bill and Ted series

Duo-Type: WYLD STALLIONS!

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Bill S. Preston Esquire is a rocker from San Dimas, California born in 1970. Bill is a huge fan of rock and roll and heavy metal in particular and even has his own band, though he actually can’t play any instruments. He lives with his dad and step-mom Missy, who is implied only to be a couple years older than Bill. His band, Wyld Stallions, consists of him and…

latest

Ted “Theodore” Logan is a rock from San Dimas, California born in 1970. Ted is a huge fan of rock and of heavy metal in particular and has his own band, though he can’t play any instruments. Ted lives with his strict police captain father and his little brother Deacon.


Bill & Ted are childhood best friends united by their shared love of metal. Both are not very bright, particularly in regards to history and are lackadaisical and unambitious (despite wanting to be rock stars) yet are often thoughtful to others and good at making friends. They are verbose and speak in a California surfer dialect and form the band “Wyld Stallions” despite not being able to play instruments. Despite their weakness for facts themselves, they have been shown to be able to outwit foes and cleverly use their ability to time travel to win the day. Oh, did I mention that they are time travelers? Let’s get into that.

Bill & Ted, upon learning they were going to flunk history and as a consequence have Ted sent far away to a military academy, were approached by a mysterious figure named Rufus. He allowed them the use of his time machine to meet historical figures and get a passing grade, as Wyld Stallions would become a band that would unite the world, leading to a utopia. Bill & Ted faced many dangers and misadventures but eventually passed with an incredible school presentation. Later, the two would be murdered by evil robot doppelgangers and would have to go through Heaven and Hell (literally) to save the world from the madman who tried to have them killed. Eventually, in middle age they began to worry they would never save the world through their music, only to go through trials that would help save the world with the help of their daughters Billie and Thea.


It’s funny, Bill & Ted feel like in theory that they should have aged like sour milk. “Surfer dude” types were a big comedy go-to in the 80s due to the popularity of Spicolli in the film Fast Times at Ridgemont High and this combined with them being metalheads feels like a complete hodgepodge of teen tropes. But it completely works for a number of reasons. 1. I think people focus so much on the manner of speech it’s easy to forget the movies are very witty (I think that’s part of the reason Bogus Journey seems to get a little more love; the wit is baked into the set pieces and it’s really going wild instead of rehashing part 1) and 2. Alex Winter and Keanu Reeves are supremely charming in their roles. Despite a few teenaged eyerolls around their parents, there is a sweet, wide-eyed innocence to them. They remind me of one entry I almost put on my list, the Goofy Gophers from Looney Tunes; two gophers who are exceedingly polite with each other. Bill and Ted don’t fight a lot and the actors even admit that they are almost the same character to the point Keanu got a little confused making the movie at times. But all of these things are features, not bugs, and the two seem like they are having almost the best time ever at most times and when they aren’t, they can be surprisingly clever dealing with enemies.

Iconic Moment:

I feel like references to the arthouse classic The Seventh Seal have been done to… well, you know. But this scene is still a highlight to me.

 

Issun

Chumpy
(He/Him)
Aw man, another pair I didn't think of, though San Dimas High School football does rule, I'm given to understand.
 

JBear

Internet's foremost Bertolli cosplayer
(He/Him)
I feel like it's a truism that friendly earnest characters just age better. It's always cool to be excellent to each other.
 

Johnny Unusual

(He/Him)
Still never seen more than a couple clips of their stuff. I really should get around to watching it.
The movies are mostly quite good but I will say the characters do use some homophobic terms from time to time.

Weirdly, the less savoury elements of this went to a weird annual "Bill & Ted's Halloween Adventure" at the Universal Studios Halloween horror nights (with no involvement of any creators or stars), along with racism. I've heard the stage show mocked and parodied by other comedians as a bit of an inside gag because not only is it of "Epic Movie/Date Movie" quality of just referencing recent stuff in unfunny ways, it was weirdly racist and homophobic for the era (the 2010s).
 

Daikaiju

Rated Ages 6+
(He, Him)
The first season of the Saturday AM cartoon was pretty great with the movie cast reprising their roles.

Don't bother with season two.
 

Johnny Unusual

(He/Him)
3

Calvin & Hobbes

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128 Points, 4 Lists, Highest Vote: #1 @Baudshaw

Source: Calvin and Hobbes

Duo-Type: Two might be an imaginary number

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Calvin is a six-year-old child in the first grade. Often, Calvin is disobedient, makes trouble and does poorly in school (both in behaviour and in studying). Despite this, he is also shown to be highly intelligent, imaginative, philosophical and at times even spiritual but his relationship with the other people in his life (classmates, parents, teachers, babysitter) tends to be antagonistic. Though he loves his parents, he often doesn’t understand the point of their demands and is often pushing the boundaries, either in a sense of fun or simply lacking the common sense to know better. Sometimes he can have a point of view that would seem to be cynical or self-absorbed but can demonstrate a surprising amount of empathy at times. Despite his claim he would like to spend more time inside, he spends a lot of time playing outside, making snow men and riding his wagon down a hill. He tends to prefer spending time by himself. Well, except for…

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Hobbes is a stuffed tiger. He lives with Calvin and likes to relax, sleep and launch himself at Calvin like he is prey (usually when he comes home from school). He exhibits a very independent attitude but is also very thoughtful and has a good grasp on the concept of consequences. Despite this he rarely intervenes, though often gives warnings that go unheeded. Though often he can have a negative view of people in general, he rarely seems misanthropic and he tends to be friendly and easy-going.

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Calvin and Hobbes are a boy and his tiger. Calvin claims to have caught Hobbes with a tunafish sandwich and the two have been friends ever since. The two value their friendship despite being radically different; Calvin is often selfish, believing the world should work for him and has an antagonistic attitude to the people in his life while Hobbes, despite having a withering view of humans, is often easy going and kind, though he loves the occasional surprise attack on his best friend. Everyone else perceives Hobbes as a stuffed toy while Calvin sees him as a walking tiger. He will also join Calvin when he makes a dangerous decision or something he knows will get him in trouble and though he often gives him fair warning, he rarely stands in his way (though he will deny Calvin when he’d rather nap than play).

Often the two go on many adventures, as Calvin deals with a cloning machine, rocketing to Mars, and fighting killer snowman hordes of Calvin’s own creation. They tend to spend a lot of time in the woods outside of Calvin’s home as well. Calvin often has to deal with his neighbour Suzie Derkins, who he is often enemies with but sometimes playmates, though Hobbes seems to have a completely positive view of her. They two also often discuss philosophy, their place in the universe, art, language and spirituality (though often Calvin puts forth ideas that are clearly self-serving). Even though Calvin is often selfish (as children that age are, usually with a smaller vocabulary), they are often shown worrying about each other and others when the situation is more serious.

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Calvin and Hobbes really was a one of a kind strip, the voice of one man for 10 years who refused to make the decision to merchandise and expand the characters to other media. I remember reading over the books again and again and I always felt weird because Calvin could be such a jerk in some strips and so relatable in another. I think it all works because I feel like there’s a core of loneliness in the strip but it’s not about sadness, it’s about growth. Like Winnie the Pooh, this is the story of a child before he’s ready to socialize. Calvin is a lot rougher around the edges than Christopher Robin but this is a boy, a very bright but challenging boy, who is in a space as he is slowly coming out of the self-centered view of childhood. And to work through this he has a friend, a nature of which the creators intentionally leaves ambiguous even if it seems obvious because it is important to live in his world than look at it. Hobbes is weirdly withering but also sort of Calvin’s better angel in a lot of ways. But I feel like the comic works on the level of truly caring for another character but also learning to care for others and himself. And also sometimes there are monsters under the bed and he turns himself into a tiger.

Iconic Moment:

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Kirin

Summon for hire
(he/him)
Had Bill and Ted on my list, though it's been ages since I've watched anything with them. Good to hear it mostly holds up. I'm interested in seeing the newer sequel but feel like I want to re-watch the original two first.

I ... apparently didn't vote for C&H? Huh. Maybe I figured topping the Comics list was good enough.
 

YangusKhan

does the Underpants Dance
(He/Him/His)
I feel like it's significant that both Bill & Ted and Wayne & Garth ended up on this list.
 

Vaeran

(GRUNTING)
(he/him)
I didn't read much Calvin & Hobbes growing up (no particular reason, it just wasn't on my radar), but even I can recognize they probably should have been on my list anyway.
 
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