I WENT ON A TRIP AND WATCHED A SHITLOAD OF MOVIES ON PLANES/BOATS.
Lego Batman
Fell asleep almost immediately but that's not the movie's fault. It was a 6am takeoff so we'd been up since 3.
The Batman
I love this movie. it's so long and you could probably cut the entire WAS THOMAS WAYNE BAD?!?!?! subplot. But it's great I love it.
Five Nights At Freddy's
This should have been in theaters in 2015. It's not a good movie, but it's definitely the movie FNAF deserves.
Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
People talk about how they can't make Blazing Saddles anymore, but that's bullshit. You could make Blazing Saddles any day of the week.
You can't make Talladega nights anymore though.
Hunger games Snakes and Songbirds
So here's a weird one. I was resoundingly eh on all the hunger games movies and I hate prequels in general. When this got announced I thought it was the stupidest attempt at a revival I'd ever heard of.
And I loved this fucking movie.
It fixed basically everything I thought sucked about the hunger games. The kills were more brutal, the dual perspectives of the girl in the games and the guy in the booth ratcheted up the tension, and the third act had more MOVIE in it than both parts of Mockingjay.
It's fucked up that the absolutely unneeded decade late prequel is the first "actually really good" movie in the franchise but there we go.
Haunted Mansion (2023)
A dumb script saved by an absolutely stacked cast. I've never heard of LaKeith Stanfield before this but he played off Danny DeVito and Owen Wilson perfectly.
Hayseed
A great little whodunit. Highly recommend to anyone who likes movies about weird guys solving weird crimes by annoying all the suspects.
Wish
It's not legendarily bad but it's not, you know, good. The little "AHA SEE WE CONNECTED IT TO MOVE FROM 60 YEARS AGO" bits were more eye-rolling than anything else. Every line the goat got was a joke, but none of them were funny.
Elemental
Another one I wasn't expecting to like, but it was actually pretty good. A silly little romcom about fire Italians.
Black widow
The most B- Marvel movie. There are like 30 B- Marvel movies, but this one is somehow the most B-.
Barbie
I think what surprised me most was how FAST this movie felt. It doesn't waste a second of runtime. It is operating at levels of jokes per minute that I thought was a lost art.
The Marvels
It was better than I remembered it being! It's still a B- Marvel movie, and it lacks the strength of conviction to make its musical a MUSICAL which is pure cowardice. But it's leads have good chemistry and that's worth a lot. It's a thing that can be on your TV.
The Little Mermaid
I think this one was the moment Disney realized the bottom was falling out on the live action remake thing. Also the movie is very bad.
Ant man
God there's so many B- Marvel movies.
Guardians of the galaxy
An A+ Marvel movie! What a nice change of pace!
Armageddon
I slept through it lol.
Happy Gilmore
It's a classic fuck you.
Mean Girls (2024)
I hated movies about high school when i was in high school. That hasn't changed in the last two decades.
The Truman Show
God there are so many great details in this movie when you watch it closely. And the moment the boat hits the edge. Fuckin iconic.
Jungle Cruise
It's Jungle Cruise who gives a shit
The Equalizer 3
I loved it but if I'm being totally honest it's a little weird that the big action finish was completely one-sided. Lots and lots of buildup and then in the last 20 minutes a 69 year old man slowly walks through a big house and kills everyone. It's weird that it worked.
The Lost City
I love how Daniel Radcliff has fully embraced weird little fucker roles post Harry Potter. Sandra Bullock and Channing Tatum make this dumbass plot work.
The Other Zoey
I tapped out after 5 minutes. I think it's worth noting that the shorthand for "most insufferable human alive" is now "college tech startup wannabe" but that didn't make me hate it less.
A Haunting In Venice
So those Hercule Poirot movies are pretty cool right? I liked the first one and I liked this one. I honestly I already forgot the middle one even happened.
Oppenheimer
Fuck this one hit hard.
I think my big takeaway aside from the obvious "The atom bomb is the worst thing ever and it really did destroy the world" one, is that Oppenheimer was in the world leagues of acting in bad faith. The movie paints a picture of a man who loves being in charge, but hates being responsible. The kind of guy who tries to claim he wasn't calling any shots when he was running the entire fucking town.
Also the scene where what he'd done finally sank in min-big speech where everyone was cheering about how many civilians they just killed was gut-wrenching.
Aquaman 2
It is good that the DCEU got to go out on the high note of "Hey Remember Aquaman! That was fun right! Here's another Aquaman adventure!" No stupid self-serious buildup for movies that won't ever exist. Just 2 hours of Aquaman and pals doing Aquaman stuff and it's a total blast.
Bad Times at the El Royale
I am all about movies where a bunch of strangers with various levels levels of violent pasts get stuck in a weird place and then everything goes to hell. It's one of my favorite genres.